WHoa! I just had an epiphany on attraction

[Starman]

I go to this supermarket where a few hotties work at..the check out..I usually go to the cute ones to talk them up..and I do here and there..but never asked for a number because there is always someone behind me rushing..

Today, I saw this girl that Ive seen before..that I never really thought much of..she was plain jane looking..and paled in comparison to the others..

I decided to go in her checkout..because the line was shorter..

I started to chat with her..and she actually made eye contact, was kinda funny in a "Im-a-freakin-cashier-my-life-sucks" kinda way..and she was really friendly..

As I spoke with her..I noticed a subtle attraction (me to her )..which didnt compute..Here is this girl..that I always see that I never bother giving a 2nd look to..and Voila! up front and personal .. its a different story..

The point Im making is this..Visual attraction only goes so deep..and that there are so many other intricate layers to attraction (chemistry, body language, mental connection, resemblance to a celebrity you like, etc etc etc) its very complex and goes WAAAY beyond just looks.

So those of you who are out sarging at clubs , university whatever..and have your eye on a certain somebody..that has not looked your way once..

Remember my story..Its a WHOLE diferent ballgame once you get past the visual barrier..

This also happened to me about 20 years ago..when I was attracted to an unattractive girl..and I couldnt understand it..

But now its making sense..

Anyone else ever have this happen to them? Becoming attracted to someone that isnt exactly GORGEOUS?

 

[Tryin to Grow a Chin]

Originally posted by Starman


Anyone else ever have this happen to them? Becoming attracted to someone that isnt exactly GORGEOUS?

Oh yeah. I just banged her half an hour ago.

 

[Starman]

heh yo chin master,

hows it going man?

I remember a while back you were pretty down and out, with some addiction issues..that you kicked..hows life and the ladies been treatin ya?

 

[Tryin to Grow a Chin]

I've pulled myself together, I'd say. I now get laid on a regular basis and I just celebrated a year clean. Life is good.

 

[STR8UP]

Good post.

And it works the other way around too, even more so. That's why if you are a dude unless you give plenty of women an opportunity to preview your personality you aren't likely to be gettin any.

 

[jakethasnake]

I think it's called being human. We are not callous, robotic creatures by nature, machines that operate on complex algorythims and equations, by precise programming.


I really liked that post, because 95% of the time it seems like the sosuave is a sterile, robotic place without any humanity to it. Sure, it's absolutely possible that you can be attracted to less than perfect looking women. It's perfectly natural, and it happens to me all the time.

 

[TheCollector]

Man that is completely true Starman. I'm guilty of simply judging a girls personality sometimes by her looks which is the wrong thing to do. I should be chatting up average looking girls and the hot ones to see if there is any chemistry.

 

[Starman]

Str8 thats what I was trying to convey, Im not sure if I came out clear or not.

Just because a woman hasnt had a chance to know your personality..combined with incomprehnsible chemistry, etc etc..doesnt mean she wont like you.

The good part for us fellas is this.

I think men are more visual than women..and women tend to become attracted to men..as they interact, talk, get to know one another or simply be in their presence..

This is to answer the Millions of "Do looks really matter that much??" threads.

YES, if you are relying on a girl to scope you out and come after you looks are very important. But if you are doing the sarging and can create the magic (sometimes to create the magic all you have to do is talk to them)..you are in like flynn..

Its not that hard..Looks matter like 50% to women (my opinion)..unless you are dealing with a shallow valley girl type.

 

[STR8UP]

Originally posted by Starman
YES, if you are relying on a girl to scope you out and come after you looks are very important. But if you are doing the sarging and can create the magic (sometimes to create the magic all you have to do is talk to them)..you are in like flynn..

WE NEED MORE POSTS LIKE THIS EVERYONE! I rarely post on the main board anymore because everything there is just recycled garbage.

What we're talking about is simple, but true. You never know when you will "click" with someone simply by uttering a few words.

It amazes me how I can look at someone from across the room and try to size them up, but after talking to them face to face in a matter of seconds my opinion can change drastically.

Body language and all nonverbal communication are very important but if you're missing that 7% or whatever that verbal communication and close interaction brings to the table you're really missing 90%. ESPECIALLY considering you are the guy and expected to initiate.

 

[Lionheart]

"Originally posted by Starman
YES, if you are relying on a girl to scope you out and come after you looks are very important. But if you are doing the sarging and can create the magic (sometimes to create the magic all you have to do is talk to them)..you are in like flynn.."

YES...and if you have BOTH then you will be unstoppable.

If you don't have the looks to attract easily, then you had better have a wonderful personality - BUT you then have to be willing to go up to someone and SHARE that personality.

I read a great quote from somewhere....

The problem with good looking people is that they aren't charming or interesting...because they've never HAD to be.

 

[Starman]

heh good quote Lionheart..When I was 21 (im 30 now) ..I used to have girls coming up to me ALL the time..in the streets, clubs, McDonald's , Road trips..Then I guess my looks kinda faded (Snicker)..Now I get some women come up to me..but its not as easy as before..

the point is .. having women come up to me kinda retarded my Sarging abilities..Why learn to hunt when the food comes to you? Now Im actually doing some work on my own..to make up for lost time..

Here are some other Factors that can attract a chick to you..even if you arent that good looking.

1) A good looking girl who has low self esteem(because maybe she was ugly as a teen or a child) but is now beautiful

2) An overly nice girl..who never can say no..and can eventually fall for you

3) If you remind them of someone they like (an exboyfriend, a celebrity, their dad)

4) Your generosity (i.e. if out clubbing ..and you buy a round for all your friends .. and a few chicks..ITS OK..you dont look like a chump..because you arent trying to impress the chick..but trying to show everybody and yourself a good time (This has worked with me and alot of my friends although a bit expnsive)

5) Kino Kino KINO!! I can not emphasize this enough

and others..

as a side note..My Best friend in the world(female) who would bend over backwards for me and has helped me in the past numerous times .. although I was never attracted to her (She is like 300 lbs)..I did make a very good lifelong friend..she has proven herself on many accounts..and I jokingly tell her I would marry her if We're not married by 40 (I hope she knows Im joking)

But women are like Apples..you pick em off the tree..sometimes you will get a rotten one..sometimes a golden one..

dont wait for the apples to fall from the tree..to your lap..you have to Reach for em

 

[TesuqueRed]

Starman, I've had girls who certainly don't fit my "type" become attractive--I don't know WTF it is, but I knew they were the exception.

This happens more as you get older.

What I noticed:

HBs of 8, 9, 10 etc often remain nothing more to me and nothing more useful than eye candy since their personality (or lack thereof) means that the only thing they have to offer is a stunning part of nips, slim hips and divinely shaped @ss---but unable to hold a moderately interesting conversation.

So I use them merely for eye-candy. That's all they are.

And other times someone I would consider a 5 (age does that, it's cruel) but is endlessly facinating or has depth or whatever will be irresistible. God knows it isn't the tits (sagged long ago..) but these are sufficient, and having dinner with them at a nice restaraunt is more erotic and more facinating than Miss Pert Tits who can't hold a conversation.

It gets more distinct with age.

Something to do with the hormones, I think...

 

[duke007]

Really good topic.

I believe actually talking to someone and finding they have a great, fun personality can add a few points. A 6 can become an 8.

I think your mind plays tricks on you. It will be so automatic and involuntary that your brain will process your vision differently. Nice girls will actually look prettier.

It happens to everyone. How many times has a friend described his crush as an 8 but when you see her she doesn't look that great? But he can't distinguish this.

My old one-itis became ugly after I got over her. Not because she was beautiful beforehand, but because my mind was playing tricks on me. These tricks were so seamless I was clueless as to what was happening. And with hindsight I remembered how passe she seemed when she first sat down next to me.

Psychology is weird...