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The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

NSX-R

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She'll get the hint at some point. Mine took a while but they eventually get there. Keep going mate love your work.
I appreciate it bro . Yeah eventually they have no other choice but to move on . Sometimes i have the urge to respond, Not because i feel something for her but just to mess up with her psychology and bring her ego really down but that goes along with the validation and drama she wants. If i respond she gets the drama most women want plus i play with the fact she won’t ever leave me alone and I don’t want that . Radio silence.
 

dude99

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I appreciate it bro . Yeah eventually they have no other choice but to move on . Sometimes i have the urge to respond, Not because i feel something for her but just to mess up with her psychology and bring her ego really down but that goes along with the validation and drama she wants. If i respond she gets the drama most women want plus i play with the fact she won’t ever leave me alone and I don’t want that . Radio silence.
Ignoring her messes with her psychology even more. Moving on and living a great life messes with it the most because it shows you dont need or want her.
 

NSX-R

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Ignoring her messes with her psychology even more. Moving on and living a great life messes with it the most because it shows you dont need or want her.
That’s completely true . I remember once i denied fcking her and was ignoring her for the whole night . I will never forget it . She was literally begging me to fck her and she even was pulling me so that I’ll respond. Didn’t respond at all but the next day we had one of the best sexual sessions ever .
In my current situation i don’t really care how she feels. My ego got rewarded when she started chasing and falling so low to respond after blocking her everywhere. I got what i wanted and the objective was complete.There is nothing else. I have literally zero feelings left for her . I wish i was feeling the same some time ago . Anyway I’m the winner .
 

Barrister

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NC - Day 60

So I finally am hitting the milestone of day 60 today. I can say that I feel infinitely better than I did 30 days ago. Honestly, the single most important thing is just the passage of time. Had you asked me 30 days ago how I’d feel by day 60 I would never have expected to feel as good as I do at this juncture.

This isn’t to say I don’t still think about her. I still have people bring her up to me and some memories still pop into my head here and there. However, the almost constant thoughts of her and agonizing over the failure of the relationship that were present 30 days ago is gone now. I’m seeing other women and doing my own thing.

It gets better guys. Even though this challenge is technically 60 days I have zero intention of breaking no contact. I honestly think the challenge should be more like 180 days to ensure full healing.
 

Max Baker

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I don't believe in 30, 60 or whatever days of no contact. I think we all should be implementing indefinite no contact. I mean, do you guys want to be friends or keep them as plates? If you can handle it more power to you but imo it will get complicated and messy at some point.

If you want them back then that's different. Let them reach out and go from there.

But the answer is to move on, focus on yourself and let them go. I know when its fresh and for sometime after that its hard but it does get a lot better and time helps you realize they aren't what you need in life. After all, if they were meant to be we wouldn't break up in the first place.

Stay strong guys. For me its been nearly 5 months of no contact. Feels great, yes i still think about her occasionally but i did live with her for 4 years and she did mess with my head for sometime after we split, so I'd like to think its normal. But i have no intention of ever contacting her again. I don't expect to ever hear from her again but then again who knows. I don't really care anymore.
 

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samspade

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I don't believe in 30, 60 or whatever days of no contact. I think we all should be implementing indefinite no contact. I mean, do you guys want to be friends or keep them as plates? If you can handle it more power to you but imo it will get complicated and messy at some point.

If you want them back then that's different. Let them reach out and go from there.

But the answer is to move on, focus on yourself and let them go. I know when its fresh and for sometime after that its hard but it does get a lot better and time helps you realize they aren't what you need in life. After all, if they were meant to be we wouldn't break up in the first place.

Stay strong guys. For me its been nearly 5 months of no contact. Feels great, yes i still think about her occasionally but i did live with her for 4 years and she did mess with my head for sometime after we split, so I'd like to think its normal. But i have no intention of ever contacting her again. I don't expect to ever hear from her again but then again who knows. I don't really care anymore.
I'm presuming guys mention 30 or 60 days because they are benchmarks. Like, okay, I made it one month. Now I know I can do two. Etc. Part of the human habit of breaking things down into patterns or increments.

Good for you on the five months. It always feels best when you truly don't care.
 

Grinderman

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I don't believe in 30, 60 or whatever days of no contact. I think we all should be implementing indefinite no contact. I mean, do you guys want to be friends or keep them as plates? If you can handle it more power to you but imo it will get complicated and messy at some point.

If you want them back then that's different. Let them reach out and go from there.

But the answer is to move on, focus on yourself and let them go. I know when its fresh and for sometime after that its hard but it does get a lot better and time helps you realize they aren't what you need in life. After all, if they were meant to be we wouldn't break up in the first place.

Stay strong guys. For me its been nearly 5 months of no contact. Feels great, yes i still think about her occasionally but i did live with her for 4 years and she did mess with my head for sometime after we split, so I'd like to think its normal. But i have no intention of ever contacting her again. I don't expect to ever hear from her again but then again who knows. I don't really care anymore.
Just like your life is better without the weed robbing your energy and polluting your soul, you're improving your life by leaving this female in your rearview mirror (bit of Pearl Jam "say things so much clearer, once you were in my rearview mirror". The weed is a distant memory just like she is slowly becoming. Burning in the embers of the past.

Scarily similar situation to yourself. The focus on your self, let them go is spot on. Look more through the windscreen focusing on where we are going with laser vision and determination, rather than looking at the rearview mirror, is the essence of letting go and moving on.
 

NSX-R

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That’s completely true . I remember once i denied fcking her and was ignoring her for the whole night . I will never forget it . She was literally begging me to fck her and she even was pulling me so that I’ll respond. Didn’t respond at all but the next day we had one of the best sexual sessions ever .
In my current situation i don’t really care how she feels. My ego got rewarded when she started chasing and falling so low to respond after blocking her everywhere. I got what i wanted and the objective was complete.There is nothing else. I have literally zero feelings left for her . I wish i was feeling the same some time ago . Anyway I’m the winner .
Yesterday she reached out AGAIN begging me to unblock her from everywhere. Off course i didn’t, actually i haven’t seen it yet on iMessage and won’t be seeing it for the reason to not give her the slightest validation that i took the message . I’m in a position right now that i find it very funny but also sad because she got the rejection slap right in her face and she still tries to come in contact with me . Off course that’s not gonna happen. Personally i don’t believe she’s doing it just because she wants me back but because she wants to get her ego back and blame me for everything and let her subconscious feel ok after everything she’s done . Basic tactical female move . I let her live with the guilt, i don’t give a shyt about her at all anymore . The reason i update this post is because i want to show how low women can get and now it can get more lower .
 

manfrombelow

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Yesterday she reached out AGAIN begging me to unblock her from everywhere. Off course i didn’t, actually i haven’t seen it yet on iMessage and won’t be seeing it for the reason to not give her the slightest validation that i took the message . I’m in a position right now that i find it very funny but also sad because she got the rejection slap right in her face and she still tries to come in contact with me . Off course that’s not gonna happen. Personally i don’t believe she’s doing it just because she wants me back but because she wants to get her ego back and blame me for everything and let her subconscious feel ok after everything she’s done . Basic tactical female move . I let her live with the guilt, i don’t give a shyt about her at all anymore . The reason i update this post is because i want to show how low women can get and now it can get more lower .
Downgrade her to plate, and use her to unload your *** at your desire.
 

dude99

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Yesterday she reached out AGAIN begging me to unblock her from everywhere. Off course i didn’t, actually i haven’t seen it yet on iMessage and won’t be seeing it for the reason to not give her the slightest validation that i took the message . I’m in a position right now that i find it very funny but also sad because she got the rejection slap right in her face and she still tries to come in contact with me . Off course that’s not gonna happen. Personally i don’t believe she’s doing it just because she wants me back but because she wants to get her ego back and blame me for everything and let her subconscious feel ok after everything she’s done . Basic tactical female move . I let her live with the guilt, i don’t give a shyt about her at all anymore . The reason i update this post is because i want to show how low women can get and now it can get more lower .
Basic self centered, self entitled, selfish female behaviour. They aren't used to guys rejecting them and most women don't handle it well at all because their ego tells them they are supposed to be hurting you.

Like you said she wants her ego back. Not you. She wants to put herself back on the pedastle she believes she should be on.

Stay the course brother. Keep ignoring that message.
 

NSX-R

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Basic self centered, self entitled, selfish female behaviour. They aren't used to guys rejecting them and most women don't handle it well at all because their ego tells them they are supposed to be hurting you.

Like you said she wants her ego back. Not you. She wants to put herself back on the pedastle she believes she should be on.

Stay the course brother. Keep ignoring that message.
Thank you brother . I’m that kind of person when i take a decision i keep it , only reason i was softer with her was because feelings were involved and it was too late to back off . First few weeks were hard but right now I’m better than ever before .
Downgrade her to plate, and use her to unload your *** at your desire.
No reason to do that cause to be called as a plate means that i should promote her and not demote her . Big difference. Plus i don’t want even the slightest contact with her .
 

Goldrex

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Day 1. I’m trying to exit a toxic relationship with a bpd chick. Even though I know I’m being used and manipulated it still hurts to let her go. The last few weeks have been f*cking awful, but every time I’m almost okay alone she like knows to text me and bring me back in. I’m hoping with the help of the forum I can maintain the strength to keep no contact. I’m sure I’ll be updating regularly.
 

Asseater

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Day 1. I’m trying to exit a toxic relationship with a bpd chick. Even though I know I’m being used and manipulated it still hurts to let her go. The last few weeks have been f*cking awful, but every time I’m almost okay alone she like knows to text me and bring me back in. I’m hoping with the help of the forum I can maintain the strength to keep no contact. I’m sure I’ll be updating regularly.
What will really make things easier is blocking her, speaking from personal experience. Good luck on being resolute and staying no contact.
 

dude99

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Day 1. I’m trying to exit a toxic relationship with a bpd chick. Even though I know I’m being used and manipulated it still hurts to let her go. The last few weeks have been f*cking awful, but every time I’m almost okay alone she like knows to text me and bring me back in. I’m hoping with the help of the forum I can maintain the strength to keep no contact. I’m sure I’ll be updating regularly.
If she is a true BPD you have to cut and ignore everything from her from now on. They are not capable of healthy relationships with people. Period. Not capable.

You will have hard days but once you clear your head you will see how toxic she was and you will be glad she is gone. We have all been there. We have all had a nasty toxic relationship and any cluster b's, bpd in your example, are never ever worth your time effort or caring. They will do nothing but suck the life out of you.

Stay no contact. And when she does reach out, because she will, hurting you is entertainment to them, you just ignore deletw, block, swipe left and have nothing to do with her.

The guys here are great support. Reach out and they can offer you emotional support.

It gets better.
 

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Baibars

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To be honest i didn't count the days i'm not talking to my Ex anymore but i'm not talking to her since last summer. She constantly disrespected me and used the kids as a weapon so i decided to stop talking to her. I went to a lawyer and now i'm in a custody battle with her.
She's a toxic ****, her mom has bpd and 3 kids from 3 men. My Ex has chosen the same path. I would say that i'm pretty much over her.

Yesterday i was checking my blocked contacts on IG and WhatsApp. I unblocked my Ex because she doesn't care that i have her blocked anyway.
I saw that she has her new bf's name linked on her IG profile. I felt bad for a moment but then just closed it. This girl is damaged and when i was chasing her when i was a blue pill simp, she already had sex with other guys. Now she's playing the good girl role and pretends to be religious.
However i have a lot of work to do on myself and i feel like i made some progress. I don't really feel the urge to contact her but i still think about her and the past sometimes.
She hates me and wants to take all my parental rights that's what she's trying to get through her lawyer. I still don't see her as my enemy somehow even though she treated me like trash and doesn't even regret it and will never. I mean i still didn't fully accept this fact.

I would espescially like to get some advice from @dude99 and @derby1
 

derby1

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To be honest i didn't count the days i'm not talking to my Ex anymore but i'm not talking to her since last summer. She constantly disrespected me and used the kids as a weapon so i decided to stop talking to her. I went to a lawyer and now i'm in a custody battle with her.
She's a toxic ****, her mom has bpd and 3 kids from 3 men. My Ex has chosen the same path. I would say that i'm pretty much over her.

Yesterday i was checking my blocked contacts on IG and WhatsApp. I unblocked my Ex because she doesn't care that i have her blocked anyway.
I saw that she has her new bf's name linked on her IG profile. I felt bad for a moment but then just closed it. This girl is damaged and when i was chasing her when i was a blue pill simp, she already had sex with other guys. Now she's playing the good girl role and pretends to be religious.
However i have a lot of work to do on myself and i feel like i made some progress. I don't really feel the urge to contact her but i still think about her and the past sometimes.
She hates me and wants to take all my parental rights that's what she's trying to get through her lawyer. I still don't see her as my enemy somehow even though she treated me like trash and doesn't even regret it and will never. I mean i still didn't fully accept this fact.

I would espescially like to get some advice from @dude99 and @derby1
You must continue this path, even if you feel uncomfortable, Disengage, you never want this woman to know she controls your happiness.

What I want you to do is visualise, you contacting her in anyway shape or form, and picture her laughing at you & your message, then counter blocking you..

I then want you to picture yourself smashing your room up in a blue pill rage, and beating yourself up at giving her the honour of destroying you a 2nd time

find new hobbies & better people to surround yourself with

Sit alone in your apartment and use affirmations "This is bloody great I love being alone" repeat 100 times

I hope that makes sense
 

Grinderman

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Day 1. I’m trying to exit a toxic relationship with a bpd chick. Even though I know I’m being used and manipulated it still hurts to let her go. The last few weeks have been f*cking awful, but every time I’m almost okay alone she like knows to text me and bring me back in. I’m hoping with the help of the forum I can maintain the strength to keep no contact. I’m sure I’ll be updating regularly.
Whatever emotions or states of minds your having difficulty with, the key is to cultivate the opposite....

Where you codependent in the relationship? (dependent on another/her)....you must vision you as an independent man and move towards that vision. What do you look like as an independent man? Free, happy, self reliant, financial freedom, own place, own friends....what does it look live for you? MOVE TOWARDS IT!!!

Feeling lonely (without her or in general) you simply must move towards being a man who is confortable in his own company. Painful loneliness becomes.....BLISSFUL SOLITUDE!! What do you like to do in your own company? read? journal? series? music? long philosophical walks in nature? WHAT IS IT FOR YOU?? MOVE TOWARDS IT!!! When you find this sweet spot of blissful solitude......you can become fussy fo the company you keep. Your alone time becomes valuable.

Feeling hurt? cultivate well being. Move towards looking after yourself and giving yourself the self-care that you need (Mothering yourself in a way)

MOVE AWAY FROM THE DARKNESS AND MOVE TOWARDS THE LIGHT!! THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT!! BELIEVE IT!!
 

Barrister

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NC - Day 80 (no contact broken)

She called today and I picked up. First time we had spoken in almost 3 months. We were cordial but it was clear she was fishing to see whether I was seeing other people. She did this under the guise of “referring me a client” but that took all of 2 minutes. We then spoke for 20 mins on other things.

Part of me enjoyed hearing from her. I feel like this is only for validation on her part. I know I’m not completely over her yet so it’s dangerous. She’s likely already in an LTR with someone else.
 

Mike41090

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NC - Day 80 (no contact broken)

She called today and I picked up. First time we had spoken in almost 3 months. We were cordial but it was clear she was fishing to see whether I was seeing other people. She did this under the guise of “referring me a client” but that took all of 2 minutes. We then spoke for 20 mins on other things.

Part of me enjoyed hearing from her. I feel like this is only for validation on her part. I know I’m not completely over her yet so it’s dangerous. She’s likely already in an LTR with someone else.
When my girlfriend dumped me over a year ago, the second she left my house I automatically treated it like she was seeing someone else and did not initiate anything with her since. My ex eventually reached out after six months to send condolences for a family member passing away, then a month later in regards to the protests. I was friendly both times, but was also convinced she was fishing regardless of who passed away. Regardless of her reaching out or whatever, if she has the balls to dump you, she should also have the balls to bring up getting back together. If she doesn’t, then keep the train moving. And even if she did you should politely decline. Avoid the drama.
 
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