I would advise against making promises like this one. Just promise yourself that you will do what feels right and fun in the moment. Sometimes, that will mean you will not ask her out, and that is fine. What counts is that you learn about why you didn't feel right doing so, or why it didn't feel like fun.Yea,I'm definately going to ask her out next time.
Learn what you need to actually enjoy it, and then work to find that.
You can't change your reactions, you can't change your emotions in a moment. It takes time. But in every single moment of your life, you should do what feels right to you, you should do what you want - whether that be kiss the girl that you buddies might think is ugly, or not ask out the beautiful girl you pine for in a situation you don't yet feel right in.
What the crap are you talking about letting us down. If you want to succeed, you are often going to have to do the exact opposite of what many on this board will advise you to do.I'll ask her out on Thursday. I won't let you guys down.
Again, it is extremely unwise to make promises. And in fact, I never feel the need to make promises that I will do whatever it is with a girl. That's because whatever it is I'm going to do... I ACTUALLY REALLY TRULY DEEP DOWN WANT TO DO AND I FEEL COMFORTABLE DOING IT.
Otherwise, I work to find a solution I feel comfortable with. I can see how perhaps on a battlefield I might need to do stuff I don't feel comfortable with and wouldn't be fun. But dating is not a battlefield. It's supposed to be fun! Moreover, you should have self-confidence, self-love, friends, and family such that getting this particular girl or any other is NOT an emergency.
Instead of focusing on doing what I don't feel comfortable doing, I focus on expanding my comfort zone. Big difference.
I know that the guys on here will tell you that "once you do it (replace the word "it" with anything under the sun) one time, you'll realize your fears were stupid and you'll never fear it or perhaps even anything else again."
This works for a select few, and if you suspect it will work for you, it's worth a try. But keep in mind your basic Pavlov here:
If every time you touch a piece of cheese you feel a shock, you're going to go after a different piece of cheese.
If every time you ask a girl out you think to yourself: OH MY GOD SO MUCH ANXIETY OH MY GOD WHAT DO I DO, I FEEL SO TRAPPED I'M SO STUPID, WHY AM I SUCH A COWARD?
That hurts you. You're not going to want to ask a girl out. Unroot the causes of all that negative speak, let your emotions align with your reason and your conscience, and this can all be very comfortable.
Dating should be fun and easy. There is nothing complicated or difficult about it. The hard part is realizing that. So many guys figure "I'm having sex, I couldn't possibly be torturing myself." Oh but they realize later that in many cases, they're wrong. Many people make dating into something awful.
Commit yourself 100% to this: stop any dating behavior that is in any way self-torture. You're not practicing something good, you're not learning, you're not advancing, you're not getting through the hard part. You are simply making a very unfortunate and unhealthy habit. Like any other bad habit, the only way to stop is to stop. Absolutely. As completely as you can, always working to make your stop more and more complete.
Every single aspect of dating should be wonderful, healthy, and uplifting. Not to say you should feel the calmness of a stone. I just mean you should feel a pleasant anxiety, not dread.
I recommend making that realization with friends, family, hobbies, or by improving your knowledge of yourself and women.
I recommend these videos, by the way: