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What's really happening with this girl and what to do now?

Don Johnny

New Member
Nov 7, 2013
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Hi fellas I need both opinions and different perspectives on what is happening here and advice on what to do now.

Ok, so I'm in college and around two weeks ago I finished my class and walked out to smoke a cig. It was raining so I stayed inside but saw this really cute girl from my class, she's from another country and is doing his last year at a university here, so she's new this year, and before that day I had just seen her like twice in class but we hadn't talked at all.

Ok so she was smoking outside and getting wet and so I just opened the door and told her: I think we can smoke inside. And so we started talking: where are you from? what bad words do you know in my language?...

There was strong eye contact, I was making her laugh,... and then out of the blue she asked me my name. I just told her my first name and asked for hers.
We said goodbye after having talked for like 20 mins total cause she had class.
Not even an hour later I get home and check my facebook: 1 friend request.
Guess what? It was from her. I was like yes! she wants the D.

Again, I had just told her my FIRST name, not any surname or anything. I also don't have my university posted on facebook neither had we any common friends, So I wondered how she had possibly found me and took it as a super big sign of interest.
I of course accepted the request but played it cool and didn't message her on fb for that whole week.
Oh by the way, when we were talking that first day she told me: I think we just have one class in common, so I also took that as another good sign, she had noticed me before I had even talked to her.

So I go to class the week after that and she's there. When the class finishes I walk up to her (to show interest) and tell her: hey! how did you find me on facebook? you're a little stalker. Obviously joking and she laughed.
She said: I saw your surname when you did the presentation (for that subject we are split in groups and each group makes a powert point slideshow, and so she told me she had seen my surname when my group and I presented, but still, that was like two weeks before we talked for the first time and she added me on facebook, so she remembered my surname).

We went outside the classroom, smoked a cig with some people from our class, then they all left and It was just her and me there, so it should be painfully obvious to her that I was interested too, and that's how I wanted it to be.
It was also pretty cold and so I took off my coat and gave it to her. She didn't say no. She put it on.

We smoked another cigarette and she started telling me about her apartment (it's a students apartment) complaining about how her room was so small... and told me about her roommates, one in particular is important in this story, she just said "oh and I have also a roomate from here (my country) but from another city". They are all foreigners there except for him.

She also told me that she was going back home for the weekend to see his family and friends. She didn't mention a boyfriend so I took it as a super good sign.
I asked for her number. We talked for a bit more. She had class so we went our separate ways.
We texted that very afternoon playfully, I called her stalker and she laughed... It was going well.
I saw her the other day after her trip and we obviously talked a lot after class. as always, I was really playfull, making fun of her accent (in a good way), she laughed a lot, strong eye contact,....
I saw her today and from the texts I'd been getting from her and the vibes she was giving me I was sure that it was gonna happen today and I was determined to make a move.
I go out of class, wait for her, we smoke, everybody leaves and so I saw my chance and told her: you know what? I really need a beer, Are you up for it? (kind of an "unplanned" date) She said: ok, let's go (I think the fact that she wanted to come drink with me was also a really good sign) (By the way, This is Europe and so drinking is legal from 18)
We went to a bar close to the university and we ordered. We were talking for a while having a good time and then out of the blue she asks me:
-Hey, do you have a girlfriend?
and I said :
-Not at the moment
She kinda giggled and repeated:"not at the moment"(probably thinking: what a douchy answer)
(I was super happy cause I know that question's a very good sign that she's interested, and so I asked her back, expecting of course a no/ me neither:
- And you? Do you have a boyfriend?
And she just nodded her head but pulling the face she always pulls when she jokes with me, like an overexaggerated serious face, and I asked , someone from your country? and she said no, from here, and I said: Your roommate from here? and she said yes. So it was the fvcking roomate which I hadn't worried about at all cause I had seen his facebook pictures and he looked gay-ish and not good looking at all honestly.

Ok sorry about the long and probably confusing story, but my questions come here:

Well, first of all, I'm 100% sure that she likes me. I'm telling you guys, I can always tell when it's there and it fvcking is! The way she looks at me and behaves around me. she flirts. She likes me, that's not in doubt.

So, now:

Why wouldn't she mention that this roommate was his boyfriend when we first talked about him? And she didn't just say where he was from, she told me what his soccer team was and something else but the word boyfriend NEVER came out of her mouth. A girl that's not interested usually tells you really early on so that you don't get your hopes up, but honestly she's been vibing me this whole time.

Could she be just saying that he's her boyfriend just not to appear too available and make me more interested in her? (Playing hard to get) I really hope so

The thing is that she met him like two months before she MET me so maybe they started out before we met and she likes me more than him, but had to say yes cause I would find out anyway, as we live in the same city, so she didn't wanna lie, but wants me to make a move?

I mean why would she ask me if I have a girlfriend if she's not interested at all? (again, SHE ASKED ME FIRST) Then I asked her back and she said yes either not to lie cause he is indeed his boyfriend at the moment or as a "**** test" or a "***** shield" to try me, fuel my desire or to see my reaction when he really isn't his boyfriend?

What do you guys think about this?

And now, what to do?:

I'm honestly sick and tired of playing mind games with girls and ****, so I was thinking of going up to her the next day I see her and just "confronting" her about it, being completely upfront. Something along the lines of:

Look, I'm gonna be brutally honest with you. You're cute. You asked me If I had a girlfriend and I told you I don't right now. You told me you do have a boyfriend but I see the way you look at me, the way you behave around me...I'm sick of playing games with girls and I don't wanna waste my time, I know you like me... (I don't know how to end it though. SUGGESTIONS)
(I was thinking of saying there something like "you know you like me" haha but that might be a little too conceited)

Then if she says no, i just wanna be friends or something I would say:
Oh, you know, it's my fault, I thought we had something.

Another thing I could do is to tell her: "hey the beers the other day were fun!
Do you want to have dinner with me this week? Yes, It's a date" being overly upfront but if she says yes it's done.

Maybe another approach could be just going for the kiss when I'm chilling with her, but that one's a bit too extreme since she said she does have a boyfriend even though it might just be bull**** to test me.

And please don't tell me to just move on. I of course will, and pretty soon if nothing comes out of this but I don't wanna be friendzoned without having actually tried. I have absolutely nothing to lose.
And no morals at all haha. I don't give a fvck about breaking a couple.
I go for what I want.

So guys, please, answers, perspectives, opinions, suggestions on what I should do to get her, other ways you can think of...
What do you think would be the thing with the highest chance of success for me to do?

Thanks a lot really
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Don Juan
Oct 4, 2013
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Let me ask you some questions. Answer them truthfully and you will have your answer.

How many plates are you spinning currently other than her?
How many FWB have you got other than her?
Are you ready to lose her?-meaning seeing her in another guys arms and not care.

One thing I have learnt, with girls actions speak louder than words and the least effort you put it, the easier it gets. If I was in your shoes, I wouldn't worry if she has bf, or if she's interested or what she thinks about me. I would flirt a little and ask her out to hang out. Then let one thing lead to another. If she flakes, have other plans to fall back on. Don't make a big deal of anything and don't confront her.


Don Juan
Jun 1, 2012
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First off, paragraphs are your best friend. You can't expect many people to read that wall of text, honestly, I can't believe I did.

Now to some advice. QUIT OVER ANALYZING EVERYTHING. Just because she accepted your Facebook request doesn't mean she wants the D. She's a young lady from a foreign country. You seemed like a nice guy. Why wouldn't she want to be your friend?

Personally, I would cut that "stalker" sh1t out. I don't see her thinking it as being funny, and quite honestly, I could see her getting annoyed by it.

Why would she ask if you had a g/f??? WHY THE FVCK NOT??? She doesn't know you that well. It's small talk. Once again, QUIT OVER ANALYZING.

Your plan to "confront" her is dumb. Don't do it, it wreaks of desperation. It's AFC. It's everything you don't want to do. It's a product of your ego being hurt. Just let it go.

"I don't want to be friendzoned" News flash buddy. You already are. A girl will make it painfully obvious if she wants to be with you. This doesn't seem like the case.

My advice, get some social proof. You're at college. Let her SEE you hang out with 9's and 10's. Let her SEE you in action. Show her why you're so much better than her b/f.


Don Juan
Aug 19, 2013
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I'm giving advice I say don't confront her about the boyfriend issue keep playing dumb like you didn't hear it. Try to escalate when you both smoking cigarettes try to hug her bring her closer complain its cold.

Then see how she acts if she's really willing you sound like you know what to do. Then I think you should give her a little cold approach but don't make it to obvious I don't know if you want a relationship with her but my advice is to bang then see what happens.


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Greasy Pig

Master Don Juan
Dec 22, 2009
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She's getting off on the attention. She gets validated by you and then goes and sucks her roommate's c0ck.
You're in the friend zone at this point so next time you get her alone, you must escalate via kino and then go for the kiss. Don't waste time on anything else.