To break the cycle of an Attention Wh0re

[christz]

you know what they say you can't turn a ho into a house wife.

needless to say i think i've found a way to break the cycle of an Attention wh0re follow me here.

see Attention wh0re's aren't like normal girls they thrive on the attention of other guys only thing is those guys mean nothing to her, they come and go and get disgarded like a used peice of paper.

but the best way into an Attention wh0re's heart I think is to purposfully put yourself into her friendship zone. follow me on this one.

see Attention wh0re's don't have many close guy friends, the only guy friends they have are guys that either wanna get with her, or already have somewhere along the line and have been tossed on the back burner and only call her, or she'll only call them just to milk what attention she can get outta them.

but Its the guy that gets into her friendship zone for a long period of time, say a year or so maybe more. Granted Attention wh0re's take a lot of patience to break and most may not want to put up with the maddness, which is why this is a long term seduction type deal. There are no instant results. So you GOTTA have other girls avalible to you.

regaurdless its the guy that actually becomes a good friend to her, a guy that she can talk about all the "stupid" dudes that try and get with her and she scoffs at. You know basiclly she's shareing her Attention wh0reing ways with you indirectly, while treating you with the utmost respect.

sooner or later, you'll be very close to her where she'll actually care about you physiclly and emotionally because now you are her close friend and should anything happen to you, she'd probably be hurt.

i honestly think Attention wh0re's are girls looking for a good guy, because there's always that one person to change your ways. ALWAYS so now that your one of her best friends and she is able to confide in you, trust you totally, has probably indirectly told you what guy she actually wants to be with.

then you can up the game, by initating flirting on a sexual level, since your friendship is so close she'll laugh and tease back. sooner or later the friendship will deepen the flirting more intense. and the once rare get togethers become more frequent, she'll start to do lovey dovey things, be all touchy feely only diffrence is its a two way thing now.

soon she'll start buying you things, just outta the blue, (i was walking through the mall and i saw this shirt you had to have)

she'll play off her affection because she's probably not used to feeling this way. It may seem weird and at times she may flake on you but that's not because she's flakeing to be ignorant she's flakeing to fight the incoming barrage of feelings that she's getting that were never supposed to manifest.

needless to say, with time, a solid friendship built upon months (preferablly years) the once Attention wh0re is now girlfriend material and no longer seeking attention from other guys. but you

there's always exceptions to the rule, but most Attention wh0re follow close with what i've said here. its just all about what guy is willing to put the time in.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

I have read a similar suggestion somewhere else. It seems to work, but you have to be aware of two things:

1st: I would never spend 1 year on this girl, like she was a project. Too much work to do and probably it's not worth.

2nd: Once Aw always Aw! Unless she goes under treatment and try hard to change, but since "it's never their fault"/ they don't see their Aw behavior as bad I don't even consider the treatment idea!

If you want to "save the ho" and play her psychologist it's up to you.

 

[christz]

Originally posted by Blue Phoenix
I have read a similar suggestion somewhere else. It seems to work, but you have to consider two things:

1st: I would never spent 1 year on this girl, like she was a project. Too much work to do and probably it's not worth.

2nd: Once Aw always Aw! Unless she goes under treatment and try hard to change, but since "it's never their fault"/ they don't see their Aw behavior as bad I don't even consider the treatment idea!

If you want to "save the ho" and play her psychologist it's up to you.

that's what i mentioned, its a fail proof thing here, it just takes time and A LOT of guys don't want to put that time in.

Some may do, but i know a lot of ppl ask here and there "do AW fall in love" yes they do but they fall in love with people they respect and care about.

not the typical guy they fu*k and throw away.

the only way to change an AW is to force interpersonal development, and the only way to do that is if your a close friend that she listens to.

 

[Climax]

Agreed...

christz: I cannot even begin to describe to you how g0d d@mn RIGHT you are! I was in that exact situation with a girl, and things progressed nearly exactly the same as how u described it... The only thing that I disagree with you on is the fact that she will not seek attention from other guys... You said:

needless to say, with time, a solid friendship built upon months (preferably years) the once Attention wh0re is now girlfriend material and no longer seeking attention from other guys. but you

Even though she said and acted like she loved me and would do anything for me, she was STILL constantly looking for attention from other guys. AW (Attention wh0res) CAN be tamed into being girlfriend material, yes, but seeking attention from other guys is something that in some cases NEVER goes away... I see mothers that are AW's... Some AW's CAN be "cured" fully, and some just can't I guess.

For an AW, seeking attention from other guys is in their nature already because they are so use to it... its like a part of life for them, its like people wake up every day, they seek attention every day. And when they suddenly are expected to NOT get all the attention, it’s like something is missing from their lives, so even if they DO get into a relationship, its gonna be REALLY hard to get out of the habit of seeking attention from others. Often when a guy will get pissed off at an AW (if he is going out with her) she will tend to get really defensive and will not see anything "wrong" with what she is doing (seeking attention from other GUYS) which will probably lead to fights/arguments etc. One of the main reasons that I am not with my ex atm is BECAUSE of the fact that the things that she did, being the AW that she is, she saw nothing wrong with, while myself, and everyone else saw it as being wrong (seeking attention from other guys) while she was in a relationship with me. Well anyways... I just used myself as an example because I have experienced this type of thing 1st hand before.

How to deal with an AW if you WANT the relationship to work:

You need to work WITH her and slowly slowly point things out to her, have talks with her where u explain to her what u think is wrong with what she is doing, and just be PATIENT with her... An AW will find it really hard to suddenly STOP seeking attention from other guys, because like I said before, it’s a "part of their everyday life"... So if she does it while u are together, then don’t shout at her, and don’t start going off at her, rather point it out to her and slowly slowly she will hopefully start doing it less, until eventually she will stop it completely. If you think that she will stop IMMEDIATELLY, then you are very wrong, because in MOST cases with AW's, this is a LONG process.

After my experience, if I run into an AW I will rather keep away from her and find myself a decent girl that doesn’t have the problem of being an AW, because I am not willing to go through all that sh!t again... its a whole lot of trouble that I don’t need, and neither does any guy. So if you spot one, then feel free to have fun with her and what not, but as far as a relationship with one comes into the picture, well, all I can say, is stay away, unless you are willing to go through a lot of trouble with her


Laterz...

 

[Squid]

What is the point of wasting so much time on one person. I think you are missing the entire point here, there are way too many quality women out there to waste time on one AW. When you turn that AW into a housewife, do you think she'll be loyal and loving to you afterwards, or will she be sleeping her way around the neighbourhood looking for more and more attention.

You are suggesting spending a year working on one woman? Good luck with that, and after that year when you realize that you have wasted it on a woman who wasn't worth a minute of your time, you can come back here and read the bible a little more.

A DJ is the prize, he does not chase AW's for year long projects to get their affection. Any self respecting man would not fall in to that trap.

 

[christz]

Originally posted by Squid
What is the point of wasting so much time on one person. I think you are missing the entire point here, there are way too many quality women out there to waste time on one AW. When you turn that AW into a housewife, do you think she'll be loyal and loving to you afterwards, or will she be sleeping her way around the neighbourhood looking for more and more attention.

You are suggesting spending a year working on one woman? Good luck with that, and after that year when you realize that you have wasted it on a woman who wasn't worth a minute of your time, you can come back here and read the bible a little more.

A DJ is the prize, he does not chase AW's for year long projects to get their affection. Any self respecting man would not fall in to that trap.

i think you've totally missed the point here, the thing is you don't notice how much time is passing because the AW in question is just a good female friend.

sooner or later though if you want to persue the girl, you've already done the time with her, put up with some of the stupid shyt they put guys through.

so you see, don't wait around for one, date girls and hey if you find a girl you like a lot, more power to you. I've only posted this because people wonder if its possible

and i'm saying yes it is. It is possible to break an AW and no an AW will not sleep around on you if she gets into a relationship with you. That's the thing with AW they don't cheat on guys they are with very rarely do they do that. Unless you go totally AFC on her then she'll lose the respect which was the only thing keeping her in check and once the respect is gone its like the bottom just fell out, and everything else will soon follow.

 

[christz]

I also should point out signs that the AW is breaking.

Sign 1 : She talks to you about the latest guy she's played pretty much she's shareing her AW ways with you indirectly

Sign 2 : SHe treats you with more respect now, and even talks about you to her friends AND family

Sign 3 : Compliments are more sencier and frequent

Sign 4 : Little things you say have a big impact on her.

Sign 5 : SHE LISTENS TO YOU

Basiclly all these signs which i'm sure there are more of, are little things to show you that the AW is breaking moveing in your direction. Because she is trusting you more, for the simple fact that her "hidden game" is now being revealed to you.

the game being how she lies to certian guys and what she does with and to them.

now although these are good signs, the thing about it is, she may still flake out on you simply because she's haveing an internal battle with herself of if to let you in further or not.

Don't take this personally and don't get AFC just act like it wasn't important, because you guys are just friends. the reasons AW will flake on you this far down the line, is because they KNOW what will happen if they see you, they know they will end up fu*king you which they don't want.

(because that would be what they do to other guys that mean nothing, in which she wants to seperate you from)

or maybe because they just didn't want to at the time, remember the AW is your friend right now, friends don't gotta hang out. understand that and stay emotonally detached and victory is yours down the road.

 

[Squid]

Originally posted by christz
That's the thing with AW they don't cheat on guys they are with very rarely do they do that.

Really, and where is this information coming from? How can you possibly make a blanket statement like this? It is ludicrous for you to make this statement like it's a fact you have just finished researching.

Good luck with your mission captain save a ho, it sounds like time and effort well spent, i'm sure there's some really quality AW's out there

 

[Mike_The_Man]

Originally posted by Squid
What is the point of wasting so much time on one person. I think you are missing the entire point here, there are way too many quality women out there to waste time on one AW. When you turn that AW into a housewife, do you think she'll be loyal and loving to you afterwards, or will she be sleeping her way around the neighbourhood looking for more and more attention.

You are suggesting spending a year working on one woman? Good luck with that, and after that year when you realize that you have wasted it on a woman who wasn't worth a minute of your time, you can come back here and read the bible a little more.

A DJ is the prize, he does not chase AW's for year long projects to get their affection. Any self respecting man would not fall in to that trap.

Squid has it right on in that you are overlooking a major point here Christz, and that is that most of these women we call "AW's"suffer from a condition known as Histrionic Personality Disorder and CANNOT CHANGE unless they submit to intense therapy; this behaviour is ingrained into the deepest code levels in their minds and the vast majority of times they do not realize that they are behaving the way that they are! When they are lying and manipulating others for the much needed attention fix, they literally do not know they are hurting others, all they know is they need the attention and admiration of others, especially men in order to fill their dark, cold, empty shell. It is not like they wake up today and say to themselves " I think I am going to make Mike_The_Man believe that I like him and want to be with him because I will get a thrill out of seeing him dance like a puppet on my string. No, it is rather like she wakes up in the morning and Mike_The_Man is the farthest thing from her mind AT THAT MOMENT but when she sees Mike_The_Man at work in the morning it triggers the want for the attention AT THAT MOMENT because she knows it is a given but as soon as work is over for the day and she is driving home again Mike_The_Man is not even on her radar screen because he is not in her presense right AT THAT MOMENT and he can do nothing more for her today attention wise. Tomorrow comes and the cycle repeats itself, slowly over time the need for more intense attention from Mike_The_Man increases until Mike_The_Man is having mind blowing sex with his AW and he is thinking this girl is liking/loving me and all is wonderful in the world but alas, NOT TO HER! She needs to create more drama for attention, even if it is negative so she unwittingly starts to tear at your soul any way she can!

You are left wondering what is going on and what happened to that sweet little woman you were having great love sessions with only weeks before. The sad truth is that she never had any "real feelings" or empathy at all for you from the very start; it was all only for her "fix" which you can no longer provide enough of so now its on to the next guy she can manipulate; no shortage of those I guarantee you because of how attractive she is, there will always be guys that want a shot at her for a "relationship" until they find out, like I and a few others did the HARD WAY!

No Christz, these women are best left very alone by those of us that know and can spot them early on, These women are not capable of anything approaching what normal people define as a real relationship in the conventional sense of the term.

Please reference my or jnallen or blue phoenix's posts or look in the bible for the relavent threads that are permanantly on display there for all to see and learn from. The patterns are way too consistant for you to miss them so take care as soon as you know you are dealing with a histrionic, drop it and run the other way unless you know you are just looking for sex and can stay emotionless with her.

 

[christz]

HPD is the most extream case, of AWisim

this is a personal disorder treatable by intense interpersonal development

Squid it sounds like you've run ground enough times and patched yourself up enough times.

Nobody told you to "save a ho" and i'm defenitly not saying go out there and save them. I'm stateing a fact that they can be broken if YOU DON'T WANT TO

notice how i have that in all caps.

if you don't want to squid, then don't you totally missed the purpose of this post, and your still missing it.

and Mike_the_Man
Your view of AW's having HPD is wrong, that is the most extream case and it is actually a medical DISORDER, a girl looking for attention from a guy on a casual basis is NOT HPD.. understand the difference.

Also HPD inflicted AW's do not feel insecure, where as casual AW's do. the more you break into an AW's bytch barrier the more she feels insecure around you and starts compareing herself to other women, like asking if you think so and so is hot, and compares herself to her.

the difference from a disorder and a normal girl who's been burned to many times and has developed a sense of AWisim is HUGE

 

[DrSoSuave]

Seems like christz is probably in a situation where he is currently friends with an attention "wh0re" and is rationalizing his position with her by coming up with these unrealistic theories.

Over and over many men have gone through this and this is just another post of "I just don't get it, yet."

For instance, you have Tera Patrick who is an adult porn star, she is the ultimate attention wh0re, if she asks if you can buy her lunch, you would. If she asks if she can borrow your newly purchased BMW, I bet you would let her drive it for the weekend too.

So why is she with a heavy metal husband for several years who told her to flat not not make any more pornographic movies with other men and she agreed? He doesn't seem like he makes more money than she does nor does he seem like the gentlemanly type of guy.

So from what I surmise, you think that by being Mr. Nice guy who cowtows to her emotional needs (or in your distorted vision: Mr. Good Guy) for an entire year so she will ultimately fall in love with you. Sorry, but the real Good guys in this world are the ones who are not concerned with being a woman's friend.

 

[theSpeculator]

I think what chrisz is trying to say is that you just befriend her just to be friends. This isn't AFC behavior, which is trying to sneak in the back door by trying to be friends. Do you see the difference?

1. The first case is being friends because you like her company.
2. The second case is trying to be friends because you're secretly, or sneakingly, trying to bone her.
   [/list=1]

 

[dearsappho]

The initial post in this thread is biggest load of balls ive ever read on here.

Any guy who waits a year to nail an AW is out of his mind.

If she treats you like crap, dump her. End of.

 

[Mike_The_Man]

Originally posted by christz
HPD is the most extream case, of AWisim

this is a personal disorder treatable by intense interpersonal development

Squid it sounds like you've run ground enough times and patched yourself up enough times.

Nobody told you to "save a ho" and i'm defenitly not saying go out there and save them. I'm stateing a fact that they can be broken if YOU DON'T WANT TO

notice how i have that in all caps.

if you don't want to squid, then don't you totally missed the purpose of this post, and your still missing it.

and Mike_the_Man
Your view of AW's having HPD is wrong, that is the most extream case and it is actually a medical DISORDER, a girl looking for attention from a guy on a casual basis is NOT HPD.. understand the difference.

Also HPD inflicted AW's do not feel insecure, where as casual AW's do. the more you break into an AW's bytch barrier the more she feels insecure around you and starts compareing herself to other women, like asking if you think so and so is hot, and compares herself to her.

the difference from a disorder and a normal girl who's been burned to many times and has developed a sense of AWisim is HUGE

OK Christz, you are talking about girls that like to play silly little games on purpose and fully know what they are doing, I see the difference here. Thank you for the clarification.

But I feel I must correct you on one thing, you say that women with HPD do not feel insecure' actually, they are the MOST insecure and frightened women in the world on the inside and are on a constant quest to fill up her emotional emptiness which can never be filled because all the love, affection and attention in the world is never enough and so these women go from guy to guy to guy to guy looking for somthing they will NEVER find!

I do not know if you have done the research into HPD on the net but I do know this: they live in a very scary world are are living very tormented lives with nothing but cold, dark, empty pain as their constant companion that will never leave them. That is the one thing they can count on.

I have said this once before and I will say it again, I am shocked at how often this subject comes up on this and other boards; before I got badly burned, I knew NOTHING of any of this at all; it took a lot of research in a short amount of time to educate my self about this and Personality Disorders in general and it has been a life-changing experience for me. I NEVER saw this coming!

I am worlds better off now than I was 4 months ago save for the loss of a job I loved because of my histrionic. I fully believe had I stayed there though, I would have ended up far worse off than had I left then, not knowing what I know now about all this.

Be careful Christz, be very careful! Good luck to you!

 

[Squid]

Originally posted by christz





then you can up the game, by initating flirting on a sexual level, since your friendship is so close she'll laugh and tease back. sooner or later the friendship will deepen the flirting more intense. and the once rare get togethers become more frequent, she'll start to do lovey dovey things, be all touchy feely only diffrence is its a two way thing now.

soon she'll start buying you things, just outta the blue, (i was walking through the mall and i saw this shirt you had to have)

she'll play off her affection because she's probably not used to feeling this way. It may seem weird and at times she may flake on you but that's not because she's flakeing to be ignorant she's flakeing to fight the incoming barrage of feelings that she's getting that were never supposed to manifest.

needless to say, with time, a solid friendship built upon months (preferablly years) the once Attention wh0re is now girlfriend material and no longer seeking attention from other guys. but you

there's always exceptions to the rule, but most Attention wh0re follow close with what i've said here. its just all about what guy is willing to put the time in.

First off, as I said before, you must have done alot of research to know so much about all AW's.

Dude, what I am saying is even if your strategy works, IT WILL NOT LAST!! Don't you understand? these people need the attention of others to feed their egos. They don't see anything wrong with getting alot of attention and having a life of drama. You can go through your one year plan but you will not change someone. It's just not possible.

You will have only succeeded in dating an AW, you may have all of her attention for a little while, but that will get boring and she'll start up again.

I'll say it again YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE, especially with your system, it's a pipe dream, a temporary victory that will be short lived.

 

[christz]

Re: Re: To break the cycle of an Attention Wh0re

Originally posted by Squid
First off, as I said before, you must have done alot of research to know so much about all AW's.

Dude, what I am saying is even if your strategy works, IT WILL NOT LAST!! Don't you understand? these people need the attention of others to feed their egos. They don't see anything wrong with getting alot of attention and having a life of drama. You can go through your one year plan but you will not change someone. It's just not possible.

You will have only succeeded in dating an AW, you may have all of her attention for a little while, but that will get boring and she'll start up again.

I'll say it again YOU CANNOT CHANGE SOMEONE, especially with your system, it's a pipe dream, a temporary victory that will be short lived.

ultimatly NOBODY in life wants to be alone, even AW's have the big picture of starting a family getting a good husband and settleing down and haveing a nice family..

AW's are nothign more than misunderstood girls, they take patience yes and if you don't have the patience than don't bother with them, the thing is AW will only connect with people they have a close bond to. And walking up to an AW with an approch "are you single" won't cut it.

AW's aren't another species of female, they are just like everybody else just because you don't want to put in time doesn't mean that others wouldn't or wonder if putting in time even works.

it does

And about the comment of me being involved with an AW, truthfully i cannot deny that, because i am. I am good friends with a casual AW a girl that has been burned to the point where she put up barriers to sheild herself from emotion.

however i've broken plenty of AW's in my past and this one is no different they exibit all the same actions. I'm not trying to justify anything.

i'm only saying that it is possible to break an AW. Why is it so hard to grasp? I said in my first post. It takes TIME if you don't want to put the TIME in, Then don't But other men do want to, and wonder if it that TIME will work. Well the thing is it does.. so understand if your in a friendzone with an AW then you are in a good place. only from this point will anything be able to florish

 

[Deadly_Assassin]

its not the AW's fault she an AW. Its because guys keep giving her the attention. And shes just enjoying the attention shes getting.

One another thing I think is important is that you must come across as being different to other guys. You must not fall into her traps and not chase after her especially if you are trying to get past her barrier and win her trust. When you win her trust she will start opening up to you. She will actually start being herself. Of course this will heighten her interest in you maybe to a point where she will get into a relationship with you or maybe not. But its really important to be a challenge and at the same time get really close to her. That last part cannot be rushed and has to be done with the flow of things. She will mention other guys to you and how they are after her, shes testing you to see your reactions.

When you start getting close to her bring in the kino. Dont give her the attention or the compliments yet.

Once you get close to her try getting her to share as much personal information about herself as possible. Not in one day of course but over a period of time. Do tell her some of yours but not heaps. Now you having something thats precious to her. This is when she will always wanna talk to you and this is when you back off a little. Do not ever make fun of her personal stuff shes shared with you or you will loose her trust. Do not share it with anyone else. Now is when you show interest in her slowly. Strike while the iron is hot. See how she responds. Your compliments will mean more to her and she will believe you. By this time shes realised you actually care about her or you appear to and you are not trying to get in her pants like the other guys.

Now is when you take her out. Do not mention its a date or make it appear like one. Just pretent its just a casual night and the two of you are just hanging around. Show her the time of her life and kiss her at the end. That kissing part is really important. Look into her eyes, do it softly and not as an impulse. She should sort of know that you are thinking of kissing her or about to do it ( If shes one of those hard out christian type ones just intiate to hold her hand ) Do it now or her interest will drop ( she will think of you as a wuss who dropped his nuts when the big moment arrived ) Kiss her now, kiss her softly no tongues necessary, her interest will have reached the moon by now.

 

[Climax]

1 thing....

Originally posted by Deadly_Assassin
its not the AW's fault she an AW. Its because guys keep giving her the attention. And shes just enjoying the attention shes getting.

They LOOK for it, they do things that DRAWS attention from others... TRUSTS me, they make VERY sure of it that they GET the attention!

Otherwise i think that the rest of your post is correct and well put.

 

[Blue Phoenix]

Re: Re: Re: To break the cycle of an Attention Wh0re

Originally posted by christz
ultimatly NOBODY in life wants to be alone, even AW's have the big picture of starting a family getting a good husband and settleing down and haveing a nice family..

AW's are nothign more than misunderstood girls, they take patience yes and if you don't have the patience than don't bother with them, the thing is AW will only connect with people they have a close bond to. And walking up to an AW with an approch "are you single" won't cut it.

And about the comment of me being involved with an AW, truthfully i cannot deny that, because i am. I am good friends with a casual AW a girl that has been burned to the point where she put up barriers to sheild herself from emotion.

however i've broken plenty of AW's in my past and this one is no different they exibit all the same actions. I'm not trying to justify anything.

So you're friends with Aws? And you believe what they say to you?

Aws wanting a family? You must be kidding me. I have met some Aws and one of them was always saying that marriage was a turn off to her. The other one who was 30 y old was "engaged" but was always postponing her "marriage". And she even had an affair with one of her students!!!

Aws were burned? Who was not hurt/burned before!? We all, don't we?

Aws have very low self steem, which means anything "burn" them. If you don't compliment them, or if you disagree with them or if you don't flirt with them, etc. And they're very attracted to bad boys, no wonder they get even more burned.

They want to be seen as a "sexual object", later they can't complain when people just use them for sex.

Don't get me wrong but the fact you're "friend" with an Aw makes you justify and make excuses for her behavior.

 

[Squid]

Re: Re: Re: To break the cycle of an Attention Wh0re

Originally posted by christz


i'm only saying that it is possible to break an AW. Why is it so hard to grasp?

Listen dude, getting one to date you is not breaking them. You said you've broken many AW's, interesting, did you marry them all? why are you not still dating them? You did say "how to turn an AW into a house wife" did you not? So you must have a harem of former AW housewives that you've broken.

This is what you are not grasping, your little list of steps cannot possibly change a persons personality. You will not change them, in the end you will only be dating an AW. That is ALL you will accomplish. It's not breaking them, it's not taming them, etc. They will not change their ways because that's who they are.

I also find it interesting how you can "matter of factly" state exactly what all women who are AW's are thinking, what they want, etc. How the hell do you know this? What are you basing this on? You are making generalizations about things you don't know for sure, maybe you should change your statement to "the AW's that I have met" instead of an arrogant statement like "I know that all AW's in the world want..."