Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

The problem I have with self improvement (rant)

metalwater

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
1,221
Reaction score
1,063
Location
random
That's honestly what I suspected, that it was just a means to showcasing status, albeit false status, in order to land a bunch of dumb bimbos. The women that go for these particular men are literally the female equivalent of them so it all makes sense. It also could just be the social scene/social circle that these particular men fall under and naturally they just emulate all of this behavior to fit in. There are so many fake people in my particular metro, both men and women, and I'm not really sure if it is a unique case or if what I'm seeing is a trend of the times with the current generation. This has been one of the reasons why I've considered relocating but I'm not fully convinced it would necessarily be any different someplace else.
nope, it is the same in all places. albeit with different details. well, that's not exactly true, In some locations the laws are different and feminism is not so far along.

yes those guys are fake, but in some cases they are getting what they want. in some sense that makes them smart....

it goes like this.
- sex is nice, we like it
- if we do what those guys are doing that get some we probably will also

I live in a very different place than you. Lots of fakes, showing off, gaming, status, politics, money, poor, sexy, slutty, pimps, criminals, list goes on. Just the same.

No matter where you go, there you are...

If you haven't already read the book, The Red Queen. Fascinating.
 

EyeOnThePrize

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
885
Reaction score
1,403
Age
31
@sangheilios
I see one hole in your thinking, and I used to have a similar thought pattern when I did nothing but grind all day; that is that you're 'too good' to hang out with certain people.

Success isn't measured by the amount of things you can't tolerate. I would argue it's the opposite, that a successful man can hang out with anyone and draw value from or create value for any encounter. This man is next to impossible to upset. Success is being flexible and having the ability to turn any event into a good time.

You may think you're too good to hang out with someone or a group, but you're most likely assuming what you don't know about them is nothing noteworthy. When they inevitably show a skill that exceeds yours, you're forced to restructure this world view of 'being at the top'. You realize there are all kinds of 'tops' and that what you prize may be holding you back from reaching some of them.

Most importantly their flex reminds you of your flaws and shortcomings. Maybe you're subconsciously avoiding this reality?

Challenge yourself to be open to these people you think are 'beneath you'. There is something they can offer you, whether you see it or not.

You also have more power by networking and mingling, not closing yourself off to everyone except a select few (that you may choose very poorly anyway). You may find a friend annoying, but they may be a social butterfly that provide a consistent stream of new connections.

You become untouchable by being a master of social judo. And you can only become a social master through exposure, not isolation.

Personally I've found that having few connections makes it easy to be very critical of existing friends and new ones. I see this as a symptom of social appetite, and possibly being too hard on yourself.

When you have many connections you simply don't have thoughts like what you've described. There are so many connections, so many options, that there is nothing to complain about. There is a group for every mood. It's certainly not lonely, and you're more accepting of others because your wide array of interactions keep you socially skilled.

@Pan87
Success is an extremely subjective thing. Red pill literature can say marriage is simping, but that's rudimentary logic. Personally I think impregnating a high value woman and raising a bright kid is the most alpha/dominant thing a man can do(intersex wise). If a marriage increases the odds of a healthy family/child, I'll do it. I really don't care about fuucking as many women as possible, that's very easy to do and holds no real constructive value.

I'm surprised you think most alphas and masculine men are in prison. Just what exactly do you think masculinity is?
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
2,600
Reaction score
2,656
I can cite a handful of men in my area that post all of this crap on instagram, showcasing a life of status, wealth and success. However, none of these men are actually wealthy and instead they created this artificial image through social media. I'm not entirely sure what the goal of that is.
Getting laid is the goal of it.
 

Fruitbat

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2013
Messages
2,530
Reaction score
1,642
You're married, my friend. You are a Beta by the very definition of what it means to be Beta.

That's not even my opinion. It's objective fact. Married = Beta. You got married because you were in scarcity mindset, she probably demanded it from you, you freaked out and got married to her to keep your big scary Boss Girl happy.

To answer your point - if you're relying on other people to get you women, which appears to be what you are advocating, then that's Beta too.
All the people who run my company are married. They are far from being Beta males.

Certainly they would be too busy hiring, firing, leading and earning seven figure incomes to spend their time on an online forum, insulting other people because they’re angry about something.

Have some respect for goodness sake.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
14,588
Reaction score
6,981
As for the comments about wealth and women. I honestly am not really materialistic and if I don't disclose any of this information people would assume I'm comfortable but average if that makes sense. I drive a Toyota, I live in a nice house in a good area but not one that immediately says wealthy.
Well, that's just smart. Reminds me of The Millionaire Next Door book. The way I was raised, I've always considered my finances to be completely personal, and I keep that to myself. But the main benefit I was thinking about with regard to money is freedom, and being able to participate in interests and hobbies, not using it to peacock or flash wealth.
 

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

sangheilios

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 25, 2018
Messages
1,377
Reaction score
1,092
Age
31
@sangheilios
I see one hole in your thinking, and I used to have a similar thought pattern when I did nothing but grind all day; that is that you're 'too good' to hang out with certain people.

Success isn't measured by the amount of things you can't tolerate. I would argue it's the opposite, that a successful man can hang out with anyone and draw value from or create value for any encounter. This man is next to impossible to upset. Success is being flexible and having the ability to turn any event into a good time.

You may think you're too good to hang out with someone or a group, but you're most likely assuming what you don't know about them is nothing noteworthy. When they inevitably show a skill that exceeds yours, you're forced to restructure this world view of 'being at the top'. You realize there are all kinds of 'tops' and that what you prize may be holding you back from reaching some of them.

Most importantly their flex reminds you of your flaws and shortcomings. Maybe you're subconsciously avoiding this reality?

Challenge yourself to be open to these people you think are 'beneath you'. There is something they can offer you, whether you see it or not.

You also have more power by networking and mingling, not closing yourself off to everyone except a select few (that you may choose very poorly anyway). You may find a friend annoying, but they may be a social butterfly that provide a consistent stream of new connections.

You become untouchable by being a master of social judo. And you can only become a social master through exposure, not isolation.

Personally I've found that having few connections makes it easy to be very critical of existing friends and new ones. I see this as a symptom of social appetite, and possibly being too hard on yourself.

When you have many connections you simply don't have thoughts like what you've described. There are so many connections, so many options, that there is nothing to complain about. There is a group for every mood. It's certainly not lonely, and you're more accepting of others because your wide array of interactions keep you socially skilled.

@Pan87
Success is an extremely subjective thing. Red pill literature can say marriage is simping, but that's rudimentary logic. Personally I think impregnating a high value woman and raising a bright kid is the most alpha/dominant thing a man can do(intersex wise). If a marriage increases the odds of a healthy family/child, I'll do it. I really don't care about fuucking as many women as possible, that's very easy to do and holds no real constructive value.

I'm surprised you think most alphas and masculine men are in prison. Just what exactly do you think masculinity is?
I wouldn't say that I necessarily see them as inferior but I do feel that there isn't really all that much I personally can gain from spending time with these people. I have a lot going on right now so I don't have much free time and I don't really experience loneliness to the point where I NEED to be around people in a social setting. I can think of a few people like this, where they can't be alone at all.

However, I do agree with you that having social connections is helpful in many ways and can open many doors that may otherwise not be available. I personally have a difficult time accepting this because most of the accomplishments I've had were based upon my own efforts, decisions, etc. I feel that certain types of people hold me back, which was why I mentioned picking up on the passive aggressive remarks, etc., and it was better for me to distance myself. This has been a trend my entire life where I genuinely believe that these other people feel threatened or insecure around me so they resort to put downs, etc. This is the reason why I've become highly selective with who I spend time with and as I mentioned on here earlier it is becoming increasingly difficult to find people that are on my level. This is especially the case for dating/relationships.
 

sangheilios

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 25, 2018
Messages
1,377
Reaction score
1,092
Age
31
Well, that's just smart. Reminds me of The Millionaire Next Door book. The way I was raised, I've always considered my finances to be completely personal, and I keep that to myself. But the main benefit I was thinking about with regard to money is freedom, and being able to participate in interests and hobbies, not using it to peacock or flash wealth.
For me the biggest reason for pursuing wealth was essentially freedom. I never wanted a life where I had to commute many hours a week in gridlock traffic to some b.s job that I had no passion or interest for and endlessly do that for years. On top of that, the idea of being stuck with that job and barely being able to support myself and enjoy my life is not at all appealing. This is something that I picked up on when I was around 20 years old.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
14,588
Reaction score
6,981
I wouldn't say that I necessarily see them as inferior but I do feel that there isn't really all that much I personally can gain from spending time with these people.
"Every man is my superior in that I may learn from him"
― Thomas Carlyle
 

EyeOnThePrize

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
885
Reaction score
1,403
Age
31
However, I do agree with you that having social connections is helpful in many ways and can open many doors that may otherwise not be available. I personally have a difficult time accepting this because most of the accomplishments I've had were based upon my own efforts, decisions, etc.
I mean all your accomplishments are due to your own choices. It doesn't sound like you've leveraged your network, or you otherwise haven't fostered a beneficial one, so it's not fair to compare those fruits to your solo ones. It should be obvious that an orchestrated group can always accomplish more. And that a healthy network can inspire your best solo work.

I feel that certain types of people hold me back, which was why I mentioned picking up on the passive aggressive remarks, etc., and it was better for me to distance myself. This has been a trend my entire life where I genuinely believe that these other people feel threatened or insecure around me so they resort to put downs, etc. This is the reason why I've become highly selective with who I spend time with and as I mentioned on here earlier it is becoming increasingly difficult to find people that are on my level. This is especially the case for dating/relationships.
Sure certain people hold you back, just like certain people can propel your success beyond your wildest dreams. My point is many times these two qualities come from the same person. It may feel like someone is holding you back, but with more time you see that you're simply different, both better in your own field.

You may find a very smart, rich, and successful man that shares pearls of wisdom with you, but also occasionally undermines your character due to his own insecurities. If you cut everyone out that had a quirk like this, you'd lead a very lonely life and miss many many opportunities.

As you alienate yourself, your social skills atrophy, which will in turn make you even more selective with people. You may bs yourself that you're superior to everyone, instead of facing the fact that your social life and empathy are severely neglected.

Take this as a warning, feeling like others are not up to your standards and struggling to find circles you enjoy puts lots of unnecessary pressure on yourself. It's self fulfilling in that people will pick up on your critical eye/high horse mindset, and throw passive aggression your way. Who likes to feel inferior? To feel like they're constantly being judged and weighed? Enjoying your time with others requires no **** measuring, and shouldn't be some eggshell walking exercise. It should be freeing, fun, a time to relax and be goofy.[/QUOTE]
 
Top