My Ex messaged me about a few days ago (3 weeks NC). I was weak and replied, didnt give a inch in the responses I gave but still I probably gave her the validation to move on that she needed. So be it, perhaps it was the last act of kindness I could offer.
To your point though this girl broke up with me over the 2.5 year relationship so many times I couldnt even tell you (average once a week). I took her back WAY WAY beyond what I should have which just re-enforced the idea that breaking up for her was acceptable. In someways I wish I was stronger and stood my ground 2 years ago but to be fair the sex was next level.
Hard to regret with that on tap. To be honest I'm so close to ringing her right now for another round. I wont but man I want to.
This is why i am a firm believer in you give a girl 1 chance. One. If she blows that chance she is history. Remember you are GIVING HER A CHANCE TO BE WITH YOU. You are the prize not her.
When you give them multiple chances you are teaching them to disrespect you. Bottom line, you are rewarding bad behaviour. When you reward bad behaviour you get more bad behaviour.
Sex with other girls will come along when you know you are the prize. Great sex will come along, and saying stuff like "the sex with her was next level," is putting her on a pedastle, you are making her the prize and this is why she disrespected you by dumping you weekly. She knew she could because you always took her back. You were in her frame and she was in control of the relationship. The mans job is to lead. When women lead the relationship turns into a schitt show. Also Never tell a chick how great they are in bed. Leave them wondering. It will make them second guess everything and they won't know they have you wrapped around their finger like your ex did.
If you are with a chick who suddenly shifts in attitude or goes colder than normal or even breaks up with you, you walk away and on to the next one. When they reach out breadcrumbing looking for free attention free validation at your epense remember, " i am too busy for this. I am moving forward. Not backwards."
If they call. Ignore. Delete the voice mail
If they text. Ignore. Delete.
If they email. Ignore delete
If they reach out in social media, block.
If you run into them on the street=
Her" hey i've been trying to contact you but its been impossible."
You " yeah my life has exploded! I've been crazy busy i have to make priorities and get to things when i have time."
Her " why are you so busy what's going on"
You" work, and play and family. A lot to do."
Her "maybe we should..........."
You - looking at the time " hey sorry to cut you off but i have a ton of stuff to get done before my date tonight. Bye!"
Then you walk away. Do not reach out to her do not recripricte any future trys from her.