Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Validation and Purpose

nismo-4

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I can't relate, honestly. I don't think this is normal. No, I'm not some hardass, breakups are devastating for me because I attach and lose someone I value, but I just couldn't care less about some other man.
Losing a girl or a job to someone else hurts. Second place is first loser. Sure, we say not to care, but we actually care. Men care about getting girls and getting jobs. Why else do boards like this exist?
 

zekko

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It's like I've pointed out before, there's way too many cartoon characters on this website, operating in an internet cartoon bubble. Every time a guy has a "problem" with women or a particular woman, the cartoon characters always "recommend" the same crap.
This was something that bugged me when I first started reading this forum. I actually think it is better now than it used to be. It used to seem like everyone was reading from the same script. If someone asked a question, I could predict what someone was going to say because they used to always spit back the same stock "PUA Bro Theory" answer. Just as if they were programmed to, and in a way they were.

The problem was that the community at the time took a very "one size fits all" approach to seduction. Everyone was a Nice Guy, they put women on pedestals,and were overeager and prone to oneitis. If you happened to have an issue with women that didn't fit into that little shoebox, they looked at you like you were an alien.
 

Von

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This was something that bugged me when I first started reading this forum. I actually think it is better now than it used to be. It used to seem like everyone was reading from the same script. If someone asked a question, I could predict what someone was going to say because they used to always spit back the same stock "PUA Bro Theory" answer. Just as if they were programmed to, and in a way they were.

The problem was that the community at the time took a very "one size fits all" approach to seduction. Everyone was a Nice Guy, they put women on pedestals,and were overeager and prone to oneitis. If you happened to have an issue with women that didn't fit into that little shoebox, they looked at you like you were an alien.
Interesting...

I feel that on SS if you have a LTR and no issues you are an alien
 

Fruitbat

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This was something that bugged me when I first started reading this forum. I actually think it is better now than it used to be. It used to seem like everyone was reading from the same script. If someone asked a question, I could predict what someone was going to say because they used to always spit back the same stock "PUA Bro Theory" answer. Just as if they were programmed to, and in a way they were.

The problem was that the community at the time took a very "one size fits all" approach to seduction. Everyone was a Nice Guy, they put women on pedestals,and were overeager and prone to oneitis. If you happened to have an issue with women that didn't fit into that little shoebox, they looked at you like you were an alien.
I do find a lot of the "teachings" too hardcore. Dump her on a whim, it's like you have to find a woman who is completely pathetic.
 

Tenacity

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The problem was that the community at the time took a very "one size fits all" approach to seduction. Everyone was a Nice Guy, they put women on pedestals,and were overeager and prone to oneitis. If you happened to have an issue with women that didn't fit into that little shoebox, they looked at you like you were an alien.
You hit the nail on the head with the "one size fits all" approach. That in my opinion is the MAIN PROBLEM with Sosuave/The Manosphere because I believe it broad brushes every situation, every circumstance, every relationship, and EVERY WOMAN.

For example, as you know I do not understand why anybody would sign a marriage contract just based solely on the structure of the agreement along with market forces today that make it difficult to be "married happily forever". This does NOT MEAN that there are not marriages out there where the guy and girl are happily married.

But on the Manosphere, everything is RED and BLUE. There's no Purple. There's no Shades of Gray. And if you happen to call this out, you will be called names for it. With that being said, if a guy isn't careful...........the Manosphere can actually make your situation with women WORSE, not better. Again, just following any of the advice below that's promoted by the majority of the Manosphere will (I guarantee you) make your results with women worse:

* Not calling her in 3 or 5 days after getting her number. Do this and she is likely to forget who you are.

* Never texting a woman or not texting often, in a culture that is now founded on texting.

* Never using online dating, in a culture that is now founded on online dating.

* Using a 3 second rule, basically you walk in a room and IMMEDIATELY start hitting on a chick. Do this and you will come off very desperate and thirsty. For the life of me, just come in and enjoy the atmosphere first. Grab a drink or something, get settled in.

I can go on and on.
 

Tenacity

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The fact that you can't conceive a reality outside of online dating shows a damaged perspective, in my opinion.
But at no point in time did I say online dating was the only medium, place, or method to meet women. I simply said it's an important and culture changing medium that's very relevant today.
 

Tenacity

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Then why did you label never using it as some sort of flaw?
Because "never using it" makes no sense, in a culture that is now being driven by it in a number of ways. It's like saying only use a VCR in a culture being driven by DVRs. At one point in time, online dating and social media were not that relevant. Today, they are very relevant, almost the foundation of meeting women (and people in general) in a number of ways. It's why I said the Don Juan Bible is very outdated. Most of that material in there (being written in the early 2000's and before 2010) is almost irrelevant today.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but there's nothing in the DJ Bible about Social Media, Online Dating, and Texting, the three foundations of meeting/managing women in 2017/2018.
 

Macaframalama

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She herself was not what I feared, losing her to another was what I feared.
Because, losing a woman to another man is much more a blow to the ego and our manhood, than just losing the woman. Initially anyways. When my last ex cheated I was reactive. Raging and jealous, questioning what some 5'5/150#, 20 something had that I didn't. Afterwards, the pain stemmed more from realizing that she had actually fallen out of love and disconnected from me. Now, I see that her problems are with her insecurities, self-esteem and she's just a complete mess. Now, I feel the dude she cheated with did me a huge favor and I got off "cheap", imo.
How do you make your life project the focus and tune out the rest
You DO. Discipline. You discipline yourself to do things that you weren't doing before, that you know you should have done before or now know. I like to implement daily rituals. For example, do so many push ups and situps, upon waking. Reading scripture or so many minutes of self-help material daily. Making sure to get to the gym so many days a week and having optional activities in mind if you have free time to kill. Meditate for so many minutes a day. Always, look for new ways to challenge and temper yourself. All these little, small rituals can last from ten minutes to a couple hours, but they add up in the grand scheme of things and often times you are even lucky to have the time to ponder about much outside of yourself. Mental, spiritual and physical. Choose something that interests you to implement, that impacts you positively, from each aspect and build on and strive to do more over time. Action. By doing and being, challenging yourself, your beliefs, your spirituality, you can begin to change and shape your perspective. It's also important to seek out the perspectives of your peers and challenge each other, as well as getting into something that's physically competitive. Martial arts, a powerlifting group, CrossFit, etc.
 

sosousage

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I agree 100% with that but value has many components. Personality, attitude, self respect, finances, social status, etc. All of those things effect "value". The more of those things you have of each the higher the value. Women come to higher value naturally.

You can't just go out and get value. You can however improve on each component and increase it.
frame is interesting thing. value, positive vibes/aura and frame are all highly correlated.
 

Tenacity

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And no one ever said not to do that if it's working for you lol(of course you constantly complain about the quality of women on there so clearly it is not)
Depends upon what your definition is of "working for me".

Remember my analysis is there's a short term relationship market BOOM but a LTR market Great Depression. If you are a guy that has fixed his looks, personality, and finances, you can go out and build up a solid number of plates for short term relationships (which would mean, "it's working for me")........but with the LTR market being in a Great Depression, no medium of meeting women is going to address that situation. Even the guys with the most "status", wealth, popularity, and looks are struggling in that area.
 

Bingo-Player

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ive had a weird busy year , probably the weirdest year i ever had in my life

i accomplished a string of personal goals , have been involved in a roller coaster relationship , moved houses and jobs and been to ibiza twice during the summer

its all taught me that anything is possible if you keep slogging away the universe will eventually guide you on the right path

im at a stage in my life now where pu$$y and women have never been less of a priority, i used to check every hot chick i saw out

now unless she is mentally on my level i dont even bother humouring them

right now all im focused on is gaining wealth and that wealth isnt to attract women .....its too attract power and a comfortable lifestyle where i dont have to work 40 hours a week and live month to month for nothing

any women that pop up along the journey are welcome to spread they're legs but i certainly wont be busting a gut for it

onwards and upwards
 
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