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The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

Possum Jones

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Day 3

A little background. I've known this girl 12-13 years. Her family is very closely tied to my family. We recently re-connected after a few years of no contact. We hit it off great and chemistry was strong. She's a great person and fun to be with. We've dated for roughly three months and I was starting to fall hard for her.

After spending this past weekend together she totally flaked on me. Friday and Saturday was great, but I could tell Sunday something was off. I went home sunday knowing deep down inside something changed.

She called me Sunday and basically broke things off with me. I must say I feel embarrassed and greatly disrespected by her actions. One, she could have broke things off to my face, and two, her family and my family are close so everyone knew about "us" and now about us splitting.
Tbh, I'm actually ok with it, but I'd be a liar if I said It didn't hurt a little. She did and probably always will mean a great deal to me.

I knew when getting into this I would go NC if things ever went south. Tbh, I could care less if she comes right back now, but im not ruling out any future realtionship with her. Despite her disrespectful way of breaking things off with me there is nothing truly negative I can speak about her.
Honesty we are both at slightly different points in life, but the good times and chemistry we shared is undeniable.

I should have no problems with the 60 day challenge. I wanted to post up just to have a record and a place for me to vent if things go south emotionally.

Thanks for reading and any advice offered. Stay strong bros. I know a lot of you guys are really suffering. Keep positive!
 

MamiiMoo

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Day 1

Hey everyone, ive just read everything that was posted on
Here from start to finish and I need help :/

Im 22 and my ex is 21, we been together
For 2years and 2months and today I decided
To break up with him for good. I believe
I have been a good girlfriend. Never cheated,
Always did what he wanted me to do but for the last 3
Weeks he had become distant, he wouldnt contact me for
Days and when I call him he would say he need space to
Focus on him, try and get a job, etc. So I'd not contact him
But then a week later he would contact me, want to see me
And I'd come and see him (I love him so much) and then
2 days ago we met up I stayed over at his house on the 13 and 14 spent
Valentines day with him, we spoke and said he hasn't got time cuz he
Wants to focus on his career and make his own money. He said
At the moment, he isn't focusin on us but that doesn't mean he wants to go
Find other girls. I said cool then when I left his house on the 14, I went on his twitter page
And saw he been flirting with other chicks calling them pretty face, asking where they from, etc. I confronted him about it, and he was like pay no mind, its twitter. But in my head im thinking, you sayin you aint got time for me but you got time to twitter???!! So this morning I rang him up and I said its over. I can't take this anymore you've hurt me so much. I dont feel like I can trust you, and he replied saying "there you go again, its your fault" and I said I want a relationship no mind games, I dont want to get hurt and he replied saying "you broke up with me so im goin to work now" or something along those lines. I loved him and stil do so much, I didnt deserve the way he treated me, so after that I deleted him on my phone, blocked him on facebook, twitter and Skype.
 

sicsec

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after a break up/lack of communication tried the no contact and was sticking to it for almost 21 days/3 weeks to be precise. Went to a bar the other night and there waiting for me out of the blue was the chick I was no contacting. I walked by her said hey with more of an facial acknowledgement and sat at the bar, she comes by me sits right next to me and says her intuition told her I'd be in that bar that night. I thought it was weird Valentines eve and she is sitting in that bar. She was wondering why I've been a stranger and if I really liked her from the start to than drop her cold turkey like that. Chick had more balls to show up at the bar than actually call me. Totally confused about this situation as I thought she was done with me as well. Any opinions or suggestions?
 

Possum Jones

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Well, contact has been made. It only took her six days to contact me.
She text me yesterday to wish me luck for an important event I had. I felt since I really have no desire to reconcile a quick reply doesn't hurt either way so I replied a few hours later with a simple thanks. She text me back again, but I'll let her have the last word.
I was rather surprised to hear from her. I imagine she really is missing me and now realizes shes fcked up a good thing.

I have a feeling that within the week she'll be contacting me with the whole "I'm sorry, I made a big mistake" line.
 

Juan Don

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Possum Jones said:
Well, contact has been made. It only took her six days to contact me.
She text me yesterday to wish me luck for an important event I had. I felt since I really have no desire to reconcile a quick reply doesn't hurt either way so I replied a few hours later with a simple thanks. She text me back again, but I'll let her have the last word.
I was rather surprised to hear from her. I imagine she really is missing me and now realizes shes fcked up a good thing.

I have a feeling that within the week she'll be contacting me with the whole "I'm sorry, I made a big mistake" line.
:rockon: that's excellent!
 

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Possum Jones

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Juan Don said:
:rockon: that's excellent!
Haha! Thanks man.

A big part of me wanted to ignore her text. I can't be a prick to this person though. I guess it doesn't really matter now. I'm over it and would not get back with her at this time even if she cried, begged, and guaranteed daily blow jobs in writing. Ok, maybe guaranteed daily blow jobs would sway me lol

If she texts or calls I'll be friendly, but indifferent. This is someone I would like to maintain a friendship with considering our long history. I will not however initiate any contact with her at this time. I'm not sure if my stance here disqualifies me from the no contact challenge. I will say that not talking to her for a week has allowed me to really think about things and move on. I do feel for you bros that are coming out of ltr and really struggling. It only took me two or three days to be completely over this. A few years ago I'd still be crying in my cereal lol

Btw, I have two crickets lined up :D I've never really spun plates as it's not my style but I'm gonna try it out. One is a cougar I've known for a while who only wants to have fun, and the other is a very attractive and fit hottie who is also very involved in the same sport as me. She's been about me for a while now, but l couldn't or wouldn't manage plates with my previous oneitis.

The fit hottie has oneitis written all over her. I'm gonna play it cool and just have some fun. Hopefully I won't be here in a few months with another post about her and NC ;)
 

Juan Don

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Possum Jones said:
If she texts or calls I'll be friendly, but indifferent. This is someone I would like to maintain a friendship with considering our long history. I will not however initiate any contact with her at this time. I'm not sure if my stance here disqualifies me from the no contact challenge. I will say that not talking to her for a week has allowed me to really think about things and move on. I do feel for you bros that are coming out of ltr and really struggling. It only took me two or three days to be completely over this. A few years ago I'd still be crying in my cereal lol
that's good. i believe the main reason for no contact is to get over someone not the attempt to win them back. that's when you have successfully completed "no contact challenge". sure you can become friends and communicate with each other in the future, but only if there are no longer any feelings there. i don't think the challenge is meant to forget about someone completely. but, some people have different takes on it. right now in my situation i don't want any communication with her because there's still feelings there. so it's best for me to remain no contact. i've moved on. but, i'm still thinking about myself and well being.
 

staystrong

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60 DAY CHALLENGE! Lets DO this! Ex girlfriend, forget her!!

My girlfriend dumped me a week before Valentines day, saying she just wanted to be friends. After begging and fighting it, I tried no contact then caved 4 days later when she said I had no respect for her because I was ignoring her . I couldn't help not responding, don't you dare question my feelings for you. Woke up the next morning feeling stupid for talking to her and realized nothing was changing in her. She dumped me 2 weeks ago. I stopped ALL CONTACT WITH HER on the 16th this month. 9 days after she dumped me to be friends, and 1 day after 2nd NC she texts me saying "I just ****ed some guy, just saying." Then that night text I love you. I almost responded to both, but I had my bros WRESTLE ME TO THE GROUND FOR LITERALLY 2 HOURS until I calmed down so I wouldn't respond. BTW, having awesome friends helps this process more than you know, anyway.

I didn't respond to those 2 BIG TEXTS THANK THE LORD, It's been 5 days since. She has called, texted, and skyped me a **** TON!!! At first it was indirect talking like, Your a **** for ignoring me", or " you never loved me, you wouldn't care if I died". Now after she sees I am serious about NC, she has texted me saying, "I really need someone to talk to. please pat." and calling me 5 times in a row at 11. I used to fall for this, but i refuse to be an emotional tampon to the period she created for herself. I don't want to be friends, ever.

It will only hurt me and I know better now. Not saying I don't wish it would've worked out or that I don't care about her, just saying living in some movie fairy tale happy ending were you get her back in your head doesn't help you AT ALL. Attention all guys going through ****, : SOMETIMES GOODBYE IS THE BEST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO YOU.... I'm only 5 days in of no contact, but I can say that now after reading about all the stories of my fellow bros who wrote forums going through this NC and seeing the light 3 months later that its true. Time and space does wonders on a willing mind.


and I have been reading literally hundreds of post on this website to give me some ****ing idea of what to do that wont end up shooting me in the heart again, like trying to win her back. I may miss her, but I deserve better, I am the prize, even if its weird to believe I could be someones prize, I am.

So here goes the 60 DAY NO CONTACT CHALLENGE!! I accept this challenge and WILL WIN BACK MY MANHOOD, BALLS, AND DIGNITY!!! NO MORE WHINING, OR FEELING SORRY, JUST TIME TO MAN UP, AND LIVE MY DREAMS OUT NO MATTER WHAT. I will post everyday until I hit 60 DAYS!
p.s. thank you SOO MUCH TO ALL YOU WHO i READ ABOUT OR GAVE ADVICE! I never in only 5 days would be this strong if it wasn't for seeing how trying to win her back doesn't work, and really you don't want it either until later you realize it. No homo, but I love all you guys. Thanks for helping me get back to changing the world, and being happy with me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks day dreamer, you got some skills with them wurds! ha
 

saltynipple

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DAY 1 - Great post and perfectly timed. My wife left me and is living with another man. I've tried to implement the no contact rule anyways without success.. I make it a few days then try petty attempts to contact her. She's even changed her number. She has zero trouble herself with no contact and I must get the power back. So, starting now. No contact. Period.
 

staystrong

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I make it a few days then try petty attempts to contact her. She's even changed her number. She has zero trouble herself with no contact and I must get the power back. So, starting now. No contact. Period.




Dude, I know this isn't what you want to here, and I don't know all the facts, but if your wife left you for another man, there is no discussion to be had. You deserve better, I don't even know you or her, but if that is how an adult women wants to handle a divorce or separation, **** her.

Pour that cement in your broken heart, and wait till it dries. Its not easy, its hard as ****! but you need to do this NO CONTACT FOR YOU, not her. She left you and changed her number, there is no hoping late at night while you sit in your bed torturing yourself. You said you couldn't not call her, I beg to differ.

You give yourself 60 days of no contact no matter HOW many times she tries to contact you. Post every day about your feelings. Then on day 60 I want you to re post about all this,and tell me you dont feel a **** ton better. They say nice guys finish last, well you can be a nice guy, just not a ****ing doormat, your still a man who deserves respect. Day by day, step by step, is how you keep moving. Dont you ****ing dare five her any attention anymore.
 

saltynipple

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staystrong said:
I make it a few days then try petty attempts to contact her. She's even changed her number. She has zero trouble herself with no contact and I must get the power back. So, starting now. No contact. Period.




Dude, I know this isn't what you want to here, and I don't know all the facts, but if your wife left you for another man, there is no discussion to be had. You deserve better, I don't even know you or her, but if that is how an adult women wants to handle a divorce or separation, **** her.

Pour that cement in your broken heart, and wait till it dries. Its not easy, its hard as ****! but you need to do this NO CONTACT FOR YOU, not her. She left you and changed her number, there is no hoping late at night while you sit in your bed torturing yourself. You said you couldn't not call her, I beg to differ.

You give yourself 60 days of no contact no matter HOW many times she tries to contact you. Post every day about your feelings. Then on day 60 I want you to re post about all this,and tell me you dont feel a **** ton better. They say nice guys finish last, well you can be a nice guy, just not a ****ing doormat, your still a man who deserves respect. Day by day, step by step, is how you keep moving. Dont you ****ing dare five her any attention anymore.
Thats my intention. No contact, period. I'll post every few days for sure. Your right, she doesn't deserve me. She's a piece of ***t.. Its not even that I shouldn't contact her. Its that she doesn't deserve the breath that comes out of me when I open my mouth. She doesn't deserve a shred of my respect or any of my integrity. Screw her! I can do better anyways. 60 days no contact. I'm in.
 

staystrong

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Day 6 of no contact. I quit the club we see eachother in every wednesday (today). She probably thinks I will go to the meeting and beg for my clothes back that she sleeps in STILL EVERYNIGHT. Little does she know, i told the President TO TELL everyone I just got a 40 hour job and have to resign. I hope it hits her like a ton of bricks knowing this is for real that I'm done.

But I really cant wait till the day when I cant even get angry at her because I just dont care, that is when I will be truly free. KEEP GOING GUYS!!!!!
 

saltynipple

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Day 2 - no contact still in place. It was hard today because she changed my password on my email and Facebook. Their was a malicious intent had nothing to do with no contact for a day. Have no idea why but I wanted to get ticked and contact her. Just changed everything and made it so she couldn't do it again. Still have the desire but not doing it.

And not to mention when I got home from work she also had the power cut off to my house. She's something else.
 
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staystrong

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I want to contact her so bad right now. It gets me the worst at night, all night. then I dream about her, then i wake up. I just want to know if this was a game or if she really meant she loved me and is just an immature girl. Funny thing is, either way I lose, so why the **** do I care so god damn much.

She usually calls me at night or texts, and I feel better about NC then. But for some reason I keep waiting for her to call just so I can ignore it. I guess I'm testing her. IF she calls me for the next 3 months, maybe this was for real, but if I'm moving on, why am I so mad and worked up and still wondering about her? I don't know what I'm trying to accomplish. I know guys I know, don't call her. And I wont. I even gave up the chance to get a $5,000 scholarship to avoid her. Thats how much she ****ing got to me. It's not even close to worth seeing her on a weekly bases. That would defeat the point of NO CONTACT. I never have a chance with her. But why do i still want us to get back together????? I know she ****ed up & has problems, so what the **** is wrong with me?

Why cant I be an ******* who ****s women and doesn't care about them? I hate being the morals guy, **** this ****. Anway, sorry I had to rant, I just dont know what to do. btw, I wont contact her, I mean what to do in moments like this, or why I still care so ****ing much.
 

staystrong

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Day 7: I miss her physically, and am angry she said I love you, but in my dreams its torture. I wake up and think imediatly, i will never be with you, and maybe thats a good thing!!! **** her. I miss her, but she will never have the satisfaction of knowing that. Family coming into town today, and I just got a 40 new job so trying to stay busy. She didn't call me last night, but i think she will call me at night friday or saturday.

I dont know why I care if she calls or not, but I wont let it control me. I got **** to do!! Also, she texted me when she found out I quit the club, " u quit?? wtf." haha **** you *****!
 

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Love's Orphan

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Get your mind occupied on something, anything. The first weeks arent really hard because your anger is still alive and roaring. Once it disappears, you may even start reconsidering if going nc was right. Hang in there. Ignore her provocations.
 

saltynipple

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DAY 3 - So far I am having no problem with no contact. However, to be honest it could because my ex has been on the offensive and its easier when she's causing me trouble. The electric situation worked out in my favor. She really ticked the girls off at the electric company by lying, to make a long story short they are sending the final 80 dollar bill to the forwarding address she supplied. I honestly have zero desire to contact her right. In fact I have several other women that are keeping me somewhat busy with contact. None physical yet. 60 days will almost be to the exact day I show up for court to finalize our divorce. It will be really nice to have had no contact with her this 60 days and walk in there confident and looking good.
 

staystrong

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Day 8: today my family and I will be putting down my dog I have had for my whole life. I wish I could just bury my face into my ex and hold her when it happens, but I cant be a wimp anymore. I need to be strong for my family. I maybe 20, but its time to man up.

She called last night, I ignored it as always. Tonight and this weekend will be interesting to see how much I can handle all this. I'll just stay busy and be strong for my sisters and mom. When I die I want this to be my quote, " When **** happens, make some manure."
 

staystrong

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Day 9. worked all day literally. I still thought about her all day and thinking how bad she treated me. Mostly the negatives. About to go to my friends house to hang with some girls. Time to move on!
 
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