Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

powersize

Senior Don Juan
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Been 2 years since my last serious NC.

There is a girl which gave me hard time since August. I did all the things that the man should not do:
  • overreacted when she refused to come over to my place
  • double texted
  • kept chasing
  • tried to fix stuff and reatract the girl
Today was the last drop. I had "the talk" with the girl when i texted - "are you going with me on the trip or I will block you and will never talk with you again?". It might sound weird but i don't wanna go deep in the context behind this text (the flaked ton of times on my invitations, did not respond on my text and played all sort of games). So she said "I really like to be with you....please do not block me" and in general that every time I ask her out she has stuff to do. I said "what are you doing tonight" - she sent me photo with her and friends having dinner, than "what about tomorrow" - she is going with friends somewhere again. I called her out and said - if the person wants to be with another person she will find the time, otherwise it is all BS. She replied that she tells true and it is not BS, she is a busy girl.

I blocked her number after that message, blocked IG. No Contact day 0.
 

MissouriMark

Don Juan
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60 DAY CHALLENGE! Lets DO this! Ex girlfriend, forget her!!

My girlfriend dumped me a week before Valentines day, saying she just wanted to be friends. After begging and fighting it, I tried no contact then caved 4 days later when she said I had no respect for her because I was ignoring her . I couldn't help not responding, don't you dare question my feelings for you. Woke up the next morning feeling stupid for talking to her and realized nothing was changing in her. She dumped me 2 weeks ago. I stopped ALL CONTACT WITH HER on the 16th this month. 9 days after she dumped me to be friends, and 1 day after 2nd NC she texts me saying "I just ****ed some guy, just saying." Then that night text I love you. I almost responded to both, but I had my bros WRESTLE ME TO THE GROUND FOR LITERALLY 2 HOURS until I calmed down so I wouldn't respond. BTW, having awesome friends helps this process more than you know, anyway.

I didn't respond to those 2 BIG TEXTS THANK THE LORD, It's been 5 days since. She has called, texted, and skyped me a **** TON!!! At first it was indirect talking like, Your a **** for ignoring me", or " you never loved me, you wouldn't care if I died". Now after she sees I am serious about NC, she has texted me saying, "I really need someone to talk to. please pat." and calling me 5 times in a row at 11. I used to fall for this, but i refuse to be an emotional tampon to the period she created for herself. I don't want to be friends, ever.

It will only hurt me and I know better now. Not saying I don't wish it would've worked out or that I don't care about her, just saying living in some movie fairy tale happy ending were you get her back in your head doesn't help you AT ALL. Attention all guys going through ****, : SOMETIMES GOODBYE IS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU.... I'm only 5 days in of no contact, but I can say that now after reading about all the stories of my fellow bros who wrote forums going through this NC and seeing the light 3 months later that its true. Time and space does wonders on a willing mind.


and I have been reading literally hundreds of post on this website to give me some ****ing idea of what to do that wont end up shooting me in the heart again, like trying to win her back. I may miss her, but I deserve better, I am the prize, even if its weird to believe I could be someones prize, I am.

So here goes the 60 DAY NO CONTACT CHALLENGE!! I accept this challenge and WILL WIN BACK MY MANHOOD, BALLS, AND DIGNITY!!! NO MORE WHINING, OR FEELING SORRY, JUST TIME TO MAN UP, AND LIVE MY DREAMS OUT NO MATTER WHAT. I will post everyday until I hit 60 DAYS!
p.s. thank you SOO MUCH TO ALL YOU WHO i READ ABOUT OR GAVE ADVICE! I never in only 5 days would be this strong if it wasn't for seeing how trying to win her back doesn't work, and really you don't want it either until later you realize it. No homo, but I love all you guys. Thanks for helping me get back to changing the world, and being happy with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks day dreamer, you got some skills with them wurds! ha



I'm in the process of reading these posts in my free time, and even though this is an old post, it still really pizzed me off. It's like she dumped the guy and then wants to know why he's ignoring her.... it's like what the fuk does she expect????? SHE made the decision to leave him, so leave him alone!!! And then brag to him that she fuked some other guy. It's a wonder why we even associate with women sometimes. Luckily not all are THIS fuked up.
 

jamesfromhouston

Don Juan
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Hey gents!

Hope everyone is doing well!

Like I said, I'll be doing these updates for 12 months, hopefully some of you bros will get something out of my journey.
(I've been updating every 30 days this year, so if you're interested in my journey, click into my profile and you can read how I started and how it went).

NC 330 (11 months)

1 more month till the end of my 12 months challenge!

It has been an incredible past month! I been keeping myself busy with plates and getting lays that really at this point, I am no longer fazed by the ex. I've met many beautiful women and had great sex with many of them. There were even a few times over the past weeks, where I had back to back hook-ups. Literally I'd get a hotel room for a few days and invite different girls over different nights. The sex has been fun with different women and it has been fun partying and just enjoying life, to a point where I started to get a bit tired. Too much hedonism. Currently trying to tone it down and recharge myself. It has been nice to feel the rush of spending time with different women and experiencing passion with them. Has also been fun just partying and spending night outs. There is a certain level of excitement of sleeping with different women that I've never really experienced in my past life with the ex.

I don't think I would trade my current life with my past life if given the chance. I was totally caged up being with her in that relationship. I can't believe how much I gave up for her. The more I spent time with different women and the more I looked at things through RP lenses, the more I realised how bad I had it back then.

Love does that to you. I was definitely a romantic and although I might have experienced the romance of being with my ex; but I realised it may all have been me. The reality was different from the rosy picture I had painted in my mind. So recently I've been thinking that romance is actually an impediment. Maybe a fiction invented to have you committed to a woman and let them get away with diminishing who you are as a man. Being in love feels like a great feeling, but after spending so much time with different women I realised, that you have to be careful who you fall in love with and although almost all women might seek your love, not all of them deserve your love. Its important to remain rational.

For my brothers who are just started NC, it does get better. And for those of my brothers who are hoping for breadcrumbs, I've received nothing over the past 11 months. They don't always come back, but you get to a point, as cliche as it sounds, where that doesn't matter anymore.

-James
 

sickwithu

Don Juan
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Aug 23, 2013
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Hello everyone!
Been dumped, said it's a relief if I block her. Seemed nice to hear, like I'm some kind of monster, I'm an introvert and I don't even chat much. She asked me to block her on Whatsapp. I said ok, it's your decision. Still have her on Facebook. I don't see a difference if I block her there or not, she doesn't care anyway. She has been ignoring me for a while saying she is too busy, blah blah so I've seen it coming. It hurt but that's how it goes. NC day 3 for me.
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
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Hello everyone!
Been dumped, said it's a relief if I block her. Seemed nice to hear, like I'm some kind of monster, I'm an introvert and I don't even chat much. She asked me to block her on Whatsapp. I said ok, it's your decision. Still have her on Facebook. I don't see a difference if I block her there or not, she doesn't care anyway. She has been ignoring me for a while saying she is too busy, blah blah so I've seen it coming. It hurt but that's how it goes. NC day 3 for me.
She ASKED you to block her? Definitely a drama queen/AW alert with this one. Wants to tell all of her friends she is blocked by you for extra attention. I would one-up her and just deactivate the account altogether. When she sees you completely gone from the social media scene she will probably panic.

Regardless, good luck with it, brother. You will find a lot of good stuff in this thread for dealing with this.
 

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"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

sickwithu

Don Juan
Joined
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Been 2 years since my last serious NC.

There is a girl which gave me hard time since August. I did all the things that the man should not do:
  • overreacted when she refused to come over to my place
  • double texted
  • kept chasing
  • tried to fix stuff and reatract the girl
Today was the last drop. I had "the talk" with the girl when i texted - "are you going with me on the trip or I will block you and will never talk with you again?". It might sound weird but i don't wanna go deep in the context behind this text (the flaked ton of times on my invitations, did not respond on my text and played all sort of games). So she said "I really like to be with you....please do not block me" and in general that every time I ask her out she has stuff to do. I said "what are you doing tonight" - she sent me photo with her and friends having dinner, than "what about tomorrow" - she is going with friends somewhere again. I called her out and said - if the person wants to be with another person she will find the time, otherwise it is all BS. She replied that she tells true and it is not BS, she is a busy girl.

I blocked her number after that message, blocked IG. No Contact day 0.
She ASKED you to block her? Definitely a drama queen/AW alert with this one. Wants to tell all of her friends she is blocked by you for extra attention. I would one-up her and just deactivate the account altogether. When she sees you completely gone from the social media scene she will probably panic.

Regardless, good luck with it, brother. You will find a lot of good stuff in this thread for dealing with this.
Thanks for the support.. i dont really think she even has real friends.
 

sickwithu

Don Juan
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Day 4. Hurts like hell. I know NC is there for us to heal. I don't know why I felt some kind of hope that she will change and contact me. I'm an idiot. Phases go around circles, from denial, anger, hate to sadness. The acceptance will come, just don't know when. I hope soon. I'm a complete mess at the moment, and it's not my first time. But it's always hard as it can be.
 

indiff

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Day 4. Hurts like hell. I know NC is there for us to heal. I don't know why I felt some kind of hope that she will change and contact me. I'm an idiot. Phases go around circles, from denial, anger, hate to sadness. The acceptance will come, just don't know when. I hope soon. I'm a complete mess at the moment, and it's not my first time. But it's always hard as it can be.
Yea, it sucks man. Even though you know what needs to be done and this feeling is only temporary, for some reason, your body didn’t seem to get the memo, putting you through this roller coaster of emotions. Hang in there and take care.
 

sickwithu

Don Juan
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Day 1.. yeah the idiot broke NC. we did some talk and apparently she says I love you. 2 days after , she holds the grudge for the fight when i say to her "**** you" lol. still dont want anything.. just stupid excuses. i'm so dumb. Ok day 1 and day ****ing forever because there is no turning back ever again..
 

Barrister

Master Don Juan
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Day 1.. yeah the idiot broke NC. we did some talk and apparently she says I love you. 2 days after , she holds the grudge for the fight when i say to her "**** you" lol. still dont want anything.. just stupid excuses. i'm so dumb. Ok day 1 and day ****ing forever because there is no turning back ever again..
Continuing to have additional "talks" with her does nothing. She has made up her mind. You are giving her a validation rush every time you reach out to her. Likewise, when you get a big blowup from one of these talks that also fuels her validation because she sees that she is able to affect you so strongly.

Bottom line -- talking to her only makes you feel worse and her feel better. Her little breadcumbing comments of "I love you" are just that. She is trying to keep you hooked while she looks elsewhere. Don't keep doing this to yourself.
 

The Diver

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I realized it may all have been me. The reality was different from the rosy picture I had painted in my mind.
False evaluation creates distorted reality, which creates artificial qualities that were not there in the first place.
This is where many fail, even the experienced ones : fail to eliminate the "Love" which clouds our judgment to see true reality.
 
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