flowtheory
Master Don Juan
Been seeing my girlfriend for 5 months now. Have fallen in love. The other day she told me after she completes her BAR exam and becomes a full fledge lawyer she’s wanting to move back to Europe and pursue a career there, as that’s the geography that has captured her heart and where she’s originally from. Doesn’t feel like herself in North America.
Obviously by her leaving and me staying, that’s our demise.
I’m crazy about her. Many great aspects to the relationship. Also some complicated ones too, yea.
There’s no strifes between us or flakiness on her part happening. It’s a very honest and open connection. All her actions are on point. Tons of sex, dates, her paying for bills, great. Her thoughts from time to time are the biggest hurdle as she’s confused within her own dealings. It’s challenging but I’m learning about myself within it.
So I don’t want to end it at the moment. So let’s freeze that suggestion. I don’t want to see anyone else at all. So I’m not gonna have an open relationship or spin other plates. And she doesn’t want this either at all.
But in 6.5 or more months she would be gone (assuming this all happens). Like I said, I have immense feelings for her and want to keep our relationship full of richness and depth.
How does one care less and simply enjoy the lasting months with a person who will soon be gone? How does one not get caught up in the potential heartbreak within the time remaining and get depressed at the thought?
My advice to myself would be to fully enjoy it day-by-day for what it is, rather than the idea of what it could be as a LTR - maybe kids and moving in, all that stuff relationships are built on - ideas. But everyday that goes by there’s more emotional development because I’ve already caught the deep feels for her. So does one just accept that this will end in heartbreak and be okay with it, that that is a part of life? A learning experience?
Any pragmatic suggestions about this would be appreciated. Because it is something valuable to me and when it does end I still want it to end with positivity with as little determint to my being as possible
Obviously by her leaving and me staying, that’s our demise.
I’m crazy about her. Many great aspects to the relationship. Also some complicated ones too, yea.
There’s no strifes between us or flakiness on her part happening. It’s a very honest and open connection. All her actions are on point. Tons of sex, dates, her paying for bills, great. Her thoughts from time to time are the biggest hurdle as she’s confused within her own dealings. It’s challenging but I’m learning about myself within it.
So I don’t want to end it at the moment. So let’s freeze that suggestion. I don’t want to see anyone else at all. So I’m not gonna have an open relationship or spin other plates. And she doesn’t want this either at all.
But in 6.5 or more months she would be gone (assuming this all happens). Like I said, I have immense feelings for her and want to keep our relationship full of richness and depth.
How does one care less and simply enjoy the lasting months with a person who will soon be gone? How does one not get caught up in the potential heartbreak within the time remaining and get depressed at the thought?
My advice to myself would be to fully enjoy it day-by-day for what it is, rather than the idea of what it could be as a LTR - maybe kids and moving in, all that stuff relationships are built on - ideas. But everyday that goes by there’s more emotional development because I’ve already caught the deep feels for her. So does one just accept that this will end in heartbreak and be okay with it, that that is a part of life? A learning experience?
Any pragmatic suggestions about this would be appreciated. Because it is something valuable to me and when it does end I still want it to end with positivity with as little determint to my being as possible