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What to do when your girlfriend starts losing interest in you?

Lookatu

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Ive been with my girlfriend for 5 years now and she is starting to act like she doesnt care what I do anymore.

Is there anything I can do to get her interest back in me?
First ask yourself why you've been with her this long and was it/is it for the right reasons?

Then ask yourself what is the end goal with her?

In ltr's, guys can get complacent, lazy, comfortable. These are all comforting things people can easily fall into and not really think about. There is that security aspect for some as well. However, the flipside is you no longer remain desirable as you let yourself go or do stuff that you didn't before or quit doing stuff that attracted her to you in the first place.

All this boils down to is are you right for her and is she right for you? If so, do both of you know about it or have discussed it?

Don't stay together just because you have a kid together or that she's making your life easy by paying 1/2 the rent and maybe doing other domesticated duties for you. That's not a good reason.
 

bat soup

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I think when you get to this point, the best thing is just to end it. It's not worth salvaging. Surely after 5 years you're starting to get bored of her anyway. Take advantage of the opportunity to boot her out, be free for a while and then find someone else that treats you the way you expect.
 

Maximus Optimus

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Ive noticed in the past week that she gets disgusted by things that I do that she didnt used to be disgusted by. I forgot to mention that 2 weeks ago she has told me to pull out during sex instead of going in her. Thats unusual for her. She has become really disagreeable this month as well. Have any of you experienced this before where your woman becomes grossed out by you? Thats the best way I can describe it. Why would she be feeling that way?
 

Barrister

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@Lookatu had a great response earlier this thread.

I can say that this just happened in my last LTR at about the 6-7 month mark. I ended up hanging on for another 2 years in a relationship that was a constant source of irritation to me by employing dread game off and on. It kept her being worried about losing me but overall did not ever get the relationship back to the honeymoon phase levels of investment on her part. It also did not stop her bad behaviors.

My advice and maybe I’m a bit jaded: eject now. In any relationship the person who cares the least has all the power. She cares less than you right now — this is clear. By staying, you are completely at her mercy. Sure, you can use dread game to tip the scales just a bit, but it gets exhausting. I would simply exit.
 

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manfrombelow

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Anyway, this is the case I would deploy what guys here call "Pre-Emptive Breakup" aka dump her FIRST.

Only two outcomes happen:

1/ This ignites her anxiety to make her want to come back and fix things with you, in which case you'll regain your power back.

2/ This does nothing because she doesn't give a damn, which is good because she'd dump you anyway.
 

Focal core

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Guys I have a major problem in all of this. Me and her live together and I have a 7 year old son. She takes great care of him and I dont know how I would work and have time cook, to pick him up from school etc. If I dump her then how would I find a new place to live so fast? I have all of my stuff and my sons stuff here.
Dont live in that house anymore, the more you wait the more you will conditioned living in loveless relationship, it as well bad for your child. Get a cheap apartment, move out.
 

manfrombelow

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Ive noticed in the past week that she gets disgusted by things that I do that she didnt used to be disgusted by. I forgot to mention that 2 weeks ago she has told me to pull out during sex instead of going in her. Thats unusual for her. She has become really disagreeable this month as well. Have any of you experienced this before where your woman becomes grossed out by you? Thats the best way I can describe it. Why would she be feeling that way?
It's because she literally feel disgusted by you cumming into her aka she does not see you as worthy to have offsprings with - which is bad, on an instinctual level.

And it's only a matter of time before she stops having sex with you completely and find some other guy to be penetrated - both mentally and physically.

I'd pull out immediately if I were you, not only out of her pvssy but also out of this rotten relationship.
 

LARaiders85

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Ive noticed in the past week that she gets disgusted by things that I do that she didnt used to be disgusted by. I forgot to mention that 2 weeks ago she has told me to pull out during sex instead of going in her. Thats unusual for her. She has become really disagreeable this month as well. Have any of you experienced this before where your woman becomes grossed out by you? Thats the best way I can describe it. Why would she be feeling that way?
Classic sign of catastrophic loss of interest.

Did you gain weight? If not, this relationship is definitely over in her mind.

I agree with EB that she's probably cheating too.
 

LARaiders85

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Signs of loss of interest:

1. Flaking
2. non returned texts and calls
3. lame excuses
4. disrespect (its usually too late by this time)
5. changes in her vocal tone and style
6. mentions other guys she finds cute
7. acts confused when you talk (watch for this one)
8. becomes complicated and analytical with you..
9. insults you in joke form (very very bad sign)
10. no eye contact
11. time limits (watch this one.)
12. negative conversations
 

rart

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Ive noticed in the past week that she gets disgusted by things that I do that she didnt used to be disgusted by. I forgot to mention that 2 weeks ago she has told me to pull out during sex instead of going in her. Thats unusual for her. She has become really disagreeable this month as well. Have any of you experienced this before where your woman becomes grossed out by you? Thats the best way I can describe it. Why would she be feeling that way?

There's no other way, but end this relationship. Do it quick and don't show emption. This woman will not come around for you.
 

Lookatu

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I forgot to mention that 2 weeks ago she has told me to pull out during sex instead of going in her.
Damn I wonder if this would work in reverse and the girl will instantly know you want to break up with her.

Gonna have to try it one of these days..."Babe, I don't wanna cvm inside you anymore..."

But on a serious note, just that act has sealed your impending doom as @LARaiders85 said.
 

Maximus Optimus

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Guys the relationship is definitely over. I havent said anything to her yet except asked her if everything is alright and she said yes. The past few days she has been in the bathroom for like 30 minutes at a time and whenever I go into a room she has been texting and stops texting when I come in. The hardest part now is gonna be to find a place, move me and my son out and now dealing with the fact that I will have no help from anybody to help take care of my son.
 

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Toddz

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Guys the relationship is definitely over. I havent said anything to her yet except asked her if everything is alright and she said yes. The past few days she has been in the bathroom for like 30 minutes at a time and whenever I go into a room she has been texting and stops texting when I come in. The hardest part now is gonna be to find a place, move me and my son out and now dealing with the fact that I will have no help from anybody to help take care of my son.
It's a shame that she doesn't have the maturity to just end things like an adult, but instead is forcing your hand to do so. After 5 years, you would expect to have at least that amount of respect from her. That's how women are though. She wants you to end it so that she doesn't feel guilty about it. Petty and childish on all levels.

Perhaps you can get some help with your son from friends, family, or relatives while you get the living situation sorted out. I'd start searching for a place now before you end it with her, so that when you do end it you are out of there on the same day.
 

Mister_Skinny_Jeanz

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The Preemptive Breakup

He's going to get dumped--guaranteed. He's panicking and trying to rapidly increase IL. Getting all sorts of advice about mystery dates, etc. That stuff works in a healthy and/or new relationship but when the woman is losing interest, the ONLY thing you can do is hit the eject button before she dumps you. This way, it's (usually) a shock and awe move that can really pique her interest. BUT, you need to have pair of brass balls and stick to it. Here's where 99% of all men are too chicken s*it to do it. He needs to talk with her and say, "Hey Sally, damn this is hard, but this just isn't working for me anymore. I think you're an awesome person but I need some time to process how a LTR will fit into my life right now. It's not fair to you that I'm not in this 100%. I need some time to process. I hope you understand." I've done this a few times and had the girl blowing up my phone and doing an about face.

Then, stick to what you said for at least 60-90 days. Chances are you'll meet someone new and/or lose attraction for Sally by then. NO CONTACT IS ALLOWED. Got it? She may not give a s*it, but maybe her hamster will spin too. Either way, you don't care. If after 60-90 days, you want to have a chill date, do it, and it's like hitting the reset button--but SHE must reach out, not you, no matter what. Don't be a p*ssy. Got it?

At least this way you preserve you dignity, manhood, and pride, and know you're the one who ended it, which from a psychological perspective, will help your confidence as you find someone who is a better fit.

BUT, my guess is OP will read this and not do it. 99% don't. So for the guys that asked, there you go. Employ the Preemptive Breakup when you sense it coming and take back your power and dignity.

Be well.

~Dash~

good shxt dash
 

BadBoy89

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We go 50/50 on the rent but the rental agreement is in her name. We are renting a house in Texas.
I‘d worry about this more than any breakup.

Not to play life coach, but if you paying rent at 40 years old with your girlfriend’s name on the lease, you got bigger problems than her telling you to go to hell. At 40, a man should at least own a house or condo, if not 2 or 3. What have you been doing all these years with your money?

A man should not move in with his girlfriend unless he has major assets and he is hiding them or something. There should be no moving in together period. Yet if a man is desperately in love with her, she should move in to his place.

I do ok and I’m still constantly worried about money. Don’t know how you guys can rent at 40.
 

jimwho

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Read every post. What is glaringly sad is her disgust and having you pull out. That is beyond the point of no return.
I couldn't/wouldn't let her touch me ever again. Not even a hand on the shoulder, which she probably wouldn't want
To do anyway. It's over, I wish you good luck in sorting out your new chapter. Happier days are on the horizon.
 
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