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Text game

CoandaEffect

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So I went ahead and created an OLD account. A couple of ladies have started texting me. Does anyone have any advise as to resources that can help with text game, videos, books etc.

Or does anyone have any specific advise about text game. What kind of texts have worked for you?
 

Lookatu

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So I went ahead and created an OLD account. A couple of ladies have started texting me. Does anyone have any advise as to resources that can help with text game, videos, books etc.

Or does anyone have any specific advise about text game. What kind of texts have worked for you?
Without sounding like a broken record, you should always use text as an introductory tool only and to build just enough comfort to get them out asap.

I always say in my profile that I'd rather not be forever pen pals and meet sooner than later, to screen for attention wh0res who never plan on going out anyways or meeting up. Don't make the mistake of forever texting to have it fizzle and not lead to an actual meet up.

Also realize texting chemistry can be different than real life chemistry so just because texting is going well, don't assume meeting in real life will. This is the reason why I advocate texting just enough so they can feel comfortable meeting you in real life. Otherwise you are going to be wasting a lot of time.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all approach. I used to think you should keep texting to a bare minimum and only use it for logistics but that's simply not practical. How are you supposed to keep a rotation of women going if you never text them unless you want to hang out? They'll move on quickly to someone else and forget about you. You don't need to have long drawn out convos, just something light and simple. As a general rule I avoid asking them questions except ones that pertain to arranging the date.

As for your main question... I would highly discourage using any text guides because they'll be incongruent with your personality and if they go "off script" you'll have no idea what to say.

I think the best thing to do is experiment and see what works for you. Eventually I think you can create your own basic "script" that you do with every girl so you won't have to think so much about what to say.
 

Guitar_Whizz

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Never mind this bull*****t 'text game'. Be a man and pick up the phone and call her and get together with her in person asap. 'Text game' doesn't exist. The longer you dither about texting girls back and forth, the more they'll lose attraction to you and the less likely it'll be that they meet you in person. 'Text game' is just giving girls free attention and validation, which is exactly what you DON'T want to be doing.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Never mind this bull*****t 'text game'. Be a man and pick up the phone and call her and get together with her in person asap. 'Text game' doesn't exist. The longer you dither about texting girls back and forth, the more they'll lose attraction to you and the less likely it'll be that they meet you in person. 'Text game' is just giving girls free attention and validation, which is exactly what you DON'T want to be doing.
Lol this is nonsense. You can definitely build attraction/interest via text, just don't overdo it by giving her validation or constant back and forth. A few light texts per week is all you need for a plate.
 

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MoMoses

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Lol this is nonsense. You can definitely build attraction/interest via text, just don't overdo it by giving her validation or constant back and forth. A few light texts per week is all you need for a plate.
Trying to raise attraction with texting is pure damage control. You should have raised the attraction when getting her number. If you have to depend on texting to get the job done you already lost the first battle.

This being said, I do get what you're saying. You're spot on when you say 'just don't overdo it' I think you made an excellent point by saying you can raise interest (=curiosity). To me this isn't quite the same as attraction though. It's merely a first step towards feelings of attraction. If I'm making any sense with this..

It all depends on how you got to know her I think

* If you matched with her on Tinder it's pretty obvious that your texting skills should be in great shape. You can raise curiosity and make her want to meet you irl.
* Or you may have gotten her number from a friend or added her on Facebook without her really knowing you. In that case some good texting skills are definitely necessary. (I actually started a thread about this a few days ago.. I wasn't sure on what to do seeing I only knew this girl from Facebook)

You can raise a woman's interest in you by bringing your A-game into texting. That I agree with you, but the real attraction happens face to face with the opportunity to escalate.
 

MoMoses

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Or does anyone have any specific advise about text game. What kind of texts have worked for you?
Keep things light and fun. Don't try and build too much report by telling her too much about yourself. Treat texts as a sort of trailer of what it would be like for her to be on a date with you. Let her get curious so she wants to see the movie that this trailer is all about (= see you in person). If the trailer shows the entire movie and you can already guess how it will end... would you really wanna see that movie? I'm guessing no. It's the same with women. If they already know the ending they lose their interest. So give yourself bit by bit and don't pour the entire
carafe into her throat :)


I made these mistakes in my younger years. I texted and texted and told her all about myself, trying my best to present myself as this cool guy.. it doesn't work. Sure, she'll be amused but you won't raise any real attraction. By doing this you communicate how important you think she is because you are trying to sell yourself and she becomes the buyer. No no no.. you should be the buyer, you should be the price, so flip the script and don't be too afraid of speaking your mind and disagreeing with her if she says something you don't like.

As FlexpertHamilton said above: don't give her too much validation either. Stay clear of the typical beta texts as "God you're so beautiful" etc, but I'm betting you already know this. If you wanna complement her, complement her on her humor if she plays ball and jokes along. You are rewarding this behavior and by doing this she will do it some more. It will turn her into the one who's trying to impress you. In her head she'll start to like you more and more because why else would she be making an effort for you to like her?

Like I said, I'm pretty sure you know most of these things already. It's basic stuff
 
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Barrister

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Keep things light and fun. Don't try and build too much report by telling her too much about yourself. Treat texts as a sort of trailer of what it would be like for her to be on a date with you. Let her get curious so she wants to see the movie that this trailer is all about (= see you in person)

I made these mistakes in my younger years. I texted and texted and told her all about myself, trying my best to present myself as this cool guy.. it doesn't work. Sure, she'll be amused but you won't raise any real attraction. By doing this you communicate how important you think she is because you are trying to sell yourself and she becomes the buyer. No no no.. you should be the buyer, you should be the price, so flip the script and don't be too afraid of speaking your mind and disagreeing with her if she says something you don't like.

As FlexpertHamilton said above: don't give her too much validation either. Stay clear of the typical beta texts as "God you're so beautiful" etc, but I'm betting you already know this. If you wanna complement her, complement her on her humor if she plays ball and jokes along. You are rewarding this behavior and by doing this she will do it some more. It will turn her into the one who's trying to impress you. In her head she'll start to like you more and more because why else would she be making an effort for you to like her?

Like I said, I'm pretty sure you know most of these things already. It's basic stuff
I think having some texting in between times you see your plates can actually work to your advantage. I do agree with keeping it all very light-hearted though and not divulging any major details about yourself. It should essentially just be for flirting/building some tension for the next meetup.

I think this is one of the trickier aspects of dating today is how much to text. I think some of the hard, fast rules like "never double text" are not necessary -- but the overarching reason why they exist is sound: don't ever overdo it. If you are sending walls of text in relation to her sending you a line or two you have a problem.

Also: I agree 100% to always avoid beta texts -- telling her she's beautiful, "what are you doing?", "good morning/night!" etc. Always avoid those.
 

EyeBRollin

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I think having some texting in between times you see your plates can actually work to your advantage.
It does not work to your advantage unless she is initiating. Women have to miss you for their feelings to intensify. The only time you should be initiating contact with a woman is to ask her out for the next date.
 
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Barrister

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It does not work to your advantage unless she is initiating. Women have to miss you for their feelings to intensify. The only time you should be initiating contact with a woman is to ask her out for the next date.
I agree for the most part. But I do think you can initiate with something light-hearted every once in awhile. I like the 3/1 rule on this (even though I just stated rules are overrated ha). For every three times she initiates you can initiate once. I think it lets them know you are invested in keeping them around (even if it is just to be a plate).
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Trying to raise attraction with texting is pure damage control. You should have raised the attraction when getting her number. If you have to depend on texting to get the job done you already lost the first battle.

This being said, I do get what you're saying. You're spot on when you say 'just don't overdo it' I think you made an excellent point by saying you can raise interest (=curiosity). To me this isn't quite the same as attraction though. It's merely a first step towards feelings of attraction. If I'm making any sense with this..

It all depends on how you got to know her I think

* If you matched with her on Tinder it's pretty obvious that your texting skills should be in great shape. You can raise curiosity and make her want to meet you irl.
* Or you may have gotten her number from a friend or added her on Facebook without her really knowing you. In that case some good texting skills are definitely necessary. (I actually started a thread about this a few days ago.. I wasn't sure on what to do seeing I only knew this girl from Facebook)

You can raise a woman's interest in you by bringing your A-game into texting. That I agree with you, but the real attraction happens face to face with the opportunity to escalate.
Attraction wasn't the right word...I'd say intrigue or hamster spinning is better. Also I would say another reason not to overdo your "text game" is because it might not live up to your wit and humor in person.
 

EyeBRollin

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I agree for the most part. But I do think you can initiate with something light-hearted every once in awhile. I like the 3/1 rule on this (even though I just stated rules are overrated ha). For every three times she initiates you can initiate once. I think it lets them know you are invested in keeping them around (even if it is just to be a plate).
No. I don’t know why you guys feel the need to chit chat it up with women. That is feminine behavior.

Here’s a better rule than 3/1: If she hints at wanting to hear from you, indulge her with a phone call once in the time between your next date.

Don’t go rationalize this and start calling her. The point is, YOU have to stay the challenge and mystery. She wants to be the one chasing you. Stop robbing her of that with the effeminate desire to chit chat.
 

Barrister

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No. I don’t know why you guys feel the need to chit chat it up with women. That is feminine behavior.

Here’s a better rule than 3/1: If she hints at wanting to hear from you, indulge her with a phone call once in the time between your next date.

Don’t go rationalize this and start calling her. The point is, YOU have to stay the challenge and mystery. She wants to be the one chasing you. Stop robbing her of that with the effeminate desire to chit chat.
I think if you act that aloof you will lose some that you could otherwise keep if you’re essentially never reaching out even once. I think it’s more about content and keeping it light.
 

Velasco

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I think if you act that aloof you will lose some that you could otherwise keep if you’re essentially never reaching out even once. I think it’s more about content and keeping it light.
no he's rite. except about the phone call thing
 

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FlexpertHamilton

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You care too much about losing her. The ones with high interest... they don’t want to lose you!
You are competing for her attention ultimately. She's just your turn. Even if she's chasing...you can lose place in her spotlight at any moment by a new guy she talks to even if he's lower value. The texting thing isn't about "building rapport" or getting to know them or any of that BS, it's just keeping some sort of presence in her mind. You have to account for their incredibly low attention spans, they will chase whatever is right in front of them and forget the rest in a heartbeat.
 

Barrister

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No. I don’t know why you guys feel the need to chit chat it up with women. That is feminine behavior.

Here’s a better rule than 3/1: If she hints at wanting to hear from you, indulge her with a phone call once in the time between your next date.

Don’t go rationalize this and start calling her. The point is, YOU have to stay the challenge and mystery. She wants to be the one chasing you. Stop robbing her of that with the effeminate desire to chit chat.
Here’s my thing - so I just banged the HB 7.5 I spoke about in the other thread (to which I thank you for your advice!). Since we banged, she has been texting almost nonstop with very high interest. Due to our schedules we couldn’t see each other for 9 days (down to 7 now). If I essentially ignored these texts and told her I would call her once within 9 days until I see her next I think there’s a much higher likelihood I get a flake for the 3rd date than if I’m in constant, light hearted banter with her via text here and there.

Also - I think a phone call can be far more awkward. Not only is it difficult to answer when you call but if they pick up their sole focus then must be on you. If in LTR or a more serious plate I think that’s fine. But very early stages I think that’s asking a lot and potentially more clingy in her eyes.
 

EyeBRollin

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You are competing for her attention ultimately. She's just your turn. Even if she's chasing...you can lose place in her spotlight at any moment by a new guy she talks to even if he's lower value. The texting thing isn't about "building rapport" or getting to know them or any of that BS, it's just keeping some sort of presence in her mind. You have to account for their incredibly low attention spans, they will chase whatever is right in front of them and forget the rest in a heartbeat.
No. That’s backwards. She thinks more about the guy that isn’t blowing up her phone.

I just had a chick call me today because she “hadn’t heard from me in 3 days.” I have only one date in with her. My inaction caused her to act. Make sense?
 

Barrister

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No. That’s backwards. She thinks more about the guy that isn’t blowing up her phone.

I just had a chick call me today because she “hadn’t heard from me in 3 days.” I have only one date in with her. My inaction caused her to act. Make sense?
So if she is texting you every day do you really tell her “hey I will call you sometime before our next date” and then go dark until you make the phone call?
 
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