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True Double Standard

Matt ala Casanova

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Fellas,

Just to pick at your mindset, here is a question that I'd like honest answers on.

Are girls look upon much differently when they go out and date multiple guys and fvck whoever, whenever?

I mean if a guy came here and said, hey I am dating 3 to 4 girls right now and banging two of them currently. That would be viewed as some accomplishment.

Would it be different if a girl said that or if you knew this?

So do we DJ's think this way too?

M.A.C.
 
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You are talking two different natures here - men are the aggressors and inbred to pursue women biologically. Are we to stop our actions of pursuit once we get them? It is up to the women to reign in our actions and decline our advances to let us know that our attention is unwanted.

A woman that accepts every or most male suitors are giving themselves wantonly without a standard or criteria that should consider these men as worthy. This is what "courtship" is about. Since many men are pursuing her she must qualify them based on their worthiness as a man and what he brings to her as a future partner/husband - it can't just be based on "He's cute".

Men are visual beings and it is this visualness of attraction that makes us begin our pursuit. We get excited by sight. women however, feel a need to want more than just the physicalness (visual) of a man. This is why women want foreplay during the sex act and to 'cuddle' afterwards, while men are excited visually and ready to go at the drop of a hat, or should I say panties! :)

It is not a 'double standard' it is our differing natures!
 

Drex

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It is a true double standard that society has dicated. If a woman dates multiple guys and is sleeping with them then she is labelled a slut. But for a man to do this it is viewed as normal.
 

FlyGuy

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Personally I think many people oversimplify the issue. Times are changing, so are views held in society. Is it a double standard that men in general hold? Yes, but so what? It doesn't stop a girl from having multiple partners if she wants. There are many double standards that both men and women hold. It is a double standard in a time of "equal rights" that men are still expected to be the aggressors/pursuers, that they are expected to be "tougher" than women, that men should pay for dates, etc.

This viewpoint is a by-product of the American dating dynamic. How hard is it for an average looking woman to get sex? I mean what does she have to do besides look slutty and leave the house :rolleyes: The fact is a woman can get sex just about any time she wants with minimal effort as long as she is at least average looking. How about an average looking guy? How easy is it for an average joe to get laid? Well I can tell you there wouldn't be a sosuave.com, or a Double Your Dating, or any of the other thousands of products/books/gimmicks/methods if it was easy! If a guy is bedding multiple women and doesn't have movie star looks/wealth/fame/etc. then he must have something going for him! So maybe it is a double standard but there is at least some reason for it.
 

JohnJones

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Not to be bleak, but its scarcity that makes it important. Maybe it doesn't have to be that way and maybe it can become just as ordinary as talking, but then why would it matter that much to have it.

So long as men can have sex with one women but prefer and compete for a woman who has been around less or is more selective (meaning, so long as there are women who believe that they get some kind of advantage in being more selective) then the double standard will exist.

This is basically the same thing, as I see it, as why women don't value men who fall in love too easily -- what is she getting that he hasn't tried to lay on a million other girls?
 

Ballistik

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So what if it's a double standard? I hate when people complain about things they blame on society that are rooted in biology. Men will naturally look for women who aren't as promiscuous for relationships. It's how we're built. It's how we think.
 

LuvMyArmyMan

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Yeah, its a tota double-standard that society put in our minds. In some other cultures, its acceptable for a female to go out and seek suitors, such as the Massai and other African tribes. In some Asian societies, women have multiple husbands. And this is all comtemporary.

I think its sad that a girl cant go out and have fun and sleep around like the guys do. Personally, it wouldnt phase me if a girl went out and had fun like a guy and i wouldnt think of her as a slut, comparing her to a guy that sleeps around. I think that guys that are very promiscuous are man-*****s and girls that are promiscuous (and by promiscuous i mean a new partner every week or weekend) are slutty as well. To me, there is no difference between a girl that sleeps around or a guy that sleeps around.
 

Genghis Juan

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If a DJ is sleeping with multiple girls, he should not criticize the women he is sleeping with for sleeping with multiple guys, he would be a hypocrite. Live by the sword, die by the sword.

I think if two people want to be promiscious, its fine as long as they are both consenting to it, and not doing it behind eachother's backs.

The double-standard is eroding though. Women in our generation are building careers and are now making as much money as we are. They have almost as many options as we do (short of the biological clock). Its becoming more and more common now for women to call men "man-*****s", smuts or damaged goods. If scientists ever found a way to push back or eliminate the biological clock in women, our only advantage over women would be gone ;)

I will say that I think biologically, men are better equipped to be promiscious. Its in our DNA to be the propogaters of the race; similar to what PRL stated.
 

THE_ADDMAN

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there is also a phenomenon occuring that I call the "double-double standard"

men are players, women are sluts

however, it is changing. now women being sluts are admired for being "sexually liberated" (think Sex and the city)
whereas male players are starting to take bad publicity.

how many guys have heard something like this
"I had sex with him last night, my bf will never find out" "Girl, good for you!"
and a week later...
"he cheated on me last night :(" "you gotta dump his ass! he has no respect for you!"
 

flippinfreak

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It's the exclusivity factor...

Guys assume if they seduce a woman they switch into AFC mode and label them sluts if no free experimentation is established.

Women assume if the guy shows enough 'whippage' they are faithful, and any non-comittal relationships is viewed as wrong.

Jealousy, and control are also factors, but that is another area completely... AKA 'NEXT' material.
 

flexion_

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You need a frame of reference to your questions if you want an easy answer - otherwise the answer is... "Its depends."
 

flippinfreak

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The question was asked two years ago...

the reference: double standards
another reference: male/female veiwpoint
third reference: DJ philosophy

Now you have a defined area or an encompassing domain to base your arguments...

flexion, can you make an overall judgement of a women, that would be a humorous overstatement based on her shoes, her choice of pants/skirt, and her hair? You should learn how, you won't always be right, but it's good practice... It helps in all arguments you make...
 

Friendly Otter

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That it is accepted that men can sleep with more women without there being something wrong is not a "double standard," it's a different standard. You know, like in men and women are different. And it's not society that dictates it, but instinct.

I suppose we'll just have to pass on this information informally again and again, since the public schools see it convenient to not teach kids about evolutionary psychology.

Those men who have had the instinct to sleep with a lot of women, have passed on their genes more than those who never had that instinct, and that's why men desire sex more today (and are quicker aroused by the visual, as a sidenote. Like porn.).

Women, on the other hand, can't have several children at once like men can, so they had to be more careful about who they chose as the father - it needed to be someone with the best possible genes. Also, it needed to be a father who would stay and provide for the woman and her offspring.

Therefore, women have the instinct to be much more picky. Also, to desire men with status more. Which is why girls scream and faint at the sight of male singers, from Beatles to NSync and whatever, whereas guys don't act that way when it comes to female singers. (Perhaps "oppression" and "society" dictate they should act this way? What a funny dictate.)

Not only do women need to be picky, they also need to catch the man. A primary way to do this is through the withholding of sex. Women can't give away the goods too early, or the man might feel satisfied and move on, as per his instinct. She needs him to marry her first, settle down. That is her instinct. (This is where romance comes from: the woman is withholding, acting hard-to-get, and the man has to woo her through poetry and flowers singing below the balcony and whatever, to show that he is ready to work hard for her. Romance comes from the woman raising the cost of sex.)

So a woman who breaks this pattern, who gives away the candy to men far and wide, will destroy the main bargaining tool the other women have. The cost for sex is lowered. That's why they will hate her and consider her a slut.

Those feminists who tell us that "society" portrays loose women as sluts, conveniently forget that it is primarily other women who think of the loose women as sluts. And it has always been thus. Who hate prostitutes more, women or men? So unfortunately for the feminists, this doesn't fit into their male conspiracy plans either. As usual they ignore real science, like evolutionary psychology. Not that that has ever stopped them, as they will still always have full access to the mainstream media. Thank God for the internet, breaking the monopoly.
 

Juan_Man

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A part of me wants to be the sensitive guy and say that it is an unfair double standard but a part of me disagrees and doesn't think so. Girls get hit on constantly and basically control sex. They decide who they want to let in. Guys have to work and put in more game in order to get some. An ugly chick can get laid every day and a good looking guy can easily be strapped to his V-card. That is why a guy who gets around is praised and a girl who sleeps around is dissed.
 
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