Hi guys, new member here but have been following the forums for a few months after reading Tomassi and others. Reason being, I found myself in a situation (and still am) that has thrown me for a loop and made me rethink women all together. I have beta tendencies but have always ended up doing pretty respectable without trying (lots of experience with hookups, ONSs, 4 or 5 LTRs all with attractive women) as my game seems to win out just enough.
In the Fall of 2019, a girl that I started working with (she’s 24, I’m 35) and I hooked up (banged) a few months in on a work trip. I didn’t really notice many signs of attraction leading up to it, but she literally jumped in my bed in my hotel room after were we all out with other people from work and told me she just couldn’t take it anymore and she’s been attracted to me since we started working together.
She has a BF of 3-4 years, moved to this city with him, and they live together. I also had a girlfriend of about 6 months at the time. It stayed a one-time thing, we never told anybody (at her request because her BF was suspicious of her radio silence that night), and continued working together. I started paying more attention and noticed her signs of attraction but I played it cool and never did anything except act casual, give her a smirk here and there, and even avoided her a bit as if nothing happened. She would text me late at night occasionally for the next few months and IF/when I replied realized I was blocked (she was probably with her boyfriend and immediately got nervous that I would reply. So, the conversations never went anywhere. She actually told me she did this.
Over the next few months I still kept it cool, would occasionally lightly flirt with her (she’s very attractive, amazing body, and I did enjoy the night we had) but I was still with my GF (who lived with me) and her with her BF and we went on with our lives until Summer 2020.
We started to work near each other more, flirt more, and my attraction started to grow for her although I didn’t make it clear. I invited a crew from work to the lake for a day on my boat and made sure to include her. That night she texted me it was one of the funnest days of her life. I started to hear from others at work that her boyfriend is controlling (she had a 7pm curfew every night and isn’t allowed to talk to other guys/waiters/ tc) and that she was even going to be in trouble for going with work people out on my boat that day. Anyway, over the next few weeks our attraction kept building (but didn't really talk about it) until one day after leaving work she texts me and says...
Her:“You have to be the hardest person to read”.
Me: “I am? What are you trying to read?”
Her: “One day it seems like you want to talk to me and the next I’m not sure. And of course I don’t want to bother you”
Me: “It doesn’t bother me. I want you to actually…”
And from there it was only a few more days of texting and we started hanging out in secret like sneaking away for an hour to two and hooking up in her car etc; sneaking up to her office and making out; even having sex in a closet during work. Then hotel rooms etc... Her BF pretty much caught us one day by pulling into a parking lot while she was dropping me back off at my car (didn’t see me but saw my truck parked near her car. By this time, she had told me how controlling and even sometime abusive he was and it wouldn’t be good if he found out. Anyway, we continued the affair and a week or so later she called me at 9pm one night saying she left him and was in her car in a parking lot with nowhere to go. I was staying at a friends house while they were out of town since me and my GF were in the process of breaking up at the same time and she came over.
She basically lived with me for the next month. She was meeting her BF to talk but telling him that she was staying with a work friend because she needed space. They texted all the time and she must've just been constantly lying to keep it under wraps that she was at my house. We even took a weekend trip together and she had him watch her dog (even I felt bad about that one), telling him she was going to a work conference, and was even texting him the whole weekend to convince him she was with work people the whole time.
At the end of that month she went to visit family (across the country) and told me she was going by herself. I quickly found out she went back with him (they are from the same town). I didn’t say anything and for the first couple weeks while she was away she was blowing me up with calls, texts, pics, etc and saying she was totally done with her relationship and I acted like I didn't know she travelled with him. Then her tone changed overnight (went cold). I was supposed to fly there and she flaked.
I backed off and after a few days she said “Idk what’s going on but can we talk?”. She said some family stuff happened etc etc but when she got back to our city we would pick up where we left off and she wanted to live with me. This part is NUTS…telling me this on the phone all while driving to HIS house (she posted an IG story at the same time of them together (she had blocked me on social media but I have multiple accounts for other businesses I run and she didn’t know I can still see).
Anyway, I eventually call her out on all the lies and she sends a long apology and a long phone call and said we need to end it. I basically say “take care, let me know if anything changes, but I deserve an apology in person because you lied to my face".
She agrees and when she gets back to town (granted with him and back living at their place) she comes over, we talk, and it ends in hugs and making out. Immediately after she texts me and says she wants me, can't deal with me dating over people. blah blah blah, and things pick up where they left off: Her cheating on her BF with me and me on an emotional roller coaster.
This is still going on (she was here last night and the sects was amazing. She comes over 3-4 times a week (while he’s working), we have sects most of those times, and she goes back to him. She keeps saying she wants to end it and be with me with no distractions, “she’s going to prove it”, etc, but weeks go by and she doesn’t change anything. We don’t go more than a few days without hooking up and she texts/calls almost everyday - “I miss you, blah blah blah”…
I have never been needy, kept all texts/calls short, she even says “I never know what you’re thinking”, and I don’t spend money on her or anything like that. We can’t really be seen outside my house/the bedroom anyway.
I’ve kept my cool even though sometimes I feel like I need to burst because her actions don’t match her words, when she goes HOT/COLD, or spends the weekend off with her BF. I want to look at this as just a good sects situation and not ruin it by giving an ultimatum, getting mad, etc. but it’s getting hard to maintain composure. I am single at this point. She does get mad when I mention me dating other people and even freaked out when word got back to her I was on a date “with another blonde” but full disclosure I don't have any other plates going strong.
I’d like to think of the possibilities of this progressing but after seeing what she’s capable of I would always be questioning of her, but I also don’t want to give up the amazing bedroom antics by ruining the current (but f***ed up) situation by calling her out. Also, what kind of psych issues does she have for god's sake?
In the Fall of 2019, a girl that I started working with (she’s 24, I’m 35) and I hooked up (banged) a few months in on a work trip. I didn’t really notice many signs of attraction leading up to it, but she literally jumped in my bed in my hotel room after were we all out with other people from work and told me she just couldn’t take it anymore and she’s been attracted to me since we started working together.
She has a BF of 3-4 years, moved to this city with him, and they live together. I also had a girlfriend of about 6 months at the time. It stayed a one-time thing, we never told anybody (at her request because her BF was suspicious of her radio silence that night), and continued working together. I started paying more attention and noticed her signs of attraction but I played it cool and never did anything except act casual, give her a smirk here and there, and even avoided her a bit as if nothing happened. She would text me late at night occasionally for the next few months and IF/when I replied realized I was blocked (she was probably with her boyfriend and immediately got nervous that I would reply. So, the conversations never went anywhere. She actually told me she did this.
Over the next few months I still kept it cool, would occasionally lightly flirt with her (she’s very attractive, amazing body, and I did enjoy the night we had) but I was still with my GF (who lived with me) and her with her BF and we went on with our lives until Summer 2020.
We started to work near each other more, flirt more, and my attraction started to grow for her although I didn’t make it clear. I invited a crew from work to the lake for a day on my boat and made sure to include her. That night she texted me it was one of the funnest days of her life. I started to hear from others at work that her boyfriend is controlling (she had a 7pm curfew every night and isn’t allowed to talk to other guys/waiters/ tc) and that she was even going to be in trouble for going with work people out on my boat that day. Anyway, over the next few weeks our attraction kept building (but didn't really talk about it) until one day after leaving work she texts me and says...
Her:“You have to be the hardest person to read”.
Me: “I am? What are you trying to read?”
Her: “One day it seems like you want to talk to me and the next I’m not sure. And of course I don’t want to bother you”
Me: “It doesn’t bother me. I want you to actually…”
And from there it was only a few more days of texting and we started hanging out in secret like sneaking away for an hour to two and hooking up in her car etc; sneaking up to her office and making out; even having sex in a closet during work. Then hotel rooms etc... Her BF pretty much caught us one day by pulling into a parking lot while she was dropping me back off at my car (didn’t see me but saw my truck parked near her car. By this time, she had told me how controlling and even sometime abusive he was and it wouldn’t be good if he found out. Anyway, we continued the affair and a week or so later she called me at 9pm one night saying she left him and was in her car in a parking lot with nowhere to go. I was staying at a friends house while they were out of town since me and my GF were in the process of breaking up at the same time and she came over.
She basically lived with me for the next month. She was meeting her BF to talk but telling him that she was staying with a work friend because she needed space. They texted all the time and she must've just been constantly lying to keep it under wraps that she was at my house. We even took a weekend trip together and she had him watch her dog (even I felt bad about that one), telling him she was going to a work conference, and was even texting him the whole weekend to convince him she was with work people the whole time.
At the end of that month she went to visit family (across the country) and told me she was going by herself. I quickly found out she went back with him (they are from the same town). I didn’t say anything and for the first couple weeks while she was away she was blowing me up with calls, texts, pics, etc and saying she was totally done with her relationship and I acted like I didn't know she travelled with him. Then her tone changed overnight (went cold). I was supposed to fly there and she flaked.
I backed off and after a few days she said “Idk what’s going on but can we talk?”. She said some family stuff happened etc etc but when she got back to our city we would pick up where we left off and she wanted to live with me. This part is NUTS…telling me this on the phone all while driving to HIS house (she posted an IG story at the same time of them together (she had blocked me on social media but I have multiple accounts for other businesses I run and she didn’t know I can still see).
Anyway, I eventually call her out on all the lies and she sends a long apology and a long phone call and said we need to end it. I basically say “take care, let me know if anything changes, but I deserve an apology in person because you lied to my face".
She agrees and when she gets back to town (granted with him and back living at their place) she comes over, we talk, and it ends in hugs and making out. Immediately after she texts me and says she wants me, can't deal with me dating over people. blah blah blah, and things pick up where they left off: Her cheating on her BF with me and me on an emotional roller coaster.
This is still going on (she was here last night and the sects was amazing. She comes over 3-4 times a week (while he’s working), we have sects most of those times, and she goes back to him. She keeps saying she wants to end it and be with me with no distractions, “she’s going to prove it”, etc, but weeks go by and she doesn’t change anything. We don’t go more than a few days without hooking up and she texts/calls almost everyday - “I miss you, blah blah blah”…
I have never been needy, kept all texts/calls short, she even says “I never know what you’re thinking”, and I don’t spend money on her or anything like that. We can’t really be seen outside my house/the bedroom anyway.
I’ve kept my cool even though sometimes I feel like I need to burst because her actions don’t match her words, when she goes HOT/COLD, or spends the weekend off with her BF. I want to look at this as just a good sects situation and not ruin it by giving an ultimatum, getting mad, etc. but it’s getting hard to maintain composure. I am single at this point. She does get mad when I mention me dating other people and even freaked out when word got back to her I was on a date “with another blonde” but full disclosure I don't have any other plates going strong.
I’d like to think of the possibilities of this progressing but after seeing what she’s capable of I would always be questioning of her, but I also don’t want to give up the amazing bedroom antics by ruining the current (but f***ed up) situation by calling her out. Also, what kind of psych issues does she have for god's sake?
