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The myth of women throwing themselves at tall, rich, ripped "Chads"

Zimbabwe

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I see this nonsense repeated so often on the internet, and I'm convinced nobody could possibly be basing it on actual life experience or observation. It's just an easily digestible mantra that gets mindlessly parroted enough that people start believing it.

The myth isn't that women all want a small subset of men, it's that this small subset of chosen men is chosen for being tall, rich, and ripped. These attributes can help, but they're all pretty far down the list of what attracts women. Based on my own observation, rather than on internet/pop culture tropes, I can list a bunch of characteristics that are better predictors of how easily a man gets laid:

  • Comfortable, relaxed mannerisms

  • Extraversion

  • Confidence/self-assuredness

  • Wittiness

  • Ability to ramble and avert awkward silence

  • Tendency to make wisecracks and sexual innuendos, rather than serious logical statements

  • Spontaneity/unpredictability

  • Popularity/leader of social group

  • Attractive face

  • Good style (hair, clothes, etc.)

The strain of thought behind this myth takes on other forms, too:

"Bro, just lift weights, focus on your career, and the women will come!" Men absolutely should lift weights and put effort into building a solid career, but if you're struggling with women, becoming a Greek statue who earns $200k/yr still won't remotely turn you into a chick magnet.

"Women's standards aren't that high, I see hot women walking around with regular dudes all the time!" In these cases, regular just means the guy isn't a jacked Adonins, but make no mistake, the guy is not average. He probably embodies most if not all of the traits listed above. These examples don't prove that women aren't brutally selective; they are, but mostly on traits that don't jump out instantly.

And on the other side of this coin, the whole stereotype of guys who can't get laid as fat, unemployed, basement-dwelling, Cheeto dust-coated losers is BS. Guys who struggle to get laid are far more likely to be socially anxious, hyperlogical introverts with bad to mediocre facial genetics.
 

Mike32ct

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I would say height, hair and $ are general quick predictors of success.

But I readily concede that there are many “wildcards” that could tip the odds in a guy’s favor such as attractive facial aesthetics, broad shoulders, blue eyes, aesthetic shaved head, sexy skin tone, big hands, deep voice, etc.*

*This list is far from exhaustive.
 
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Velasco

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B80

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I would say height, hair and $ are general quick predictors of success.

But I readily concede that there are many “wildcards” that could tip the odds in a guy’s favor such as attractive facial aesthetics, broad shoulders, blue eyes, aesthetic shaved head, sexy skin tone, big hands, deep voice, etc.*

*This list is far from exhaustive.
I respect your views, but I honestly don;t think hair plays that big a part mate. And I have met plenty of men/aquintances over the year who were 5"7, maybe under and had no issues with attractive women.

Before xmas was in a bar with a good looking chap who was defo what you'd class as on the shorter side in the west and you could see women gravitating towards him and that was before he even said much or anything interesting, so it was defo physical.

If you're good looking and bald (shaved you hair) or good looking and short you'll start have plenty of interest ime.

If you're out of shape or ugly to below, maybe average it will obviously get harder. But if you're that and tall with a good set of hair. you'll still have issues with women.,

I'm 42, 6"2, ripped, good hair, above average looks (can shows pics if needed :D) and whilst I get attention on nights out, its not like women are throwing themselves at me all the time. Defo get more attention than when I was in my 20's though, barely anything happened back then... maybe as skinnier, lacked confidence. Probably as in better shape, more self assured etc now. Get women (sometuimes appear to be in their early 20's) rubbing themselves into me on half full dance floors etc. So proves physical attraction can be there still with younger women as you get older. Had some freak out when I told them my age, so avoid the question now :D
 
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IKO69

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Was with two women the other day. They were talking about how they had a mutual friend in common and he happened to win the local lottery. After being brought up it REALLY became the focal point of the conversation lol.

Everything matters; there is way too much theorizing that goes on here. Given where the woman is in her life she will prioritize different things but given the choice she will always want an assertive, charismatic ambitious man who is physically attractive to her, and yes these guys don't have to try so hard as we know from living life and seeing what goes on.

The point is to work towards these attributes to the best of our ability and not feel sorry for ourselves.
 

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3agle 3yes

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Though I agree with most of this list OP, I think the most important factor in success comes down to action.

Women on average are passive, even if they find you attractive, expect to do most of the work. At best they will make it easy for you to approach them. However, if you don’t know how to flirt and act around women it won’t go anywhere.

The amount of guys I’ve seen on this forum who talk about their struggles with women, and the first thing they mention is that they’re 6’4 and “fairly good looking“, as if that’s supposed to mean anything.

If you read deeper into these type of men, you’ll see they don’t know how to flirt or behave around women and they seem to think because they’re attractive all they have to do is stand there and act “normal” and women will be dragging them home. It doesn’t work like that.

I know this from experience.

Sometimes, women finding you physically attractive can be a hindrance, at least it used to be for me.

Because they might have higher expectations of you, and if you don’t live up to that, you’re out of the game quite quickly.

Women don’t care about our physical appearance as much as we do them. As we’re the ones approaching, how women look plays a large part on our actions.

But if you’re a woman and men approach you, personality plays a large part on their actions, or should I say reactions.

It‘s not that your appearance is irrelevant, as I know some people will read it this way.

It‘s that thinking about how you look and looking to see if women find you attractive is passive and means you have a lack of control in your interactions.

Believe it or not, men actually hold all the power not women. Us men can make women attracted to us based on how we behave…women don’t have that power.

Yes, being a ”hot” woman seems like the best position to have on the surface, but their physical attractiveness is all they have.

Also:

  • Extraversion
  • Ability to ramble and avert awkward silence
are considerably overrated.

Extraversion doesn’t equal outgoing and introversion doesn’t equal social recluse either.
 
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stringpuller

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I see this nonsense repeated so often on the internet, and I'm convinced nobody could possibly be basing it on actual life experience or observation. It's just an easily digestible mantra that gets mindlessly parroted enough that people start believing it.

The myth isn't that women all want a small subset of men, it's that this small subset of chosen men is chosen for being tall, rich, and ripped. These attributes can help, but they're all pretty far down the list of what attracts women. Based on my own observation, rather than on internet/pop culture tropes, I can list a bunch of characteristics that are better predictors of how easily a man gets laid:

  • Comfortable, relaxed mannerisms

  • Extraversion

  • Confidence/self-assuredness

  • Wittiness

  • Ability to ramble and avert awkward silence

  • Tendency to make wisecracks and sexual innuendos, rather than serious logical statements

  • Spontaneity/unpredictability

  • Popularity/leader of social group

  • Attractive face

  • Good style (hair, clothes, etc.)

The strain of thought behind this myth takes on other forms, too:

"Bro, just lift weights, focus on your career, and the women will come!" Men absolutely should lift weights and put effort into building a solid career, but if you're struggling with women, becoming a Greek statue who earns $200k/yr still won't remotely turn you into a chick magnet.

"Women's standards aren't that high, I see hot women walking around with regular dudes all the time!" In these cases, regular just means the guy isn't a jacked Adonins, but make no mistake, the guy is not average. He probably embodies most if not all of the traits listed above. These examples don't prove that women aren't brutally selective; they are, but mostly on traits that don't jump out instantly.

And on the other side of this coin, the whole stereotype of guys who can't get laid as fat, unemployed, basement-dwelling, Cheeto dust-coated losers is BS. Guys who struggle to get laid are far more likely to be socially anxious, hyperlogical introverts with bad to mediocre facial genetics.
Dude wont know anything until he starts asking girls out in person. All of this revisiting the narritives dont do anything.
Those types think there is something else to memorize or do.
Its not. Its just talking to them.
 

Bethatsocialguy

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Also, people´s attention span is being reduced all over the world so you have a shorter amount of time to make an impression. It so happens that being rich, tall and muscular creates an image of you in such a short amount of time which allows the girl to make a quick judgement. Why listen to 25 other average guys who dont stand out but this one guy has all 3? That is why girls more often than not choose the typical alpha man. There is a chance for more average guys but you have to stand out in some way
 

SW15

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Also, people´s attention span is being reduced all over the world so you have a shorter amount of time to make an impression. It so happens that being rich, tall and muscular creates an image of you in such a short amount of time which allows the girl to make a quick judgement. Why listen to 25 other average guys who dont stand out but this one guy has all 3? That is why girls more often than not choose the typical alpha man. There is a chance for more average guys but you have to stand out in some way
Completely accurate. A guy like @sangheilios who is 6'4" and has big muscles has an immediate advantage over men who are under 6'0" and less muscular. Being 6'0"+ with big muscles is advantage but it is not everything. You have more leeway when you are tall and muscular, but you still need a little bit of charisma to get laid. The charisma requirements for getting laid are lower when you are over 6'0" though, especially with white women, who tend to value that more.

It's not a myth that women are throwing themselves at men that are some combination of tall, rich, or muscular. Tall, rich, or muscular guys tend to have some of the other things as well, most notably and importantly confidence/self-assuredness and comfortable, relaxed mannerisms.
 

Yam_Naem_Kluk

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I've only recently begun efforts to improve my success with women, but the advice I'm seeing everywhere about money and status improving my chances of getting laid is the most confusing part of it all. Like if I have a good job earning X amount of money, it's not like I'm walking around with a signpost above my head saying how much I earn and what I work as. Does this conveying of money/status come from the clothes you wear; is it then possible to feign money and status by dressing sharply?
 

IKO69

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I've only recently begun efforts to improve my success with women, but the advice I'm seeing everywhere about money and status improving my chances of getting laid is the most confusing part of it all. Like if I have a good job earning X amount of money, it's not like I'm walking around with a signpost above my head saying how much I earn and what I work as. Does this conveying of money/status come from the clothes you wear; is it then possible to feign money and status by dressing sharply?
Sure, that is one way to do it. Feigning - You can lead women on to a certain extent by wearing "designer" clothes, fancy watches, all for the purposes of luring them in but I wouldn't consider it wise. Shallow women will test you by wanting to go to fancy restaurants all the time etc, so putting on a front that you have money when you actually don't is not going to work out in the long term.

The way you show status will be by what you say to them. When you have conversations you tell about yourself, what you do and how you love what you do. How things are going well for you in your life (not just the job). This is what they want to hear. All of it has to be genuine of course (you are actively bettering your situation.)
 
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characternote

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It's not a myth? I have 2 friends (one is a close friend) who are chads who get approached by maybe 4-5 hot girls every single time we go out for a night. They can get laid with hot girls at will. They are getting picked up as opposed to doing the picking up

But not worth getting annoyed about or complaining about. It is what it is. Nobody said life was fair lol. Just need to do what we can to look our best and increase the volume with which we approach and we can all have a good time
 

RangerMIke

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In my experience really attractive women don't throw themselves at anyone... mostly because they don't know how.. they have never had to do this.

Oh, I've seen really attractive women in some kind of 'competition' with other chicks at a club or party over a guy, but none of that has anything to do with the dude, but it's something between the women. It's like a catch and release fishing competition.
 

MatureDJ

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Of course, it's a myth - chicks also throw themselves at tall, POOR, ripped "Chads". :rolleyes:
 

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Hamurabimbi

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I would say height, hair and $ are general quick predictors of success.

But I readily concede that there are many “wildcards” that could tip the odds in a guy’s favor such as attractive facial aesthetics, broad shoulders, blue eyes, aesthetic shaved head, sexy skin tone, big hands, deep voice, etc.*

*This list is far from exhaustive.
Face.
 

Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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Is it over-exaggerated? Extremely, but at the end of the day what can you do about it?
 
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eli77

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Completely accurate. A guy like @sangheilios who is 6'4" and has big muscles has an immediate advantage over men who are under 6'0" and less muscular. Being 6'0"+ with big muscles is advantage but it is not everything. You have more leeway when you are tall and muscular, but you still need a little bit of charisma to get laid. The charisma requirements for getting laid are lower when you are over 6'0" though, especially with white women, who tend to value that more.

It's not a myth that women are throwing themselves at men that are some combination of tall, rich, or muscular. Tall, rich, or muscular guys tend to have some of the other things as well, most notably and importantly confidence/self-assuredness and comfortable, relaxed mannerisms.
especially young teenage/twenty somethings who have just hit the real world.
 

zekko

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I'm trying to think of the guys that I've seen women throw themselves at, and I'd say the most common denominator is this: They are guys that women feel safe with, guys who have displayed an ability to fight, displayed a dominance over other men, while simultaneously showing a respect for women (this way the women do not fear the guy turning violent on them). In the modern world, you don't get to see this that often, since violence today tends to draw in the justice system.
 
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