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Stop pursuing women with low and borderline medium interest!

Robert28

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If your friend is genuinely unattractive he may need to persist more than the average guy. He has gotten laid by sacrificing his dignity, integrity just for sex.



Men can pursue, up to a limit. The issue is when you are pursuing and the lady isn't reciprocating and you're still pursing to change her mind.






If you went on 4 or 5 dates, it means the woman was interested, at least initially. It's okay to pursue interested women! In those 4 or 5 dates the woman has changed her mind so its something you've done to make her feel different about you. Also as you get older a ladies priorities change, they are looking to settle, get married, have children etc, so you can't employ the same game.




I know what you mean, you need to get better at assessing her true interest. This is part of your self development.
The confusing thing is it’s not a gradual thing of them losing interest. It’s very fast. Like something is just “different” one day out of the blue. I had one girl break it off with me because we were talking about sex and she said something about liking to be tied up. I said I don’t like to be tied up, I like to be in control. She later told me that made me sound like a prude and dumped me.lol It’s not something drastic I’m doing, they’re taking one small thing and nexting me for it. I haven’t found that older women are always looking to get settled down and all that, they sure aren’t pursuing that with me. They just seem to be dating around, doing these 4-5 dates with a guy and move on because they will tell you stories about guys before and the same 4-5 dates happened and something ran them off.
 

LoboSolitario

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The confusing thing is it’s not a gradual thing of them losing interest. It’s very fast. Like something is just “different” one day out of the blue. I had one girl break it off with me because we were talking about sex and she said something about liking to be tied up. I said I don’t like to be tied up, I like to be in control. She later told me that made me sound like a prude and dumped me.lol It’s not something drastic I’m doing, they’re taking one small thing and nexting me for it. I haven’t found that older women are always looking to get settled down and all that, they sure aren’t pursuing that with me. They just seem to be dating around, doing these 4-5 dates with a guy and move on because they will tell you stories about guys before and the same 4-5 dates happened and something ran them off.
Women can be terribly fickle. Like a child with a new toy who is excited at first and then dumps it there bored, wanting something new.

Men's long term thinking should be focused on our goals, health and finance.

Men's short term thinking should be on women (who are basically outside our boundaries)

We only really have the next moment with them. (sure an accumulation of next moments can develop into something....but the mentality needs to be the next moment/meet up)

Too many men will think oh she is great and start visualizing the future. the future is s a form of self suffering as we only have now.

Edit: @jaymbrs Yes man that's what I meant. Edit for clarity.
 
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jaymbrs

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Women can be terribly fickle. Like a child with a new toy who is excited at first and then dumps it there bored, wanting something new.

Long term thinking with our goals, health and finance.

Short term thinking with women (who are basically outside our boundaries)

We only really have the next moment with them. (sure an accumulation of next moments can develop into something....but the mentality needs to be the next moment/meet up)

Too many men will think oh she is great and start visualizing the future. the future is s a form of self suffering as we only have now.
Not sure if I'm reading this correctly. But this should be men's long term goals. Not women.
 

BDDazza

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The confusing thing is it’s not a gradual thing of them losing interest. It’s very fast. Like something is just “different” one day out of the blue. I had one girl break it off with me because we were talking about sex and she said something about liking to be tied up. I said I don’t like to be tied up, I like to be in control. She later told me that made me sound like a prude and dumped me.lol It’s not something drastic I’m doing, they’re taking one small thing and nexting me for it. I haven’t found that older women are always looking to get settled down and all that, they sure aren’t pursuing that with me. They just seem to be dating around, doing these 4-5 dates with a guy and move on because they will tell you stories about guys before and the same 4-5 dates happened and something ran them off.
She lost interest in you already. At best she had borderline medium interest by date 4-5.

Because an interested woman wouldn't dump a guy over a single prudish comment, her plan was to wait for you to say something she can disagree with, and then dump you.

Remember a uninterest women is looking for an excuse to dump you. Whereas an interested women is looking for an excuse to keep you around.

Robert, can I ask you a question. What are you looking for? A long term relationship, a short term relationship, a FWB. Because how you approach each woman and how you vet them is different.
 
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Robert28

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She lost interest in you already. At best she had borderline medium interest by date 4-5.

Because an interested woman wouldn't dump a guy over a single prudish comment, her plan was to wait for you to say something she can disagree with, and then dump you.

Remember a uninterest women is looking for an excuse to dump you. Whereas an interested women is looking for an excuse to keep you around.

Robert, can I ask you a question. What are you looking for? A long term relationship, a short term relationship, a FWB. Because how you approach each woman and how you vet them is different.
Looking back now I see it about her. I should have known mixed signals meant no but she kept insisting we go out on dates so my ego thought I still had a shot. She tried to make me an orbiter not long after that but I didn’t accept. As for what I’m looking for, I don’t go into anything with expectations. When I meet a girl I have no idea what I’ll want from her. My longest relationship ended up as a one night stand but then we hungout the next day and ended up hanging out all weekend and it was on from there. I tend to have a lot of medium-low interest women cross my path. The weird thing is they seem to make an effort (albeit under false pretenses) so it’s hard to tell who’s really into you and who isn’t in the beginning stages. I’ve had girls that were absolutely all about me but they weren’t as aggressive chasing me as low interest girls were.
 

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jaymbrs

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Someone mentioned it somewhere and I agree that most of us aren't Chads so we'll inevitably have to deal with low to medium interested women. You want that to change, work on yourself. Make more money, get ripped, become an expert at something that women like to be involved in like dancing. Yes, this is repetitive advice but it works. I worked hard on my physique in my mid twenties and it got me women I wouldn't have been able to get.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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One thing to bear in mind is that it's almost always more efficient to start over with a new girl than it is to try to make something happen with one who isn't very interested.
 

Robert28

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One thing to bear in mind is that it's almost always more efficient to start over with a new girl than it is to try to make something happen with one who isn't very interested.
This is solid advice! Wish I learned this earlier in life but I have a bad habit of wanting to keep at something that’s a dead end sometimes. Not all the time but sometimes the perfect storm happens and I’ll waste time going after one girl who was low interest instead of starting over with someone new.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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This is solid advice! Wish I learned this earlier in life but I have a bad habit of wanting to keep at something that’s a dead end sometimes. Not all the time but sometimes the perfect storm happens and I’ll waste time going after one girl who was low interest instead of starting over with someone new.
Probably just the sunk cost fallacy, most people do it with something or another.
 

BDDazza

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Looking back now I see it about her. I should have known mixed signals meant no but she kept insisting we go out on dates so my ego thought I still had a shot. She tried to make me an orbiter not long after that but I didn’t accept. As for what I’m looking for, I don’t go into anything with expectations.
I wouldn't beat yourself up about it, she was definitely borderline-interested or she wouldn't went out with you multiple times at her insistence. Somewhere along the line she lost complete interest.

When I meet a girl I have no idea what I’ll want from her.
You need to decide what you want from a woman before you pursue otherwise you'll attract the wrong lady. If you two have conflicting outcomes she will lose interest.

For example, if a she is looking for a long term relationship and you are coming across as 'unsure', she might initially be genuinely attracted to you, but she will lose interest as you are not fitting her requirement. If you're unsure then you need to find a lady who is 'unsure' too, in which case unsure woman are more likely to want something casual or a one night stand, and eventually she will make up her mind about what she wants and will leave you.

If you want a woman to stick around, then you need to shift this 'unsure' mentality to "I want a long term relationship" and you'll attract a women who wants a long term relationship too. Then you need to vet them (before you go on a date) about their plans in the next 1-5 years, the unsure woman will find this conversation boring and disappear but the ladies seeking a relationship will stick around.
 
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MatureDJ

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Women don't pursue anybody, men have to pursue women. Women won't knock on your door just like that, out of nowhere. But there is a good and a bad way to pursue women.
Women pursue Chad. :rolleyes:
 

MatureDJ

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Yeah they do me sometimes but I’ve also noticed a ton of married or women in relationships striking up random convos with me. It’s weird. They think I want to talk to them for the sake of talking lol there was a girl last night that I said hey to passing by in a parking lot and she started commenting on my watch. Then she kept talking and talking and talking. Then she of course dropped the “yeah my boyfriend” bomb so then I tried to break away 3 fvcking times and you know what? She kept talking.
I had a gal do this to me in my college days. coincidentally, my then roommate had just philosophized about how women you talk to will always throw out "my boyfriend", even if they really don't. So I walking around my apartment complex, and a cute but chunky chicks started talking to me, also continuing on & on, and of course mentioned her boyfriend, like I was interested in her, LOL. :rolleyes:
 

MatureDJ

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Meh. I quit pursuing after being Friendzone enough. Women will let you pursue all day and walk you right into the friendzone. No thanks.
I don't mind being in the "Friendzone" if she's doing ALL the pursuing; I consider this as the chick's anti-slut defense, in that they really want you, but don't want to look to pushy. Almost always, a chick that has done that has eventually opened up her legs for me. :cool:
 

MatureDJ

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They’re not looking to settle down though, they just want to date and honestly I’m not sure what their strategy is.
They want to maximize the genetic fitness of the sperm donor, just like any mammal. :rolleyes:
 

MatureDJ

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I don't know about "most" guys, but I'm sure many guys don't get to experience a high interest woman. And I'd say only a small minority get to experience an abundance of high interest women.
I've gotten a few high interest women - banged each and every one of them. Unfortunately, they are VERY few & far between, and tend to have mental issues. :rolleyes:
 

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The_Hand_Of_God

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The problem I’ve had is being tricked by the women who feign high interest. I’ve experienced it before but now it’s to where I can’t tell who’s legit and who’s pretending for awhile.
Have same problem these days. I'm crap at reading women anyway, but this one girl is either ringing me, flirting, and speaking about going out with me for hours too then not speaking for days/busy when i actually say lets ****ing go out then.

Just trying to remember what people say on here that unless they say yes then she is low interest. But **** me it's confusing at times.
 

Clint Eaztwood

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Seducing a woman is a process, in most cases a difficult and long process so choose your battles, you don't go into war fighting the strongest enemy, instead you pick the battle you can win in the most efficient and cost effective way. Here is an analogy, low and borderline medium interest girls is like fighting a well equipped army, whereas high interest women is like fighting a developing nation.

A man can only fight so many battles before they get drained physically, mentally and spiritually; so the best course of action is to stop fighting a difficult battle or a losing battle with a woman. If a woman is deliberately being obstructive to date or she is not committing to a plan from the beginning of the courtship then its already a lost battle and you should begin to walk away to an easier battle. She probably doesn't like you, doesn't like you enough or is entangled with another guy whom she prefers.

Makes me think of the Iceberg Slim quote:

“…the suckers in hell want ice water, but it's late for them. They ain't never going to get no ice water. The way you start with a ***** is the way you end with a *****.”

If your initial interaction with the woman only caused lukewarm interest then you’re starting at a disadvantage. I agree with OP, **** that.

if it’s all you’ve got for now, by all means continue with that, however your aim should be to improve your initial impressions with girls so it’s easier to follow up.

We never want to be starting out weak.
 
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