Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Where did all the a-holes go?

Fruitbat

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Only a few years ago every post which wasn’t “I laid 30 women and can bench 300lb” was met with a collection of narcissists….something like:

“This girl said X”

Reply: “She already knows you’re a wuss. You have only yourself to blame” kind of thing.

Recently I’ve posted a couple of things I am struggling with and actually got good advice. With no berating.

What happened?
 

Atom Smasher

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I banned them all!

But seriously, I have noticed the tide turning for the better here. A lot of guys seem more willing to understand men’s problems and help them through it in a constructive way instead of the insta-berating that we have historically seen.

New guys often come here wounded and bleeding, and we should recognize that we have a brother in need here. We can help him and guide him to the red, or we can push him away. Of course there are times when some tough love is needed, and that’s fine as long as we have the discernment to know that we’re doing it in order to snap him out of a disastrous thought process or behavior pattern.

It’s good to hear that a veteran like yourself is experiencing this wave of brother helping brother.
 

RazorRambo24

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Shoot I been reading the forums a while now.. I'm talking years .. on and off. Back when phones barely had mobile function till now. I've seen things really change. At one point there was alot of dudes in here who had alot of advice to give, but the PUA and book references were crazy.. Majority of people on here were dudes who seemed to be studying women and dating and pickup as if it was a science class at college. Those were good times though because there were plenty of dudes actually talking about interesting **** with women, --plenty of dudes getting laid.. but the rest were just clueless.. like to a cringe level of clueless of how to deal with women.

I still appreciated those times and I remember we had some heavy hitters in the community of dating/pickup in here.

But when the redpill stuff got hot, this forum became one of the most pathetic place son the internet.. Just a cesspool where incels gathered to hate on women.. I'm kinda glad that phase seemed to have died down.. I'm not sure what changed.. but I think those dudes just realized that simply hating on women all day long was not going to get them anywhere..

Overall if you understand the demographic of this forum, alot of dudes are just older.. and the younger guys just want to get better at game or are not satisfied with their dating life..

All in all, no matter what, whenever I start reading the forums again, it seems like this place is full of people who need guidance and help. Alot of people in here probably have potential.. its just hard to see it with alot of those who are just so lost
 

Fruitbat

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I banned them all!

But seriously, I have noticed the tide turning for the better here. A lot of guys seem more willing to understand men’s problems and help them through it in a constructive way instead of the insta-berating that we have historically seen.

New guys often come here wounded and bleeding, and we should recognize that we have a brother in need here. We can help him and guide him to the red, or we can push him away. Of course there are times when some tough love is needed, and that’s fine as long as we have the discernment to know that we’re doing it in order to snap him out of a disastrous thought process or behavior pattern.

It’s good to hear that a veteran like yourself is experiencing this wave of brother helping brother.
Good work smasher. Not just an atom smasher, an annoying pr1q smasher as well.

yes tough love is needed. When I came here I was a pathetic mess. I got some horrible advice and some great advice.

As you say, the only time a brother needs a slap is when he’s not getting it. You don’t need to be Uber red pill but you do need to be honest with yourself.

We do have disagreements - myself and @Jesse Pinkman have clashed on daygame but we are respectful and honest about our positions.

Breaking a brother down who’s come to us as you say, wounded and bleeding, is the lowest of the low and not the action of a secure and strong male.

All of us are in varying stages of development and I’m glad this place is as much a plave for men to gather and discuss how to be better men rather than purely a place to discuss how to manipulate women and boost one’s ego.
 

Stanley

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Breaking a brother down who’s come to us as you say, wounded and bleeding, is the lowest of the low and not the action of a secure and strong male.

All of us are in varying stages of development and I’m glad this place is as much a plave for men to gather and discuss how to be better men rather than purely a place to discuss how to manipulate women and boost one’s ego.
Well said. I think many here forget that this site isn't just about smashing as much poon as possible. I came her to hear advice both good and bad from men my senior unfiltered. Its proven to be fruitful to say the least and has provided a nice backboard to launch off of.
 

Fruitbat

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Majority of people on here were dudes who seemed to be studying women and dating and pickup as if it was a science class at college.
I remember one guru who used lines like “escalate kino by 30%, increase c+f 50%” lol

I thjink some posters here were on the spectrum and couldn’t really grasp the nature of relationships. Big Neil was a classic who thought that because he could earn a lot and buy escorts, that it counted the same. Genuinely couldn’t understand the difference.

I have a relative on the spectrum so I am in no way mocking them, but it explains how they approach this game in a logical and scientific way.

Dealing with women is as far from science and as close to an art as it gets.
 

Fruitbat

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Well said. I think many here forget that this site isn't just about smashing as much poon as possible. I came her to hear advice both good and bad from men my senior unfiltered. Its proven to be fruitful to say the least and has provided a nice backboard to launch off of.
Im proudly monogamous and I am still here mainly to shoot the shyt, but also married men need advice. If people think they needs game when they’re single they need to learn a whole new game in an LTR.

Experience is the best teacher. I came here after being near suicidal after a simping relationship which broke me.

I learned the red pill, took what I needed and left what I didn’t.

Most of us at some point were in a mess. Men who are complete and attractive don’t search for forums on how to attract women.
 

Stanley

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I remember one guru who used lines like “escalate kino by 30%, increase c+f 50%” lol

I thjink some posters here were on the spectrum and couldn’t really grasp the nature of relationships. Big Neil was a classic who thought that because he could earn a lot and buy escorts, that it counted the same. Genuinely couldn’t understand the difference.

I have a relative on the spectrum so I am in no way mocking them, but it explains how they approach this game in a logical and scientific way.

Dealing with women is as far from science and as close to an art as it gets.
Earlier today while going through some threads I genuinely began to think that some posters here might honestly be either exceptionally inquisitive or not socially calibrated to the extent that some might be on the spectrum. That of course isn't a criticism by any means, but the guys that think in numbers in regards to life dumbfound me. I cannot wrap my head around how someone can break things down to formulas and code in relation to something as nuanced as dating and sex. My mind just doesn't work like that and I find it amazing that some people think in that way because I just don't. I came to this forum not to attract women as that wasn't a problem, it was moreso insecurities and performance anxiety keeping me from my potential. I needed a kick in the a** and I got it.
 

Fruitbat

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Earlier today while going through some threads I genuinely began to think that some posters here might honestly be either exceptionally inquisitive or not socially calibrated to the extent that some might be on the spectrum. That of course isn't a criticism by any means, but the guys that think in numbers in regards to life dumbfound me. I cannot wrap my head around how someone can break things down to formulas and code in relation to something as nuanced as dating and sex. My mind just doesn't work like that and I find it amazing that some people think in that way because I just don't. I came to this forum not to attract women as that wasn't a problem, it was moreso insecurities and performance anxiety keeping me from my potential. I needed a kick in the a** and I got it.
lucky you! I never really attracted them but I always had the bottle to approach, and thah puts you ahead of 90% of guys. Plus being tall helps.

The main change in focus has been away from technique towards self. Think of a fat woman who’s unkempt trying to learn dating strategy. What would we say? Ditch the books and hit the gym, then buy some nice clothes - then hit the strategy.

Same for us. If you’re not lifting regularly, working on goals and looking after your appearance and confidence in life generally, strategy is as much use to you as a sword is to a modern army.

So much of this can be boiled down to: Lift and create a well rounded individual. Women aren’t dumb, they know who rocks, who doesn’t and no end of game will help thatZ

the ONLY time strategy works if for guys who are strong, doing well but keep failing as theyre too blue pill, too weak and too needy. They benefit.
 

Jesse Pinkman

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I banned them all!

But seriously, I have noticed the tide turning for the better here. A lot of guys seem more willing to understand men’s problems and help them through it in a constructive way instead of the insta-berating that we have historically seen.

New guys often come here wounded and bleeding, and we should recognize that we have a brother in need here. We can help him and guide him to the red, or we can push him away. Of course there are times when some tough love is needed, and that’s fine as long as we have the discernment to know that we’re doing it in order to snap him out of a disastrous thought process or behavior pattern.

It’s good to hear that a veteran like yourself is experiencing this wave of brother helping brother.
Appreciate the work you have been doing. I have seen other Game forums and communities fall apart from drama because one user decided to start sh*t with others and spread rumors. It even went as far as trying to dox people. Glad that this community is heading in the right direction.
 

9-3enthusiast

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One in particular springs to mind - even his avatar re-inforces the 'a-hole' persona....
Coupla times lately I've come close to risking getting myself a ban by replying strongly - even typed out a few replies... then thought better of it and deleted.....
Nice to see he's now banned... :up:
 

RazorRambo24

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I remember one guru who used lines like “escalate kino by 30%, increase c+f 50%” lol

I thjink some posters here were on the spectrum and couldn’t really grasp the nature of relationships. Big Neil was a classic who thought that because he could earn a lot and buy escorts, that it counted the same. Genuinely couldn’t understand the difference.

I have a relative on the spectrum so I am in no way mocking them, but it explains how they approach this game in a logical and scientific way.

Dealing with women is as far from science and as close to an art as it gets.
YES! there was so much PUA lingo going on, it was hard to understand at times.. **** was hilarious though. You'd see like a whole report and it was just like a buncha PUA code .. and ur like "i think dude did his thing! sounds like it! lol".

and yeah man you might be right about the spectrum thing. Not just that but there's probably a bunch of reasons why dudes find it hard to understand women and dating. I learned to stop judging a while back. Some people also are more analytical and logical and some people are just more sociable and creative minded.

While I never really kept up with those dudes much, it's kinda sad that some of the greats in the world of dating/pickup/spinnin plates are no longer with us though. Rest in Peace to PlayerSupreme. Was a true OG! I had a friend who really looked up to him.
 

BillyPilgrim

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Hmm...maybe that can be a new Paula Cole song...instead of wondering where all the Cowboys have gone she can now wonder "Where have all the A-Holes Gone"?
Regardless, she will be singing it to her cats. Who may or may not be singing back "Where has all the Kal-Kan Gone?"
 

CollegeMan22

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Appreciate the work you have been doing. I have seen other Game forums and communities fall apart from drama because one user decided to start sh*t with others and spread rumors. It even went as far as trying to dox people. Glad that this community is heading in the right direction.
I greatly appreciate this forum. You hear what you need to hear, which helps a lot when you are overwhelmed by emotion or attachment. I don't know many other Game forums that are active. Roosh shut down all of his game forums, r/seduction is dead as of two months ago, and r/TheRedPill only has a post every day or two. The classic books of our community (Mystery, Style, Roosh, Pook) are good, but having a group of guys sharing ideas and wisdom with regard to your personal situation is of great benefit.

What are some other Game/PUA forums?
 
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SargeMaximus

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I greatly appreciate this forum. You hear what you need to hear, which helps a lot when you are overwhelmed by emotion or attachment. I don't know many other Game forums that are active. Roosh shut down all of his forums, r/seduction is dead as of two months ago, and r/TheRedPill only has a post every day or two. The classic books of our community (Mystery, Style, Roosh, Pook) are good, but having a group of guys sharing ideas and wisdom with regard to your personal situation is of great benefit.

What are some other Game/PUA forums?
I was part of one called “NextASF” before coming here. They shut down too
 

Fruitbat

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YES! there was so much PUA lingo going on, it was hard to understand at times.. **** was hilarious though. You'd see like a whole report and it was just like a buncha PUA code .. and ur like "i think dude did his thing! sounds like it! lol".

and yeah man you might be right about the spectrum thing. Not just that but there's probably a bunch of reasons why dudes find it hard to understand women and dating. I learned to stop judging a while back. Some people also are more analytical and logical and some people are just more sociable and creative minded.

While I never really kept up with those dudes much, it's kinda sad that some of the greats in the world of dating/pickup/spinnin plates are no longer with us though. Rest in Peace to PlayerSupreme. Was a true OG! I had a friend who really looked up to him.
There were the game scientists as you say, Mr Charles Bradshaw PUA RP esq, there were also the narcissist ego braggers who just were aggressive. They made it so you could not come on here and say “Look, I’m failing at X. Help” or “I did this, what do you think?”

If you responded to the taunts or just simply disagreed with them on a point, often they would pull up things you’ve said, maybe on a bad day, or when you were new. It fostered an atmosphere where you didn’t want to ask for any help. Which defies the whole point of a forum.

Now, this is where experience comes in. As a newbie and a younger man a part of me would believe it. Perhaps I am a simp, perhaps I am extremely lacking. I was that wounded and bleeding man and this kind of thing gets to you.

Now, 10 years on in a secure place, it’s almost comical.

What kind of PUA god is sitting on a forum most of the day? They’d generally be out enjoying life. The time spent on here correlates to the times in my life I’ve either had problems or simply not had much going on.

Secondly and more importantly, the more rounded and complete ones life is, the less one wants to humiliate and belittle others. ESPECIALLY on an online anonymous forum. Anyone can be the star behind a keyboard. Doing so just sends a message that A/ things aren’t going too well for you and you’re upset and B/ you’re using an online forum for this activity as it’s the only place in life you can get away with it.

So experience has taught me the most aggressive “gurus” were most likely completely unsuccessful and unhappy. Happy and complete men have no need to fight and belittle.
 
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