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The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

spred

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True but it’s hard to constantly remind yourself. Sometimes I wish it weren’t so, that this one is different or maybe that I should be different. Yeah no, time will heal this. Biggest lesson I learned from this is I should always be spinning plates oneitis is real and it’s ****ed up. Can’t believe I got oneitis at the age of 26 also after having had sex with over 40 women.
I got oneitis when I was 18, 30 and now 44. Meeting orher women and knowing your value are solutions.
 

Raggendecanton

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I got oneitis when I was 18, 30 and now 44. Meeting orher women and knowing your value are solutions.
Too be honest. Isn't getting oneitis part of life and what most of us brought here in the first place? I got oneitis when i was 18 25 and atm at 29. But everytime i got better afterwards and i get better girls, even though it really really sucks after the breakup. But for me, its really hard too not get complacent when life gets tough, but everytime i got complacent, i got dumped. So i am working on that, although i do question sometimes if its ever really possible too never be complacent again and always spin plates. Life gets in the way sometimes, all about acceptance for me.
 

justanub

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Quick update; after 3 weeks of NC I feel ashamed I stayed with her for so long. We briefly got back together the 2nd week however the second she showed an ounce of disrespect I reinitiated NC. Now that I am able to think clearly, all the ****ed up things she did is coming to the surface. No way am I getting back together with her no matter what.
Anyway it feels good to be single, working out hitting up new chicks and old contacts as well, all will be good boys.
 

BuckledWheel

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Having broken up with one of the hottest girls I ever went out with & I mean she would have done anything for me. She was starting to have the “where are we going with this relationship” I wouldn’t commit & she called it a day. I cut all ties, blocked my number from her. At the time I never used social media. Fast forward 5 years I get a message on IM fb with this “Hi how are you, do you remember me?” I checked her out on social media & she still looked pretty good & had a kid in tow. I never answered her message. It’s best to forget these chicks. Let someone else deal with their emotions. If it happens be resolute & stick to it.
 

justanub

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After one month of no contact she calls me at 4:30 AM saying she’s drunk and wants to talk to me. ( Calls me from her friends phone bcs i blocked her everywhere) Got pissed, woke up told her there’s nothing to talk about, we are not getting back together. She’s all like no I’m happy rn blah blah i just wanna talk to you, can hear bitchy friend in the background saying ****. Bang i hang up. Get call back minute later, “why are u so rude i just wanna talk to you blah blah drunk talk. So i say go ahead talk. Random bla bla so i tell her look u wanna talk, call back when you’re sober. Get this, she says she’s not drunk proceeds to ask her friend i only drank 2 ****tails right? hear them laughing so i get tired hang up again. And block the friends number. She starts sending me text messages “Please i just want to talk” “Please pick up” I mute the chat and go back to sleep. (No idea how she managed to contact me on whatsapl, clearly remember blocking her )
Afterwerds find out she already tried calling me like 30 times that night through whatsapp.

Anyway, I got over her already since a few days ago. After this drunk call even more so. Feels good. Honestly i dont even know what I saw in her. Girls like these arent relationship material.
At this stage I kind of pity her, she’s going down the drain and even though I dont want to get back together with her, I somehow feel responsible.
 

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DarwinTaurus

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I got dumped a week ago after a 6 month relationship... via text. Was gutted. I was out with friends when it occurred. Texted back and forth, then blocked, after trying to end amicably. My heart was broken.

Relented, unblocked a few days later when my head was together, just wanted to reiterate the amicable ending. She offered the cliched 'lets be friends'. Said I would like that. Two days later, she texted me, said she was thinking about me, and a side health issue, she would support me visiting the doctor, and we could have a drink and talk later. Thanked her for that.

Thinking of texting her Tuesday, for a catch-up Thursday, just to see the reaction. If I get brushed off, well, then, thats it.

I know that this breaks the 'no-contact rule', however, I really did fall for this woman.
 

dude99

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After one month of no contact she calls me at 4:30 AM saying she’s drunk and wants to talk to me. ( Calls me from her friends phone bcs i blocked her everywhere) Got pissed, woke up told her there’s nothing to talk about, we are not getting back together. She’s all like no I’m happy rn blah blah i just wanna talk to you, can hear bitchy friend in the background saying ****. Bang i hang up. Get call back minute later, “why are u so rude i just wanna talk to you blah blah drunk talk. So i say go ahead talk. Random bla bla so i tell her look u wanna talk, call back when you’re sober. Get this, she says she’s not drunk proceeds to ask her friend i only drank 2 ****tails right? hear them laughing so i get tired hang up again. And block the friends number. She starts sending me text messages “Please i just want to talk” “Please pick up” I mute the chat and go back to sleep. (No idea how she managed to contact me on whatsapl, clearly remember blocking her )
Afterwerds find out she already tried calling me like 30 times that night through whatsapp.

Anyway, I got over her already since a few days ago. After this drunk call even more so. Feels good. Honestly i dont even know what I saw in her. Girls like these arent relationship material.
At this stage I kind of pity her, she’s going down the drain and even though I dont want to get back together with her, I somehow feel responsible.
Just hang up.
 

justanub

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Just hang up.
Obviously, but now I see she changed her number. Trying to contact me again. Get this, now she’s telling me that she’s been meeting guys way better than me but she just can’t seem to talk to them because all she thinks about is me. Trying to make me jealous? Lmao
 

justanub

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Obviously, but now I see she changed her number. Trying to contact me again. Get this, now she’s telling me that she’s been meeting guys way better than me but she just can’t seem to talk to them because all she thinks about is me. Trying to make me jealous? Lmao
She ended up asking me out for a drink, because she didnt like how things ended between us. One drink led to another and..
Anyway long story short I gained a fwb.
 

SoSuave666

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I got dumped a week ago after a 6 month relationship... via text. Was gutted. I was out with friends when it occurred. Texted back and forth, then blocked, after trying to end amicably. My heart was broken.

Relented, unblocked a few days later when my head was together, just wanted to reiterate the amicable ending. She offered the cliched 'lets be friends'. Said I would like that. Two days later, she texted me, said she was thinking about me, and a side health issue, she would support me visiting the doctor, and we could have a drink and talk later. Thanked her for that.

Thinking of texting her Tuesday, for a catch-up Thursday, just to see the reaction. If I get brushed off, well, then, thats it.

I know that this breaks the 'no-contact rule', however, I really did fall for this woman.
When someone tells you they do not want to be with you, believe them. Let her go and move on.
 

niamul21

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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - Daydream Enginner

Hey Guys and girls,


Let's start the No Contact Challenge. This has personally helped me 2 years ago, and i have seen many members asking for "how to get my ex back", and after breakup questions. The idea is a simple one, for 60 days, you will not talk or communicate with the girl that bazooka your heart. In any way, form, or communication, and every time you feel like saying something to her, you will write what you were going to tell her, AND/OR why you want to contact her, in this thread instead. This has been field tested by me, and it works from selling your soul to the she-devil.

You are going to do No Contact for yourself, you need to get away from here and move on. You will feel a transformation at the end of your challenge, and the ex that broke your heart, won't be a parasite in your mind anymore. You might even get your ex's attraction back, but you will be busy thinking about other girls to give her a second chance.


Let's begin,
Here are the rules:

1. First of all, before you do anything, read these articles:

The "Just Got Dumped" GUIDE
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=155594

The Ultimate Break Up Guide…
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=38886

and....

No Contact - The Guide



...continued.
I also do agree with you here.
 

Bethatsocialguy

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Too be honest. Isn't getting oneitis part of life and what most of us brought here in the first place? I got oneitis when i was 18 25 and atm at 29. But everytime i got better afterwards and i get better girls, even though it really really sucks after the breakup. But for me, its really hard too not get complacent when life gets tough, but everytime i got complacent, i got dumped. So i am working on that, although i do question sometimes if its ever really possible too never be complacent again and always spin plates. Life gets in the way sometimes, all about acceptance for me.
Life does get in the way sometimes but it is how you handle it which will maintain attraction. Be decisive, be sure of your decisions and trust in yourself and women will follow
 

Bethatsocialguy

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When someone tells you they do not want to be with you, believe them. Let her go and move on.
Agreed. If a girl blocks you too, that is her saying "I dont want to talk to you now or in the future." It could be her emotions taking over decision making but that is not an excuse. A girl who has better control of her emotions is much more attractive as well as wifey material
 

Bethatsocialguy

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She ended up asking me out for a drink, because she didnt like how things ended between us. One drink led to another and..
Anyway long story short I gained a fwb.
Make sure you manage that FWB benefits and don't get complacent. Tell her the boundaries and don't accept her to come around or go to her when she wants. Do it when you want but don't do it all the time. Also make sure you are actively looking for other women too.
 

DarwinTaurus

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I don't know what's going on.

My ex contacted my on my Dad's birthday, two weeks ago (she broke up with me a few weeks prior to that). It was my Dad's first birthday since his passing, in early May. She said she was thinking of me. After thanking her for thoughts, left it at, and decided not to contact.

9 days later, she texted me out of the blue, while I was watching my friends band. Told her I was doing great, which I was. Then, since then, we've been texting pretty much every day. She has been giving me compliments, etc. She told me that when she was on the pill, it was messing with her hormones, and I think in hindsight she was going a bit crazy on it. Now she is off it. I get the sense she may be feeling regret over the break-up. Not sure what she wants, or what I should do at this point. I'm not going to pursue her. If she wants to rekindle the relationship, then, in my opinion, it is up to her to talk about that, as she was the one to break up with me.
 

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Barrister

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I don't know what's going on.

My ex contacted my on my Dad's birthday, two weeks ago (she broke up with me a few weeks prior to that). It was my Dad's first birthday since his passing, in early May. She said she was thinking of me. After thanking her for thoughts, left it at, and decided not to contact.

9 days later, she texted me out of the blue, while I was watching my friends band. Told her I was doing great, which I was. Then, since then, we've been texting pretty much every day. She has been giving me compliments, etc. She told me that when she was on the pill, it was messing with her hormones, and I think in hindsight she was going a bit crazy on it. Now she is off it. I get the sense she may be feeling regret over the break-up. Not sure what she wants, or what I should do at this point. I'm not going to pursue her. If she wants to rekindle the relationship, then, in my opinion, it is up to her to talk about that, as she was the one to break up with me.
This is called "bread-crumbing" and it sounds like you are falling for it. You provide instant validation for her by continuing to interact/respond to her. If you continue going down this path and thinking that your LTR can be rekindled, expect your difficulties to multiply tenfold. My advice is that next time she texts you you either (A) tell her that you appreciated her reaching out on your dad's birthday but think it is best that you go separate ways for good or (B) don't respond at all. If you don't feel you can bring yourself to tell her what you need to in option A - go with B. But do stop talking to her and putting on rose-colored glasses and thinking it must have been the pill that made your relationship fall apart.

Newsflash: it wasn't the pill.
 

dude99

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I don't know what's going on.

My ex contacted my on my Dad's birthday, two weeks ago (she broke up with me a few weeks prior to that). It was my Dad's first birthday since his passing, in early May. She said she was thinking of me. After thanking her for thoughts, left it at, and decided not to contact.

9 days later, she texted me out of the blue, while I was watching my friends band. Told her I was doing great, which I was. Then, since then, we've been texting pretty much every day. She has been giving me compliments, etc. She told me that when she was on the pill, it was messing with her hormones, and I think in hindsight she was going a bit crazy on it. Now she is off it. I get the sense she may be feeling regret over the break-up. Not sure what she wants, or what I should do at this point. I'm not going to pursue her. If she wants to rekindle the relationship, then, in my opinion, it is up to her to talk about that, as she was the one to break up with me.
She broke up with you to go after or be with another guy. That didn't work out and now she is dropping bread crumbs to see if she can get some validation and free attention. She may regret breaking up with you but actions have consequences. I don't buy the BS about the pill being the problem. Breaking up with someome is something chicks think about for a long time so she had the plan to end things for a long time. If it was hormones then she would also have had moments where her hormomes would be telling her breaking up with you would be a big mistake.

What she has is regret. The grass was not greener, the sugar wasn't sweeter the sky wasn't bluer. When reality sunk in she realized she facked up.

You need to be too busy for her. All you are doing is validating her and when she yanks the rug out again because she will, you will be left with nothing but hurt.

Get busy, go after new women. She will do this to you again. Do not let her.
 

DarwinTaurus

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She broke up with you to go after or be with another guy. That didn't work out and now she is dropping bread crumbs to see if she can get some validation and free attention. She may regret breaking up with you but actions have consequences. I don't buy the BS about the pill being the problem. Breaking up with someome is something chicks think about for a long time so she had the plan to end things for a long time. If it was hormones then she would also have had moments where her hormomes would be telling her breaking up with you would be a big mistake.

What she has is regret. The grass was not greener, the sugar wasn't sweeter the sky wasn't bluer. When reality sunk in she realized she facked up.

You need to be too busy for her. All you are doing is validating her and when she yanks the rug out again because she will, you will be left with nothing but hurt.

Get busy, go after new women. She will do this to you again. Do not let her.
Bit more of a backstory, she is going through a divorce (15yr marriage), which will finalize in August. She has two kids, works full time, plus has taken on full time study to change career. I think it became a bit too much, and I was the lowest priority. I don't think she is seeing anyone else. I'm only the 3rd person she has ever been with. 1st was a Lesbian relationship when she was young, then she met her soon to be former husband... and me.
 

Barrister

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Bit more of a backstory, she is going through a divorce (15yr marriage), which will finalize in August. She has two kids, works full time, plus has taken on full time study to change career. I think it became a bit too much, and I was the lowest priority. I don't think she is seeing anyone else. I'm only the 3rd person she has ever been with. 1st was a Lesbian relationship when she was young, then she met her soon to be former husband... and me.
Not exactly the foundation for a successful relationship. I would tell you that you should have known better - but I have also been in a few spots that I am not proud of. Regardless, you are definitely better off moving on. I thought that even before you gave us the red-flag past she has. Good luck, brother.
 

dude99

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Bit more of a backstory, she is going through a divorce (15yr marriage), which will finalize in August. She has two kids, works full time, plus has taken on full time study to change career. I think it became a bit too much, and I was the lowest priority. I don't think she is seeing anyone else. I'm only the 3rd person she has ever been with. 1st was a Lesbian relationship when she was young, then she met her soon to be former husband... and me.
Thanks for more background, you said a magic sentence in there that told me everything i needed to know.

"I was the lowest priority."

This tells me the relationship meant nothing to her. So when someone makes you their lowest priority, they become your lowest priority.

You are now too busy for her. She blew her chance. If you entertain her breadcrumbing now you will be teaching her, it is ok to do it to you again and again.

Stop going the extra mile for people who won't cross the street for you.
 
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