Why incels are a 'real and present threat'...

Spaz

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Nope. Where to find them? Even if you can the young attractive ones are usually someone’s wife.
Allow Guru to assist you.

Get down to the root cause and work from there.

Be willing to listen and be willing to have an open mind Trump.

Remember that those people who are currently engaging with you is because we believe in you when no one else does.
 

corrector

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The point is to eliminate their beauty from the equation and just communicate with them no differently that you would with anyone else. You completely remove the goal of trying to attract them at all. Start off with removing the goal of getting their number, the date, etc. Seek nothing at all but a very brief and friendly conversation in passing, even if it’s just a “hey how are you” and nothing else. Let it end naturally at anytime. Seek nothing.
Does it matter how many times you do this? Is doing this to one women a month okay, or would you say a week or a day, etc...? How frequently?


Amante Silvestre said:
Continuously exposing yourself to attractive women in this manner does 2 things in particular.

1. It shows you are simply being sociable with no endgame in mind.

2. It shows you are not shaken or intimidated by merely a pretty face.
You "expose" yourself, as per your definition, by approaching a random woman (i.e. or whom you want to approach that you would consider to be attractive to you), and ask them "how they are doing, or how their day is going" as a minimal approach strategy and pat yourself in the back if you are able to accomplish this? Maybe it will make your day if she responds favorably? Never worry about her phone number or if she has a boyfriend/is married off the bat.

Amante Silvestre said:
These two impressions will often guide a woman’s reaction to you. If a woman senses both of these things from you, she will more likely respond positively, friendly, etc.

That’s a feeling a man must strive to get used to. It will go a long way to ease those female specific anxieties. And as I said earlier, once a man can achieve that frame, he can then begin to experiment with injecting a little game into the same comfortable process.
Okay so once a certain comfort level is achieved by an unspecified amount of approaches, or reinforced approaches (i.e. multiple approaches and interactions with the same women over time), then you would push the envelope and take more social risks within the interaction itself. If you don't have the desired comfort level to take a social risk then don't take it.
 

corrector

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Agree completely. A FIRST step is becoming very chill or unaffected around attractive women*.

But it’s definitely not easy. An IDGAF attitude is not even enough IME. I still get nervous even around women that I honestly want nothing from. But I’ll keep working at it.

*I mean being really comfortable, even if it results in friendzone. Actually being attractive to attractive women is an entirely different discussion.
Would you consider yourself incel because you still get nervous around women, including those that you don't want anything from?
 

corrector

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The same guy that would be a in incel in london wouldnt be one in minsk even tough the guy clearly has problems overall.
I live in Toronto, Canada, so I guess this would be a strong issue because I think here is worst than London. I sometimes feel if I was in a Latin American country like Brazil, Colombia, etc... or some other part of the world, it would be more difficult not to end up with a girlfriend (i.e. unless you really were gay or something) then for it feeling more fantasy-like and out of reach to get one here.
 

Mike32ct

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Would you consider yourself incel because you still get nervous around women, including those that you don't want anything from?
Great question. No I don’t. I’ve had some limited success with women over the years, but it’s been sporadic. So I’m definitely no longer an incel, but not a textbook “normie*” either.

*A normie is pretty much a normal, average looking guy or regular joe that has regular girlfriends and LTRs from social circles without really trying that hard. (I’m sure you know this term. I defined it for the others.)
 
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Amante Silvestre

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Does it matter how many times you do this? Is doing this to one women a month okay, or would you say a week or a day, etc...? How frequently?
Every opportunity that arises.

You "expose" yourself, as per your definition, by approaching a random woman...
No. You don’t “approach”. You just acknowledge them when they are in your vicinity. In a line. Sitting next to you. Whatever. Everyday situations. If you have to “approach” to talk to an attractive women, you’ve been hiding from them in plain sight.

Maybe it will make your day if she responds favorably?
No. The point is to realize just how rare it is for an attractive women to crush a man just for being sociable.



Never worry about her phone number or if she has a boyfriend/is married off the bat.
No. Why would you? There’s no sexual agenda here, remember?



Okay so once a certain comfort level is achieved by an unspecified amount of approaches...
You’re trying to figure this out like it’s a riddle, a tactic, a textbook procedure... Don’t overthink it.

It’s just a feeling. It’s about establishing comfort with basic communication before anything else.

Do you really think any man with these kinds of social anxieties can simply melt away the fear and win the day to get the cheerleader just because he has a magical pickup line?

You don’t need lines and methods. No one does.

You need comfort first, as a foundation, above everything else. Only once you have that can you truly proceed and progress with communication that can parlay sexual connotations, which will lead to getting the number, the date, etc.

Of course, I now have to explicitly say this alone isn’t enough for men with many issues. This is just one process for one problem. But it is a major fundamental and necessary to tackle.
 

sangheilios

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I haven't gone through every post on this thread, but I also used to be an INCEL.

8th grade I had moved to a new town and was immediately cast out by the rest of my peers, literally didn't have a single friend or get any attention from women all throughout high school. At home I also dealt with a lot of emotional abuse, being put down and criticized for every single thing.....so you can imagine how low my self esteem was. Due to some traumatic experiences I had in my late teens and early twenties it took me a very long time to gain any sort of confidence. I didn't go on my first date until I was 27, almost 2 years ago, and was severely stunted in that regard. I had a few tough experiences that taught me a lot very quickly but what made it easier for me was getting a really good group of guy friends, overall solid individuals with good social skills, likable, etc. These guys didn't come into my life until about a year ago, so prior to them I was making progress on my own but at a much slower rate.

For me this was mostly psychological and due to circumstance, I'm sure that if I had the friends I had years ago I would have developed much sooner.
 

evan12

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If there was a group of ugly, hairy, green haired feminazies with sh*t attitudes towards men, going around shooting up people because attractive guys won’t f**k them do you think it’s society’s responsibility to find them hot guys to f**k?

Are ugly, hairy, green haired feminazies with sh*t attitudes towards men deserving of men?

People create the reality that they live in. If they want a different reality the change starts with them. The world isn’t going to bend over backwards to accommodate their sense of entitlement.

That’s life.
Yes, any negative thing appear from women there are tens of studies get started to see the causes and how to treat it . while nobody want to understand what is incels problem is , I have read many articles ,and all of them want to stress one point "These incels are misogynists"
 

evan12

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I live in Toronto, Canada, so I guess this would be a strong issue because I think here is worst than London. I sometimes feel if I was in a Latin American country like Brazil, Colombia, etc... or some other part of the world, it would be more difficult not to end up with a girlfriend (i.e. unless you really were gay or something) then for it feeling more fantasy-like and out of reach to get one here.
Canadian women hate men in the way that is hard to explain, they want to tear down the man in every chance they get. They hate the fact that they are women, and everytime they look at a man they get angry because they are women.
 

corrector

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Every opportunity that arises.
From the rest of your post, you are defining an opportunity as any "attractive" (i.e. one where there is an emotional stake involved on some level) woman that is in the vicinity. Therefore, if you are at home, no opportunity. If you are at the Gym and there is no-one next to you, or you choose an equipment by yourself, then not in vicinity and no opportunity. You don't have to proactively place yourself in the vicinity of any woman.


Amante silvestre said:
No. You don’t “approach”. You just acknowledge them when they are in your vicinity. In a line. Sitting next to you. Whatever. Everyday situations. If you have to “approach” to talk to an attractive women, you’ve been hiding from them in plain sight.
Well that's easy because its very rare for any woman to be in my vicinity. So theoretically, if a woman is in my vicinity once a month or other month, then there is only an opportunity once every other month. Honestly, I rarely see an attractive woman that is around, and if they are, they are plugged into their smartphone and texting away or with someone else. Guess that puts me off the hook then?


Amante Silvestre said:
No. The point is to realize just how rare it is for an attractive women to crush a man just for being sociable.
Or how rare it is to meet an attractive women in your vicinity in the first place.


Amante Silvestre said:
No. Why would you? There’s no sexual agenda here, remember?
But if the interaction goes too well, then you'll feel you missed out on a sexual opportunity if your limit your goals to just having a fun interaction without any prospect of follow-up. That feels worst to me then doing nothing at all in the first place, at least there is no sense of loss.


Amante Silvestre said:
You’re trying to figure this out like it’s a riddle, a tactic, a textbook procedure... Don’t overthink it.
I might be wired that way and can't help it. You have four personality types. Suppose it is native that I'm an analytic personality type? It's not that I'm trying to figure anything out, it's is how I'm wired.

Amante Silvestre said:
It’s just a feeling. It’s about establishing comfort with basic communication before anything else.

Do you really think any man with these kinds of social anxieties can simply melt away the fear and win the day to get the cheerleader just because he has a magical pickup line?
I'm not looking to win the cheerleader or have unreasonable expectations. You think you are talking to bigdave17?

Amante Silvestre said:
You don’t need lines and methods. No one does.

You need comfort first, as a foundation, above everything else. Only once you have that can you truly proceed and progress with communication that can parlay sexual connotations, which will lead to getting the number, the date, etc.
So how do you get women in your vicinity, more frequently than once in a blue moon, so you can build comfort? Lets assume you are not looking that hot that women are flocking to be in your vicinity, then what?

Amante Silvestre said:
Of course, I now have to explicitly say this alone isn’t enough for men with many issues. This is just one process for one problem. But it is a major fundamental and necessary to tackle.
Well, I think you have an answer. If there are plenty of women in your vicinity, and you feel comfortable talking to women in your vicinity then eventually you will reach a level where closing is a natural extension that flows from basic communication. The catch-22 though is there has to be women in your vicinity for that to work. Is that realistic in a digital age where everyone is plugged into a smartphone and swiping Tinder though?
 

corrector

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I guess nobody fvcks in Canada.
Not exactly, if I wanted to do that then with as little as $ 60 and a phone call and a drive somewhere that could be handled. One thing here is prostitution laws are 100% not enforced unless the girls are minors or involved in sex traffic and are doing so involuntary. That's not the problem.

Just the other day I saw this couple in the Supermarket. I saw the girl tell this burly guy to wait while she checks the frozen items. I kid you not. The guy just stood there and obeyed her and I looked at him like he was a spectacle that was pvssy whipped by that girl. It was a white girl, but the way she looked, I'd say she's like a 5 in the hb scale. I have a cousin who is married to a Filipino lady who bosses him around, takes his money and threatens to call the police on him and lie about domestic abuse if he gets out of line (i.e. she even makes fake cuts on herself). It's not just about getting involved with someone, but it's also if it has to be in a way that you are pvssy whipped, then it starts looking ugly.

Dont know if nobody fvcks in Canada, but certainly people do get fvcked here, and not in a desirable way.
 

Hamurabimbi

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I have some incel friends. But it’s not so much their looks (average looks) holding them back. But severe social anxiety, poor self esteem and passivity. None of them are a danger to anyone.
 
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Trump

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I saw the girl tell this burly guy to wait while she checks the frozen items. I kid you not. The guy just stood there and obeyed her and I looked at him like he was a spectacle that was pvssy whipped by that girl. It was a white girl, but the way she looked, I'd say she's like a 5 in the hb scale. I have a cousin who is married to a Filipino lady who bosses him around, takes his money and threatens to call the police on him and lie about domestic abuse if he gets out of line (i.e. she even makes fake cuts on herself).
Good point.

Knew a girl who would call the police almost every other weekend when she had a fight with her boyfriend. The police would be at her door in 90 seconds. Depending on her mood, sometimes they would take him away, sometimes they wouldn’t. They wouldn’t believe a word he would say, they would just rush to the girls defence.

Canada is definitely a woman’s country.
 

Who Dares Win

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I have some incel friends. But it’s not so much their looks (average looks) holding them back. But severe social anxiety, poor self esteem and passivity. None of them are a danger to anyone.
The 10 most dangerous people I know almost match with the 10 most successful with women...incels do show in none of those groups.
 

guru1000

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Nope. Where to find them? Even if you can the young attractive ones are usually someone’s wife.
@Trump, I find women on OLD, meetup.com, lounges, private parties, parks where I jog, classes (dance, yoga, painting, cooking, acting & improv), social events (invites, charity, pro bono, professional organization, fund raiser), galleries, art exhibits, political campaigns, wine tasting, spiritual organizations, supermarket/grocery/coffee stops, on the street.

Come on brother. Hot women are everywhere. Your question is a self-contrived rationalization.

I understand you more than you may think. You were in an LTR with a 37-year old women. She wanted to marry. You pushed a pre-nup to which she did not agree. You lost her and tried to find an equal or better replacement. You couldn’t. Now you blame SoSuave.

Is my extrapolation remotely close?

If so, then I want to applaud you. Any women who refuses to sign a prenup to a man with assets has ulterior motives. A strong prenup not only protects you to an extent, but also protects her by being clear in what you and she will get should you decide to divorce. I congratulate you on that prenup push and should you desire to marry again, I’d like you to make that exact same request.

Now onto the “issue”: if you are not finding an equal or better replacement with a hot younger girl and you have been actively looking, the problem likely lies in your appearance.

As you seem to attained some wealth for yourself, I’d venture to state that your social acuity, that is how you deal with people is already at a sharp level else you could not have secured such wealth to begin with. Hence, IMO, your appearance may be lacking.

I’m here to assist to extent that you want to be assisted. It’s up to you to share what you would like to share. It’s no sweat off my back either way.

Let’s back up and take a macro-perspective for a moment. Let’s look at Trump, the poster who created this thread. As a third-party viewer, what exactly is lacking in his appearance. Is it his hair, balding? Skin, looks aged? Weak facial aesthetics? No style? What is it exactly? In whatever it is, I can assist ... if you’re straight with me.
 

corrector

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@Trump, I find women on OLD, meetup.com, lounges, private parties, parks where I jog, classes (dance, yoga, painting, cooking, acting & improv), social events (invites, charity, pro bono, professional organization, fund raiser), galleries, art exhibits, political campaigns, wine tasting, spiritual organizations, supermarket/grocery/coffee stops, on the street.

Come on brother. Hot women are everywhere. Your question is a self-contrived rationalization.

I understand you more than you may think. You were in an LTR with a 37-year old women. She wanted to marry. You pushed a pre-nup to which she did not agree. You lost her and tried to find an equal or better replacement. You couldn’t. Now you blame SoSuave.

Is my extrapolation remotely close?

If so, then I want to applaud you. Any women who refuses to sign a prenup to a man with assets has ulterior motives. A strong prenup not only protects you to an extent, but also protects her by being clear in what you and she will get should you decide to divorce. I congratulate you on that prenup push and should you desire to marry again, I’d like you to make that exact same request.

Now onto the “issue”: if you are not finding an equal or better replacement with a hot younger girl and you have been actively looking, the problem likely lies in your appearance.

As you seem to attained some wealth for yourself, I’d venture to state that your social acuity, that is how you deal with people is already at a sharp level else you could not have secured such wealth to begin with. Hence, IMO, your appearance may be lacking.

I’m here to assist to extent that you want to be assisted. It’s up to you to share what you would like to share. It’s no sweat off my back either way.

Let’s back up and take a macro-perspective for a moment. Let’s look at Trump, the poster who created this thread. As a third-party viewer, what exactly is lacking in his appearance. Is it his hair, balding? Skin, looks aged? Weak facial aesthetics? No style? What is it exactly? In whatever it is, I can assist ... if you’re straight with me.
Bigdave17 also has allot of wealth and brags about going on vacation at least 10 times per year and he looks normal. I find it hard to believe that someone with wealth has a difficult time finding a woman who will take advantage of him.
 

Trump

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@Trump, I find women on OLD, meetup.com, lounges, private parties, parks where I jog, classes (dance, yoga, painting, cooking, acting & improv), social events (invites, charity, pro bono, professional organization, fund raiser), galleries, art exhibits, political campaigns, wine tasting, spiritual organizations, supermarket/grocery/coffee stops, on the street.

Come on brother. Hot women are everywhere. Your question is a self-contrived rationalization.
Wow don't have the patience to join those events. Maybe coffee shops and banks and stuff, but classes and social events, art exhiibits, wine tastings, not my thing at all.

I understand you more than you may think. You were in an LTR with a 37-year old women. She wanted to marry. You pushed a pre-nup to which she did not agree. You lost her and tried to find an equal or better replacement. You couldn’t. Now you blame SoSuave.

Is my extrapolation remotely close?
Dont think I blame sosuave. Probably acted alot more harshly with women because of sosuave which often regret. You can be firm without being a jerk.

If so, then I want to applaud you. Any women who refuses to sign a prenup to a man with assets has ulterior motives. A strong prenup not only protects you to an extent, but also protects her by being clear in what you and she will get should you decide to divorce. I congratulate you on that prenup push and should you desire to marry again, I’d like you to make that exact same request.
Thanks.

Now onto the “issue”: if you are not finding an equal or better replacement with a hot younger girl and you have been actively looking, the problem likely lies in your appearance.

As you seem to attained some wealth for yourself, I’d venture to state that your social acuity, that is how you deal with people is already at a sharp level else you could not have secured such wealth to begin with. Hence, IMO, your appearance may be lacking.

I’m here to assist to extent that you want to be assisted. It’s up to you to share what you would like to share. It’s no sweat off my back either way.

Let’s back up and take a macro-perspective for a moment. Let’s look at Trump, the poster who created this thread. As a third-party viewer, what exactly is lacking in his appearance. Is it his hair, balding? Skin, looks aged? Weak facial aesthetics? No style? What is it exactly? In whatever it is, I can assist ... if you’re straight with me.
Hair, skin, facial is OK.
Height is often an issue.
Style don't care much.
Don’t have huge social circle

Height and social circle could be better.
 
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