Walking Away

[BackInTheGame78]

Sounds kinda silly to me. Don't ask questions you don't want answers to. At least she told you the truth. Most women would like to you about it.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If she tells you without asking, "Baby I've slept when 50 guys and you're the best d!ck I've had", what would you do?

I'd be like yeah I always am, it doesn't surprise me.

 

[Pedrito0906]

Ok

 

[member160292]

@Pedrito0906 Hey bud, it seems like you are still somewhat insecure about yourself and relationships. Assuming you aren't trolling, it's somethign you have to work on internally. The good news is that this is the perfect place to start and change that mindset. Stick around and you'll notice some drastic changes.

Don't feel like you're being called out, we're all here to help. It's hard to accept what is being said at first, like leaning the other direction to make a turn on a motorbike.

 

[Pedrito0906]

@Pedrito0906 Hey bud, it seems like you are still somewhat insecure about yourself and relationships. Assuming you aren't trolling, it's somethign you have to work on internally. The good news is that this is the perfect place to start and change that mindset. Stick around and you'll notice some drastic changes.

Don't feel like you're being called out, we're all here to help. It's hard to accept what is being said at first, like leaning the other direction to make a turn on a motorbike.

I know brother, people always see things better on the outside, but when they're inside and when feelings start to get involved its not the same.

I posted my story why I'm like this, but what's done its done and life continues with new teachings.

 

[derby1]

Hey bud, it seems like you are still somewhat insecure about yourself and relationships.

it absolutely amazes me that whenever a man is uncomfortable about some low hanging fruits words(thats what she is)

hes instantly told he needs to work on himself as hes insecure,

women truly play life on easy mode.

OP, patrice O neal said it best. presume every woman you meet has had 3 ****s at once, and if you keep telling yourself it will lose its power over you. he admitted on live radio he gets a bendy erection, and hes fat. he had everyone in hysterics literally he didnt care. god rest his soul

I obviously dont want a woman to tell me, but i presume it. Also most western women are rowdy as hell, theyre nearly all drunks

 

[Pedrito0906]

I obviously dont want a woman to tell me, but i presume it.

I presume it too, but if a woman tells me without asking, it always grosses me.

I was reading about it, some author said that is hardwired in our brain cause we want to make sure that our cavewoman won't leave with another caveman, and that my cavechildren are mine.

That's not to say there is no room for improvement, but going against our nature and biology its not easy.

 

[Bokanovsky]

OP,

Regardless of any argument about how many men is too many men for a woman's notch count (which has been discussed here at SS repeatedly on in other threads), your specific situation seems more than a little insecure on your part. You say you find it repulsive when a woman tells you she has been fu*ked by other men -- but you specifically asked her the question if I am reading what you wrote correctly. That is a little out there. Think if she asked you how many women you slept with, you gave an honest answer, and she immediately nexted you. You would be here asking WTF and we would be telling you she sounded crazy.

Keep in mind that almost every woman over the age of 18 is going to have slept with other men. If you don't want to hear about it (and you shouldn't because it is pointless and looks very insecure to ask) then don't ask.

I am going to disagree with this somewhat.

Yes, adult female virgins are rare these days, but that doesn't means that all or most women out there have notch counts in the double or triple digits. The OP does not have to accept a woman who has had threesomes or has "fvcked guys at the club". That's trashy behaviour, even by today's low standards.

 

[Barrister]

I am going to disagree with this somewhat.

Yes, adult female virgins are rare these days, but that doesn't means that all or most women out there have notch counts in the double or triple digits. The OP does not have to accept a woman who has had threesomes or has "fvcked guys at the club". That's trashy behaviour, even by today's low standards.

He can certainly vet a woman. Not saying he can't do that. But I think he was asking from a place of insecurity more than asking purely for informational purposes. I agree most women have not participated in 3-somes and it would be a red flag to me if she had (and I was considering her for anything more than a ONS). But asking a woman for her body count and then nexting her when she is honest is another story IMO. Unless it was some ridiculous amount -- but the way it was told it seemed like it was "a (undisclosed) number of different guys" which, whether you like it or not, is going to be pretty normal in today's society.

 

[manfrombelow]

I don't get upset or frustrated if I happened to know the girl I'm fvcking had high notch counts.

I'd just downgrade her to fwb/plate aka keep fvcking her without making her potential ltr.

 

[Pandora]

OP you did right. You wanted this girl for a potential LTR and that was an appropriate LTR question to ask.

You have standards. Chicks that have had 3 somes and are not ashamed by it will cause you horrible trouble down the road. I just broke up with my gf tonite over something similar.

It hurts and its sad. But there is no turning a hoe into a housewife. They are who they are. Its tempting to try though.

 

[member160292]

OP you did right. You wanted this girl for a potential LTR and that was an appropriate LTR question to ask.

You have standards. Chicks that have had 3 somes and are not ashamed by it will cause you horrible trouble down the road. I just broke up with my gf tonite over something similar.

It hurts and its sad. But there is no turning a hoe into a housewife. They are who they are. Its tempting to try though.

Thanks for sharing, I was wondering the context of some of your recent posts. Appreciate your insights and hope the best for you brother.

 

[Epimanes]

I remember seeing a meme or tik tok vid..... if 10 hot chick's wanted to bang you, would you say no? Unlikely... .. but if 10 hot guys wanted to bang some chick and she did... that's not ok? What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

What's in the past is in the past. Focus on the now.... not what was then. Judge her by her current actions... not her past.

You can't change the past... only the future.

Epi.

 

[manfrombelow]

OP, you did the right thing. What was best and right for YOU.

It doesn't matter if a woman's high notch count doesn't bother other men or if her participating in 3-somes doesn't bother other men.

Everyone has their own standards and things they are comfortable /uncomfortable with. That's our right as human beings, to develop boundaries and standards that are right for us, as individual beings.

Your discomfort with it doesn't necessarily mean you're insecure, it simply means you have standards for yourself in this regard, and she doesn't meet them, NEXT.

I think it's wrong for others to impose their standards on you, call you insecure whatever. It's unfair. Again everyone has their own way and own style.

I disagree with the notion you shouldn't ask. I think you should ask questions, knowledge is power! And if notch count IS important to YOU, then ok to ask.

Especially in the beginning when determining if someone is the right fit for you.

If you simply want to plate or fvck NSA then OK no need to ask questions but when emotions and feelings are involved (and sorry guys but having deep feelings for a chick is NOT beta or feminine, it's human!) and your goal with her is LTR, it's good and often necessary to ask questions.

Knowledge is power and the more knowledge you have, the better you can determine if she's the right fit for you long term.

Assuming you're looking to long term her and not just NSA plate her.

All that said, I make no judgment with respect to her character or anything else. It doesn't matter.

All that matters is that YOU are uncomfortable with it, period.

There is no right or wrong here, only what YOU are comfortable with, what's best for you.

Sounds good, doesn't work.

If OP's woman did the following stuff:

- Insults him (or his family/parents/beliefs/lifestyle/moral values/boundaries), both verbally or/and physically.
- Fvcks other guys while still in a relationship with him.
- Constantly flakey
- Loses respect for him
- Etc, you get the ideas.
- Murdered people in the past.

then it's totally perfect and logical that OP should walk away.

However, in this particular case, OP got frustrated & angry & emotional over something that's totally out of his control (and none of his business): his woman's notch counts.

Yes, if he's upset about his woman's notch counts, he only had two choices:

1. Remain in the said relationship and shut up about it.
2. Walk away.

Obviously, he chose the latter and still getting frustrated AT THE SAME TIME.

I don't think "high notch counts" is a legit reason to drop a pvssy, if you ask me. It's a stupid reason.

 

[manfrombelow]

@manfrombelow I actually admire that you don't judge women for this. I mean that, I think your mindset about that is refreshing.

Well, thank you, my philosophy (as witnessed by other members here by searching through my older posts) regarding men's personal growth is all about taking full ownership/responsibility/(however you'd like to name it) for his actions/behaviours/mindset before moving on to judging women.

Because let's face it: A woman can be a submissive cute kitten cat to guy A while being the most unbearable b!tchy aggressive annoying to guy B - all based on how each of the two guys shows up in front of her. At least this is 90% of the cases.

 

[manfrombelow]

@manfrombelow

It's an individual choice, no wrong or right.

Sorry, I do not agree with you on this.

Simply because it's a WRONG choice to a man.

We are talking about the fact that OP got intimidated / irritated by the fact that his woman had high notch counts.

See, there are 02 kinds of things that make us intimidated / irritated:

1. The big ones (loved ones die, our homes are burned, kids got kidnapped... etc)
2. The "trivial" ones

Contrary to being a woman, one important & fundamental part of being a man is training himself constantly (both mentally & physically) so that the number of things that intimidate / irritate us become less and less each day, as much as possible, at least the "trivial" ones.

And, to me, the fact that OP's woman had high notch counts can be perfectly categorized as "trivial" ones. Thus he should have not reacted the way he did.

 

[Gamisch]

Speaking personally and as a woman, my being turned off by fvckboys and debauchery is not about being intimidated or even irritated.

It's an emotional reaction and also a logical decision as I explained.

It's simply too risky when seeking LTR and marriage, within which I seek safety and security as well as physical attraction, which I have found after many years searching.

I understand for men it's different, you don't seek safety and security like women do, many men here have admitted they seek purity, at least on some level.

I admit I cannot relate to that, it doesn't sound logical to me given most women 20+ do not possess the purity men desire, but nevertheless men still seek it.

Perhaps they view women with high notch count as a poor investment too, more likely to be unfaithful and disloyal.

I don't know but agree in theory you may be right, it shouldn't matter. People do change and grow after all, I certainly have in many ways.

But how to do you control it, master it? Is the answer as simple as saying to yourself, it's wrong to feel this way?

I don't know, I think when it comes to our emotions about such issues, it's not quite that simple or easy for either men or women.

As a man with a high count myself , I can definitely understand it's a turn off for a woman once she finds out about it.

Contrary to what we men believe, its actually a sign of weakness.

I don't know if agree with you about the" be honest, ask honest " part. I can tell by the storyline alone approximately how many men she must have had.

Maybe I should just up my standard and aim for better women.

I presume it too, but if a woman tells me without asking, it always grosses me.

I was reading about it, some author said that is hardwired in our brain cause we want to make sure that our cavewoman won't leave with another caveman, and that my cavechildren are mine.

That's not to say there is no room for improvement, but going against our nature and biology its not easy.

Tbh a woman never talked to me about her notch count. That in itself imo is a HUGE sign of disrespect. She knows by saying that she's leaving the outcome( at best) up to the Gods . If you tolerate it ,its weak AF anyway.

Maybe it's her way of saying " you a cute guy , but you over- estimate me and we both clearly want different things now".

 

[Pedrito0906]

I appreciate everyone's input. I've been reflecting on this. Since the beginning I knew I didn't want nothing serious, I told her and she was okay.

Then instead of enjoying the moment, having her as a plate, my insecurities of not having many sexual experiences like women have or like "she definitely had", fvcked me over, I've had sex with 17 women 3 of them are LTR and lost my virginity at 17 if that matters for context, I'm 32 but it was my fault, I fvcked up.

Now she's gone, she told me that I will never see her again. I blocked her to not expect any messages from her.

At least I know in what to work on.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

OP if you aren't OK with women pursuing their sexual fantasies I highly suggest you don't ask questions like this of women or else you are going to have constant issues.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Speaking personally and as a woman, my being turned off by fvckboys and debauchery is not about being intimidated or even irritated.

It's an emotional reaction and also a logical decision as I explained.

It's simply too risky when seeking LTR and marriage, within which I seek safety and security as well as physical attraction, which I have found after many years searching.

I understand for men it's different, you don't seek safety and security like women do, many men here have admitted they seek purity, at least on some level.

I admit I cannot relate to that, it doesn't sound logical to me given most women 20+ do not possess the purity men desire, but nevertheless men still seek it.

Perhaps they view women with high notch count as a poor investment too, more likely to be unfaithful and disloyal.

I don't know but agree in theory you may be right, it shouldn't matter. People do change and grow after all, I certainly have in many ways.

But how to do you control it, master it? Is the answer as simple as saying to yourself, it's wrong to feel this way?

I don't know, I think when it comes to our emotions about such issues, it's not quite that simple or easy for either men or women.

This is why as a man you never give them a concrete answer. My standard answer is always "somewhere between 0 and 100" with a smirk and of course they always assume it's the higher number, but I laugh off any further attempts of them asking questions...

Best possible worlds..she automatically assumes you have banged a lot of women, but she doesn't actually know so it drives her crazy trying to figure it out....usually naked right into my bed hahaha