just recently I went swimming and saw a nice girl from my place I already know for some time (I'm not at my home-town very often!). after some talking about what I do now, what she does now we entered a very relaxed conversation. at some point when getting out of the water, she asked me if I think she is fat (the kind of question you will hear from every woman sooner or later!). I told her, that I'm the kind of guy that doesnt look out for such things and that having a gorgeous body is just a thing hyped up by the medias etc. (hehe, she must have been thinking that I DO THINK she is fat and didnt want to tell her :-D - up to this point it was a NEG!). I could really tell by that strange smile that she felt a little put down, and THEN I told her that I think she has a very good shape and is very sexy!
I first put her down a little (in no personal way) and then relieved her of that feeling and made her feel good. I dont know if this was relevent for her giving me her number afterwards, but I gave her a compliment that sounded honest and made her feel good and special (a thing you dont get with the many routine-compliments most women are used to!).
This makes me curious. To the average (non-DJ) man, having a girlfriend/date/wife ask "Do I look fat?" or "Does this (item of clothing) make me look fat?" are NO-WIN questions. If he says yes, she gets pissed. If he says no, she thinks he's just saying that to placate her & gets more pissed.
How would a true DJ handle those questions? I'm new to this way of thinking, but my instinct now is to be honest. As in yeah, you have put on a couple of pounds (if that's the case), or no, you look fine (if that's true). In fact a great answer to #2 might be "No, that dress doesn't make you look fat; your 20 extra pounds make you look fat!"
My logic is that if she's gonna be pissed with either answer, might as well answer honestly. I know it's dangerous to try to think like a woman, but if I asked a question like that myself, I'd want an honest answer. I don't get anything from dishonest compliments. (I remember times when I'd start on a diet & tell people, & a few days later they'd start saying how much better I looked, when I'd only been at it long enough to drop a pound or two & there was no way anyone could truly see a difference yet. Just people saying what they think I wanna hear. But just like I don't want you guys to give me a standing ovation for saying hello to a woman, I don't need friends giving me false compliments.)
1) No you don't, honey....at least not as fat as you used to be."
2) Not at all Moby..."
3) Hell yeah....
And no, most women don't want you to be flat out honest,if you do think they're fat,what's wrong with a little tactfulness?
What to say, esp. if you're interested in the woman:
1)Hell no...(look her up and down quickly, don't leer,smile), you look fine!!!!
2) I think you're beautiful!
3) No. (don't hesitate with that answer. Us women are notorious for tacking more meaning onto what a man says than is necessary)
If the woman still gets all bent out of shape from what you feel was a positive response...then that's her own self-esteem problem. You're not a psychologist..If she's your girlfriend or wife...maybe what she's really trying to tell you is that she wants you to be more attentive.
That proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are not a woman
.
I'd go with Soldier (answer indirectly) and Senorita (lie convincingly and without hesitation) on this one...
K.
------------------ "Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly" - The Dalai Lama.
[This message has been edited by Krynnster (edited 01-17-2001).]
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Originally posted by ChrisFl: This makes me curious. To the average (non-DJ) man, having a girlfriend/date/wife ask "Do I look fat?" or "Does this (item of clothing) make me look fat?" are NO-WIN questions. If he says yes, she gets pissed. If he says no, she thinks he's just saying that to placate her & gets more pissed.
Chris, Chris, Chris... you are forgetting that the question isn't being posed for the man's sake, but for the woman's. She simply wants to hear that she does not look fat. Remember, truth is meaningless to women, what matters to them is how they feel and what they want to hear. It doesn't matter if the man loses either way, as long as the woman hears what she wants to hear -- in the long term, the man wins. Sometimes the truth hurts: with guys, no biggie; with women, they then feel hurt, and if you hurt a woman she will never forgive you.
Her: Does this X make me look fat?
Me: <big grin> I choose not to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me (or "I take the fifth")
Works great. Sometimes you have to explain that it's a No Win question for us to answer, but it beats saying "No babe, you look great" 100 times a week, and is a good C&F line *it's not quite a neg hit).
that's good stuff
if she just asked "do i look fat", then i might say "well the only way i can accurately judge that is if you take off your clothes" (with a smile)
"Do I look fat...?"
"Well, I wasn't gonna say anything..." + big ****y smile
Or you could do one of those hits described by The Matrix: Reloaded which are actually compliments but in a weird way. It's in teh HS bible I believe, good read.
First off i didn't bother to read any of the posts...just the title, Unusual Compliments. I'm really great at unusual compliments and it adds to the funny part of my personality. Use weird phrases depending on the situation.
For example - You're driving somewhere and your girl says that you missed the street you were supposed to turn at. Bust out with a "Yeah I know, your good looks are distracting me."
or
Lets say you're going for a walk. You can say all sorts of crazy stuff to compliment her in an unusual way like "Damnit, that guy over there must be staring at your fine ass legs. Don't make me have to go kick him in the head."
Yeah I know, some of this stuff may sound ridiculous but I'm only 19 and the girls i chill with enjoy it so hey, it might work for you.
when they ask that, i would start singing sir mix alot's song, baby got back:
"I like big butts and I cannot lie
u other brotherz can't deny
when a girl walks in with a itty, bitty, waist
and a round thing in ur face u get sprung
want to pull up tough
cuz u noticed that butt was stuck
beef to the jeans shes wearing
im hooked and I can't stop staring
oh baby I wanna get wit cha
and take ur pictcha
my homeboys tryed 2 warn me
but that butt u got makes me so horny
shes got it going like a turbo jet
im tired of magazines
seenin flat butts are the thing
cuz the average black man ask him that
shes got 2 pack much back
so fellas
YAH!
fellas
YAH!
cuz ur girlfriends got the butt
HELL YAH!
shake it
yah
shake it
yah
shake that healthy butt
baby got back
baby got back
I like them round and big
and when Im throwing a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm acting like an animal
now here's my scandal
I wanna get u home and
uh
double up
uh uh
I ain't talking bout playboy
those silicon parts are made for toys
I want them real thick and juicy
so find that juicy double
mix-alot seem trouble
begging for a piece of that bubble
so Im looking at rock videos
knocking these bimbos
looking like hoes
u can those bimbos
I keep my women like flo-jo
a word to the thick soled sisterz
i wanna get wit cha
i won't cus or hit cha
i gotta be straight when I say
I wanna uh to the break of dawn
baby's got it going on
a lot of sims won't like this song
cuz thoses punks like to hit and quit it
and I'd ratehr stay and play
cuz I'm long and I'm strong
and I'm down to get this frick **** on
so ladies
YAH!
ladies
YAH!
so u wanna roll my mercedes
YAH!
so turn around
stick it out
even white boys got 2 shout
baby got back
baby got back
yah baby
when it comes to females
cosmo ain't got nothing to do with my selection
36
24
36
on if she's 5'3"
so ur girlfriend owns a honda
playing workout tapes by fonda
but fonda ain't got a motor on the back of her honda
my anacoda
don't got none unless u got buns hun
you can do side bends or sit-ups
but please don't use that butt
some brotherz wanna play that hard roll
and tell ya that the butt ain't gold
so they toss and leave it
and i pull up quick to retrieve it
so cosmo says ur fat
well i ain't down wit dat
cuz ur waist is small
and ur curves are kicking
and im thinking bout sticking
to the beanpole dames and the magazines
you ain't it miss thing
give me a sista
i can't resist her
red beans and rice didn't miss her
some knuckle head tried to dis
cuz those girls are on my list
he had game
but he chose to hit em
and I pull up quick to get wit him
so ladies if da butt is round
and u wanna triple xbo down
dial 1-900-mixalot
and kick dem nasty thoughts
baby got back
