Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Tell HER to call!

Krassus

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Countless times, i've seen people advise others to never allow the girl to have the ball in her court by asking her to call. I believe that these people were well-meaning, but nevertheless, applying this advice would do a lot more harm than good.

The reasoning behind this course of action is that by asking the girl to make the next move, we hand over our power to her and leave ourselves in a position of uncertainty. No one wants to wait around wondering when the girl will call.

But here's the thing. If you're always the one making moves, you're fighting an uphill battle. You firmly set her up as the catch, and yourself as the one doing the chasing. After all, if YOU were the catch, wouldn't SHE be calling all the time?

And this is exactly the outcome you're after. You have to learn to set things up so that SHE has to do all the chasing because SHE doesn't want to be in a position of uncertainty any more than you do. Keep in mind that girls fear rejection a LOT more than guys!

Here's a scenario from earlier today. I called a girl to set up plans, but she asked me to call her back because her minutes are free only after 6PM. Instead, i told her that she should call me herself and she agreed.

Now, this is what a lot of beginners are afraid of. Leaving things up to her. They don't wanna end up not knowing if she'll call or not, waiting, etc. And this is understandable because no one wants to find out at the last second that their plans for the night fell through.

So this is what you do. Make other plans. Call up all your friends and find out what else they're all doing that night. Tell all of them that you MAY join them, but don't make any promises you can't keep.

All of a sudden, you've got options. You can go to a club with Mike, play pool with John, Steve and Frank, go to a bar with Jerry or... go on a date with Mary, if she calls. See how the focus is no longer ON Mary? You don't really care if she calls anymore, because you've got a bunch of other things to do that night.

What if you meet a girl even hotter than Mary when you go out clubbing with Mike? Ask yourself questions like that. Don't flat-out assume that going out with a chick is the absolutely best way to spend your night.

So what happens next? Mary calls back. Actually, she just did. I was shaving and didn't pick up the phone, so she left me a message asking me to call. Now SHE is sitting there all worried, not knowing if i'll call, not knowing what she's doing tonight.

And if she didn't call? That'd be the last time i ever called Mary. Like AD said, "success with women isn't being surrounded with women, its NOT being surrounded with uninterested women." Truly, its far better to be free than attached in any way to chicks who give you headaches.

So learn the lesson fellas. Give her an opportunity to go out with you, but set things up so that if she doesn't call, she won't get to see you. Make her think that you've got other things to do and that you're leaving the ball in her court because if she doesn't call, you won't really care. And you shouldn't.
 

white cloud 8

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So if I'm the one (for the majority of time) calling to make plans, talk etc. then once in a while I should tell her to give me a call, right?
 

kiz

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seems like very good advice. thanks :)
 

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bud_2005

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I agree with you and I see where you are coming from...BUT I hear girls say all the time that they like it when the guy calls and is in control.
 

The Monkey

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Originally posted by bud_2005
I agree with you and I see where you are coming from...BUT I hear girls say all the time that they like it when the guy calls and is in control.
I think many arguments for both sides could be made... but that would mean that we are OVERANLYZING things, which is the #1 NO NO!

Anyway, telling a girl to call you means you are just as much in control as when you call. You TOLD her to call, you are in control. Right?:)
 

DJ Hawtness

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This is by far some of the worst advice I've read on this site. Sure, guys are much more intrigued by women who are aggressive, but telling her to call you is ridiculous.

You're proving how pathetic you are by asking HER to call you. This means that you are home constantly waiting for her to call you. She is the dominance of what is going on, and you won't get laid this way.

It takes away mystery, and a true DJ wants mystery. Mystery generates a relationship with energy to stay intact.

I applaud you for trying to give advice, but if you're going to give some make sure it is good. :/
 

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Qualtran

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Originally posted by Krassus
we hand over our power to her and leave ourselves in a position of uncertainty. No one wants to wait around wondering when the girl will call.
I absoluteley agree, but if a girl tells you to call her back she is trying to be in control. What Krassus did sounds fine to me:
I called a girl to set up plans, but she asked me to call her back because her minutes are free only after 6PM. Instead, i told her that she should call me herself and she agreed.
Yeah, he put the ball in her court, but in this situation, the way he did it also kept him in control of the situation.

The rest of the advice was very good. Never place all your chips on the table when it comes to a new chick; always have something else to do if she flakes. You should feel like you are setting aside time from your busy schedule to give this girl a chance to see if she is worthy. If she flakes, she is not worthy and you have other things to do.
 

LowPlainsDrifter

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I pulled something like this off...

I think it was the right combination of timing, accidental chemistry, and her high IL.
I was in a video store, and a really pretty gal kept eyeing me.
I worked up the nerve to talk to her about the movies she had (I had seen them, and offered my review).
I said, "Well, my last name is...I'm listed in the phone book. When you finish watching, give me a call and give me your take on that film."
She called me a couple of days later, and I blew it by being a bad conversationalist.
But that's another issue.

In general, it works just fine getting their number/exchanging numbers, and calling.
 

Krassus

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Originally posted by bud_2005
I agree with you and I see where you are coming from...BUT I hear girls say all the time that they like it when the guy calls and is in control.
Girls like guys who are in control, period. You approach her, so you're in control, so she likes you. You take the initiative to set up a date, so you're in control, so she likes you. You start doing all the calling, so you lose control, so she stops liking you. As you can see, there is a delicate balance here. Sometimes you have to step in and TAKE control, sometimes you have to step back and let her BRING IT to you.

Originally posted by DJ Hawtness
You're proving how pathetic you are by asking HER to call you. This means that you are home constantly waiting for her to call you. [/B]
I could write a book on whats wrong with what you just said, but i have work in 8 hours, so i'll leave you with this: only men of the LOWEST and men of the HIGHEST social status tell women to call them. Everything you said about my advice comes from the mind of the former.
 

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wipz

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Originally posted by DJ Hawtness
This is by far some of the worst advice I've read on this site. Sure, guys are much more intrigued by women who are aggressive, but telling her to call you is ridiculous.

You're proving how pathetic you are by asking HER to call you. This means that you are home constantly waiting for her to call you. She is the dominance of what is going on, and you won't get laid this way.

It takes away mystery, and a true DJ wants mystery. Mystery generates a relationship with energy to stay intact.

I applaud you for trying to give advice, but if you're going to give some make sure it is good. :/
Man you really need to finish reading before you go out and criticize. She was trying to be dominant by telling him to call her, well he turned that crap around real fast. Krassus even said that he wouldn't be waiting for her to call because if she doesn't, he has plans B, C, and D right there for him. No big deal. And if she didn't call back, she'll probably be wondering why he didn't call her that night at all (assuming he's not an afc). There, mysterious.

Damn good stuff Krassus.
 

PoS

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Ok .. seems like a good idea to me, but what if she was total RULES girl? She'll probably test u and never calls, and you'll be waiting for her phone call ..
 

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Krassus

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Originally posted by PoS
what if she was total RULES girl?
You thank your good fortune for letting you find out sooner rather than later and RUN LIKE FVCKING HELL :D
 

Maximus_Decimus

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I've come across women who are interested in me before but they are the shy type and are waiting for me to contact them rather than the other way around. When I ask such interested shy women out for the date, they always make time to see me and don't flake.

If a shy women has your number but doesn't call you, it doesn't necessarily mean she has low interest in you. Thus, I would not suggest using this tactic with shy women.

BTW, for those that are confused about challenge and being the prize, courtship in most cases, starts when the man makes the first move. You can be in a club and you motion with your finger to a chick to come over to you. Although she is the first to walk over to you, by motioning with your finger, you have inevitably made the first move. Thereafter, you can apply challenge and during your interactions with her, project that you are the prize.

Maximus_Decimus
 
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Stereo

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I think people might be missing the subtleties of this tactic.

The tactic is:
Do not supplicate to her frame.

When she says, "hmm, I'm busy right now, call me tonight." or "my minutes aren't free, call me back in 20 minutes." or "she says, oh I'm just walking into the gym how bout I call you after."

Notice the last one is the opposite. If you get the vibe that the chick is trying to control the frame (90% of the time) and is not being truly genuine in her intentions (10%)... then reverse the frame!
 

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