squirrels
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2003
- Messages
- 6,628
- Reaction score
- 178
- Age
- 45
I had this girl over last night...we watched a movie on the couch, chatted, cuddled, kissed, made out a little bit...of course, I'm constantly trying to escalate. This one's playing REALLY hard-to-get, though. You know they type...she doesn't want to give it up too soon. She wants to, but she's gotta be the "good girl".
Most women when they throw up that resistance, they start getting all dramatic about it, talking about how, "I'm not that kind of girl" or making the guy out to be some kind of shallow sex-fiend or whining about, "I want something more than that".
This girl does it right...when I get "frisky", she laughs and pushes my hands away.
No long, "why are all men pigs" conversation, no drama, just "Bzzzt...better luck next time".
This is a woman who's comfortable with male nature and understands her role in it. It's the man's job to escalate and the woman's job to resist. Much like the predator/prey model, the predator chases, the prey evades. That's part of the fun...something that humans are smart enough to enjoy.
Most women just can't handle it now...to them sexuality isn't "play", it's just another boring chapter in the boring relationship playbook and if the guy wants it outside of the context of that boring playbook, he "doesn't get it".
Too many women treat the "relationship" as a hard science...the man is SUPPOSED to do this, the woman is SUPPOSED to do this, the man is NOT supposed to do that. Kissing happens on the second date, sex not until the third at earliest, you should do it this often, you should see each other this often, you should go out this often, you should share these occasions, you should not share these occasions....blah blah blah...and if the man wants to fly by the seat of his pants, he's an arsehole and "not ready for a relationship".
Usually the ones who say they're "tired of the BS" really mean they're tired of being the only one immersed in it and want to drag a man down there with them. The ones who are REALLY "tired of the BS" don't create drama for themselves...they understand the idea that "you're a man, I'm a woman, this is a game, let's dance".
I'm not really crazy about this girl in general...I've nearly cut her loose twice now and it's only the second date. But it's refreshing once in a while to meet a woman who "gets it". At least for now...some of them turn into drama-heads later on down the line.
But the nice thing about a girl who understands that predator/prey dance is that I never feel like she needs me to apologize for being a "horndog". We learn more about each other by how we play this game...and I don't have to be anyone besides me. No trying to think of clever ways to impress her...it's just like good pillow-talk without even HAVING to f**k.
That's what women don't get any more...they think it's all about the temporal aspect, about how long you wait to f**k. They think if you refuse to f**k for x number of dates or y number of weeks, it'll help the relationship build stronger. But the reason it worked for their mothers is because their mothers knew how to build sexual tension. Their mothers cultivated other attributes that their fathers could appreciate and learned to actually display those attributes during the mating dance. Their mothers knew how to make the courtship process fun, instead of making it a boring by-the-book hassle leading to the ultimate goal of "breeding".
Bad science is no substitute for good art. If you run across a woman who has some skill in the art of the chase...take the time to appreciate it. DON'T just fall head-over-heels or chump out...because that would be a sign of lack of skill in YOUR role as the masculine element of the dance. Just appreciate the difference between a woman who feels the music and one who's just going through the motions.
You could almost compare it to a guy who understands the difference between being "a challenge" and being "aloof".
Most women when they throw up that resistance, they start getting all dramatic about it, talking about how, "I'm not that kind of girl" or making the guy out to be some kind of shallow sex-fiend or whining about, "I want something more than that".
This girl does it right...when I get "frisky", she laughs and pushes my hands away.
No long, "why are all men pigs" conversation, no drama, just "Bzzzt...better luck next time".
This is a woman who's comfortable with male nature and understands her role in it. It's the man's job to escalate and the woman's job to resist. Much like the predator/prey model, the predator chases, the prey evades. That's part of the fun...something that humans are smart enough to enjoy.
Most women just can't handle it now...to them sexuality isn't "play", it's just another boring chapter in the boring relationship playbook and if the guy wants it outside of the context of that boring playbook, he "doesn't get it".
Too many women treat the "relationship" as a hard science...the man is SUPPOSED to do this, the woman is SUPPOSED to do this, the man is NOT supposed to do that. Kissing happens on the second date, sex not until the third at earliest, you should do it this often, you should see each other this often, you should go out this often, you should share these occasions, you should not share these occasions....blah blah blah...and if the man wants to fly by the seat of his pants, he's an arsehole and "not ready for a relationship".
Usually the ones who say they're "tired of the BS" really mean they're tired of being the only one immersed in it and want to drag a man down there with them. The ones who are REALLY "tired of the BS" don't create drama for themselves...they understand the idea that "you're a man, I'm a woman, this is a game, let's dance".
I'm not really crazy about this girl in general...I've nearly cut her loose twice now and it's only the second date. But it's refreshing once in a while to meet a woman who "gets it". At least for now...some of them turn into drama-heads later on down the line.
But the nice thing about a girl who understands that predator/prey dance is that I never feel like she needs me to apologize for being a "horndog". We learn more about each other by how we play this game...and I don't have to be anyone besides me. No trying to think of clever ways to impress her...it's just like good pillow-talk without even HAVING to f**k.
That's what women don't get any more...they think it's all about the temporal aspect, about how long you wait to f**k. They think if you refuse to f**k for x number of dates or y number of weeks, it'll help the relationship build stronger. But the reason it worked for their mothers is because their mothers knew how to build sexual tension. Their mothers cultivated other attributes that their fathers could appreciate and learned to actually display those attributes during the mating dance. Their mothers knew how to make the courtship process fun, instead of making it a boring by-the-book hassle leading to the ultimate goal of "breeding".
Bad science is no substitute for good art. If you run across a woman who has some skill in the art of the chase...take the time to appreciate it. DON'T just fall head-over-heels or chump out...because that would be a sign of lack of skill in YOUR role as the masculine element of the dance. Just appreciate the difference between a woman who feels the music and one who's just going through the motions.
You could almost compare it to a guy who understands the difference between being "a challenge" and being "aloof".