Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

The problem with DJs

Fruitbat

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2013
Messages
3,258
Reaction score
2,354
Contentious post, but I’ve known a couple of successful - very successful Casanovas in my life. Self-admittedly far more successful than me.

I estimate prior to getting married for the 2nd time, perhaps 30-40 in my life. I knew a few guys doing that in a year. Not just having the looks, career etc, but also the drive, the game and getting a real achievement buzz from it .

Sad fact is, I found myself never wanting to hang with them. Men of this ilk are never the type to see things as “off limits” nor meet you as an equal. They tend to want you there as another admirer and will turn on you if there’s a chance it will put them up the status hierarchy when a woman’s present.

Now, I never wanted my life to be a lone wolf scenario. I don’t want “friends” who stab you that easily.

In the end, I find myself and others drifting away from them. Especially if you have a GF.

Note: this isn’t just a guy with his shyt together. It’s a Casanova. There is a difference. I know some solid guys who can pull tons, but they aren’t motivated in the same way.

In my view, you need to make a choice if you play life this way. You’re going to lose a lot of friends and never really get trusted by those close to you if you choose this route.

Some may view this as player hatred. I’d say there is a distinct dark triad element with these guys and nobody ever gets anything out of an interaction with dark triad - it’s a pointless friendship with no benefits.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,936
Reaction score
12,146
Location
DFW, TX
Contentious post, but I’ve known a couple of successful - very successful Casanovas in my life. Self-admittedly far more successful than me.

I estimate prior to getting married for the 2nd time, perhaps 30-40 in my life. I knew a few guys doing that in a year. Not just having the looks, career etc, but also the drive, the game and getting a real achievement buzz from it .

Sad fact is, I found myself never wanting to hang with them. Men of this ilk are never the type to see things as “off limits” nor meet you as an equal. They tend to want you there as another admirer and will turn on you if there’s a chance it will put them up the status hierarchy when a woman’s present.

Now, I never wanted my life to be a lone wolf scenario. I don’t want “friends” who stab you that easily.

In the end, I find myself and others drifting away from them. Especially if you have a GF.

Note: this isn’t just a guy with his shyt together. It’s a Casanova. There is a difference. I know some solid guys who can pull tons, but they aren’t motivated in the same way.

In my view, you need to make a choice if you play life this way. You’re going to lose a lot of friends and never really get trusted by those close to you if you choose this route.

Some may view this as player hatred. I’d say there is a distinct dark triad element with these guys and nobody ever gets anything out of an interaction with dark triad - it’s a pointless friendship with no benefits.
Some females are dark triads.... If you view individuals as "prey" to be consume im sure there maybe some joint efforts. But they will not help each other in positive ways.
 

Fruitbat

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2013
Messages
3,258
Reaction score
2,354
Some females are dark triads.... If you view individuals as "prey" to be consume im sure there maybe some joint efforts. But they will not help each other in positive ways.
Definitely true

“I’ve always had guy friends mainly”
 

AttackFormation

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2014
Messages
4,126
Reaction score
3,659
Age
31
Location
Sweden
Sounds like the guys you described might simply be narcissists. "Want you there as an admirer" and "will turn on you to boost their status", those sound like trigger warnings to me.
 

Kotaix

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2019
Messages
2,279
Reaction score
2,884
Age
46
You're also going to lose a lot of friends as a matter of course as they get older. They'll have kids, or your way of thinking can change in ways theirs doesn't.

I've known a lot of men who act like this who are close to being incels, people don't have to be successful to have that attitude. They'll throw you under the bus if it makes them look good in other's eyes. These guys are pretentious yet deeply insecure and they tend to be bigoted and lacking in any self-reflection.
 

Fruitbat

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2013
Messages
3,258
Reaction score
2,354
I haven't personally seen this at all.
Example: married dude I know. Solid mate, supposedly. Went away for a wedding (he didn’t take his mrs). Group of single women there. I was with my girl. Immediately changed when women there. Arrogant, unfriendly, basically tried alphaing the whole thing and punking me, to the extent I had to leave and join my wife who had left earlier (not a drinker).

I kind of stole the show with a speech that took me weeks to write and practice. I found out later he was telling people I’d clearly paid to have it written for me, which wasn’t true

Later, I kept an eye on things. My wife was off sat down alone and I could see everything from the lobby, so I was concealed. I saw this guy walk past and give her a long obvious stare. She was the hottest there by far.

That’s the point I decided this friendship was over.

They are out there mate.
 

AttackFormation

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2014
Messages
4,126
Reaction score
3,659
Age
31
Location
Sweden
Example: married dude I know. Solid mate, supposedly. Went away for a wedding (he didn’t take his mrs). Group of single women there. I was with my girl. Immediately changed when women there. Arrogant, unfriendly, basically tried alphaing the whole thing and punking me, to the extent I had to leave and join my wife who had left earlier (not a drinker).

I kind of stole the show with a speech that took me weeks to write and practice. I found out later he was telling people I’d clearly paid to have it written for me, which wasn’t true

Later, I kept an eye on things. My wife was off sat down alone and I could see everything from the lobby, so I was concealed. I saw this guy walk past and give her a long obvious stare. She was the hottest there by far.

That’s the point I decided this friendship was over.

They are out there mate.
Cluster B
 

Roober

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 2, 2016
Messages
2,385
Reaction score
2,122
"no matter how much you like them, there is always that accursed itch of class difference. They may recognize it more than you do. Notice the class difference. It's not about dislike or distaste, but it is enough to make real intimacy impossible."

-Orwell, the road to Wigan pier
 

Fruitbat

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2013
Messages
3,258
Reaction score
2,354
You're also going to lose a lot of friends as a matter of course as they get older. They'll have kids, or your way of thinking can change in ways theirs doesn't.

I've known a lot of men who act like this who are close to being incels, people don't have to be successful to have that attitude. They'll throw you under the bus if it makes them look good in other's eyes. These guys are pretentious yet deeply insecure and they tend to be bigoted and lacking in any self-reflection.
Self reflection is both a blessing and a curse
 
Top