Where Do You Meet Women?

[Money & Muscle]

Or you can learn to game more subtly, so they don't think you're on the prowl, but just a warm and friendly regular.

Oh, in that case I already do that. Like all the time.

You're telling me that was 'game'? feck me sideways

 

[SW15]

It wouldn't be weird to approach and get rejected a woman in a gym where I frequent? Asking honestly. I've seriously only ever approached like 3 girls and IDK if calling it an "approach" is an accurate term for it.

Great question. There's not a simple answer. The answer is that it depends.

You would have to consider how much you like your current gym and how willing you would be to switch gyms. It can be annoying to see women at your gym who have rejected your advances. There are worse outcomes than that. The next worst outcome is seeing a woman that you went out on 1-2 dates with and you didn't end up having sex with her. Not fun to see those women repeatedly either. Neither situation is bad enough to consider switching gyms to avoid the unpleasantness.

The situations that would arise that are most likely to lead to switching gyms are extended relationships that go bad (usually in 6-24 months) or casual sex arrangements that go bad.

There are options available to avoid uncomfortable gym situations. One option you could do would be to buy a supplemental class pack at a chain studio like a SoulCycle, Title Boxing, or Orange Theory. You could buy class packs and use them as needed when the need arises to meet women. They do expire after a certain period of time. If you meet a woman at SoulCycle or Title and things go bad, the class pack expires, you don't see that woman again, and then life goes on at your primary gym. ClassPass is another option that allows you to do the same thing. With ClassPass, you pay a monthly fee to ClassPass and that allows you to go to participating facilities like 1-2 times a month. You can go to different places, see a lot of different faces, and avoid some messy situations. Either option is one that could work well depending on your needs. I've tried both of those options over time.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

You're telling me that was 'game'? feck me sideways

If it makes these women desire you, then it's game, even if you don't do anything with it. You don't need to prove yourself to anyone.

 

[The Duke]

How about this, hit the local bar happy hour. Talk to women

If my marriage goes to sh*t, I would like to be prepared to handle life outside of marriage. Is that unreasonable?

I also have a very serious aversion to rejection that I need to get over if I'm ever to raise a son to be the kind of man this world needs.

Yes, it kind of is unreasonable. You have stated that you have little free time. I would think you would want to spend it with your wife and kid, not hitting on random wh0res. Its really selfish, and not fulfilling.

Worry about life outside of marriage when you have to cross that bridge.

Something tells me you don't want to be in this marriage, or wish you had some side piece? Thats the way you are headed.

 

[The Duke]

Oh, in that case I already do that. Like all the time.

You're telling me that was 'game'? feck me sideways

Just start chatting up strangers when you are out running errands, at the gym, etc. Thats really what its about. Guys make it too complicated when their goal is to get a girls phone number.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Yes, it kind of is unreasonable. You have stated that you have little free time. I would think you would want to spend it with your wife and kid, not hitting on random wh0res.

There is occasional schedule overlap.

Just start chatting up strangers when you are out running errands, at the gym, etc. Thats really what its about. Guys make it too complicated when their goal is to get a girls phone number.

Seems pretty straight forward. It sounds dumb, but yes - I've overcomplicated the sh*t out of this stuff for way too long.

FWIW, I don't want out of my marriage, and I don't want to exercise needing a sidepiece, I just don't want to be dependent on my wife and hamstrung because I chose to neglect skills I could have worked on while married - if we get divorced. I hope these are skills I develop but never have to use.

It's also quite difficult to nail down a threesome (bucket list) if I can't pick up women.

 

[Hacker]

By far the best places in my opinion have been at grocery stores. So easy to ask a woman about a product. The key to cold approaching is about finding anything around you and talking about it. A great one to use is "Im not from around here, do you know of any good bars, places to eat around here, etc? Even if you are from the area its a great one to use. Ask them a question first because it doesnt seem like you are just trying to get there number right off the bat. Women like to be helpful. Ease into it. Gyms are super easy too.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Guys make it too complicated when their goal is to get a girls phone number.

You don't even need a girl's number (she'll give it to you anyway if she wants you), it's enough to have a way to contact her that is not too intrusive. I mainly give them my IG and let them contact me.

I found IG is ideal since it's not specifically 'dating app' and you can get some sense of who you're dealing with on how they present themselves on IG. Women like my IG because it features photos of my cat (mostly taken by street photographers), photos of my poetry and you don't need to follow me in order to message me. So they take my picture and send it to me and I'll find out soon enough if it can lead anywhere.

 

[RazorRambo24]

Nightclubs, Bars with lounges/dance floors, music festivals, beach, high end retail stores or big department stores, malls, traveling/travel destination/tourist destinations in your city, online throguh social media, dating apps, college (if you take classes, dont be a creepy dude going to colleges without taking any classes), networking in general, social clubs, mutual friends, social gatherings (parties/potlucks/get togethers)

 

[PlatoPacks23]

For me it dance events, salsa, bachata, merengue. Its typically filled with women, women love to dance. Imagine a jacked guy like you dancing.

unless you're amazing at dancing, I find these salsa classes etc to be a really impossible way to meet women. yes you can get good at it in like 5-6 months or whatever it just doesn't seem worth the time commitment, and people taking the class are just too tall for someone of average height like me lol

 

[PlatoPacks23]

having done over 100 approaches this year with around 80% of them resulting in either rejections or mediocre responses I can tell you if you want to successfully open a woman you either need a prop or something within the environment to play off

Bars are one of the only places where its socially acceptable to just randomly directly hit on girls

Anywhere else and you run the risk of quickly gaining the dreaded "creep" tag

Women are hyper aware of cold approach and most do not like it

Ive done a lot of gym approaches this year and my best ones have revolved around asking genuine questions

out of curiosity other than gym,, where are you approaching where your approaches aren't working? street? malls?

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

unless you're amazing at dancing, I find these salsa classes etc to be a really impossible way to meet women. yes you can get good at it in like 5-6 months or whatever it just doesn't seem worth the time commitment, and people taking the class are just too tall for someone of average height like me lol

You get amazing by practicing. Classes are not that good, but I said dance events.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

unless you're amazing at dancing, I find these salsa classes etc to be a really impossible way to meet women. yes you can get good at it in like 5-6 months or whatever it just doesn't seem worth the time commitment, and people taking the class are just too tall for someone of average height like me lol

That's the defeatist attitude.

You think that 5-6 months to develop a new skill isn't worth the time commitment, but a lot of people spend hours watching PUA videos or listening to audio books telling them how to approach women.

I went on tango lessons back when I was still married and not looking for women. When my wife and I started the second course, I was approached by the dance teacher who asked me if I could come in alone on other nights to dance with single women who wanted to learn tango but couldn't find a partner. There was always a shortage of male tango dancers in every course.

What I know is that some dances are very intimate, like vertical lovemaking.
And women really go for men who can dance, even when the men are physically less attractive - the ability to dance is attractive.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

That's the defeatist attitude.

You think that 5-6 months to develop a new skill isn't worth the time commitment, but a lot of people spend hours watching PUA videos or listening to audio books telling them how to approach women.

I went on tango lessons back when I was still married and not looking for women. When my wife and I started the second course, I was approached by the dance teacher who asked me if I could come in alone on other nights to dance with single women who wanted to learn tango but couldn't find a partner. There was always a shortage of male tango dancers in every course.

What I know is that some dances are very intimate, like vertical lovemaking.
And women really go for men who can dance, even when the men are physically less attractive - the ability to dance is attractive.

it's not defeatist, I can take up working out or bettering my mental health instead of "salsa dancing" something I don't even enjoy

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

it's not defeatist, I can take up working out or bettering my mental health instead of "salsa dancing" something I don't even enjoy

Do you enjoy intimacy?

There's a reason I mention tango and not salsa. Tango is an extremely intimate dance.
I could make a personal case, but you could also read this:

Most Romantic Activities: Argentine Tango — Ultimate Tango School of Dance

There are many ways in which couples can revitalize the romance in their relationship, but it’s no doubt that Argentine tango is one of the most romantic activities couples can do together.

www.ultimatetango.com

.

How do dancers manage the intimacy of tango? (the codigos) – TangoForge

But you can just stick to working out, if you're unable to get out of that comfort zone.

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

it's not defeatist, I can take up working out or bettering my mental health instead of "salsa dancing" something I don't even enjoy

Maybe you don't enjoy it because you don't know how to do to or how to start. Once you spend months doing the same moves over and over, like a choreography, it becomes second nature, it is not has hard as it looks, all those moves you see from teachers are a choreography that they practice with the same woman.

 

[NealIRC]

I'm surprised no 1 said networking, or introduce by friends?

For me, I scout for girls on my city's arrest database, and I can scan by neighborhood. Then, find to see if they have a Facebook, then message them their mugshot, followed by "Oh my god ___ you are effing beautiful!"

 

[stringpuller]

*Inspired by Mall Game is Dead thread*

I've never done pickup or actively approached women, but I'm running Rules of The Game because that needs to get fixed.

Between work, school, lifting, and travel - I'm left with very little time or opportunities to chat with women, which I will need to do to get over my AA/Fear of Rejection and complete the challenges. I intend to do every challenge except physically going on a date with another woman as I'm married and would rather not go that far. Flirting and getting numbers is about as far as I'll go, so save your moralizing - I'm not going to be cheating.
I'm doing this so if my marriage goes to sh*t - I won't be starting from scratch learning to talk to women in my 30s (something that I needed to know in my teens) after being zeroed out.

Anyways, where do you guys go to meet women? What's your opener?

Smart to do this.
If you are not in situations to meet women you will have to change your route and go to places that they go to.
I would say everywhere and anywhere.

 

[stringpuller]

And you wonder why your marriage is failing

Boy what a clueless statement. This has nothing to do with it. I assure its the lack there of.

 

[stringpuller]

Just for you

Yep and you can yell the guys who dont do well with girls by such statements.
They think women have morals lol