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mikedee

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English is not my first language.

Hi guys,
I'm in my mid 30s, I'm a foreign student and I live in a university dorm. When I arrived here, approximately 1.5 year ago, I met this girl on my floor: a hot 20yo HB 8.5. We introduced each other but that's pretty much it. I saw her a few times, said hi, but we never really talked to each other. She has a boyfriend and I saw her with him 1-2 times. All good.

A few weeks ago, I decided to invite her to go ice skating (there is a free ice rink not far from the dorm), it was really random.So, I knock at her door, she opens and looks very surprised to see me. She smiles, ask me how's everything, we talk for 4-5mins, she enjoys the conversation. Then I ask her if she wants to come with me at the ice rink. She says that she has a boyfriend, she can't unfortunately, she makes me understand that she is not that "type". I say all right, I'm about to leave but she invites me to come inside and talk. At this point, I don't understand, it makes no sense. She doesn't want to go ice skating because she is taken but she invites me in her room, only me and her. I say ok, I come inside, she makes tea and we talk for 20-30mins then I tell her I have to leave. I get up, and walk toward the door. In the vestibule, she tells me that she's glad that I came to see her, that we know each other more and tells me to come see her anytime. She smiles, her body language is clear, she send IOIs, I feel some sexual tension. She wouldn't have invited me inside if she was not interested, she doesn't talk to anybody on the floor. She knows I'm older but she doesn't ask question about it.

A few days later, I invite her to come to MY room this time, I'm sure she is gonna refuse but to my surprise, she agrees. She comes to my room, her phone rings she gets out of my room to talk. I make tea, she comes back, we talk for a while, there is tension. On her way out, she tells me that we are only going to see each other after Holidays. 3-4 weeks later, I go knock on her door: whats up how you doing, happy new year.. She invites me to come inside again. Same things.

Now her roommate is back, and I feel she is a bit more distant when her roommate is around, like she knows she playing with fire. But every time I see her on the street, she always talk to me and send signals, if she was single I would think she wants me big time. I'm always the one who ends the conversation. Last time that she invited me in her room, she told me about her boyfriend a bit. She said they've been together for 1.5years, they are classmates. She said that lately they argue a lot and everything, that it's not easy. She showed me a picture of them together and said that she wish that they are going to stay together have a family bla bla bla (she is Russian, she is a "good" girl, traditional values, dont drink, dont smoke, dont party...) She was dressed with a sweatpant and crop tshirt, she was super hot and sexy. I'm sure his boyfriend wouldn't appreciate me being in her room alone with her, especially dressed up like that.

After that, I told myself to forget her, it's a waste of time and too complicated, I don't want problem with her boyfriend. I met her on the street yesterday, and she still sends IOIs, there is still a connection between us. I don't know her boyfriend personally but he looks pretty beta to me, he already bought her a big diamond ring. When I saw that, I asked: are you married? she said no no! I'm not even "fiancé", it's just a ring that he bought as a sign of commitment... After a year and a half, buying a ring like that to a girl, wtf? He's 21yo, They are the same age. I saw them together last summer, at that time I didn't know her very much, I casually waved at her she waved back, her boyfriend looked at me with hostility, he looks insecure. She's too hot for him.

Now I'm a bit confused, I feel that if I do a move on her she is going to back off, but at the same time she looks interested. She's only 20yo, she probably knows that she is missing out by having a boyfriend, their relationship looks so serious, they are only 20-21yo. I'm not convinced she is 100% happy with him, looks like she's stuck in a routine, she needs adventure, excitement. Her life looks pretty boring, her boyfriend too.

I don't know what to do.
Any advice?

Cheers!
 
Last edited:

TheNewStyle123

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You're doing good so far man. You've already planted the seed. Keep playing it cool and aloof. Don't press or pursue too much. In fact, I bet if you back off a little from her SHE will come pursuing you even a little more. Based on your story it sounds like she knows she has a beta (boring bf, boring life, etc.) and is probably looking for some sort of thrill. If she made it a point to state she wasn't married or even engaged she seems to be acknowledging the fact that she is not 'that' committed.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Maybe slide something like "You know, I really respect women who go for what they want in life. There aren't many out there who do. They just get stuck in a boring routine, day after day where they are unhappy but they stick with it because it is easy not because it makes them happy. It must really suck for them to know there is a whole fun, exciting world out there they choose not to be a part of."
Into a conversation.

Totally nonchalant, maybe as you see someone doing something fun nearby as use them as an example. Or on the converse, find someone that looks unhappy and point it out using that.

It will be a totally normal convo that has nothing to do with her but when she is alone she will remember what you said and it will make her start thinking..."am I like the unhappy girl with the boring routine missing out on fun and excitement?" And she will equate that fun and excitement with you...

Plant the seed and let her mind water it while you are away from her.

This is ninja level mind fvck stuff.
 

mikedee

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Maybe slide something like "You know, I really respect women who go for what they want in life. There aren't many out there who do. They just get stuck in a boring routine, day after day where they are unhappy but they stick with it because it is easy not because it makes them happy. It must really suck for them to know there is a whole fun, exciting world out there they choose not to be a part of."
Into a conversation.

Totally nonchalant, maybe as you see someone doing something fun nearby as use them as an example. Or on the converse, find someone that looks unhappy and point it out using that.

It will be a totally normal convo that has nothing to do with her but when she is alone she will remember what you said and it will make her start thinking..."am I like the unhappy girl with the boring routine missing out on fun and excitement?" And she will equate that fun and excitement with you...

Plant the seed and let her mind water it while you are away from her.

This is ninja level mind fvck stuff.
I told her something like that already. I think it got her thinking.
I sent her a first text today, after a month and a half. Now I exist in her phone. If she texts me by herself, I think it will be a sign that she's ready to have some fun. Do you think the fact that they are in the same class is gonna to hold her? The way I see it, if she cheats, either she cheats but keep it secret or she cheats and breaks up with him (before or after having sekc).
 

mikedee

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Yesterday I texted her a picture a the place where we get the sputnik shot, I got the shot (we had a conversation about this the day before). it goes like that (what written in russian)

me -picture
her -oh my god, you've decided to go, good luck
me -i've just did it, are you at home?
her -how do you feel?
her -no I'm at the store
me -i wanted to see you
her -I'm going to see friends with my roommate :( :(
me -cool, enjoy
her -how do you feel? (again)
me -all good
her -if you need something or feel bad, let me know, I'm gonna help you. (I see this as a kind of invitation to reach out or stay in touch, but maybe it's in my head)

She now goes to my gym, I saw her today. I was a bit surprised but I kept the masculine frame, didn't react much, stayed cool and laid back. Oh my god she was hot... We chatted for 2-3mins, she told me she was happy to see me, she was smiling like usual, I said me too and returned to my work out. Before she left, she walked up to me and told me "enjoy your workout" with a big smile (we were in the same room), I said thanks. She left. When she got dressed and was about to leave the gym, I saw her looking at in my direction from the gym tourniquet.

I feel she is attracted, she send signals. I'm pretty sure she thinks about me. I just don't know how to move this to the next level. The thing that bugs me it's the fact that she has a boyfriend, she mentions him from time to time but she is never emotional about what she says about him, like when I ask her what are her plans for the day/evening she sometimes says I'm might see my boyfriend, or my boyfriend goes to another gym, my boyfriend does that, etc. I think she doesn't really know what to do either. I'm not just a regular "friend" but we hadn't any kino/physical contact yet.

I'm thinking of doing a move, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. I feel we are getting closer, now she goes to my gym, we text. I wonder why she doesn't go to the gym where her boyfriend goes? I told her I go to gym XYZ, now she goes to my gym, they gym is closer and cheaper but I would have expected her to want to work out with her boyfriend.

Any thoughts?
 

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Romanemp22

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You're older and therefore you have advantage over her boyfriend, especially if he's beta and looks like one.

From my experience whenever a girl who is 'taken' talks about her having problems with her boyfriend (trouble in paradise) it's her way of telling you that she wants you to make a move on her.

Especially by the way she flirts with you, you need to make a move. You really got nothing to lose and I guarantee you it will be success, girls can't resist guys who have their sh1t together and who are going after what they want.
 

samspade

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She was alone with you in her room, and then in yours. A girl doesn't do that unless she wants you to fukk her. Women aren't stupid. Based on the background about her boyfriend, it sounds like he's far more "serious" than she is - the ring is an attempt to force her to be kept. He is probably nice enough but it's clear she's not that interested in the setup he wants. Honestly, you probably could have fukked her either time you were alone, or at least gotten her going, but it's not so bad you didn't either because you're building some tension and getting her motor running.

Tell her your arm is sore from the shot, can she come over and have a look at it. She DID offer, after all. (That is, if you want to get entangled in a girl with a boyfriend...sometimes there's drama no matter how well you handle it, keep that in mind.)
 

ThisIsSparta

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I'm thinking of doing a move, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. I feel we are getting closer, now she goes to my gym, we text. I wonder why she doesn't go to the gym where her boyfriend goes?

Any thoughts?
You think and wonder to much.

Escalation should have happened when she was in your room.

Make your move or move on (or get friendzoned, if you arent already).
 

mikedee

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You think and wonder to much.

Escalation should have happened when she was in your room.

Make your move or move on (or get friendzoned, if you arent already).
I don't think I'm in the friendzone, but I will have to make a move next time I see her, I get it. I will try to invite her in my room again. It's more tricky since her roommate came back, She is more "hesitant" to be alone with me, while her roommate is around, she is being watched.
 

ThisIsSparta

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She is more "hesitant" to be alone with me, while her roommate is around, she is being watched.
If a woman has interest she finds a way to see you in a couple of days. If she loses herself in excuses, you are friendzoned.


You described her BF as insecure and beta. Maybe you stired that same impression of you in her by not making the move.
You spent quite a lot of time talking to her in intimate situations, in a non-escalating way and thats what women do with friends.

But thats just what i read out of your lines and i can be wrong.

So by all means, make your move.
Just make sure her BF is not the kid of some mafia-boss as he clearly isnt short on the money. ;)
 

mikedee

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If a woman has interest she finds a way to see you in a couple of days. If she loses herself in excuses, you are friendzoned.


You described her BF as insecure and beta. Maybe you stired that same impression of you in her by not making the move.
You spent quite a lot of time talking to her in intimate situations, in a non-escalating way and thats what women do with friends.

But thats just what i read out of your lines and i can be wrong.

So by all means, make your move.
Just make sure her BF is not the kid of some mafia-boss as he clearly isnt short on the money. ;)
We don't talk or see each other that much, I keep a distance between us, no comfort really. Yes to be honest I worry a bit about what could happen if her boyfriend discovers that Im trying to fvck (or already) fvcked his gf. He looks beta to me, but never judge a book by his cover, you know. That's why I'm a bit hesitant, I don't want trouble, Russian can be tough sometimes..
 

Charm2K

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We don't talk or see each other that much, I keep a distance between us, no comfort really. Yes to be honest I worry a bit about what could happen if her boyfriend discovers that Im trying to fvck (or already) fvcked his gf. He looks beta to me, but never judge a book by his cover, you know. That's why I'm a bit hesitant, I don't want trouble, Russian can be tough sometimes..
You have to simplify the process. Decide do you want to **** her or not ? If the answer is yes, go all in then. If not, then forget about her asap and move on with your life. Dont hessistate.
 

Bokanovsky

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We don't talk or see each other that much, I keep a distance between us, no comfort really. Yes to be honest I worry a bit about what could happen if her boyfriend discovers that Im trying to fvck (or already) fvcked his gf. He looks beta to me, but never judge a book by his cover, you know. That's why I'm a bit hesitant, I don't want trouble, Russian can be tough sometimes..
Out of curiosity, what is your background? Which country are you from?
 

GT40

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You missed the chance. She escalated. Next time rail her. Don’t be Beta and miss out
 

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mikedee

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It's dead.
I invited her and she said she was busy. She has found a job not so long ago. I know she is really busy: university + work, it's really heavy. She told me that we probably won't meet because she has university, job, boyfriend and gym/sport. It's clear. I'm ok with that.

Maybe I shouldn't have waited that long to make a move or maybe it's a good thing I didn't make a move. I think she liked the trill to be desired by another man when she had more time and when her roommate was not around, now it's more complicated, she is busy and don't have time for that. She prefers to stay with her boyfriend, I respect that. If she changes her mind, she knows where to find me. I'm not in the friendzone, she knows I want to have sekc with her, she knows since the beginning.

On my side, I see it as a good opportunity to go meet other girls, single girls. I noticed I got lazy lately. If we bump into each other, I will be the same guy, keep building the attraction like nothing happened but I won't pursue her no more.

Thanks for you help guys
 

bat soup

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It's dead.
I invited her and she said she was busy. She has found a job not so long ago. I know she is really busy: university + work, it's really heavy. She told me that we probably won't meet because she has university, job, boyfriend and gym/sport. It's clear. I'm ok with that.

Maybe I shouldn't have waited that long to make a move or maybe it's a good thing I didn't make a move. I think she liked the trill to be desired by another man when she had more time and when her roommate was not around, now it's more complicated, she is busy and don't have time for that. She prefers to stay with her boyfriend, I respect that. If she changes her mind, she knows where to find me. I'm not in the friendzone, she knows I want to have sekc with her, she knows since the beginning.

On my side, I see it as a good opportunity to go meet other girls, single girls. I noticed I got lazy lately. If we bump into each other, I will be the same guy, keep building the attraction like nothing happened but I won't pursue her no more.

Thanks for you help guys
If a woman says the word "busy", throw away her number.
 

mikedee

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If a woman says the word "busy", throw away her number.
I won't throw her number because she might reach out in the future, who knows? It has happened to me a few times (like the other virgin girl) but I won't contact her anymore. I need to get my mojo back.
 
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