Why 30+ years old girls see me as beta provider?

[Pedrito0906]

Hello brows,

I'm 32, I've been a pathetic nice guy all my life, I've been in this journey to recovery for about 1.5 years, I've got my **** together, have starting to date girls I have never been able to, have gotten way more bold and confident.

I have a house, I'm about 10% income earners, great career, have interesting hobbies, like outdoors activities, play sports, fairly ripped, dance latin music in which I get to meet a lot of girls.

My problem is girls younger won't give the time of day, and women 30+ see me as beta provider, single mothers and not mothers, they wanna take everything super quick to the point of telling me they love me in a month.

I'm not a pushback anymore, and I take care of my needs, I have learned a lot in this past 1.5 year.

My question is, how can I change that projection to be more alpha?

Attached is a picture of me, I'm 5'6" maybe my height doesn't project alpha? Idk I'm very new in all of this dating scene give the fact I focused on studying and creating a good quality of life for me, but never developed girls skills.

Am I doomed? I'll appreciate if you guys tell it how it is and not sugar coat anything cause that way I'll know in what to focus.

 

[Xenom0rph]

My best advice is don't even bother trying to change how 30+ yo women perceive you, because I would recommend you don't even associate with 30+ yo single mothers.

These women are insidious in how they worm their way into your life and entangle you financially and socially in their web of drama.

It starts out as harmless as "let's go for coffee".... then it becomes "oh, say hi to my son/daughter".... then it transitions to "would you mind driving me and my son/daughter to the dentist"....

Single mothers and women in their 30s are just endless headaches.

What I've realized is that it's a big waste of time trying to change a woman's perspective of you. Your best bet is just to move on as quickly as possible as soon as you detect that she thinks you're a beta provider.

 

[member160292]

You need to make it clear that you got your sh!t together and she better too. Once you have grown up in a household where the man is expected to be the provider, it's ingrained in you.

You have to ask yourself "What's in it for me?" on all your dates. Whether sex, relationship, future goals - you need to be very picky because your 30's will shape the rest of your life imo.

You will have dry spells
You will not attract the women you want
You will get lonely sometimes
You will be on dates with crazies

Things you can control, but most are out of your hands. Live your life and enjoy the ride

 

[member160292]

Read this post OP

The greatest lie told by women: "It's because he did [this] or [that]"

Boyos, I'm posting this up in hopes that maybe 1% of you might take it to heart, cause I'm fully aware that the vast majority of men are hopelessly lost and beyond help. Often times you'll hear women say that they aren't attracted to a guy because he "did this" or "did that" or it's because...

www.sosuave.net

 

[manfrombelow]

Hello brows,

I'm 32, I've been a pathetic nice guy all my life,

1. So been most of us. No worries.

I've been in this journey to recovery for about 1.5 years, I've got my **** together, have starting to date girls I have never been able to, have gotten way more bold and confident.

2. Very good.

I have a house, I'm about 10% income earners, great career, have interesting hobbies, like outdoors activities, play sports, fairly ripped, dance latin music in which I get to meet a lot of girls.

3. Excellent.

My problem is girls younger won't give the time of day,

4. Young chicks always require hardest games.

and women 30+ see me as beta provider, single mothers and not mothers, they wanna take everything super quick to the point of telling me they love me in a month.

5. It's their problems, not yours.

My question is, how can I change that projection to be more alpha?

6. You can't change people. With what you are and what you are having now, I say don't go for women older than 30 and single mothers, because they are nothing but headaches. Hit on younger chicks instead.

 

[Kotaix]

Stay away from single mothers, their goal in life is to find a provider to help them raise their spawn; and they will put on whatever show or facade they need to snag a chump.

At your age you shouldn't be dealing with women in their 30s, keep yourself open to new experiences where you'll meet women. And when you meet them, be honest about your attraction towards them. There is nothing to be gained by having covert attraction or being coy, that is for women.

 

[SW15]

5'6" is going to be a difficult obstacle with all women. You will need massive charisma + possibly banging batshiit crazy women to do well at that height. Short Latinas are the best target market. Almost all White women will consider that height icky. However, @Pedrito0906 does not look like a prototypical white collar worker, so that's a real asset.

Avoid single moms. Since you're 32 and childless, you can do this. However, with Latinas, there's a lot of single moms. Childless women 30-35 are more likely the uppity white women with BA/BS degrees or higher who believe that they are entitled to a 6'0"+ man than Latinas. I do think that there are some reasonable options available among 20 something Latinas. Guys at 32-33 are still well positioned to date women in their 20s, but 25-29s are easier targets.

In November 2021, @Pedrito0906 posted a more general thread about what's going on in his dating life. I'm not sure what has changed in the last 8 months but 8 months is long enough to make changes. I do think history and the details from this thread below are relevant to the current discussion.

Getting no dates, what am I doing wrong?

Hi everyone, First of all I wanna thank all bros taking their time to answer questions and share their knowledge. I'm 32, 5'5", 140 lbs, professional, making 6 figures, I have my own house and my car is paid off, with my **** together financially, no kids, never married. I'm an outgoing person...

www.sosuave.net

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Could be a lot of different things. The way you interact with them before meeting, things you say to them on the dates, your body language, being too available, etc...

Most communication is nonverbal...93% of what they are getting via your communication comes from things other than what comes out of your mouth.

That would probably be a good starting point.

 

[Pedrito0906]

5'6" is going to be a difficult obstacle with all women. You will need massive charisma + possibly banging batshiit crazy women to do well at that height. Short Latinas are the best target market. Almost all White women will consider that height icky. However, @Pedrito0906 does not look like a prototypical white collar worker, so that's a real asset.

Avoid single moms. Since you're 32 and childless, you can do this. However, with Latinas, there's a lot of single moms. Childless women 30-35 are more likely the uppity white women with BA/BS degrees or higher who believe that they are entitled to a 6'0"+ man than Latinas. I do think that there are some reasonable options available among 20 something Latinas. Guys at 32-33 are still well positioned to date women in their 20s, but 25-29s are easier targets.

In November 2021, @Pedrito0906 posted a more general thread about what's going on in his dating life. I'm not sure what has changed in the last 8 months but 8 months is long enough to make changes. I do think history and the details from this thread below are relevant to the current discussion.

Getting no dates, what am I doing wrong?

Hi everyone, First of all I wanna thank all bros taking their time to answer questions and share their knowledge. I'm 32, 5'5", 140 lbs, professional, making 6 figures, I have my own house and my car is paid off, with my **** together financially, no kids, never married. I'm an outgoing person...

www.sosuave.net

Lol yeah I remember that post. It has changed a lot for the better, I have great charisma, the only thing I'm lacking is height to be honest, but I guess no ody ia perfect and no woman is perfect either although they think they are.

I know a lot of tall guys who will love to be in the position that I am, in life, but still I guess we want what we can't get lol.

 

[Pedrito0906]

Stay away from single mothers, their goal in life is to find a provider to help them raise their spawn; and they will put on whatever show or facade they need to snag a chump.

At your age you shouldn't be dealing with women in their 30s, keep yourself open to new experiences where you'll meet women. And when you meet them, be honest about your attraction towards them. There is nothing to be gained by having covert attraction or being coy, that is for women.

I went to the point of getting a vasectomy back in March, I said to myself, nobody will take advantage of me anymore, I've worked hard to fet what I have, so no woman will be attaching me with a child and specially single mothers.

Even though is reversible, I'm willing to not have children of that means living an exciting life that I've never experienced before.

 

[Gamisch]

Hello brows,

I'm 32, I've been a pathetic nice guy all my life, I've been in this journey to recovery for about 1.5 years, I've got my **** together, have starting to date girls I have never been able to, have gotten way more bold and confident.

I have a house, I'm about 10% income earners, great career, have interesting hobbies, like outdoors activities, play sports, fairly ripped, dance latin music in which I get to meet a lot of girls.

My problem is girls younger won't give the time of day, and women 30+ see me as beta provider, single mothers and not mothers, they wanna take everything super quick to the point of telling me they love me in a month.

I'm not a pushback anymore, and I take care of my needs, I have learned a lot in this past 1.5 year.

My question is, how can I change that projection to be more alpha?

Attached is a picture of me, I'm 5'6" maybe my height doesn't project alpha? Idk I'm very new in all of this dating scene give the fact I focused on studying and creating a good quality of life for me, but never developed girls skills.

Am I doomed? I'll appreciate if you guys tell it how it is and not sugar coat anything cause that way I'll know in what to focus.

At least wear underwear bro ...haha. and get more tattoos if you wanna rock the " tattoo Latin guy" look.

Nah , I think this happens when a man tries to overcompensate. I recently heard a interesting theory where was said to not even mention your occupation, because it's none of her business and you don't know her yet. That's hardcore I know. What else you gonna talk about?...(hint).

You shouldn't brag about how good your life is. By doing that you basically say" I am a good loyal provider you can just use". The fact you got your shyt together should be the mysterious A(or joker) card you got in your pocket. You might show a glimpse(when you pay for something , how you dress and smell ect.) but DO NOT talk about it, ever!

By the way , at 32 you can easily pull 24 y.o women. I am end 30 and now I date mostly women who just turned 30.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Stay away from single mothers, their goal in life is to find a provider to help them raise their spawn; and they will put on whatever show or facade they need to snag a chump.

Why not just play along until they show their true colors? Then drop em'...

 

[DonJuanjr]

Because dealing with single mothers is sad and bad for you. They are winning, not you, purely by getting your attention. It validates them.

Well, I'm not willing to be a pusssy sacrifical lamb, and go celibate while trying to get harder to game women. I'll take what I can get, until I gain enough game nuance to level up. I don't care if it validates them, as long as I get what I want. When they want to try and put me in the provider role, I'll drop them.

 

[Pedrito0906]

They see you as a beta provider because in your second paragraph you literally list your resume of what you can “provide.” Let her find it out herself, but I bet you find ways to let her know. Right?

Women are super sensitive to uncalibrated bragging. They see it as a red flag for insecurity.

You need more self awareness, dude. That will attracted more women than anything else. Women aren’t turned on by your assets in isolation, so stop trying to transact with it. Only betas have transactional sex.

I don't brag my about my achievements or my personal finances. But when I take them home, they see my house, and when they ask what I do and where I work they automatically see a dollar sign cause of the nature of my job.

What am I supposed to do lie? Take them to a motel?

I've trying to be more than an ******* and manufacturing drama to play with their emotions to see how they act, its been kinda fun honestly.

 

[DonJuanjr]

What am I supposed to do lie? Take them to a motel?

You can do either of those. Don't feel bad lying to women. Tell them you rent it or something. Or do like others and take them to a motel.

 

[Pedrito0906]

So…you take them home, they like your home, you (presumably) bang them?

What’s the issue?

You said in your OP that women don’t give you the time of day. But you’re taking them home now?

You full o sh1t, Holmes

Okay I forgot to mention, I don't take the women I want to take, but I take I guess the leftovers lol

 

[DonJuanjr]

So, if you’re out banging sh1t women and validating them then you can’t then complain about women being sh1t (as you often do).

It’s not about being a sacrificial lamb. It’s about being a respectable, honourable man.

What happens if their are no fatties or single moms left? Do you give up or switch to even lower standards?

At least I would be banging chicks. How is being an incel better pan? Are you saying lower quailty women don't communicate covertly, and don't exhibit the same feminine traits/reality, that all women do? There is still game to be learned in interacting with lower quality women, vs constantly striking out, and not learning any game nuance because you're expecting pro results when you're a rookie.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Being an incel with standards is far better than being a man who must have sex no matter what, regardless of the target, for his own sense of existence.

I don't see how not having a chance to escalate with women is more conducive to learning game than learning seduction even if the target is lower value. Being celibate for an extended period of time comes with a loss of masculinity as a result. You wouldn't know this because you've never experienced it. I'm telling you, being an incel is far worse for one's sense of existence than realizing there may be a learning curve with regards to the quality of women they interact with when learning game nuance.

 

[Pedrito0906]

not learning any game nuance because you're expecting pro results when you're a rookie.

That's exactly my point, I'm learning with lower tier women, I'm not marrying them, I'm practicing game and using social proof with them.

Eventually will get better "quality" women, but to me practicing game is better than not practicing.

 

[Pedrito0906]

Being an incel with standards is far better than being a man who must have sex no matter what

That's BS, an incel with standards is synonyms of not being able to play the game, good game or bad game. I was one blue pilled incel with standards.