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why do persons cheat?

Heretolearn

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For general discussion,

two women that I asked said:


1) lust

2) boredom
 

S1NN3R

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3) The thrill of doing something wrong.

4) Cry for attention from partner.

5) Revenge/retribution.

6) Forced ending of current relationship.

7) Just plain and simple lack of concern for partner, i.e. disrespect.

Those are the reasons I've cheated anyway.
 

amoka

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it depends

What do you mean by "cheat". A cheat to you might be a normal behaviour in someone else's life. If you're committed to a person however, you might "cheat" because you luck the experience needed to "commit" yourself to such a person.
 

Natch

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Women cheat because they meet me.
 

Vulpine

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8) Current partner sux in the sack; a need to get off well/right
 

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WestCoaster

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Because it feels good at the moment. Trust me, women really don't break this down logically. They cheat because they can, nothing more, nothing less. They live for the moment, and if at the moment they're getting attention, they'll milk that. They don't look down the road or think of the ramifications. They live for the moment. The quicker you understand this, the better off you'll be.
 

Latinoman

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Insecurity.

Insecurity about his partner...insecurity about the relationship...insecurity about his abilities...insecurity about his feelings.

Comes down to that.

If a person is not satisfied...then he/she should simply communicate that to his/her partner. And then move on (if it comes to that).
 

Latinoman

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They don't look down the road or think of the ramifications. They live for the moment. The quicker you understand this, the better off you'll be.
Good point.

That's why it is very important to let them know that if they ever betray you...and you find out...you will dump her. Even if you find out years or even decades later (when things are going great), they must know that they will be dump in the spot.

They will respect you a LOT if they understand that you are capable of walking away 15 years LATER...in the name of respect. And they will think about it twice, before trying something stupid.
 

WestCoaster

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Yes Latinoman, always take owership and pride of YOURSELF. If you let a woman back in after cheating (did this in my AFC days) they have about as much respect for you as a stray dog. Even if they're sleeping with you and telling you they love you, if you let them back after they've cheated, sub-consciously (or consciously) they have zero respect for you ... yes, even 15 years later.

Always play the respect thyself game first, ALWAYS.
 

wayword

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Latinoman said:
Insecurity.

Insecurity about his partner...insecurity about the relationship...insecurity about his abilities...insecurity about his feelings.
Yup, nothing re-affirms a girl's LSE like feeling desired by men. And nothing re-affirms a man's LSE by fvcking some girls.

So, if your partner's SE starts dropping, LOOKOUT! :nervous:
 

Sixpackman

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I can't remember where i found this or whom wrote it, but it's still good.

------------------------------------------------------------------



Prologue.

I've been doing a lot of thinking on this subject, considering every night now for the last 4 weeks I've been having casual sex with random people. Off the internet, coffee shops, local adult venues, you name it. It's fun stuff, and I'd like to tell you a little bit about this sociological experiment.



Women who Cheat.

When a woman cheats on a man, it's all her fault, no matter how much rationalizing she does. Now I've met all kinds of girls who have boyfriends, have girlfriends, or are married. They all say the same thing when they hook up with me: "I love [x] but I'm not IN love with anymore. I need some spice in my life."

They say, "Oh he's cheating so I can too"
Or, "It's not cheating if you don't get caught."

So. Because he is cheating it makes it okay for you to be a cheater too? You're just making excuses because you want out, but don't have the balls to tell the guy! Oh but it's not cheating if you don't get caught? Everyone eventually gets caught, so it IS still cheating!

Women, lacking the capabilities of higher logical thought processes, are unable to discern these facts from the plethora of fiction running through their heads.

Now after the horizontal hockey, once the puck is out of us, they always want to talk. They want to talk because they want to feel like I'm some kind of good guy, or that they have somehow done the right thing by bumping uglies with me.

I find the easiest way to end the night is to either simply leave when they're in the bathroom (placing a quarter on the pillow just for giggles), or tell them that you have no intentions of ever seeing her again. Take note guys, this is the easiest way to avoid the juggling of emotional baggage. You don't need hers, and you don't have any to begin with - No need to get things messy. Remember always, when it comes to one night stands, you don't want to leave the ball in their court unless you actually want to keep something going.

Ger her number, don't give yours.
Motels and Hotels, not your home.
Rental car - and leave the real wallet at home.
You can get a cheapo at target or whatever, and only keep cash in it, and a state ID, not a drivers liscense (you can get it at the DMV and bars in your state will accept it as legal verification of age/person). Heck, you don't even have to wear a condom if you play your cards right. You could be making babies all over the tri-state area without any accountability, and they won't even know your name!

Note that not all women cheat for these reasons. Sometimes a woman will cheat because the man has gained weight, or lost hair, or a hundred other physical occurances that are only indirectly connected with sex. Yes, attraction is a big deal, but if your love is not stong enough to still love the man, though his appearances change, then it is not love! Remember that physical attraction is not necessary for the female to engage in sexual congress, only a plus.



Men who Cheat.

When men cheat, it is entirely the woman's fault. See men being sexual hounds, are like dogs in heat. Only instead of it being a seasonal thing, we are always on, 100% of the time. You think men bug women about sex a lot as it is? They're only mentioning it or alluding to it once every hundred times they're thinking of it. This is the way the male brain and body has been rigged, and thus is the only way it works. Now, you CAN divert these problems by strict occult training or masochistic practices. Becoming celibate, or "saving yourself" are sure ways to keep you from cheating. As you're not getting any in the first place, there's no one to cheat on, and nothing to do if you WERE cheating.

"Sorry honey, but I have to tell you, I was playing scrabble with another woman.. and it gets worse, afterwards we cuddled and read the bible!"

Not that there is anything wrong with the above described situation, it's only pointed out to show that there are extremes for men as well, and not all of us are poonhounds.

Just like not all women are cheaters, not all men want sex.

However we're diverting from the main thesis of the passage: That when men cheat, it is the womans fault.

Men want booty. We want it always. When a relationship gets to the point where the sex drive of the female drops below what it once was (usually after giving birth, or after a handful of years with the individual) the male begins to secretly dislike the female. He doesn't even know it himself, but it is there.

As women, they have all of the power in a sexual relationship, and the say over when and where and even IF it can take place. When you've been in a relationship of high sexual activity for a long period of time, and the sexual encounters decrease in frequency, the man begins to feel rejected. This is because not only is he already controling his needs so as not to offend said female, but he is stll being rejected as often as if he advanced every time he thought of it. For the male ego, this creates a problem. Jealousy enters and men assume if you're not getting it from him, you're getting it somewhere else! You obviously like sex, you've been having it with the man many many times over the years, but now a sudden drop off? The male mind cannot comprehend any situation that would cause his partner to deny sex.

Men will drop anything for sex. When the woman no longer does, red flags fly in the males mind. So even though a woman is not wired the same way, she needs to keep in mind that the man needs attention. He needs to feel like a hottie, and needs to feel wanted. Most women cannot understand this and instead of giving attention, they give bad advice. This is also known as nagging.

My studies show that 97.8% of the time, any advice a woman can give to a man will be taken as nagging. Men don't ask for directions, they also do not ask for advice.

So the solution to male cheating is simple: give more booty!

Yet this cannot completely clear the situation. Like the other women who cheat, men cheat on women due to changes in physical appearance. My study has shown that when not cheating because of lowered sexual drive in the female, men cheat because of the poor appearance of the female - in most cases, weight gain.

When women get fat, they tend to not put on a pound here or there, but all over in a general swelling of cellulose. When this happens, the male partner is either hampered by her size in bed, making sex difficult or impossible, or is unable to become aroused due to her poor condition. This again makes cheating her fault, as she is directly responsible for her self image. Men can't do it for the females, they have to take care of themselves. Men in these cases will cheat on the female, and still completely love her though she is no longer unable to perform to the standards of his needs. Unlike the female, the male requires physical attraction for the act.


And so in closing, here is my thesis. With women holding all of the power in a sexual relationship, and men holding all of the desire and need, the chances of cheating in the modern relationship are high. Since women need not be attracted to engage in intercourse, and men are only able to engage when attracted, the woman is directly responsible for any sex that is or is not happening. Thus, whenever a woman cheats, it is her fault - and whenever a man cheats, it's still her fault.
 

Freddy1

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On top of what others has said. More reasons why people cheat:
-seeking Adventure & Excitement
-bad sex from partner (some people arnt very good in bed)
-not enough sex from partner
-curiosity in meeting someone different (if you eat meat loaf everyday you'll get sick of it too!)
-aging and simply looking awful (so you want a more youthful looking girl or she wants a guy who isnt balding etc.)
-unfulfill fetish
-hating partner because of bad habits and personality flaws
-recovering ones youth (You know...like going after Catholic girls. Bringing back the good old days.)
-unfulfill emotional needs
 

S1NN3R

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Sixpackman said:
I can't remember where i found this or whom wrote it, but it's still good.
It's too bad you don't know who wrote that. I really wish I could make fun of him personally.

What a tool.
 

Burningblue

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Integrity, the one thing nobody can take from you

Cheating in an LTR results from a lack of integrity. Integrity means having the moral courage to do what is right even when nobody is looking. If she is bored and wants to be with someone else she needs to do the right thing and dump the guy. Alas, cheating is common in the amoral wasteland as another post has pointed out. Even the supposed "good girls" do it. That reality must be recognized.
If you seek a healthy LTR, a cheating woman is worthless in your eyes. No self respecting man should ever give a second chance or even waste a second thought on a girl who has cheated on him. What kind of an LTR can you have with someone you don't trust?
But I guess that's a long answer to a simple question. Cheating=lack of integrity.
 
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