WeIrD BeHaViOuR

[777boy]

Hello,

Have a lot to say but will keep it short....

Well i approached a girl i saw and who i thought was really attractive and got her no. etc

We then met up a few days later and we got along like a HoUsE on FiRe.When we first met she told me she wasnt looking for a relationship though.

However i said i was
and wasnt interested in just being friends.I know she enjoys my company and she said she would go out with me.Now did she agree
just for my company so as not to lose me even though in her mind shes put me in the Friend zone ??

Anyway everything was going fine and then one day she suddenly says she is in Love with me.

Well i told her i felt the same and liked her a lot too.Things were ok that day.

I left on a trip and on returning everything turned weird.When i spoke to her she said she thought we needed time apart!!!!!!!

I didnt even bother asking her why and said fine.....

I refrained from contacting her.Two days later she began calling me repeatedly.I ignored her and did that for a few days.

However i missed her and in the end i spoke to her and she went on about wanting to have me around in her life and so on.....

I told her that was fine but she needed to realise she couldnt behave this way.....

She turned queer again and i decided to call her bluff and agree for us to spend time apart..

What does she say ??? Goodbye

Shocked me........

Then the day after she mess me a love poem..........

Havent replied......

Is she an attention seeker or just messing with my mind ?

She is nice and im confused whether i should pursue her or leave things be.

Cheers

 

[earthshyne]

Red flags all over the place here, my friend. She's not being rational, and / or is trying to play you.

IMHO, save yourself a truckload-full of grief and lose this chick from your life immediately. She may be cute, she may love sex, she may be able to suck a golfball through a garden hose, but the price to be paid is looking pretty high.

 

[Desdinova]

Okay, let's go over what went wrong...

We then met up a few days later and we got along like a HoUsE on FiRe.When we first met she told me she wasnt looking for a relationship though.

However i said i was
and wasnt interested in just being friends.

Here's the first BIG mistake. You cannot jump into a relationship. The relationship has to develope within the time that you date her.

Anyway everything was going fine and then one day she suddenly says she is in Love with me.

Well i told her i felt the same and liked her a lot too.Things were ok that day.

Never tell a woman about your feelings at the very beginning of ANY relationship.

I left on a trip and on returning everything turned weird.When i spoke to her she said she thought we needed time apart!!!!!!!

You jumped the gun too quickly and scared her off.

I didnt even bother asking her why and said fine.....

I told her that was fine but she needed to realise she couldnt behave this way.....

You're not even in a relationship with her, and you're telling her how to behave? Big mistake.

She turned queer again and i decided to call her bluff and agree for us to spend time apart..

What does she say ??? Goodbye

Shocked me........

Doesn't shock me.

Then the day after she mess me a love poem..........

Are you sure she hasn't sent it to 12 other people? Women enjoy crappy emails that is nice and mushy. Doesn't necessarily mean anything.

She is nice and im confused whether i should pursue her or leave things be.

Let her go. Keep this one in mind as a learning experience. The lesson: never expect to start a relationship right off the hop.

 

[777boy]

Thanks guys for the High Speed Replyz..

Desdinova.....

I understand you cant just jump into a relationship but dont girls know that when a guy approaches them
that is their intention anyway? Or at least for most guys......

So whats wrong in telling them straight out that i am looking for a relationship ?

I seem to be making this same mistake over and over and i think im giving a desperate aura ( dont know
if thats the right word to use )

But in this case she said she didnt want a relationship.So if i hadnt put my cards on the table and as it happens we
got along then later when id want more with her she would remind me she never wanted a relationship from before.
This would be even worse for me dont you think....?

Also if you dont tell a girl up front what you want then will she not obviously put you in the friend zone ?

About the love thing.What should i have said ?

I do know i made many errors but i also think she did really enjoy being with me so would these few mistakes turn her off
so easily ?

One last thing...if she calls me again i dont want to keep ignoring her as i feel its a bit childish.I want to give her something to think
about ie how much she is losing out by leaving me etc I want to make a comment which isnt rude but which shows i have a life and make her
start thinking that maybe im the prize and she missing out.

I know someone will have something smart for me to say....

Thanks

 

[Desdinova]

I understand you cant just jump into a relationship but dont girls know that when a guy approaches them
that is their intention anyway?
It's the guy's intention that scares them away. What women are looking for is a man who makes them FEEL like they want to be with him. A man has to attract a woman to him before anything can happen. Saying you want a relationship is like putting a contract in front of a woman. She wants to date a guy because she enjoys being with him, not because she wants a relationship. Women never say what they mean, however their actions will show what's truly going on in her mind.

I seem to be making this same mistake over and over and i think im giving a desperate aura ( dont know
if thats the right word to use )

You've got two things working against you. You're correct about being desperate, but you're also displaying that you're boring.

But in this case she said she didnt want a relationship.

Women can't predict what they're going to end up in. Ever have a woman dump you (or reject you) and say "I'm not really looking for a relationship right now", and then two weeks later she's blabbing about her new boyfriend? If she's attracted to a guy, she's going to end up in some kind of relationship with him, no matter what she says.

So if i hadnt put my cards on the table and as it happens we
got along then later when id want more with her she would remind me she never wanted a relationship from before.

Bull5hit. She wouldn't even remember she said that because she'd be too busy thinking about you.

Also if you dont tell a girl up front what you want then will she not obviously put you in the friend zone ?

No. If you don't display that you're sexually attracted to her, you'll end up in the friend zone. One good way to prevent yourself from ending up in the friend zone is by using kino on her. Kino is a way to show a woman you're not afraid of your sexual attraction toward her without saying a damn word.

About the love thing.What should i have said ?

Say anything that is neutral such as "That's nice". Or you could use ****y/funny and say "already? Are you gonna start stalking me now?"

One last thing...if she calls me again i dont want to keep ignoring her as i feel its a bit childish.I want to give her something to think
about ie how much she is losing out by leaving me etc I want to make a comment which isnt rude but which shows i have a life and make her
start thinking that maybe im the prize and she missing out.

Don't bother trying to recover. It's a lot of work and there's no guarantee that it's going to work. Use this experience to learn from your mistakes so you can be better prepared for the next woman.

 

[777boy]

Desdinova...

Thanks points noted.

One thing i dont understand.You said that i was displaying that i was boring.........??

How did i do that ?

Plus she has been trying to call me again today but i dont want to answer as i dont know what shell say and i dont know what to say......

Shall i respond to her and say something at least......???

Thanks again

 

[Donald Kaufman]

One last thing...if she calls me again i dont want to keep ignoring her as i feel its a bit childish.I want to give her something to think

I assume it is too late but out of the blue explain that you were reading about AWs and how they always seem to live unhappy lives. Don't say you think it applies to her.

Her: Hi, my toaster thinks I should tattoo your name on my face.

You: I think that's a bad idea. Anyhoo ... I was reading an article about drama queens. It says they seem to seek attention a lot. They have few female friends and can't really develop healthy relationships. They don't care about quality when it comes to friends, only quantity. They constantly say extreme and random things. They are completely devoted to one idea one day and another the next. They live in a constant state of fear. They complain they are always being chased by guys and yet they constantly are flirting with the guys who pursue them. Weird huh?

Her: I think we should go ring shopping on Tuesday.

You: 2005 is already pretty booked. Bye.

Her: I think you are becoming too dependent on me.

You: OK bye now.

I'm not sure if I was too subtle but I don't think she is very stable either.

 

[777boy]

Hi there DK,

Sorry for the late response but have been travelling...

Well i did speak to my chick or should i say ex chick :-(

She went on and on about missing me and she went on to say
she really enjoyed my company etc

Alli said was i liked her a lot but i thought we were both looking for different things and maybe it would be better we just called it quits.

She wasnt to pleased about that and said she wanted to be in touch with me.I elaborated that she had behaved in a way not appropriate or becoming of her and i wasnt impressed...

End of conversation...

She then texted me saying she really wanted to keep in touch with me arrrrgggggggghhhhhhhhh

I told her she had treated me wrong and i wasnt interested...

Havent heard from her since...

Had a pain in my gut and still do but i guess had to do it this way!

Cya

 

[Donald Kaufman]

Sorry it had to happen that way.

Hate to end this on a negative so I'll tell you what one of the upsides is. Now that you've gotten to know one of her kind you will be able to spot them quicker next time.

When you read about girls like this it seems it should be so easy to recognize them immediately. It isn't. They usually act in a way that makes them seem more interested than average. They come off as happy, fun, enthusiastic girls who seem to be very interested in you. After you know them for a whle they seem to have a bad day. You want to be a nice guy, not their fault they had a weird day.

They start to throw out mixed signals. You attribute it to the bad time she had/is having and try to give her the benefit of the doubt. She throws around absolutes then completely contradicts herself later. The whole time she is probably minimum using heavy kino.

You start getting weird feedback from either your or her friends or both. You try to get some perspective and you know something is wrong. You talk about it and she cites past bad experiences for continuing bad behaviour. You just keep hearing odder things.

Until you really get a feel for this type, now that you know you have the tendency, the best defence is to realize that becoming too interested too fast is always wrong. It is no matter what but this is a clear recent reminder.

Love at first sight is an idea best suited to suicidal poets.

 

[777boy]

Hey DK one more time,

"Until you really get a feel for this type, now that you know you have the tendency, the best defence is to realize that
becoming too interested too fast is always wrong. It is no matter what but this is a clear recent reminder."

I loved that.......................haha ie the part "now that you know you have the tendency"

I do keep pushing chicks asking for a relationship and i just wish i could chill out.

I dont think i know how to take things slow....

Do you sometimes act disinterested in a chick or what to get her attention???

How do you not get interested so fast ?

Laters

 

[FratAndDiddy]

you went to fast bro !!
you gave her too much to "chew" on too quickly