What are the BIG cheating signs to look out for that you have experienced from a cheating woman?

[stringpuller]

Significant changes in behavior

In various forms

 

[HaleyBaron]

I agree but I dont see to many of these in my circles. Working people.
Maybe so in other more poor people I dont know

I see it closer to my hobby circles. Got couples who do the whole poly thing openly to mask over the fact neither want to be with the other anymore. A passive aggressive stance in cheating. That Will Smith - Jada energy.

 

[Barrister]

Typically, all of the bad behavior can really boil down to a loss of respect she has for the man. If she starts giving you the “I don’t give a sh1t how you feel” vibe over anything for a long period of time (short term can be hormonal), you have a problem. It is going to blossom into cheating eventually. It’s just a matter of when and where it occurs and what other men she has access to at the time. In this case, a preemptive breakup is your best bet.

 

[LARaiders85]

In various forms

Yes, even some positive changes. The "kiss of death".

 

[stringpuller]

Yes, even some positive changes. The "kiss of death".

 

[jnMissouri]

1. Avoiding family gatherings and other functions that are important to you that she would always attended before.
2. Immediately putting her phone down when you walk into the room.
3. Being ok with you talking to other girls. 4. Ok with you going out with out her more than before.
5. She starts hanging out at new places she never went to before. They will likely be out of the way or won't make much sense.

By the time she cheats she will have been planning for quite a while.

Yeah, I recently threw mine on the bed when she walked in. She had just confronted me about something a couple days earlier at that, waiting until she was in person with me back in town to question me about it. Then two days later I throw the phone on the bed when she walks in. She knew, so she laid horizontally right next to it, she has never laid like that on the bed before, and it was the middle of the day. No reason to suddenly lay like that. She laid with her face riiiight next to it. I immediately get on top of her and start kissing her, moving her away, and I could tell by her reaction she KNEW I didn't want her to see the notification that was about to come in (the girl I was seeing and texting usually responds right away).

Sigh. I kinda mucked up my relationship. It was falling apart and I strayed. I wish I would have just ended it and stayed friends instead of cheating.

 

[jnMissouri]

Typically, all of the bad behavior can really boil down to a loss of respect she has for the man. If she starts giving you the “I don’t give a sh1t how you feel” vibe over anything for a long period of time (short term can be hormonal), you have a problem. It is going to blossom into cheating eventually. It’s just a matter of when and where it occurs and what other men she has access to at the time. In this case, a preemptive breakup is your best bet.

Quoted for ABSOLUTE TRUTH!!!! This is truly the BEST sign of an UPCOMING cheating.

 

[s74rk]

Great thread, you guys really got the most important points out. I'll re-iterate and bring up some other specifics, having been experienced on both sides of this unfortunately.

- Intimacy (sex).
If this starts drying up, and/or the quality starts going down significantly, she doesn't seem excited like she used to, it's becoming incredibly hard to initiate, etc, then this is a huge sign. There's a saying, "a woman can only serve 1 master" and it's generally true. Changes in intimacy patterns are huge.
As a quick aside in case anyone forgets, pay attention to monthly cycles too. It's OK if you're not jumping into bed while she's bleeding. Just figure out what your overall pattern is/was when things were good, and see that it's still up to par.

- Phone sketchiness.
Again, change of pattern. If she starts hiding notifications but she never did that before? It's a wrap. If he's hiding texts from you, and she gets defensive when you ask about who she's chatting with? It's a wrap. If she was always sketchy with her phone from the get-go, well, then you messed up by not vetting this behavior within the first few months and dropping her before getting invested.

- Crossing boundaries.
Hopefully at some point in your relationship you've established some basic behavior boundaries; maybe not super explicitly, but you've discussed e.g. 'someone in a relationship doesn't go clubbing without their partner'. Well if these boundaries are being crossed, that's really bad. If she asks you if it's ok to do X, you say no, but she does it anyway, same deal - that's over.

- General negative energy and starting small fights out of nowhere she wouldn't used to.
This falls under the umbrella of "I'm acting out and want you to just break up with me." Of course sometimes there are things to be brought up and resolved in a relationship, but I'm talking about the general patterns and habits. Negative energy can also mean excessive guilt and sadness on her part that seemingly comes out of nowhere.

- When you are providing resources.
This isn't a specific action, but IMO falls under the category of risk factors. Here's the thing, if you're two young-ish people dating and having a good time, a chick really doesn't need to stay with you if she's not feeling it all of a sudden. She'll make it obvious and/or break up with you. But if you are supporting her financially in some way, have a big class disparity (you make 6 figures and treat her well, she's from the ghetto), live together, or have a kid together... Then you need to understand that she's very incentivized to hide her wrongdoings.
I'm not saying that being a provider later on in a relationship is going to make you get cheated on. I'm saying that dudes who take on a provider role are more likely to run into devious behavior where the chick will make more effort to hide what she's up to, so she can keep the status quo of you providing while she screws around. But again, a lot of the same signs will apply and aside from complete psychopaths (less than 1% of the population), there will be cracks and slip-ups and obvious signs.

Hope something here is helpful. Last thing I'll say is that this is one of the hardest and most draining things men will deal with, so if you need to, don't feel bad about taking some time off and chilling, and definitely try and be there for your bros if they ever go through something similar.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

1. When she is constantly worried about you cheating on her, asks who is texting you, asks where you've been and who you are talking to, and is extremely suspicious of other women in your social circle (even if you aren't talking to or hanging out with these women 1:1). Don't make the mistake of thinking she's doing this because she is head over heels for you and is clinging tightly to you. No, she is cheating and because she does it, she projects it onto you.

 

[SW15]

Dokken was great at writing songs about women screwing over men. I have no idea how this is possible since the guys in Dokken probably got a ton of vag as musicians who sold a lot of recordings and had sold out tours. Perhaps Don Dokken or George Lynch had a little bit of one-itis at times and got cheated on.

 

[stringpuller]

Dokken was great at writing songs about women screwing over men. I have no idea how this is possible since the guys in Dokken probably got a ton of vag as musicians who sold a lot of recordings and had sold out tours. Perhaps Don Dokken or George Lynch had a little bit of one-itis at times and got cheated on.

Being them didnt make them any more RP then any of us. They were just good at what they did. I think all of them are divorced at some point.

 

[SW15]

Dokken was great at writing songs about women screwing over men. I have no idea how this is possible since the guys in Dokken probably got a ton of vag as musicians who sold a lot of recordings and had sold out tours. Perhaps Don Dokken or George Lynch had a little bit of one-itis at times and got cheated on.

Being them didnt make them any more RP then any of us. They were just good at what they did. I think all of them are divorced at some point.

The members of Dokken were all Baby Boomers and Boomers tended to get married more frequently. I mentioned this in the ValeriThe Millennial generation has gotten better at avoiding divorces simply by not marrying. However, a larger percentage of Millennials have still followed the outdated (in a secular sense) life script of marriage.

There are a few signs to be on the lookout for but it is usually a combination of these.

1. If the amount of sex you usually have with her has gone down, it means that she is probably cheating as @devilkingx2 said.

2. If she has a new guy friend who doesn't seem to be gay but does seem to be a friend, you may want to pay attention. On its own it might not mean everything but when you consider all else, not a good sign!

3. If she is putting serious effort into how she looks, despite being plain and un-attentive for months on her appearance, she might be looking to get picked up by other dudes. If the relationship was going poorly, she's probably not doing it for you.

4. She acts like a b-tch towards you, does things to piss you off, and is almost telling you by her actions that she wants you to break up with her. It gives her plausible deniability in everything so she can feel less bad about what she did, after all you are the one who broke up with her right? I feel like this is actually the most telling sign when mixed in with others. If she acts like a b-tch on purpose to piss you off and explodes over the most minor arguments, it means that she is trying to get you to leave her.

5. Be on the lookout for her language. As soon as she starts mentioning other guys in front of you, her mind is set on cheating. She is likely thinking about it for sure.

Now there are a few others I failed to mention but I'll say the more important thing here, the value of avoiding a contractual marriage where your finances are on the line. As a guy, always keep yourself sharp, always be your best self, and always have options. I learned this lesson the hard way OP. Always explore and always have a bench ready, women respect men who have options even when they are with them.

1. Avoiding family gatherings and other functions that are important to you that she would always attended before.
2. Immediately putting her phone down when you walk into the room.
3. Being ok with you talking to other girls. 4. Ok with you going out with out her more than before.
5. She starts hanging out at new places she never went to before. They will likely be out of the way or won't make much sense.

By the time she cheats she will have been planning for quite a while.

Yes, these all are good signs to consider if you think she might be cheating. @Jesse Pinkman's advice about having a bench ready is good too. Women usually have a bench ready for a guy to monkey branch to. When both of my male cousins got divorced, it was the woman who filed. In both cases, the women had a guy that they monkey branched to immediately. In one situation, the woman was actively having an affair before the divorce filing. In the other situation, I think the woman was about to cheat but filed for divorce before actually cheating. Though it's possible she cheated as well.

The biggest enemy of marriages and even non-marital relationships is the passage of time. Most romantic relationships have a shelf life. You can extend the shelf life by being more alpha and slowing the typical beta-ization process down. However, even good relationships often lose the passion somewhere around the 5-10 year point for a variety of reasons. This is when cheating often happens.

I've felt strongly about the idea that the shelf life of goodness of most romantic relationships is around 5 years.

 

[Zimbabwe]

If they are the super jealous type and if they had an ex that happened to "cheat" on them

 

[StacksHitEmUp]

They almost all cheat or do sneaky **** at some point. That’s why I don’t invest anymore. Couldn’t give a **** less to be honest. If she gonna cheat, she gonna cheat. I just enjoy the ride and dont get emotionally or financially invested.

 

[stringpuller]

They almost all cheat or do sneaky **** at some point. That’s why I don’t invest anymore. Couldn’t give a **** less to be honest. If she gonna cheat, she gonna cheat. I just enjoy the ride and dont get emotionally or financially invested.

They have perfected the art of getting side dik. Ive had a married plate before and have been told stories from chics gf's,
**** they tell their bf's and husbands to get away that the average BP beta just refuses to believe. NAWALT is a delusion but a nessisary one I suppose for those that need a good slap to wake up.

 

[IKO69]

Their behavior changes; they become more quarrelsome, disruptive, overall harder to deal with it. Suddenly stupid little things that don't matter become a trigger. She'll become brazenly disrespectful. When this happens and there is no logical reason to support it, show her the door immediately.

 

[BadBoy89]

I was at an outdoor festival and a woman, whose business I've been consulting for had a vender booth at the event, so I stopped by, between times when other male friends would come by and she would hug and flirt with them, she would sit down and her BF would fan her because it was hot. DON'T be that weak @ss dude fanning her... Jesus, I wanted b1tch slap this guy until his senses returned.

What if she is sexy and voluptuous and kisses him really really well and every other girl he’s asked out told him to go right to hell.

Still don’t be that guy?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

If they are the super jealous type and if they had an ex that happened to "cheat" on them

"jealous" type will ruin your entire life.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

They have perfected the art of getting side dik. Ive had a married plate before and have been told stories from chics gf's,
**** they tell their bf's and husbands to get away that the average BP beta just refuses to believe. NAWALT is a delusion but a nessisary one I suppose for those that need a good slap to wake up.

What about a married "non beta"? They'll blow out those guys too! One game you didn't realize is they will diminish and try to destroy a dominant man, if that requires, gaslighting, lying, cheating, turning people against him it's fair game.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Suddenly starts making excuses to not spend time with you or becomes "busy".

Flakes on you when she never did before

Sex becomes less and less.

The effort she puts towards you becomes less and less.

Text frequency dramatically declines and stays consistently low.

Text style changes from being upbeat, joking, using lots of emojis to being short, dry and fee if any emojis.