You're a Gen X'er too. Being an incel wasn't as common for Gen X'ers in America as it has been for Millennials in America. You have had a set of circumstances that were shiity too.
1. Being short. You're 5'5". Neil Strauss is 5'6". Neil Strauss was a Gen X'er was who a total chump and close to being involuntarily celibate before he started hanging out with Mystery and other PUAs. Being short has been an obstacle in every generation.
2. All boys high school. Yes, that fuccked you up early on too. I was amazed that your all boys high school didn't have social mixers/dances with nearby all girls high schools.
3. Relocations. You had some relocations even within the USA. You mentioned a short term work contract in Phoenix in the early 2000s for instance. That Phoenix situation was a no win situation, even if you were of adequate height. A 12 month or less work contract won't result in a sustainable relationship.
Relocations don't help the cause at all. Factor #1 is what screwed you over the most. Factor #2 likely stunted your social skills at a key time in your life. Few males make it out of all boy schools unscathed unless they have a good network of females from the K-8 period of their lives.By the time I started moving around for work, I had become a GeoMaxxer.