I will respond in bold
My first post in this forum after being a long timer watcher and viewer of some of the excellent threads on here that have helped me no end.
I am day 53 into 100% NC from my ex. We are the same age 48 - both fit and attractive. We were loving and committed and had a great time whilst we were together for two years. However, during those two years we had two break ups of a month each time. She started to get distant both times a week before the dumping for no reason I could see - completely out of the blue. I'm very aware of my actions and if I fvcked up I would say here guys, but I didn't. I loved her kids and mom. Her and her kids loved me and my kids and family. Everything superb and wonderful. I was helpful, kind, affectionate and generous to her. I was not a doormat. We had great sex, orgasms, BJ’s etc to the very end but she just bailed out of the relationship completely out of the blue when things were perfect. No explanations. Just dumped. After some time apart she’d apologize crying, telling me she was silly how could she let a man of my quality just go like that. Begged for forgiveness. Eventually, after she promised to change, we gravitated back together and things were great again.
She did this a third time end of April. Text dumped me again AS A 48 YEAR OLD!!!!! Not the maturity to discuss it with me. So, 3 times hey? I hope this will be the last you tolerate. I told her to fvck off and leave me alone and I threw some of the romantic cards she had given me back though her letterbox in tears. I wrote her an email two days after, explaining my position BIg mistake. (in the absence of getting an opportunity to put my thoughts forward) but she emailed back saying she will not read it and she would appreciate no further contact. I told her that was rich coming from her after it was HER who kept reaching out to me! Now you see why it was a mistake. Never ever chase someone who dumps you
So 53 days in. She lives a mile from me and I have seen her a couple of times at a distance and it put me back for the day. She has not reached out to me and I am sure as heck not going to reach out to her. Yet, I feel somehow she will. You should not care, and really, you should hope she doesn't. She knows how good I was to her, she told me that so many times. And still....she dumped you 3 times. Why would you possibly want more ?Her son texted me the other night saying he saw me out running and hoped I didn’t think he blanked me (I never saw him!) because he and his wife and daughter liked me a lot he said. He said nothing else than that just some chit chat about biking. He sees his mother (my ex) two or three times a week as they are very close. Could they be putting out feelers I wonder? Did my ex put him up to it to try and steadily break the ice? Who knows? Let's hope not - after all, she dumped you - not once, 3 times.
Don’t mean to sound silly but I am confident, I am good looking, have a successful career, make a lot of money I am fit and look good and I am not desperate. This tells me you can do so much better. I have been dating other women though not hooked up with any as yet even though a few of them fancied me big time. I confess to still having very strong feelings towards my ex, despite the treatment at the hands of her; I've never known things to be so good when they were UP. We were just so amazing. Lots of other women can give you this same experience - better even.
She was prescribed Prozac for depression by her doctor but never took it last year. Makes me think she has Borderline PD - it seems to fit - the sudden changes in behavior.
Anyway, these issues are live and well with people who are older. I will never reach out to her. If she contacts me I would listen objectively to what she says. Personally, I wouldn't. To what end? She dumps you maybe a bit "bored"? goes out and maybe bangs 5 or 6 guys over a couple months, realizes they pump and dump her......and how good she had it with you. Reaches out. You fall for it. Back together, amazing.....until she changes her mind again. She dumps you maybe a bit "bored"? goes out and maybe bangs 5 or 6 guys over a couple months, realizes they pump and dump her......and how good she had it with you. Reaches out. You fall for it. Back together, amazing.....until she changes her mind again.
See a pattern here? Why do you hate yourself so much you would tolerate this?
What do you guys think? Encourage me or kick some sense into me!!! Thanks for reading.