10 Essential Flirting Moves You Must Know
How to Create a Deep Connection with a Woman
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what if you're ugly?
- Thread starter rows1
- Start date
well looks do matter for a woman, know matter what dons may tell you but if you have a good personality and some money Don't worry about looks
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"the only risk that u take in life is not taking any risk at all"
( http://i.am/thesource )
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"the only risk that u take in life is not taking any risk at all"
( http://i.am/thesource )
locrian
Don Juan
I have a number of friends who are fat/ugly MF's but I'll be darned they married very nice looking women! They had charisma OOZING out their pores, though.
Just do as they do - display your natural charisma and confidence and you can end up with the hot ones, too!
Make it so...
Just do as they do - display your natural charisma and confidence and you can end up with the hot ones, too!
Make it so...
Poet
Master Don Juan
Looks are only one part of the equation. As someone said once (on this board?) can't remember where "Good looks will get you a lot more auditions with women but after the first few minutes if that's all you got..." U get the idea. Looks are only important for the first few minutes after that U have to open your mouth, speak, have a personality, be funny, confident, charming, have some thoughts & ideas, opinions etc. etc....all that other stuff that women love.....If you have all that, looks don't mean much to a lot of women really. I am no "stud" but my strong points are convo, kino, humor, insight, social skills, smiles, laughter, making people put down their barriers...being a likable guy...
So work on what U got & "keep on keepin on" as Hendrix used to say (before 69' that is). Later, Poet
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Action is all....words don't mean ****.
Trust your instincts & nothing else.
As guys, we love to make fun of women in how they always hold some clothing up and ask, "Do you think I'd look fat in this?" (Answer: A) Oh yeah! You'd be a bloated whale! B) No, of course not ["You're just saying that to make me feel better!"] Of course not honey. ["Liar! You think I'm fat!"] C) Proceed to bang your head against the wall.)
Women spend all day 'putting on their faces' (as if they were born without one). They waste countless hours shopping for the 'perfect' dress, reading countless magazines for 'fashion tips', etc. We make fun of them, mock them for it.
But women are obsessed about beauty because of us. It is our fault. After all, if a woman could cure all of the diseases, compose symphonies, and write literature, we would only remember her for how she looked.
We, on the other hand, are obsessed with our jobs, our status, and our brains. For us, looks usually translates into working out = building our muscles = appearing to have more 'protection power' to the chicks.
Women look much more for 'the complete package' with men. Women would take a less attractive man that can make her feel good, make her laugh, make her FEEL romantic and all those other goodly good feelings women are addicted to then a handsome bloke who doesn't know what he's doing and doesn't know how to make her feel good.
Men are also more discriminating. Girls that don't look good have a very very hard time since looks is what men always screen on.
Being a not as so good looking guy is not a vice. Being a guy with a bad personality IS.
Less attractive guys with great personalities will always have HUGE advantages over attractive guys with bad personalities.
Women may be attracted to you by your looks and give you more auditions, but it is the personality that keeps them.
Nice guys' personalities is that of supplicating, never disagreeing, always going, "Whatever you want dear." Jerks' personalities is that of not caring, always self centered, and always going, "Relationship? That just means sex on a semi-annual basis, right?" Nice Guys are great for relationships, jerks are great for attracting but both lose in the long run.
Guys want good looks. But women want CHARMING, FUNNY, SUCCESSFUL, and INTELLIGENT guys that will sweep them off their feet.
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Pook
"As you think, you shall become."
"Men will be nice when nice guys get laid."
Women spend all day 'putting on their faces' (as if they were born without one). They waste countless hours shopping for the 'perfect' dress, reading countless magazines for 'fashion tips', etc. We make fun of them, mock them for it.
But women are obsessed about beauty because of us. It is our fault. After all, if a woman could cure all of the diseases, compose symphonies, and write literature, we would only remember her for how she looked.
We, on the other hand, are obsessed with our jobs, our status, and our brains. For us, looks usually translates into working out = building our muscles = appearing to have more 'protection power' to the chicks.
Women look much more for 'the complete package' with men. Women would take a less attractive man that can make her feel good, make her laugh, make her FEEL romantic and all those other goodly good feelings women are addicted to then a handsome bloke who doesn't know what he's doing and doesn't know how to make her feel good.
Men are also more discriminating. Girls that don't look good have a very very hard time since looks is what men always screen on.
Being a not as so good looking guy is not a vice. Being a guy with a bad personality IS.
Less attractive guys with great personalities will always have HUGE advantages over attractive guys with bad personalities.
Women may be attracted to you by your looks and give you more auditions, but it is the personality that keeps them.
Nice guys' personalities is that of supplicating, never disagreeing, always going, "Whatever you want dear." Jerks' personalities is that of not caring, always self centered, and always going, "Relationship? That just means sex on a semi-annual basis, right?" Nice Guys are great for relationships, jerks are great for attracting but both lose in the long run.
Guys want good looks. But women want CHARMING, FUNNY, SUCCESSFUL, and INTELLIGENT guys that will sweep them off their feet.
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Pook
"As you think, you shall become."
"Men will be nice when nice guys get laid."
No. Its not the end of the world. What you need (and what most of us need) is some self-improvement. Thankfully, anyone can improve their looks.
Got Acne? Get some over-the-counter skin medication and use it. If neccessary, see a dermatologist.
Skinny? Exercise, lift weights and get on a healthy weight gain diet.
Fat? Excercise, lift weights and get on a healthy weight loss diet.
Bad clothes? Ask your sister or trustworthy female friend for fashion advice.
Bad Hair? Buy better shampoo. Ask trustworthy females what hairstyle would look best on you. Get more frequent haircuts. Ask your barber for hair care advice.
Stink? Deodorant, my friend. Deodorant. Also, find trustworthy female advice on different male colognes.
Bad breath? Breath mints, my friend. Breath mints. (See a dentist if your bad breath is clinical.)
WARNING: Please don't improve your looks in hopes that women will find you attractive. Your motivation will be short lived.
Instead, improve your looks so that you feel better about your appearance.
Believe me, it makes a world of difference in your ability to stick with the program.
Afterwards you will feel more confident in an area of your life that beforehand you were insecure about. However, you still won't look like a Hollywood hunk or NFL superstar. You will still get rejected for your looks ...often. That's why its important to still remain realistic and appreciate the REAL WOMEN who are wise enough to give you a chance.
Thats also why I disagree with Pook. No matter how you slice it, looks will play a major factor in your potential to attract women. While it is true that looks only matter to most women in the short term, you still can't land the starring role without first getting invited to the audition.It is the combination of looks and confidence that attracts.
Rows1, your improved looks will at least signal to women that you respect yourself, and you'll get more auditions that way.
Here's the best part. The sense of accomplishment that comes from your self-improvement will increase your confidence to the level needed to override whatever physical limitations you have left. And you'll pass those auditions, my friend. Thats how your ugly friends ended up with those gorgeous girlfriends. Not only were the girls beautiful, but they were SMART. Ugly or not, they knew a good man when they saw one.
I don't care how ugly you think you are. Improving your looks is THE key to attracting women.
Keeping women? Well, that's where I have to agree with Pook. Ditto his advice in that area.
'Survivor
P.S.: Don't forget to be a little picky. Ugly people have standards too!
[This message has been edited by Survivor (edited 12-03-2000).]
Blue-eyed Devil
Senior Don Juan
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perhaps i'm nuts...maybe i'm losing it...
but, i was sure i responded to this post...(that is, try being a visual don juan with the personality of a tree, see where you get) and now it's gone...what the hell is going on? this is the second time my post was deleted for no apparent reason. my patience is wearing thin...
please tell me i'm wrong...
devil
but, i was sure i responded to this post...(that is, try being a visual don juan with the personality of a tree, see where you get) and now it's gone...what the hell is going on? this is the second time my post was deleted for no apparent reason. my patience is wearing thin...
please tell me i'm wrong...
devil
u guys are all like I'M the one with the problem, lol. i was just wondering, cuz i know i don't have a problem attracting girls. i had to turn down this one annoying girl 3 times before she got a hint. but i was just looking to see all your opinions. and from what u guys have listed. there are things i CAN improve on
Devlar
Senior Don Juan
Guy, if you got the personality, your far better off than someone that looks good but still has personality problems *self-point*
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Devlar
Remember its hard to be a gentileman, but that doesn't mean it's not fun
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Devlar
Remember its hard to be a gentileman, but that doesn't mean it's not fun
Don the Legend
Master Don Juan
For all those who have posts, am I too good looking or ugly.
Bump!
Bump!
maranathaman
Master Don Juan
Just to add my little spin to what's already been said.
Yes, no matter what bullcrap women say, LOOKS DO MATTER TO WOMEN!!
If you don't believe me, just read some of their ads on Yahoo! personals. 99.999% of them say outright that they will not answer without a picture.
However, even if you are not a prettyboy, all is not lost! For one thing, one gurlz' dog, is another gurlz Hunk. I had a friend that didn't have a job, lived with his parents, was overweight, yet I've seen sevral cute girls come-on to him, because he has a charming personality and a good sense of humor and he's cute in his own unique way. Every girl has her own criteria for what makes a guy attractive to her. Also, a girl may not find you attractive at first, but if there's some other quality about you that endears her to you, she can warm-up to the idea of being with you. When I was 16, I was the youngest member of a Motorcycle Gang in SanJose, called "The Wednesday Nighters". I met a fox and asked her out. She turned me down, but then when she found out I had a nice Chopper, she accepted. So use whatever you can to your advantage! If you play the Guitar, use that! If you are good at Sports, use that! Also, make the best of what you got. I dated a girl who wasn't that great looking, but she wore sexy clothes, kept her body in good shape etc. She made the best of what she got, and that impressed me!
Finally, as was said earlier, I HAVE seen guys that I would consider ugly, with totally GORGEOUS wives/girlfriends. So women don't always have the same stereotypes of what constitutes a worthy mate, that men have. So make the best of what you got and go for it!
P.S. (This is MOST IMPORTANT)
It's been said on this site that "KINO" is a good technique. Well, I'm here to tell ya that KINO maybe THE MOST Powerful weapon in a dj's arsonal! I have noticed time and again especially lately that women LOVE to be touched, and they will often reciprocate your advances this way. Guys tend to get turned-on quickly just by looking at a girl, whereas women usually need more warming-up. They also are alot more sensual creatures than we often realize! Try it as an experiment! Find some hottie, start talking to her/flirting with her, and as you do, touch her in a subtle way. You'll see I'm right!
~Andy
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"Before you sign a new act, find out if they are wack!"
Yes, no matter what bullcrap women say, LOOKS DO MATTER TO WOMEN!!
If you don't believe me, just read some of their ads on Yahoo! personals. 99.999% of them say outright that they will not answer without a picture.
However, even if you are not a prettyboy, all is not lost! For one thing, one gurlz' dog, is another gurlz Hunk. I had a friend that didn't have a job, lived with his parents, was overweight, yet I've seen sevral cute girls come-on to him, because he has a charming personality and a good sense of humor and he's cute in his own unique way. Every girl has her own criteria for what makes a guy attractive to her. Also, a girl may not find you attractive at first, but if there's some other quality about you that endears her to you, she can warm-up to the idea of being with you. When I was 16, I was the youngest member of a Motorcycle Gang in SanJose, called "The Wednesday Nighters". I met a fox and asked her out. She turned me down, but then when she found out I had a nice Chopper, she accepted. So use whatever you can to your advantage! If you play the Guitar, use that! If you are good at Sports, use that! Also, make the best of what you got. I dated a girl who wasn't that great looking, but she wore sexy clothes, kept her body in good shape etc. She made the best of what she got, and that impressed me!
Finally, as was said earlier, I HAVE seen guys that I would consider ugly, with totally GORGEOUS wives/girlfriends. So women don't always have the same stereotypes of what constitutes a worthy mate, that men have. So make the best of what you got and go for it!
P.S. (This is MOST IMPORTANT)
It's been said on this site that "KINO" is a good technique. Well, I'm here to tell ya that KINO maybe THE MOST Powerful weapon in a dj's arsonal! I have noticed time and again especially lately that women LOVE to be touched, and they will often reciprocate your advances this way. Guys tend to get turned-on quickly just by looking at a girl, whereas women usually need more warming-up. They also are alot more sensual creatures than we often realize! Try it as an experiment! Find some hottie, start talking to her/flirting with her, and as you do, touch her in a subtle way. You'll see I'm right!
~Andy
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"Before you sign a new act, find out if they are wack!"
if you're ugly. be bold. you have nothing to lose. say " i need to get off, wanna help?" say this to every hot girl you see, and after 100 maybe one will help you. this will take only a week hopefully, so you'll get laid by a different girl at least once a week.
imagine how simple it is for guys that are hot shiit.
but seriously, if you're ugly, like any girl is gonna try for you. it's gonna take a lot of guts.
a fat girl can get laid if she tries. but she's gonna have to make the move. no guy is gonna try for her. works the same way for the ugly guy.
imagine how simple it is for guys that are hot shiit.
but seriously, if you're ugly, like any girl is gonna try for you. it's gonna take a lot of guts.
a fat girl can get laid if she tries. but she's gonna have to make the move. no guy is gonna try for her. works the same way for the ugly guy.
From the way you guys talk about fat/ugly chicks and "6 and below"s I think you should just be grateful that girls don't hold you up to the same standards.
There was a really great article at www.askmen.com about Ugly men/beautiful girl relationships you might find interesting.
There was a really great article at www.askmen.com about Ugly men/beautiful girl relationships you might find interesting.
Stop thinking of yourself as ugly and push your good points. You're only dragging yourself down on something you have little control over.
Also be aware that there is someone who fits our mold, is for us - if you're ugly, it just takes a little longer than usual.
Just look at the various looks of famous people who have all sorts of fans, many people dont know what they want until they see it.
A mate of mine isnt good looking but has a girlfriend, she's not a so called 6,7 or 9 but she still is a woman who loves him and him her and they're both happy - which is what counts in the long run.
Also be aware that there is someone who fits our mold, is for us - if you're ugly, it just takes a little longer than usual.
Just look at the various looks of famous people who have all sorts of fans, many people dont know what they want until they see it.
A mate of mine isnt good looking but has a girlfriend, she's not a so called 6,7 or 9 but she still is a woman who loves him and him her and they're both happy - which is what counts in the long run.
looks man put that out of your head and dont even think about if your good looking or not cause i have something to tell you. Yes some girls care alot about looks while others are most personality etc. Ive seen some terribly hot girls for example my one friend. He comes by my work and then finally he came one day with his gf. OMG. she was absolulty gourgous and this kid was just i mean average maybe but just didnt dress decent or nothing and he got her so dont worry bro.
shyguy
shyguy
"From the way you guys talk about fat/ugly chicks and "6 and below"s I think you should just be grateful that girls don't hold you up to the same standards."-MsThang
Now hold up MsThang! Check out this quote from a recent Doc Love article.
More often than not, when a woman has strong feelings for a guy, her Interest Level is high from the get-go. For you Psych majors: she kisses on the first date. Soon after she meets him, she knows that he's "boyfriend material." A different woman might meet the same guy and think he was a total dud. But somehow, this one particular guy rings this gal's bell, and since he does, she lets him know it, both verbally and physically. Why? Because she doesn't want to confuse him, or abuse him. She wants to make him happy.
Notice the phrase that I put in italics. "From the get-go" translates to, "She is physically attracted to him the first time she sees him." Like I said on this thread a year ago, LOOKS MATTER to women in the beginning, dare I say more than they matter to men.
MsThang, most men and women will instinctively have the same physical standards. Most women lust for men that are "tall, dark and handsome". Most men want women with hourglass figures. That's normal.
Don't criticize guys for following their instincts. Thats what "nice guys" need to do more of. And whether you admit it or not, thats excatly what women want us to do.
Think about it. If guys have physical standards that are a little bit different than the actual build of the average female, that means that the female has to work a little harder in order to attract a male.
Translation: Guys with high physical standards (for women AND himself) display CHALLENGE.
What Doc Love describes actually happened to me a few months ago. I was flirting with about 3 other girls at a party, but one of the girls I wasn't trying to impress started giving buying signals. SHE CHOSE ME. I recognized the signals and approached her agressively. We've been dating ever since.
So you see MsThang, you should'nt concern yourself with what our physical standards are. Why? Because our standards don't count.
You, as a woman, have the only say as to whether or not a guy will get lucky.
You have an advantage because you can chose what man you want to be involved with. Guys don't have that luxury. We unfortunately have to play the numbers game in order to find a mate with High IL.
The fact that women can bypass a guys ugliness is wonderful, and I admire that about women. But don't think for a moment that a man isn't capable of the same thing.
MsThang, you need to be glad that we judge women by their looks. Yes, we do begin to look at the complete woman when we become older and wiser. But for the most part, looks is important to us.
Woe unto women when men start judging them by CHARACTER and NOT looks. You would be forced to become the agressor, Ms Thang, and your luxury of being able to use nice guys for an ego boost will be long gone. In fact alot of 10s would become 1s rather quickly.
Not trying to hate, just expressing my point of view.
[This message has been edited by Survivor (edited 10-05-2001).]
Now hold up MsThang! Check out this quote from a recent Doc Love article.
More often than not, when a woman has strong feelings for a guy, her Interest Level is high from the get-go. For you Psych majors: she kisses on the first date. Soon after she meets him, she knows that he's "boyfriend material." A different woman might meet the same guy and think he was a total dud. But somehow, this one particular guy rings this gal's bell, and since he does, she lets him know it, both verbally and physically. Why? Because she doesn't want to confuse him, or abuse him. She wants to make him happy.
Notice the phrase that I put in italics. "From the get-go" translates to, "She is physically attracted to him the first time she sees him." Like I said on this thread a year ago, LOOKS MATTER to women in the beginning, dare I say more than they matter to men.
MsThang, most men and women will instinctively have the same physical standards. Most women lust for men that are "tall, dark and handsome". Most men want women with hourglass figures. That's normal.
Don't criticize guys for following their instincts. Thats what "nice guys" need to do more of. And whether you admit it or not, thats excatly what women want us to do.
Think about it. If guys have physical standards that are a little bit different than the actual build of the average female, that means that the female has to work a little harder in order to attract a male.
Translation: Guys with high physical standards (for women AND himself) display CHALLENGE.
What Doc Love describes actually happened to me a few months ago. I was flirting with about 3 other girls at a party, but one of the girls I wasn't trying to impress started giving buying signals. SHE CHOSE ME. I recognized the signals and approached her agressively. We've been dating ever since.
So you see MsThang, you should'nt concern yourself with what our physical standards are. Why? Because our standards don't count.
You, as a woman, have the only say as to whether or not a guy will get lucky.
You have an advantage because you can chose what man you want to be involved with. Guys don't have that luxury. We unfortunately have to play the numbers game in order to find a mate with High IL.
The fact that women can bypass a guys ugliness is wonderful, and I admire that about women. But don't think for a moment that a man isn't capable of the same thing.
MsThang, you need to be glad that we judge women by their looks. Yes, we do begin to look at the complete woman when we become older and wiser. But for the most part, looks is important to us.
Woe unto women when men start judging them by CHARACTER and NOT looks. You would be forced to become the agressor, Ms Thang, and your luxury of being able to use nice guys for an ego boost will be long gone. In fact alot of 10s would become 1s rather quickly.
Not trying to hate, just expressing my point of view.
[This message has been edited by Survivor (edited 10-05-2001).]
318 Most Hated
Don Juan
up this topic...
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The Most Hated in Louisiana and the whole dirty south........
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The Most Hated in Louisiana and the whole dirty south........
