Don't act like you can just lump anyone who is against the notion of marriage into the whole "bitter, negative, womanizing, irresponsible" douche archetype.A-Unit said:This is the problem with these forums in many cases.
1) You're hypocrites. You wouldn't be here were it not for procreation, which most notably occurs under the auspices of a "marriage."
2) Stop using absolutes. They don't apply. Nothing is anything. Kids aren't little ****s and marriages don't suck -- the laws that APPLY to marriage do and possibly the two people ENTERING marriages do, but it's an objective institution that occurs at the Legal, Spiritual, and Religious level.
3) You can espouse facts all you like. Many of you are below 22 (i.e still in College), so at best, you're input into marriage is resigned to "statistics" and a very limited opinion, worth about a grain of salt.
4) Nothing is perfect. At some point, the scales will tip in favor of marriage. For most people, being single through the 20's and 30's is a better choice, but having such a negative view of human interaction severely impacts your own mentality.
Why you get married...
1. Your religion supports it, so the over-arching "rules" in your household are RELIGIOUS, I.e. woman is subservient to her man and places the value of society SECONDARY. This is a major point for religious types to marry and why the state fears a strong religious base, because religious people don't abide by anything but their own rules. Only by merging religion and state OR dissolving it, can you weaken the power base. But religious people have morals which supercede the system under which they operate.
2. You don't need a TITLE, but want to be with the woman/man you are with forever and see it as some sort of expression or celebration. I don't care if you elope, at least you are making a definite statement to one another.
3. Because you want children. While the laws that our country has to protect children and marriages are quite punitive, they are in place for the protection of the oft-screwed race.
4. Insert More...
Many of you are displaying your negativity and ignorance.
Fact: Throughout history women have been 2nd only to slaves in terms of persecution and subjugation (women slaves were the worst, even pre-dating early America circa 1800's).
Fact: Women are EQUALLY screwed, or more so, in divorces. While women CAN earn as much as a man, they probably won't. They don't normally go for the degrees men do, often settling as administrators or teachers.
Men want their cake and to eat it too. I have been here for years and most men are their own worst enemies. They want to spin lots of plates, **** lots of girls (often without protection), and not have any repercussions or social obligations. They don't get women. They chase a women who says one thing and does another, banging their heads against a wall for a woman who doesn't return the affection or attention.
They also get locked into logical absolutes, whereby they try to plan out reality, not realizing they are shapping reality with their perspective and expectations OF reality. You think a bad outcome, you get a bad outcome because your actions are based on a bad outcome, thus, you do all the things necessary to MAKE the outcome bad.
Marry, don't marry. it doesn't matter. I'm not married. I've had many friends marry. I'd rather see MORE constructive talk about how marriage or ltr relationships can be made BETTER, than whining like so many ANTI-marriage websites do. Such people aren't fun to be around because they ***** and complain, rather than do anything. Also, they're the kind of guy who will **** some or many girls and probably NOT pay for the kids he sires.
This is breeding a nation, a world, of irresponsible people who won't care for their ilk, hides behind laws to screw one another, which only doubly screws the kids they had. Even a BAD marriage is likely better than NO marriage or the absence of parents.
Like I said, good or bad, NONE of you would be here without some couple hooking up and hopefully they'd stayed together for YOUR sake. If they didn't, then I'm sorry. I witness first hand how a single mother raises her children vs. a young family. I also see how kids fare without both parents being present consistent.
If you are banging, you better get your headstraight. Nothing is 100% protection and if you have a child as a result, you have a HUGE obligation to that new life to do the best by it. Such threads are hardly constructive to new guys and most of these posts get raving reviews without really any great support.
I am not bitter or a crappy person to be around...in fact people enjoy my company and I leave heavy topics like these to my family.
No I am not banging many girls or spinning any plates...been with the same girl for over a year now and I love and respect her.
No I am not irresponsible...I use condoms and my gf is on the pill. My parents have made it clear that if i get a girl pregnant I am going to raise the child. No abortions, no adoptions.
So what now?? Am I still the evil guy here because I see marriage as a raw deal? Yeah sure, maybe the laws and attitudes towards marriage will change and I may reconsider way down the line...I will give you that.
But my desire to not get married is not stemmed in any deep-rooted negativity or ignorance, as you claim. In fact, guys that do harbor these feelings are least likely to get married anyways cause no woman in her right mind would settle for that kind of attitude.
And whether I choose to have kids or not is my own damn perogative. I should not feel obligated to sire a child just because "my parents did"
Go ahead and get married if you want...don't let my "bitterness" or "ignorance" or "negativity" stop you if thats what you truly desire. Heck, I am going to be a groomsman at my best friends wedding and I won't be stopping him at all. I wish him a long and happy marriage.
But I know the odds are not in his favor and all I was trying to do was point that out. Sue me.