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What are some tips on opening successfully?

jamesfromhouston

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Hey gents. I've been doing more approaches as of late. Really want to get better at real life approaches and see more successes. (OLD was my main way before). A majority of my approaches so far has been challenging, I usually go for something situational but most of the time, I immediately feel a lot of resistance from the girl and then it feels like an uphill battle from there to keep the conversation going. Especially if its a group of girls and it feels even more difficult.

Just wondering if my brothers here can share any tips on opening better.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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All I can say is it's better to just cut your losses if its not going well within the first few moments, even if its not your fault. Just walk away and try again with someone else.
 

characternote

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I pretty much agree with the other two.

If she's unreceptive (uninterested/unattracted/whatever) then it's basically done.

There's all kinds of theoretical advice one could give (and that would have been given if you asked this question 5 years back or so) but it's pointless and mainly marketing bs (infields from the 'pros' show exactly how little control they have in an interaction with a 'no girl')

Unless you are doing something completely off that is causing these reactions (unlikely) then just accept that it's the nature of cold approach. It's a pure numbers game, determined by things like your looks, your location, your age in relation to hers etc etc. A large percentage won't be interested and there's nothing you can do about it
 

2Rocky

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Non Verbal signals al the F-ing way. Eye contact, smile, etc. You do this and she will invite you through her body language to approach and be receptive.
Conversation should focus on something you both are experiencing at that moment. The band, her food, her drink, the crowd, something you/she may have said earlier that the other overheard. I had a woman sitting at a table near me who got a couple crab cakes, and I commented on their size. I'd never spoken to her before and she offered me one...Purely from my nonverbal exchange prior.
 

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Don Dark Horse

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Non Verbal signals al the F-ing way. Eye contact, smile, etc. You do this and she will invite you through her body language to approach and be receptive.
Conversation should focus on something you both are experiencing at that moment. The band, her food, her drink, the crowd, something you/she may have said earlier that the other overheard. I had a woman sitting at a table near me who got a couple crab cakes, and I commented on their size. I'd never spoken to her before and she offered me one...Purely from my nonverbal exchange prior.
This is on point.
 

Zimbabwe

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Try a bunch of different stuff and see what works best for you, i used to do indirect but i always had trouble with it. I got a lot better when i had straight up direct openers, sure most woman would reject and some would just ignore me and walk off (yes it does damage my ego) but you learn to tolerate it.

Even the best players have terrible batting averages, Cold approach is not easy.
 

cola

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Always looking for IOIs, but day game indirect,
Night game direct.

Day game
(I’m not familiar with the area, do you know a good place to xxx) If unclear on IOIs you can definitely look for them now. Hair twirling, pruning, looking at you then down.. if no IOIs don’t continue.

Night game, literally just walk to her and say Hi. She knew exactly how far she would let you get when she saw you walk in.
 

jamesfromhouston

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Thanks bros for all the great answers.

I see a lot of you talk about reading their interest, just some follow up questions:

1) How do you know they're interested? What are the signs you usually read for?

2) Are the signs of interest different in day game as compared to night game?
*My experience in night game so far has been that most girls are usually quite guarded when I approach them, probably because they're hit on all night, any cues of interest are quite hard for me to read.
 

AbaGanov

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Thanks bros for all the great answers.

I see a lot of you talk about reading their interest, just some follow up questions:

1) How do you know they're interested? What are the signs you usually read for?

2) Are the signs of interest different in day game as compared to night game?
*My experience in night game so far has been that most girls are usually quite guarded when I approach them, probably because they're hit on all night, any cues of interest are quite hard for me to read.
1) How do you know they're interested? What are the signs you usually read for?

my #1 sign is that they ask me questions about myself, for example: I ask her where she is from,she reply and ask me where i'm from etc. it won't be 100% since some girls are just terrible in social interactions so if she seems shy I will look for other signs like a smile, eye contact, giving long answers to my questions etc.
 

Atom Smasher

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Most guys are too formal and full of tension when they approach. It doesn’t flow naturally at all. The way I overcame this was to practice friendly banter with strangers every day, with both men and women. This teaches you to interact with an easy style. Less formal.

The thing that undermines most men is Investment. The woman senses that the man is already “all in” even before he opens his mouth. Instead, practice self-amusement, making fun situations for yourself first and for others around you second. I can’t stress how important this skill is. It’s life-changing.

Secondly, always project a vague attitude of superiority over women. Contrary to popular belief, this is a huge turn on. Women everywhere are CRAVING a man who is superior to them, a man they can look up to. They most definitely do not want a man whom they consider their equal.

Learn a few big words and deploy them sparingly but with intent. Tease them for not knowing what the word means. Frequently remind them by implication that you are superior to them. Do it in a fun, self-amusing way.

“That was pretty good…for a girl…”
“Ooh, that must cost you serious points with men.”
“Wow, you just lost a few points there.”
“Come on… you’ve got to be quicker than that.”
“Try to keep up with me.”
“On what planet is that considered cute?”
“Does this quirk run in your family?”

Use stuff like this strategically and with lighthearted amusement; Sort of a twinkle in your eye. Confuse her and make her wonder if you’re joking or serious.

Even if you clearly convey that you’re teasing, she will feel a bit insecure (all women are immensely insecure) and wonder if there’s a grain of truth to what you’re saying.

Mix that with friendliness, politeness, boldness and gentlemanliness. This is a lethal combination. You will cause women to completely obsess about you if you get the formula down.
 

Willie Naylor

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I'm in a relationship now, but as for when I was single, I didn't cold approach women.

Not because I'm arrogant or think I'm James Bond or something...just because, in my own experience, a highly interested girl will come over to me.

If she gives me a strong IOI, I'll walk over to her. But leave cold approaching to others.
 

bat soup

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“That was pretty good…for a girl…”
“Ooh, that must cost you serious points with men.”
“Wow, you just lost a few points there.”
“Come on… you’ve got to be quicker than that.”
“Try to keep up with me.”
“On what planet is that considered cute?”
“Does this quirk run in your family?”
I prefer this one:
- fancy cheese, fancy cheese, fancy cheese
- what?
- now you lost points. You're going to have to do a lot better than that if you want me to bang you.
 

Willie Naylor

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now you lost points. You're going to have to do a lot better than that if you want me to bang you.
Don't be a keyboard jockey. Highly doubt you say that.
 

Willie Naylor

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The only pickup line you need is "Hey, what's your name?"
 

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SW15

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when I was single, I didn't cold approach women.

Not because I'm arrogant or think I'm James Bond or something...just because, in my own experience, a highly interested girl will come over to me.

If she gives me a strong IOI, I'll walk over to her. But leave cold approaching to others.
I still consider starting a conversation with a stranger who has given you an IOI to be a "cold approach".

Yes, it is way better to do approaches with IOIs.

Millennial and Gen Z women are not good at IOIs and signaling. I learned that about 10 years ago with Millennial women. I have gotten way fewer IOIs since smartphone adoption reached a large percentage of the population than I got in the mid-2000s when I was in my early to mid-20s.

I agree on selectively approaching. Even still, I try to look for IOIs to do approaches. I do fewer approaches but can get less harsh blowouts with IOIs.
 
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Velasco

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It's about what you do before you open that is what makes it successful. That is being in the right mood to approach.

When you are in the right mood. Your brain will give you the situational opener.
 

Willie Naylor

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(HB8 drops something on the ground)

DJ: You should let me pick that up for you...along with my jaw, because it just hit the floor for you too.
 
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