No one will disagree that the "First Date" is important whether your going for an LTR, or a quickie. But, few on this board really consider the importance of that second date. The First Date is important because it sets a foundation in terms of creating shared common values between two people. Based on how well your interests mesh, you may or may not get a green light by being told to call her. Even then, there is nothing binding that states a second date can occur. But lets assume that the HB you just went out with is interested in that "Second Date." What can you assume by her desire to have a "Second Date." THERE IS ONE THING, AND ONLY ONE THING YOU CAN ASSUME: CONGRATULATIONS YOU PAST HER FIRST TEST, MANY PROSPECTIVE INTERESTS HAVE BEEN WEEDED OUT. BUT YOU'RE NOT IN YET.
The "Second Date," arguably is far more important than the "First Date" for one simple reason. What happens on the "Second Date" serves to qualify or disqualify you in terms of whether or not she should continue to cultivate some kind of realtionship with you. The "First Date" serves to create the common ground as said earlier, while the "Second Date" gives her a chance to focus on how well you two really mesh in the real world. Example: You two claim to have an avid interest in ice skating, and you expound greatly upon the subject. You decide that your second date should be to a ice skating rink.(Duh) Though you talked as if you were a natural, you skate like Helen Keller drives a car. As a result not only to you hurt yourself, but you look bad doing it. She sees this, equates it to possible future situations involving other stuff you claimed to have a common ground in. So seeing how badly you preformed, and embarrassingly for that matter, she isn't going to be compelled to further things with you. Seems crazy you might say. Well not really when you consider all the snap judgements people make everyday. Next time your in a public place, look at a good looking person. You'll catch yourself assigning them having moral traits that are admirable. Look at and ugly, or dishevelled person, and you will catch yourself assigning them immoral qualities, or as people capable of partaking in certain immoral actions. Why else do people act so shocked when a good looking person does something wrong. And why else would people say "He looks like the kind of person who would do that." When they see and ugly person who had done something wrong. Well for a woman, the "Second Date" usually verifies you as relationship material in the real world. This is because women can focus on your actions, and not focus on creating a common ground, like in the "First Date."
Well after my guide to the "First Date," many of you expressed an interest in my creating a guide for the "Second Date." Well I proudly present this guide for your approval, and wish you the best of luck for having a sucessful "Second Date."
CALLING HER UP:
Well she told you to call, and hopefully you said you'd talk to her later.(That way she's left wondering if you really will, and builds up so anticipation in her mind.) Don't call the day after a date, its clingy, its predictable, and you look dumb asking "Did you have a good time?" When you know she did. The only time you should call her the day after something is when its the day after sex. If you don't then your risking your butt.(But thats another subject for another time.) You should wait at least 3 to 7 days, depending on a few factors.
1. How you felt the date went. If you had a good time call around day three. If you had an okay time then calling around day 6 or 7 is fine.
2. You need time to asses if she is worth it or not. You may pickup on little subtle clues about her as a person a few days after the "First Date." What the those clues reveal may very well determine if you want to see her again or not.
3. You need to calm down. You had a great time and emotions are running high. EMOTIONS ARE THE ENEMY OF THE DJ, AFCs GET SWEPT UP IN EMOTION AND STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW TO MAINTAIN IL AND PROTECTING THEIR HEART. Instead they start to daydream about how it will bud into something more and the rush off right away to call the girl. Excitement and desperation can smell pretty much the same. Think of it as an emotional detox period in which you can insure your operating on sound logic.
4. Your Schedule. Hey its your time you're giving up. If you need to do important things, why do you want someone else mess up the priorities in your life.
5. Your Budget. Calling right away for a "Second Date" many not be financially possible, especially if your in college. Dates can be expensive, so you want to have enough money to do something decent.(If your throwing down more than 50 to 60 dollars on a date, then there is a problem. Grey Fox: "Wait, I thought I heard a pick axe. Yes, yes I did, why it sounds like a gold digger to me.")
6. Test her IL. After not hearing from you for a couple of days, you'll see whether or not she is excited to hear from you again when she answers to phone and hears your voice.
LOCATION OF THE SECOND DATE:
Well if your "First Date" was an action date. Now would be a good time to go for "Dinner and a Movie" or "Drinks at a Bar." That way you can show her that your just as fun talking to as your are running around with. Vice Versa, if you did the whole "Dinner and a Movie," now would be a good time to show her that your not only well versed, but your competive and physicall as well.(It can be a turn on for a woman.) The "Second Date" should try to involve something from your common interests that you learned about each other from the first date. If you like ice skating, go ice skating, just don't fall on your face. There are two good reasons why you should involve a common interest activity on your second date.
1. Your doing something you a naturally comfortable doing. Therefore you will have a better time and preform better during the date.(Not that kind of preforming.) Do something unnatural and you will act unnatural.
2. Its shows you...listened!(Women around the world gasp in amazement.) Yeah it shows you actually to an active interest in getting to know her during the first date, and you are interested is some of the things she does. This will impress most women, and to be sure politely drop the fact you listened by saying: "Well we talked about it last time, and I thought it would be nice if we could do something we both can enjoy, together."
WHEN YOU PICK HER UP:
The "Second Date" is a good time to bring her flowers. Bring about 5 roses, it says your interested, but it won't freak her out if like if you brought her 12. Be a decent guy and hold the doors open for her and stuff. Try to walk arm in arm, if she wants she'll move her hand down to hold hands.(This is a good sign).
DURNING THE DATE:
Be sure she knows that you find her both attractive for her moral/intellectual and sex qualities. Kino is a must on the "Second Date," you built that comfort zone up on the "First Date" for a reason. If your at an action date, say mini golf or pool, you have a golden oppurtunity for Kino. If she is not good at the activity, give some instruction on it, being sure to show her how to position the pool cue or golf club right.(If you need to be told to get close and touch her while doing this, then how did you ever get past the first date?) Be ****y and Funny, smile have a good time, get to know each other more. But don't give away the whole show by telling her your life story, she is not Barabra Walters and your not on 20/20. Just like the "Second Date" allows her to see you in the real world, it allows you to see her in the real world as well. If she turns out to something your not into then better you know now than 3 months and 200 dollars down the road.(AFC: Why sure I'll buy a car/necklace/expensive dinner, what else am I good for!) Some green and red flags to look for on the "Second Date."
RED FLAGS:
1. She's not thrilled that you two are not undertaking an expensive activity. She looks away, seems distant, and loses interest.
2. How she acts, and who she claimed to be as a person don't measure up.
3. She talks about other guys to much, acts like this is just friends getting together and not as a real date.
4. Awkward silences, yawns, faked laughs and smiles.
Usually your looking for things that denote negativity, poor values, or traits that I.D. her as a professional dater.
GREEN FLAGS(Greem means go for you AFCs):
1. She's excited to see you, and raring to go.
2. She's touching you back, a lot more than you are touch her. She likes to get close to you, leans in when your talking.
3. She holds your hand, and does things to make a show that you two are "together."
4. She's laughing, smiling, and even hinting at sexual things.
Usually here your looking for things that show high IL and actions that denote her as wanting to become more attached to you.
AFTER THE DATE:
Well there is always the possibility for a sex close if you have done well. If you haven't kissed her, now is the time to do it if and only if the date is ending on a good note. Be polite and walk her to the door, listen to what she says. If she hasn't mentioned you calling her, or wanting to do something in the future, then she might not be interested. Whatever happens wait at least 3 to 5 days to call her for any follow up dates and stuff. If she plays games then wait longer if needed.
The "Second Date," arguably is far more important than the "First Date" for one simple reason. What happens on the "Second Date" serves to qualify or disqualify you in terms of whether or not she should continue to cultivate some kind of realtionship with you. The "First Date" serves to create the common ground as said earlier, while the "Second Date" gives her a chance to focus on how well you two really mesh in the real world. Example: You two claim to have an avid interest in ice skating, and you expound greatly upon the subject. You decide that your second date should be to a ice skating rink.(Duh) Though you talked as if you were a natural, you skate like Helen Keller drives a car. As a result not only to you hurt yourself, but you look bad doing it. She sees this, equates it to possible future situations involving other stuff you claimed to have a common ground in. So seeing how badly you preformed, and embarrassingly for that matter, she isn't going to be compelled to further things with you. Seems crazy you might say. Well not really when you consider all the snap judgements people make everyday. Next time your in a public place, look at a good looking person. You'll catch yourself assigning them having moral traits that are admirable. Look at and ugly, or dishevelled person, and you will catch yourself assigning them immoral qualities, or as people capable of partaking in certain immoral actions. Why else do people act so shocked when a good looking person does something wrong. And why else would people say "He looks like the kind of person who would do that." When they see and ugly person who had done something wrong. Well for a woman, the "Second Date" usually verifies you as relationship material in the real world. This is because women can focus on your actions, and not focus on creating a common ground, like in the "First Date."
Well after my guide to the "First Date," many of you expressed an interest in my creating a guide for the "Second Date." Well I proudly present this guide for your approval, and wish you the best of luck for having a sucessful "Second Date."
CALLING HER UP:
Well she told you to call, and hopefully you said you'd talk to her later.(That way she's left wondering if you really will, and builds up so anticipation in her mind.) Don't call the day after a date, its clingy, its predictable, and you look dumb asking "Did you have a good time?" When you know she did. The only time you should call her the day after something is when its the day after sex. If you don't then your risking your butt.(But thats another subject for another time.) You should wait at least 3 to 7 days, depending on a few factors.
1. How you felt the date went. If you had a good time call around day three. If you had an okay time then calling around day 6 or 7 is fine.
2. You need time to asses if she is worth it or not. You may pickup on little subtle clues about her as a person a few days after the "First Date." What the those clues reveal may very well determine if you want to see her again or not.
3. You need to calm down. You had a great time and emotions are running high. EMOTIONS ARE THE ENEMY OF THE DJ, AFCs GET SWEPT UP IN EMOTION AND STOP THINKING ABOUT HOW TO MAINTAIN IL AND PROTECTING THEIR HEART. Instead they start to daydream about how it will bud into something more and the rush off right away to call the girl. Excitement and desperation can smell pretty much the same. Think of it as an emotional detox period in which you can insure your operating on sound logic.
4. Your Schedule. Hey its your time you're giving up. If you need to do important things, why do you want someone else mess up the priorities in your life.
5. Your Budget. Calling right away for a "Second Date" many not be financially possible, especially if your in college. Dates can be expensive, so you want to have enough money to do something decent.(If your throwing down more than 50 to 60 dollars on a date, then there is a problem. Grey Fox: "Wait, I thought I heard a pick axe. Yes, yes I did, why it sounds like a gold digger to me.")
6. Test her IL. After not hearing from you for a couple of days, you'll see whether or not she is excited to hear from you again when she answers to phone and hears your voice.
LOCATION OF THE SECOND DATE:
Well if your "First Date" was an action date. Now would be a good time to go for "Dinner and a Movie" or "Drinks at a Bar." That way you can show her that your just as fun talking to as your are running around with. Vice Versa, if you did the whole "Dinner and a Movie," now would be a good time to show her that your not only well versed, but your competive and physicall as well.(It can be a turn on for a woman.) The "Second Date" should try to involve something from your common interests that you learned about each other from the first date. If you like ice skating, go ice skating, just don't fall on your face. There are two good reasons why you should involve a common interest activity on your second date.
1. Your doing something you a naturally comfortable doing. Therefore you will have a better time and preform better during the date.(Not that kind of preforming.) Do something unnatural and you will act unnatural.
2. Its shows you...listened!(Women around the world gasp in amazement.) Yeah it shows you actually to an active interest in getting to know her during the first date, and you are interested is some of the things she does. This will impress most women, and to be sure politely drop the fact you listened by saying: "Well we talked about it last time, and I thought it would be nice if we could do something we both can enjoy, together."
WHEN YOU PICK HER UP:
The "Second Date" is a good time to bring her flowers. Bring about 5 roses, it says your interested, but it won't freak her out if like if you brought her 12. Be a decent guy and hold the doors open for her and stuff. Try to walk arm in arm, if she wants she'll move her hand down to hold hands.(This is a good sign).
DURNING THE DATE:
Be sure she knows that you find her both attractive for her moral/intellectual and sex qualities. Kino is a must on the "Second Date," you built that comfort zone up on the "First Date" for a reason. If your at an action date, say mini golf or pool, you have a golden oppurtunity for Kino. If she is not good at the activity, give some instruction on it, being sure to show her how to position the pool cue or golf club right.(If you need to be told to get close and touch her while doing this, then how did you ever get past the first date?) Be ****y and Funny, smile have a good time, get to know each other more. But don't give away the whole show by telling her your life story, she is not Barabra Walters and your not on 20/20. Just like the "Second Date" allows her to see you in the real world, it allows you to see her in the real world as well. If she turns out to something your not into then better you know now than 3 months and 200 dollars down the road.(AFC: Why sure I'll buy a car/necklace/expensive dinner, what else am I good for!) Some green and red flags to look for on the "Second Date."
RED FLAGS:
1. She's not thrilled that you two are not undertaking an expensive activity. She looks away, seems distant, and loses interest.
2. How she acts, and who she claimed to be as a person don't measure up.
3. She talks about other guys to much, acts like this is just friends getting together and not as a real date.
4. Awkward silences, yawns, faked laughs and smiles.
Usually your looking for things that denote negativity, poor values, or traits that I.D. her as a professional dater.
GREEN FLAGS(Greem means go for you AFCs):
1. She's excited to see you, and raring to go.
2. She's touching you back, a lot more than you are touch her. She likes to get close to you, leans in when your talking.
3. She holds your hand, and does things to make a show that you two are "together."
4. She's laughing, smiling, and even hinting at sexual things.
Usually here your looking for things that show high IL and actions that denote her as wanting to become more attached to you.
AFTER THE DATE:
Well there is always the possibility for a sex close if you have done well. If you haven't kissed her, now is the time to do it if and only if the date is ending on a good note. Be polite and walk her to the door, listen to what she says. If she hasn't mentioned you calling her, or wanting to do something in the future, then she might not be interested. Whatever happens wait at least 3 to 5 days to call her for any follow up dates and stuff. If she plays games then wait longer if needed.
