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What exactly is quiet confidence?

Fatality

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I've been hearing things about this but I really don't understand what it is? Can somebody explain it please?
 

Eternal

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Moved to Don Juan Discussion.
 

biker_gixxer

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I would have to say that Richard Geere (hope i spelled that right) in Pretty Woman is a good example of quiet confidence. What do you guys think?
 

Fatality

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Originally posted by biker_gixxer
I would have to say that Richard Geere (hope i spelled that right) in Pretty Woman is a good example of quiet confidence. What do you guys think?
Wasn't he pretty talkative in that movie? Haven't seen it in years.
 

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biker_gixxer

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Originally posted by Fatality
Wasn't he pretty talkative in that movie? Haven't seen it in years.
I don't know bro, he came off as the 'quiet' type to me. Didn't say much, kept cool, calm etc.
 

Yotsuya-san

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I'd say that quiet confidence lies in not simply being the strong silent type but being strong and confident without coming off as if you're trying to be larger than life. Just a regular guy going on about his buisness. You eschew style over substance. One of my current favorite anime characters, Master Keaton is like this. He is supersmart but he comes off as a mild mannered scholar and an all around regular decent guy without all the usual character quirks.

You don't see a lot appreciation of quiet confidence today. Quiet anything is generally passed over as being dull and boring. Seems like people like quirks, eccentricities, and idiosyncracies that "spice up" a personality. So much that many actually cultivate quirks and idiosyncracies just for their own sake. The problem is when a person gets noted more for these than his actual competence. This can come as a liability, even if he's good at whatever he does.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Antonio Banderas in "Desperado." Walking into a room with the body language and attitude that spoke of confidence without saying a single word.

It goes along with what I say about DJs not ever having to prove anything, they let their actions speak for them-self. No boasting necessary.

Again I have to quote a sig of someone from this forum but I can't remember who. It speaks volumes to this:

"Walk in like you don't care who owns the place..."

Now thats quiet confidence. ;)
 

Jariel

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I think of it as knowing your greatness without needing to prove it.

People who have quiet confidence often carry an air of mystery. Their demeanour and attitude tells you they have a lot going for them, but they never tell you what it is.
 

Shiftkey

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Don't follow movies if you want an example of confidence.

The reactions of the other characters are scripted. A seemingly confident action by your hero might not seem very confident in the real world. Keep in mind that AFCs are so common because most guys copy what they see on screen.

Quiet confidence is carrying yourself with good posture, not looking around everywhere like you're being stalked, and only speaking when necessary. You know you're a great guy and don't care about other people's opinion of you; because even if it's a negative one, they'd be wrong.
 

A-Unit

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Some input.

Quiet confidence is not caring about confidence. It's not seeking it as a goal. Confidence is a means, a way of life, an end.

It's being centered. Not needing anything. You spirit isn't thrown out of balance over money, women, image, or cars.

It's keeping the EGO in check and going for what truly makes you happy. I.e. the girl who treats you better, rather than the girl who looks better.

It's keeping yourself in check. Not trying to dominate another person, not trying to one-up them. Nobody likes perfectionist braggerts.

It's knowing that you don't, and won't, know everything. But could learn anything, and can find the answer if need be. I.e. Henry Ford.

It's realizing that nobody is perfect and being able to laugh at life. The guy who laughs over mishaps rather than overreacts to them is more centered. He doesn't lose needless energy on meaningless, short-term trivialities.

It's not leaning in on someone emotionally. It's self-control of inner spirit. You don't need anything. You want things, and when you get them, they're on your terms. When things aren't on your terms, and aren't in accordance with our true inner feelings, it sucks the energy from within, making it harder to perform others functions and causes us to drain off others.



Let the guys who chime in here reveal the truth behind it. In all cases where I remained within myself and realized something was not worth the drain of energy and life it took, I felt better. In addition, when a woman put me in a position to desire aggressive action, I backed off. I wasn't going to fall into it as if I needed it, or as if I'd take action to defend myself. Both cases represent a disease of the ego to protect itself, as if the slings and arrows of normal life could damage it.

Confidence doesn't require a confirmation of outside acceptance. "Social proof" isn't needed, and even when the time comes you get it, you don't care anyway. All you have is all you need, and you will get in time what you're willing to pay for through hard work.



Anything that can be acquired, can be lost.

Don't aim to ACQUIRE confidence, for then it can be lost. If you base it on such things as image (ego), these thing detriorate, fail, breakdown, are lost, and so forth.

Money comes and goes.
Friends come and go.
Looks come and go.
Talent comes and goes.

I recall watching an expose on Playmates and what happens after their time is up. IF a girl is spectacular enough to reach the upper echelon of beauty, then she is amongst one of the tops in the world. She gets a fat deal and access to the playboy mansion insofaras she remains respectable. However, they sign iron-clad contracts, and as naive girls, they think it's ok. Down the road, they can be bound to prevented from doing certain modeling gigs because the rights are owned by Hugh. So their main asset becomes a liablity because they have...

-no education.
-no control over their contracts or pictures.
-fixed money.

Not that it's bad, but the few girls who make it tops, THEN have to acceed to modeling. Some go to porn and get booted from the Playboy mansion for life. Most don't get acting jobs because it's not respectable enough (Carmen, and Anderson were the flukes). Granted they get access and lifestyle unparalleled, but so do many lottery winners and most lottery winners end up worse off than they started (over 85% end up Bankrupt).

This only demonstrates how need and intangible, fleeting factors of confidence kill the person.

Bottom-line...if your using proofs outside yourself for confidence, your losing the confidence factor.



A-Unit
 

LikRetsam

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Quiet confidence is real confidence. It's not needing to flaunt it.
 

icecreaman

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My man Indiana Jones had some real quiet confidence. He just adapts to every situation.
 

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Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by icecreaman
My man Indiana Jones had some real quiet confidence. He just adapts to every situation.
I was going to say Indy however one word came to mind and made me think otherwise, "snakes." It's not as if he can't handle them, just that he handles them just when he has to.
 

Alpine

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I would say it's just the knowing whatever comes along you feel you can handle it. And that knowledge just leaks out in your demeanour.
 

Yotsuya-san

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If we gotta keep mentioning fictional characters, it's worth noting that the best examples of quiet confidence come not from the main character hero, but one of his buddies. Good examples are Chief O' Brien from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. And Wedge Antilles from Star Wars. And Dr. Watson of Sherlock Holmes fame. It's being the guy no one really takes a second look at. The nobody guy. The hero's buddy that never gets the girl or the glory. But he doesn't care. He's only concerned with doing what he does best and that's being the reliable sidekick. This is the guy who always has to get the ****y hero out of his own mess.

To put it another way, because they are not loud,agressive, and flamboyant about their skills and acheivements, the ones with quiet confidence typically deserve more recognition than they actually get. But they are the last ones to complain about it.
 
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