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There's Another Guy in the Picture...

Hank Moody

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How do you proceed with her when you feel there's another guy in the picture?
 

Mister_Skinny_Jeanz

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Damn. that's your gut. you're sensing another man in the picture, is she plate or serious girl you like?
 

Hank Moody

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Damn. that's your gut. you're sensing another man in the picture, is she plate or serious girl you like?
Was a plate, but started to develop feelings for her. What should I say - or do?
 

Black Widow Void

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I hate when this happens.

This is one of those times when scarcity and value cannot be overstated.

You cannot show that the other guy bothers you to any degree.
Next time you see her, be sure to arrive "in your power" (we all have days when we feel this).
Give her the time of her life (hopefully, this also includes the bedroom).

Naturally, you don't want to bail right after the deed, but you want to leave on the highest note possible.
Then you don't call or text (or respond to either) for days. There's a good reason for this.

In your absence, the other guy will be placing a bid. You might be thinking .. Wo... not good. But, this can most likely play to your advantage.
You left her on a high note. She doesn't know what you are up to or who you're with. When the phone pings (and it's the other guy)... this should lower her attraction toward him ("oh no, it's that other guy again... where's Hank?! ") and without any effort on your part, increase her attraction toward you.

This isn't bulletproof, and no advice is going to be 100% absolute. However, I believe that this is the best maneuver in these situations.
 

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TheFinalLine

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When is there never another guy(s) in the picture? It would be intellectually ignorant to think a woman should drop all her options on a maybe.

It isn’t pleasant because men looking for a relationship, are in search of a Madonna. The first half of the Madonna/Wh@re complex. He may not even realize it. This is why women become and are being Chameleons. Especially if she thinks there might be something to you. If she’s going after a high value man, she knows that if he knew of her parking lot blow jobs and high count, he will switch to the “Wh@re” side of his Madonna/Wh@re complex and just be with her without ever making her his. She’s a wh@re. Why would he? If she is a slvt now, he can never be secure in her professing of love or commitment. And he would be correct. She gave away her value a long time ago. Thus the chameleon. It’s an adaptation.

This is innate. It’s part of being male. You could ally this up with mate guarding, rational jealousy, gut feelings etc.

Here is a valid point. Feminism is trying to overcome the Madonna/***** complex in men. They think it is from years of “misogyny” When it is in fact, a genetic adaptation. If a man puts forth his production and support and safety to a woman, he expects to sire children by her. This is called an exchange. Without exchange you have nothing.

This whole thread is pretty good stuff. It is the reason men fail. They do not demand exchange for their resources. They give it away in an effort to buy her affections in the hopes that she will honor him. He is doomed from the start by even thinking that the culture that corrupts women has enough women left to go around who are dedicated to exchange. Most want support for nothing. We can’t be any more degraded than that.
 
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Hank Moody

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Do: nothing different with her.

Do: keep having sex with her

Do: keep talking to other women.

Men, don’t develop feelings for women until they press you for exclusivity.
I ask, because her last few texts to me have been very 'friend-ish'. It feels like she's lost the spark she used to have for me.

How should I respond to her friendly message?

Don't worry, I'm not letting her pull me into HER frame. I'm not one of those 'I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not at all' guys.
 

EyeBRollin

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I ask, because her last few texts to me have been very 'friend-ish'. It feels like she's lost the spark she used to have for me.

How should I respond to her friendly message?

Don't worry, I'm not letting her pull me into HER frame. I'm not one of those 'I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than not at all' guys.
Respond by asking her out for the next date. No need to read into anything. Your intent is to dvck her down.
 

Mister_Skinny_Jeanz

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Was a plate, but started to develop feelings for her. What should I say - or do?
fvck.. honestly?

you should see her less , and let the feelings go down a little.
at this point you have developed feelings , so its not practical to keep seeing her as often as you are now, play it cool, eat your heart out and slowly back up , you can keep her as a plate but if you want something serious , its gonna have to be on her time wait for her to press the relationship. how long have you developed feelings and how strong have they gotten?
 

Hank Moody

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fvck.. honestly?

you should see her less , and let the feelings go down a little.
at this point you have developed feelings , so its not practical to keep seeing her as often as you are now, play it cool, eat your heart out and slowly back up , you can keep her as a plate but if you want something serious , its gonna have to be on her time wait for her to press the relationship. how long have you developed feelings and how strong have they gotten?
Just a few months. The thought of her w/ another guy is a total mindfvck. I have the oneitis.
 

Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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If you're dating a young girl without baggage from a dating app you are probably dealing with some new mr. super hot shot that's not going to commit to her in the first place. Eventually she will get burned or annoyed by the guy and come back to you. Gone are the days where you can go 1-4 months without any interest drops, it's going to take a year to be able to make a girl submit fully and that's an "IF"
 

Mister_Skinny_Jeanz

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Just a few months. The thought of her w/ another guy is a total mindfvck. I have the oneitis.
oh fvck
this is not good bro , how many days out the week do you see her? i know im askin a hundred questions but just bear with me here
 

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spikeanut

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OP, if this is the same girl from your other post then there is nothing you can do. If you have moved and can no longer meet her on a regular basis, then there is no point in continuing to txt her. Pull your time and attention away from her. You will never be able to increase her interest higher than a guy she can go out and see, date, fvck any time she wants. You cannot change the way a person feels or make them do something they don't already want to do. All you can do as a man is change yourself. So do that. Change your mindset, start getting over her. It's not going to be easy, but you have to cut her off. Only time and absence will help you get over her. No other easy way to say it; this plate is done. All you have left with this one is when you're back in town, a random what's up text here and there. You may get lucky and things may have spiraled out of control with her new man, or men. Or she may be in an LTR. At this point, it is out of your hands. You can only do what a man would do...move on and focus on yourself.
 

Hank Moody

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OP, if this is the same girl from your other post then there is nothing you can do. If you have moved and can no longer meet her on a regular basis, then there is no point in continuing to txt her. Pull your time and attention away from her. You will never be able to increase her interest higher than a guy she can go out and see, date, fvck any time she wants. You cannot change the way a person feels or make them do something they don't already want to do. All you can do as a man is change yourself. So do that. Change your mindset, start getting over her. It's not going to be easy, but you have to cut her off. Only time and absence will help you get over her. No other easy way to say it; this plate is done. All you have left with this one is when you're back in town, a random what's up text here and there. You may get lucky and things may have spiraled out of control with her new man, or men. Or she may be in an LTR. At this point, it is out of your hands. You can only do what a man would do...move on and focus on yourself.
The rare post from @spikeanut. Ppreciate it brotha.
 

Paper Crane

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I don't even think about stuff like that. I think these type of questions aren't even relevant without context and don't apply to most dudes who are just looking to have fun like myself.

Now, I won't go ahead and bang someone who's in a relationship. I feel that breaks many bro codes. If she met me to f-ck and mentions she has a boyfriend, she gets left somewhere and has to take that lonely uber ride home or the bus.
 
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