The Long Road Back

[DAardwolf]

Friday night I looked at myself in the mirror and told myself, "You're a piece ****. Of course she doesn't want you. You're not desirable, you miserable unattractive ****."

I don't know at what point I backslid. Looking at my older posts here on SS, I was on the right track in June of 2012. Just a few months after that I was getting laid on a regular basis. My plates were a'spinning, I didn't have to be bored or lonely if I didn't chose to be so.

I was financially stable and moving up. I was in better health than I'd been since my early thirties. My lady "friends" had been shed like dead skin and I only spent time, money, and effort on women that deserved it.

Then that Friday night, coming home alone, broke, after spending money I couldn't afford on a woman that was using me emotionally and monetarily, I hit one of the lowest points of my life since my divorce four years ago.

And now I know I should thank that woman. I should thank her for drinking my money and smoking my cigarettes and dumping her sh!t on me only to leave when she got bored at 2 AM to be with another man.

Because my angst turned into anger. A fire lit up in me that I let go out sometime within the last year. I came back to SS Saturday afternoon, opened up the DJ Bible, and started up again.

From "Fifteen Lessons Printable Lesson Card"

Friendship – abandon all hope all who enter
Judge by actions, not by words
You are the Great Catch
As you think, you shall become

It's time to get back on track. First, go fvck an ex-girlfriend that hit me up earlier today. Then, fix everything else I've managed to break over the last few months.

 

[DAardwolf]

Just got back from the ex's house. I realized on the way there I was making another mistake: I was going in with expectations. I was out for frustrated, angry sex. I stayed relaxed, had a good time and a great meal. When I left, she knew I was interested in something besides food and conversation. And she let me know she was too. Glad I didn't come into the situation mad.

 

[San]

And now I know I should thank that woman. I should thank her for drinking my money and smoking my cigarettes and dumping her sh!t on me only to leave when she got bored at 2 AM to be with another man.

Right on the money.. you have become a better man
and she did you a favor..

 

[DAardwolf]

Financial Health

@San: Thanks much.

I have $12 to last me until Friday.

I see financial health as dieting in reverse. To lose weight, you eat less and move more. To gain money, you spend less and make more.

I went over my receipts for the last three months and found two things that drained me. First, I averaged about $350 a month for booze and bars, half of which I spent on my "friend." I'm also spending around $200 more on gas each month because my primary job has me in the field more often.

Then I wasted almost $1k on bu11sh!+.

I called my boss right after my first post above and let him know I was dissatisfied with my current compensation. He set it up so all of my gas would be paid by the company. I should have done that months ago.

I got lazy.

First rule of being a man: Keep your household in order.

 

[samspade]

It's refreshing to hear a guy owning his mistakes (as Colossus recently suggested we do) rather than shifting all blame to females.

Welcome back. The Game never ends.

 

[DAardwolf]

It's refreshing to hear a guy owning his mistakes (as Colossus recently suggested we do) rather than shifting all blame to females.

Welcome back. The Game never ends.

I agree with Colossus, then.

Blaming a woman for acting on her nature is like being mad at the wind for blowing. That woman who gave me a wake up call on Friday was doing what was in her nature. The situation was a total "my bad."

What I do with it is up to me.

 

[Three]

Yep. Does no good to complain about the women. We are men and in charge of our destiny. BTW, hit the weights, dude. That's a surefire way to help you feel better about yourself quick! I just gained 7 pounds in the last month and feel loads better.

 

[DAardwolf]

Health and the Point of Decline

@Three: Which leads me to my next topic.

I'm in terrible physical shape. I let myself go. I had a coworker that was also an MMA trainer and he would check in on me a couple times a week, give me a challenge, and I would go with it. I slept better, ate better, and was confident.

Now I'm burning through a pack-and-a-half of smokes daily and can go days without having actual sunlight on me. I was also drinking four or five times a week and going on a bender at least twice a month.

This is another damn thing I have to start all over with.

I've been trying to pin-point the exact moment where I decided to fvck it all and be another out-of-shape, low-energy, fat American middle-aged man. I used to scoff at those guys, beer guts, poorly dressed, no hygiene, boring.

I think I found it and I don't like it.

In December, a woman I was dating heavily got engaged to another guy.

I let that fvck me up.

How many times do we read in the DJ Bible: Guard your heart.

This is why the Master DJs suggest that, guys. I didn't get it.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Aardwolf,
You're right can be a long Road,but it is the only road that leads to success and happiness....Just follow the path advocated by the DJ's here and you will be just fine!

 

[DAardwolf]

Good Food and Friends

@Scaramouche: Yep. Following the advice and programs on SS does work. Most of the guys I hang out with in the bars are in their early 20's and I simply quote what I read here to them. They get laid like crazy now. As dorky, nerdy, and awkward as they are, they win over the most gorgeous woman because their sharp-dressed, buff, good looking rivals still act like boys.

_____________________________

I know I'm on track because I've been happier in the last week than I've been in months. Being broke, I'm hanging out with friends more often. Every time I've been at their houses, somebody starts cooking. There's no plan at all. My friend or myself will wander into a kitchen, pans will be brought out, and things get going. I'm better fed and in a better place.

I haven't been to a bar or pool hall or night club since last Friday and don't miss it at all. I'm not sure if I'll go to the regular Friday night hangout tomorrow. I think I should, even if I run into that woman from last Friday.

She's definitely an NC. I've ignored several texts from her already. The challenge is that I work with her at my secondary job. The way I see it, at work everything's fine. But when I leave the parking lot, I vanish. I'll be busy, sleeping, sick, working, making plans, helping a friend, whatever.

 

[DAardwolf]

Game Time

The Friday woman seems to be playing games. I NC'd her and ignored her texts but she still has access to me at work. Friday, she asked for some furniture she had given me back. Then she texted me like crazy today making sure I'd be home.

I want the stuff gone. I figure she won't have any more excuses to contact me after it's gone. And, I'll have the room to upgrade, buying some really nice stuff.

Last night after work I took a buddy for a pint and we hung out for an hour or so. It was a good change to get away from night clubs and sports bars and relax in a pizza joint. He was sniffing around for trouble, though. He kept steering the conversation back to that Friday woman, eventually telling me he thought he had a shot at her.

I laid it out for him. She likes to tease men, keeping promises of vague possibilities hanging in the air to amuse herself. I told him, do what you want, but it's gonna go bad when she gets bored.

I understand he sees a challenge there. He's got at least three plates spinning right now but wants to mess around with fire.

Best of luck to him.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Aardwolf,
If you live in a reasonable size Town then try dancing lessons,after 18 Months,less if you have aptitude you will be a Tiger,will never want for company again!

 

[DAardwolf]

Women Want it Too

One of the lessons we learn here at SS is that women like sex. American men are raised to think that having desire is somehow shameful and that ladies don't want to touch naughty parts.

We know it's not true. My experience Sunday proved that.

I went to visit an ex-GF. Recently we've been hanging out and enjoying each other's company. Last week I escalated it, letting her know, by showing her, that I wanted more than just dinner and good conversation.

When going over to her place I didn't have a game plan. But when she opened the door and I saw her, I immediately grabbed her and kissed her. I didn't ask for permission, didn't check to see if it would be okay, didn't wait to see if she was ready to be casual.

And her reaction was just as aggressive as mine. After, she mentioned she needed that orgasm because it had been too long. The men dating her now are taking way too long to move things up.

I have no idea if there's going to be any push-back on this. I don't care. She knew what that night was about appreciated it as much as I did.

 

[DAardwolf]

Dear Aardwolf,
If you live in a reasonable size Town then try dancing lessons,after 18 Months,less if you have aptitude you will be a Tiger,will never want for company again!

I might do that, Scaramouche. I don't really have an interest in it but haven't tried it. I've seen the same advice in other posts. Really, I can't knock it until I try it.

 

[DAardwolf]

Laziness

I realized over last weekend that I've become lazy. I was focusing only on women who showed IOI and not taking any risks. There's a lot wrong with that.

First, it's my interest in a lady that counts, not the other way around. That's what we learn here on SS. We are the prize.

Also, we know that the reason why non-Alphas end up miserable is because they allow women to chose them. They go the easy way and end up with a wife or girlfriend that has no respect for them.

I'm turning that around. Saturday and Sunday I promised myself I would approach any woman that I found interesting. There were no other qualifiers like time or place or social settings or what she looked like. I was not outright rejected once and almost snagged a number until my boss showed up and pulled me away for shop talk. (I wasn't at work, BTW. We just crossed paths by coincidence. Fvking blocked by my boss...)

Last night I had a pint with a coworker and noticed an interesting woman at the bar. I left it alone because she was with someone. My young coworker asked me if I'd left my balls at home... so I approached her and stole the conversation from the mousy little man.

Evidently the man had a problem with me because he walked out right on my heals as my buddy and I left. We laughed as he angrily glared at us and drove away mad... alone.

I couldn't close, so I'll work on the number grab. Time to hit the DJ Bible.

 

[Interceptor]

DAardwolf,

be careful that you don't create a process of handling all this through fluffing your Ego.

I wouldn't like that you end up in a similar situation yet again, because all this time you hadn't gone to the root of the problem and worked on satisfying ego cravings.

 

[DAardwolf]

GREAT point. Story of my life. Aggressive women are sh1t women. Women who want to chase you love the chase, not you.

Heyas, PairPlus. I have to admit I like aggressive women but that's not exactly what I was aiming for. See, lazy guys will wait for definite signs, won't make a move, and these aggressive women pick them as a great daddy or husband or emotional tampon. In any case, they play a passive role while more aggressive men get all the fun and respect.

 

[DAardwolf]

Let's Just NOT Be Friends

I suppose there's a reason why I rarely read on SS that you should tell a lady who LJBF'd that you don't want to be friends anymore. The drama is terrible.

I hung out with a lady that friend-zoned me a year ago. She's fun and pays her own way so I didn't expect the sudden silliness of her telling me of an indiscretion she had. Back about a year ago she let a guy fvk her when she was living with a guy she would eventually marry. He's come sniffing around again. She was confused.

Why is he suddenly contacting me?
He wants to fvk you.
But why now?
Because he wants to fvk you now.
But he already did! That can't be all...
He wants to fvk you again.

WTH? I wanted only to have a few drinks and hang out and this is what I was putting up with. So I told her- do whatever you want but I don't want to hear about it and I don't want to be your friend if you do.

Annnnnnddddd... she starting crying and sniffling and getting sad.

I felt like an a$$hole. I was, after, quite rude. I even surprised myself. I had an emotional response that was way out of character for me. Jealousy, I believe, on my part.

I calmed her a$$ down and apologized. But a few hours later the subject was changed and things were fine. Or not.

So, here's what I learned. It's better to be like a ninja and vanish into the shadows than try to take on that much emotion head-on.

 

[Solomon]

Great thread

I suppose there's a reason why I rarely read on SS that you should tell a lady who LJBF'd that you don't want to be friends anymore. The drama is terrible.

I hung out with a lady that friend-zoned me a year ago. She's fun and pays her own way so I didn't expect the sudden silliness of her telling me of an indiscretion she had. Back about a year ago she let a guy fvk her when she was living with a guy she would eventually marry. He's come sniffing around again. She was confused.

Why is he suddenly contacting me?
He wants to fvk you.
But why now?
Because he wants to fvk you now.
But he already did! That can't be all...
He wants to fvk you again.

WTH? I wanted only to have a few drinks and hang out and this is what I was putting up with. So I told her- do whatever you want but I don't want to hear about it and I don't want to be your friend if you do.

Annnnnnddddd... she starting crying and sniffling and getting sad.

I felt like an a$$hole. I was, after, quite rude. I even surprised myself. I had an emotional response that was way out of character for me. Jealousy, I believe, on my part.

I calmed her a$$ down and apologized. But a few hours later the subject was changed and things were fine. Or not.

So, here's what I learned. It's better to be like a ninja and vanish into the shadows than try to take on that much emotion head-on.

First I wanna give you props on this thread, this may be one of the best threads in the KJIng section I mean mature men section in awhile. I can totally relate to your post of having made mistakes cause I have made a few as well hence I'm back on this site.

In regards to your female friend. I've been there all I would suggest is not to hang out with women like this. There toxic. I use to be friends with a women just like this. She FZ'd me, and we would hang out or talk and because I was blinded by my emotions for her the reality is she was/is a huge slut. I think this was confirmed when we went out one night and she showed her friend a picture of the guy she lost her virginity too and all you could see was his penis, there were other things.

But I not to hijack this thread, I cut her off when she decided to lead one of my buddies on and I finally called her out on being a slut, she literally had a mental breakdown and went into rage mode at me. I never heard from her again although I do see her profile up on POF so that tells me she is still slutting it up.

My point is women like this never change unless they go thru a traumatic experience or get fed up with the "slut" lifestyle. These women usually have some sort of an entitlement or mental issue and hence are toxic

 

[DAardwolf]

This is Not a Program

this may be one of the best threads in the KJIng section I mean mature men section in awhile

Be nice. There are a number of us old fvks here actually getting away from the computer and doing things instead of just reading about it.

My point is women like this never change unless they go thru a traumatic experience or get fed up with the "slut" lifestyle. These women usually have some sort of an entitlement or mental issue and hence are toxic

I know she's crazy. But until that night I didn't care. But I think you're right. "Friendship- abandon all hope."

---------------------------------------------------

Since I've been back here I've been getting negative feedback from some women, "I thought we were friends," or, "What happened to you?" and positive from others, "It's about time you grew some balls and made a move."

Damn... I went so fvking far off the program in a year.

I have begun to assert myself again, and take back my manhood. Some of my "friends" don't like it. They don't talk to me anymore. Others love it, and I look forward to pushing their boundaries.

In actuality, SS isn't as much as a program as much as asserting your g-dmn right to be a man. From simple things like, "it's okay to like woman for her nice rack" to "it's "okay to stand up for yourself and be yourself."

I used to have a minimum age of 35 when it came to dating. How did that work out? It didn't. There's an entire age bracket that wants nothing to do with me, and the feeling is mutual. Women from 30 to 50 are boring, over-valued, low-energy, and not very bright, creative or generally interesting. And you have to have either money or great looks to consideration from them.

My last date was with a 23-year-old. She was passionate, intelligent, and believe or not more mature than my female contemporaries. And she gave me a "gimme" in the car because she didn't want to send me home all wound up after making out for an hour.

I have never had a woman near my age say, "Well, we can't have you in a wreck on the way home. Take it out and I'll take care of you."

But my 57-year-old FB has.

The point is, there's is no rule, no reason, for me to have to date within a certain age range. I can date and fvk whoever I want as long as we're all consenting adults.

I actually tried for several months to stay with an "acceptable" age limit. Why the he!l did I waste my time?

Logically, there's actually no reason why women near my age are such a let-down. There has to be an exception, right? I live in an area of over 3 million people. But so far, I haven't found an exceptional 40-something to date. It's illogical.

So here's my theory.

It's me.

Let me explain. I'm in great shape and form for my age. I'm decent looking. I'm always on the go. The longest I've sat down today was to type this. That's because I've got sh!t I want to do. Plans, appointments, dates, hobbies, I'm a moving target.

Ladies my age... not so much. They're in bed by 10. They do chores on weekends. They worry about... well, just about everything. Their adult kids are a$$holes, their ex's are still in the picture as a "fall back." And they are fearful.

Young women are all about risks and challenges. Older women have "been there, done that." Neither of these extremes in age would think twice about calling in sick so I can drive them to a last-minute, mid-week getaway.

But the 40-somethings? "Who will feed the cat, what if my boss gets mad, what if my kid winds up in jail, who will watch my grand-baby because my daughter/son is living in my basement and is looking for a job?"