The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[dude99]

After one month of no contact she calls me at 4:30 AM saying she’s drunk and wants to talk to me. ( Calls me from her friends phone bcs i blocked her everywhere) Got pissed, woke up told her there’s nothing to talk about, we are not getting back together. She’s all like no I’m happy rn blah blah i just wanna talk to you, can hear bitchy friend in the background saying ****. Bang i hang up. Get call back minute later, “why are u so rude i just wanna talk to you blah blah drunk talk. So i say go ahead talk. Random bla bla so i tell her look u wanna talk, call back when you’re sober. Get this, she says she’s not drunk proceeds to ask her friend i only drank 2 ****tails right? hear them laughing so i get tired hang up again. And block the friends number. She starts sending me text messages “Please i just want to talk” “Please pick up” I mute the chat and go back to sleep. (No idea how she managed to contact me on whatsapl, clearly remember blocking her )
Afterwerds find out she already tried calling me like 30 times that night through whatsapp.

Anyway, I got over her already since a few days ago. After this drunk call even more so. Feels good. Honestly i dont even know what I saw in her. Girls like these arent relationship material.
At this stage I kind of pity her, she’s going down the drain and even though I dont want to get back together with her, I somehow feel responsible.

Just hang up.

 

[justanub]

Just hang up.

Obviously, but now I see she changed her number. Trying to contact me again. Get this, now she’s telling me that she’s been meeting guys way better than me but she just can’t seem to talk to them because all she thinks about is me. Trying to make me jealous? Lmao

 

[justanub]

Obviously, but now I see she changed her number. Trying to contact me again. Get this, now she’s telling me that she’s been meeting guys way better than me but she just can’t seem to talk to them because all she thinks about is me. Trying to make me jealous? Lmao

She ended up asking me out for a drink, because she didnt like how things ended between us. One drink led to another and..
Anyway long story short I gained a fwb.

 

[SoSuave666]

I got dumped a week ago after a 6 month relationship... via text. Was gutted. I was out with friends when it occurred. Texted back and forth, then blocked, after trying to end amicably. My heart was broken.

Relented, unblocked a few days later when my head was together, just wanted to reiterate the amicable ending. She offered the cliched 'lets be friends'. Said I would like that. Two days later, she texted me, said she was thinking about me, and a side health issue, she would support me visiting the doctor, and we could have a drink and talk later. Thanked her for that.

Thinking of texting her Tuesday, for a catch-up Thursday, just to see the reaction. If I get brushed off, well, then, thats it.

I know that this breaks the 'no-contact rule', however, I really did fall for this woman.

When someone tells you they do not want to be with you, believe them. Let her go and move on.

 

[niamul21]

THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - Daydream Enginner

Hey Guys and girls,


Let's start the No Contact Challenge. This has personally helped me 2 years ago, and i have seen many members asking for "how to get my ex back", and after breakup questions. The idea is a simple one, for 60 days, you will not talk or communicate with the girl that bazooka your heart. In any way, form, or communication, and every time you feel like saying something to her, you will write what you were going to tell her, AND/OR why you want to contact her, in this thread instead. This has been field tested by me, and it works from selling your soul to the she-devil.

You are going to do No Contact for yourself, you need to get away from here and move on. You will feel a transformation at the end of your challenge, and the ex that broke your heart, won't be a parasite in your mind anymore. You might even get your ex's attraction back, but you will be busy thinking about other girls to give her a second chance.

Let's begin,
Here are the rules:

1. First of all, before you do anything, read these articles:

The "Just Got Dumped" GUIDE
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=155594

The Ultimate Break Up Guide…
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=38886

and....

No Contact - The Guide



...continued.

I also do agree with you here.

 

[Bethatsocialguy]

Too be honest. Isn't getting oneitis part of life and what most of us brought here in the first place? I got oneitis when i was 18 25 and atm at 29. But everytime i got better afterwards and i get better girls, even though it really really sucks after the breakup. But for me, its really hard too not get complacent when life gets tough, but everytime i got complacent, i got dumped. So i am working on that, although i do question sometimes if its ever really possible too never be complacent again and always spin plates. Life gets in the way sometimes, all about acceptance for me.

Life does get in the way sometimes but it is how you handle it which will maintain attraction. Be decisive, be sure of your decisions and trust in yourself and women will follow

 

[Bethatsocialguy]

When someone tells you they do not want to be with you, believe them. Let her go and move on.

Agreed. If a girl blocks you too, that is her saying "I dont want to talk to you now or in the future." It could be her emotions taking over decision making but that is not an excuse. A girl who has better control of her emotions is much more attractive as well as wifey material

 

[Bethatsocialguy]

She ended up asking me out for a drink, because she didnt like how things ended between us. One drink led to another and..
Anyway long story short I gained a fwb.

Make sure you manage that FWB benefits and don't get complacent. Tell her the boundaries and don't accept her to come around or go to her when she wants. Do it when you want but don't do it all the time. Also make sure you are actively looking for other women too.

 

[DarwinTaurus]

I don't know what's going on.

My ex contacted my on my Dad's birthday, two weeks ago (she broke up with me a few weeks prior to that). It was my Dad's first birthday since his passing, in early May. She said she was thinking of me. After thanking her for thoughts, left it at, and decided not to contact.

9 days later, she texted me out of the blue, while I was watching my friends band. Told her I was doing great, which I was. Then, since then, we've been texting pretty much every day. She has been giving me compliments, etc. She told me that when she was on the pill, it was messing with her hormones, and I think in hindsight she was going a bit crazy on it. Now she is off it. I get the sense she may be feeling regret over the break-up. Not sure what she wants, or what I should do at this point. I'm not going to pursue her. If she wants to rekindle the relationship, then, in my opinion, it is up to her to talk about that, as she was the one to break up with me.

 

[Barrister]

I don't know what's going on.

My ex contacted my on my Dad's birthday, two weeks ago (she broke up with me a few weeks prior to that). It was my Dad's first birthday since his passing, in early May. She said she was thinking of me. After thanking her for thoughts, left it at, and decided not to contact.

9 days later, she texted me out of the blue, while I was watching my friends band. Told her I was doing great, which I was. Then, since then, we've been texting pretty much every day. She has been giving me compliments, etc. She told me that when she was on the pill, it was messing with her hormones, and I think in hindsight she was going a bit crazy on it. Now she is off it. I get the sense she may be feeling regret over the break-up. Not sure what she wants, or what I should do at this point. I'm not going to pursue her. If she wants to rekindle the relationship, then, in my opinion, it is up to her to talk about that, as she was the one to break up with me.

This is called "bread-crumbing" and it sounds like you are falling for it. You provide instant validation for her by continuing to interact/respond to her. If you continue going down this path and thinking that your LTR can be rekindled, expect your difficulties to multiply tenfold. My advice is that next time she texts you you either (A) tell her that you appreciated her reaching out on your dad's birthday but think it is best that you go separate ways for good or (B) don't respond at all. If you don't feel you can bring yourself to tell her what you need to in option A - go with B. But do stop talking to her and putting on rose-colored glasses and thinking it must have been the pill that made your relationship fall apart.

Newsflash: it wasn't the pill.

 

[dude99]

I don't know what's going on.

My ex contacted my on my Dad's birthday, two weeks ago (she broke up with me a few weeks prior to that). It was my Dad's first birthday since his passing, in early May. She said she was thinking of me. After thanking her for thoughts, left it at, and decided not to contact.

9 days later, she texted me out of the blue, while I was watching my friends band. Told her I was doing great, which I was. Then, since then, we've been texting pretty much every day. She has been giving me compliments, etc. She told me that when she was on the pill, it was messing with her hormones, and I think in hindsight she was going a bit crazy on it. Now she is off it. I get the sense she may be feeling regret over the break-up. Not sure what she wants, or what I should do at this point. I'm not going to pursue her. If she wants to rekindle the relationship, then, in my opinion, it is up to her to talk about that, as she was the one to break up with me.

She broke up with you to go after or be with another guy. That didn't work out and now she is dropping bread crumbs to see if she can get some validation and free attention. She may regret breaking up with you but actions have consequences. I don't buy the BS about the pill being the problem. Breaking up with someome is something chicks think about for a long time so she had the plan to end things for a long time. If it was hormones then she would also have had moments where her hormomes would be telling her breaking up with you would be a big mistake.

What she has is regret. The grass was not greener, the sugar wasn't sweeter the sky wasn't bluer. When reality sunk in she realized she facked up.

You need to be too busy for her. All you are doing is validating her and when she yanks the rug out again because she will, you will be left with nothing but hurt.

Get busy, go after new women. She will do this to you again. Do not let her.

 

[DarwinTaurus]

She broke up with you to go after or be with another guy. That didn't work out and now she is dropping bread crumbs to see if she can get some validation and free attention. She may regret breaking up with you but actions have consequences. I don't buy the BS about the pill being the problem. Breaking up with someome is something chicks think about for a long time so she had the plan to end things for a long time. If it was hormones then she would also have had moments where her hormomes would be telling her breaking up with you would be a big mistake.

What she has is regret. The grass was not greener, the sugar wasn't sweeter the sky wasn't bluer. When reality sunk in she realized she facked up.

You need to be too busy for her. All you are doing is validating her and when she yanks the rug out again because she will, you will be left with nothing but hurt.

Get busy, go after new women. She will do this to you again. Do not let her.

Bit more of a backstory, she is going through a divorce (15yr marriage), which will finalize in August. She has two kids, works full time, plus has taken on full time study to change career. I think it became a bit too much, and I was the lowest priority. I don't think she is seeing anyone else. I'm only the 3rd person she has ever been with. 1st was a Lesbian relationship when she was young, then she met her soon to be former husband... and me.

 

[Barrister]

Bit more of a backstory, she is going through a divorce (15yr marriage), which will finalize in August. She has two kids, works full time, plus has taken on full time study to change career. I think it became a bit too much, and I was the lowest priority. I don't think she is seeing anyone else. I'm only the 3rd person she has ever been with. 1st was a Lesbian relationship when she was young, then she met her soon to be former husband... and me.

Not exactly the foundation for a successful relationship. I would tell you that you should have known better - but I have also been in a few spots that I am not proud of. Regardless, you are definitely better off moving on. I thought that even before you gave us the red-flag past she has. Good luck, brother.

 

[dude99]

Bit more of a backstory, she is going through a divorce (15yr marriage), which will finalize in August. She has two kids, works full time, plus has taken on full time study to change career. I think it became a bit too much, and I was the lowest priority. I don't think she is seeing anyone else. I'm only the 3rd person she has ever been with. 1st was a Lesbian relationship when she was young, then she met her soon to be former husband... and me.

Thanks for more background, you said a magic sentence in there that told me everything i needed to know.

"I was the lowest priority."

This tells me the relationship meant nothing to her. So when someone makes you their lowest priority, they become your lowest priority.

You are now too busy for her. She blew her chance. If you entertain her breadcrumbing now you will be teaching her, it is ok to do it to you again and again.

Stop going the extra mile for people who won't cross the street for you.

 

[DarwinTaurus]

Thanks for more background, you said a magic sentence in there that told me everything i needed to know.

"I was the lowest priority."

This tells me the relationship meant nothing to her. So when someone makes you their lowest priority, they become your lowest priority.

You are now too busy for her. She blew her chance. If you entertain her breadcrumbing now you will be teaching her, it is ok to do it to you again and again.

Stop going the extra mile for people who won't cross the street for you.

It still hurts. Perhaps I had oneitis. First relationship in a long time. We would usually see each other around 3 times a week. When we were with each other, it was amazing. And then all of a sudden, it just got too hard (I do think the final decision was a bit of a hormonal meltdown), and it was over. Yet a week before that, she gave me a gold keychain with an inscription stating she loved me, and the date we met. Bit of a headf!ck.

 

[Foe]

You are now too busy for her. She blew her chance. If you entertain her breadcrumbing now you will be teaching her, it is ok to do it to you again and again.

My Ex messaged me about a few days ago (3 weeks NC). I was weak and replied, didnt give a inch in the responses I gave but still I probably gave her the validation to move on that she needed. So be it, perhaps it was the last act of kindness I could offer.

To your point though this girl broke up with me over the 2.5 year relationship so many times I couldnt even tell you (average once a week). I took her back WAY WAY beyond what I should have which just re-enforced the idea that breaking up for her was acceptable. In someways I wish I was stronger and stood my ground 2 years ago but to be fair the sex was next level.

Hard to regret with that on tap. To be honest I'm so close to ringing her right now for another round. I wont but man I want to.

 

[dude99]

My Ex messaged me about a few days ago (3 weeks NC). I was weak and replied, didnt give a inch in the responses I gave but still I probably gave her the validation to move on that she needed. So be it, perhaps it was the last act of kindness I could offer.

To your point though this girl broke up with me over the 2.5 year relationship so many times I couldnt even tell you (average once a week). I took her back WAY WAY beyond what I should have which just re-enforced the idea that breaking up for her was acceptable. In someways I wish I was stronger and stood my ground 2 years ago but to be fair the sex was next level.

Hard to regret with that on tap. To be honest I'm so close to ringing her right now for another round. I wont but man I want to.

This is why i am a firm believer in you give a girl 1 chance. One. If she blows that chance she is history. Remember you are GIVING HER A CHANCE TO BE WITH YOU. You are the prize not her.

When you give them multiple chances you are teaching them to disrespect you. Bottom line, you are rewarding bad behaviour. When you reward bad behaviour you get more bad behaviour.

Sex with other girls will come along when you know you are the prize. Great sex will come along, and saying stuff like "the sex with her was next level," is putting her on a pedastle, you are making her the prize and this is why she disrespected you by dumping you weekly. She knew she could because you always took her back. You were in her frame and she was in control of the relationship. The mans job is to lead. When women lead the relationship turns into a schitt show. Also Never tell a chick how great they are in bed. Leave them wondering. It will make them second guess everything and they won't know they have you wrapped around their finger like your ex did.

If you are with a chick who suddenly shifts in attitude or goes colder than normal or even breaks up with you, you walk away and on to the next one. When they reach out breadcrumbing looking for free attention free validation at your epense remember, " i am too busy for this. I am moving forward. Not backwards."

If they call. Ignore. Delete the voice mail
If they text. Ignore. Delete.
If they email. Ignore delete
If they reach out in social media, block.
If you run into them on the street=
Her" hey i've been trying to contact you but its been impossible."
You " yeah my life has exploded! I've been crazy busy i have to make priorities and get to things when i have time."
Her " why are you so busy what's going on"
You" work, and play and family. A lot to do."
Her "maybe we should..........."
You - looking at the time " hey sorry to cut you off but i have a ton of stuff to get done before my date tonight. Bye!"

Then you walk away. Do not reach out to her do not recripricte any future trys from her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Bit more of a backstory, she is going through a divorce (15yr marriage), which will finalize in August. She has two kids, works full time, plus has taken on full time study to change career. I think it became a bit too much, and I was the lowest priority. I don't think she is seeing anyone else. I'm only the 3rd person she has ever been with. 1st was a Lesbian relationship when she was young, then she met her soon to be former husband... and me.

Sounds like she was at a stressful time in her life. Sometimes in those times people end up withdrawing and pushing people away because it just becomes too much to deal with.

Perhaps that was the case, perhaps not. I would tread carefully here. She could be trying to make herself feel better about breaking up with you. Or she could be feeling regret at how things ended.

Perhaps she felt you were the right person to help her through this phase of her life but not the right person to move into the next phase of her life with and was feeling stuck. Like she couldn't move forward with you for whatever reason and only could do so if she broke up with you.

Either way, you constantly talking to her is making things easier for her and not serving you in any way.

 

[DarwinTaurus]

Sounds like she was at a stressful time in her life. Sometimes in those times people end up withdrawing and pushing people away because it just becomes too much to deal with.

Perhaps that was the case, perhaps not. I would tread carefully here. She could be trying to make herself feel better about breaking up with you. Or she could be feeling regret at how things ended.

Perhaps she felt you were the right person to help her through this phase of her life but not the right person to move into the next phase of her life with and was feeling stuck. Like she couldn't move forward with you for whatever reason and only could do so if she broke up with you.

Either way, you constantly talking to her is making things easier for her and not serving you in any way.

Thanks for your thoughts. She has put her two kids through counseling, as I believe they are finding the divorce hard. When my Ex moved out of the family home, her former-husband-to-be moved his new Girlfriend in the very next day. I think the kids are finding it tough with the Dad's new partner. The kids didn't know about me, but I think the eldest suspected. My Ex said she just wants to get her boys into their teenage years. So, I'm not sure if it was 'me' per se, but just the circumstances...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Thanks for your thoughts. She has put her two kids through counseling, as I believe they are finding the divorce hard. When my Ex moved out of the family home, her former-husband-to-be moved his new Girlfriend in the very next day. I think the kids are finding it tough with the Dad's new partner. The kids didn't know about me, but I think the eldest suspected. My Ex said she just wants to get her boys into their teenage years. So, I'm not sure if it was 'me' per se, but just the circumstances...

Yeah that's the toughest part of the divorce...the Dad is probably also using the kids as pawns against her and making life difficult...

The stress is probably overwhelming at this point and she can't deal with also balancing you so she had to do what she felt was the only thing she could under the circumstances.