BGMan
Master Don Juan
In this post, I will attempt to describe the different kinds of girls you may run into, out in the field. Note, you must be getting the phone numbers of all those attractive girls that you at least come into regular contact with! (See my “Get Her @#$% Phone Number” post if you need this drummed into your skull!) AFCs suffering from one-itis will never discover this fascinating phenomenon, that dating really is a numbers game (sounds like an over-used cliche, I know...). Unless you find a fantastic chick that everything just clicks well immediately with, you really must get several girls' phone numbers so you can have any girls at all to date!
Now, back to the matter at hand. Once you have your numbers, you now must call them. Calling a girl is a lot like getting her number – scary at first, not so much later. But you will run into four types in your travels, which I will attempt to lay down as accurately as I can.
First of all... there's the girl that won't give you her digits. In my case, about one-fifth of the girls I close refuse to give me their phone number; once these have been weeded out, you can concentrate on the remainder. Results may vary; I’m usually very careful about ascertaining whether or not a girl has a boyfriend, and they often will mention him when you talk to them. One rule of thumb is that the more open and easy-to-talk-to girls are those who are least likely to be available, a phenomenon I call “Murphy’s Blarney Law”.
Then, once those are gone, you must call the rest. There are three kinds of girls who do give you their number; their behavior once you call them falls into these groups. First of all, the girl may be interested, but turns out to be unavailable for one reason or another; for instance, she has a kid (a single mother). I can’t think of a bigger piece of baggage than a kid, and unless her interest in you is very high, and you are financially independent, the best course is to drop her right away and don’t look back. Other reasons include that she turns out to be a “bible-thumper”, or a psycho, or whatever. Haven’t met any psychos, though… (yet)
The second type is probably the most annoying, and is the bane of millions of guys out there. These are the girls who are what I call “nice girls”; they’re too polite to tell you that they’re not interested, but are content to keep turning you down until you give up. I once kept asking a girl out for a second date over the period of several months, but was never able to get anywhere. I’ll put it in boldface so it penetrates better. If a girl tells you she’s too busy on the day you want to meet with her, she’s blowing you off. Remember this!
Here's a little excerpt from DeepDish's "******** Translated" that puts it into perspective:
"I'm busy"
= I am trying to string along your attention.
"I have to study."
= I don't want you to realize the math behind what I am saying.
[Think about it. Even if a woman were to study eight hours (and no one studies that long) and start a relative late 10:00 am, she'd still be available from 6:00 pm and later. She is essentially telling you to believe that she's studying Friday night, all Saturday, all Sunday, non-stop with no time available between studying, eating, sleeping, and breathing.]
Girls will test you, but not in this manner! Sometimes their interest in you started out high, but it was probably just barely over the hump, and she showed interest in you because no other guys at the time caught her attention. But they don’t want to hurt you, which is why they don’t flat out tell you a variant of LJBF. They may act nervous around you, but it’s because they know you want to date them, and they don’t want to, and they feel rather bad about it.
However, it is also good to err on the side of caution. Of course, you don’t want to find out that she’s really interested in you and couldn’t on that particular day because she had to be out of town. So go ahead and try again, in this case (but NOT for "I'm too busy"). It may help to adopt a “three strikes and you’re out” rule; if she makes excuses three times in a row, it’s 99%+ likely she’s a “nice girl” flake and her interest level is not anything positive.
The third type is the one we want. This is the girl who, when you ask, gladly sets up a time to meet with you and shows up to the date. They may and probably will test you; for instance, when you call, they may “forget” who you are, or they may stand you up, hoping that you’ll be a man and tell them that you won’t tolerate that sort of b.s. But otherwise note that their behavior is totally different from the second type of girl, the nice girl/excuse giver. One girl actually said she was busy but that meeting with me would be a “nice break”. (I lost interest in her, unfortunately, so I haven’t asked her out again; the male version of a "nice girl". Fortunately, we can get away with it because girls don’t ask us out!)
There are probably other more exotic variants, but this little guide should be of use to those guys who are totally clueless regarding women.
BGMan
[This message has been edited by BGMan (edited 12-06-2002).]
[This message has been edited by BGMan (edited 12-06-2002).]
Now, back to the matter at hand. Once you have your numbers, you now must call them. Calling a girl is a lot like getting her number – scary at first, not so much later. But you will run into four types in your travels, which I will attempt to lay down as accurately as I can.
First of all... there's the girl that won't give you her digits. In my case, about one-fifth of the girls I close refuse to give me their phone number; once these have been weeded out, you can concentrate on the remainder. Results may vary; I’m usually very careful about ascertaining whether or not a girl has a boyfriend, and they often will mention him when you talk to them. One rule of thumb is that the more open and easy-to-talk-to girls are those who are least likely to be available, a phenomenon I call “Murphy’s Blarney Law”.
Then, once those are gone, you must call the rest. There are three kinds of girls who do give you their number; their behavior once you call them falls into these groups. First of all, the girl may be interested, but turns out to be unavailable for one reason or another; for instance, she has a kid (a single mother). I can’t think of a bigger piece of baggage than a kid, and unless her interest in you is very high, and you are financially independent, the best course is to drop her right away and don’t look back. Other reasons include that she turns out to be a “bible-thumper”, or a psycho, or whatever. Haven’t met any psychos, though… (yet)
The second type is probably the most annoying, and is the bane of millions of guys out there. These are the girls who are what I call “nice girls”; they’re too polite to tell you that they’re not interested, but are content to keep turning you down until you give up. I once kept asking a girl out for a second date over the period of several months, but was never able to get anywhere. I’ll put it in boldface so it penetrates better. If a girl tells you she’s too busy on the day you want to meet with her, she’s blowing you off. Remember this!
Here's a little excerpt from DeepDish's "******** Translated" that puts it into perspective:
"I'm busy"
= I am trying to string along your attention.
"I have to study."
= I don't want you to realize the math behind what I am saying.
[Think about it. Even if a woman were to study eight hours (and no one studies that long) and start a relative late 10:00 am, she'd still be available from 6:00 pm and later. She is essentially telling you to believe that she's studying Friday night, all Saturday, all Sunday, non-stop with no time available between studying, eating, sleeping, and breathing.]
Girls will test you, but not in this manner! Sometimes their interest in you started out high, but it was probably just barely over the hump, and she showed interest in you because no other guys at the time caught her attention. But they don’t want to hurt you, which is why they don’t flat out tell you a variant of LJBF. They may act nervous around you, but it’s because they know you want to date them, and they don’t want to, and they feel rather bad about it.
However, it is also good to err on the side of caution. Of course, you don’t want to find out that she’s really interested in you and couldn’t on that particular day because she had to be out of town. So go ahead and try again, in this case (but NOT for "I'm too busy"). It may help to adopt a “three strikes and you’re out” rule; if she makes excuses three times in a row, it’s 99%+ likely she’s a “nice girl” flake and her interest level is not anything positive.
The third type is the one we want. This is the girl who, when you ask, gladly sets up a time to meet with you and shows up to the date. They may and probably will test you; for instance, when you call, they may “forget” who you are, or they may stand you up, hoping that you’ll be a man and tell them that you won’t tolerate that sort of b.s. But otherwise note that their behavior is totally different from the second type of girl, the nice girl/excuse giver. One girl actually said she was busy but that meeting with me would be a “nice break”. (I lost interest in her, unfortunately, so I haven’t asked her out again; the male version of a "nice girl". Fortunately, we can get away with it because girls don’t ask us out!)
There are probably other more exotic variants, but this little guide should be of use to those guys who are totally clueless regarding women.
BGMan
[This message has been edited by BGMan (edited 12-06-2002).]
[This message has been edited by BGMan (edited 12-06-2002).]
