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Status, stress and sex drive

Fruitbat

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Howdy.

two things happened over the last 5 years, I got very much into my career and I also noted my libido drop. I get that in the years 35+ it’s not like 18, but the drop was quite dramatic and it worried me a bit. I’d go full fortnights without any interest.

So, losing some weight helped a bit, but I really was scratching my head as over say 3 years it had still dropped - a lot.

Then 2 things happened. I passed a very tough work exam and BOOM. The relief and drop in stress sent libido like a rocket.

a second thing happened. I have a bitter work rival, a very devious individual who has been working to get me out the business any way he can.

last week 2 things happened. He was essentially doctoring emails from senior people to score points over me (long story but I went to these people, for the full story, and then kind of exposed it - in a non aggressive way so I didn’t come off a jerk) and after this, the guy who’s been at my neck at work for a decade, then made a beef with a senior manager - for no reason really, I guess he was still sore from the thing before.
So in 2 days the dude who turned a lot of people against me in the business, got exposed and committed career suicide. Advantage me. Massively.

My libido is of epic proportions now, several romps a day with the Mrs and still plenty to spare.

I have concluded that there is a lot more to libido than low body fat or physical things. It’s in the mind and self esteem is very key.

So to any approaching middle age guys who are slowing up in this department, make goals, win battles. Succeed. It did more for me than any blue pill.

just had to share this as such a dramatic turnaround.
I think stress is the biggest killer of all.
 

SirBigBell

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The mind is the ultimate centre of everything. Charisma, creativity, strength, libido, charm etc are all rooted in the mind. If you can keep your mind healthy and clear, you will operate at maximum efficiency in all sectors of life.

Stress affects men sexually more than it affects women. Women even under stress can still have sex because they simply have to avail the slit. Men under stress cant even rise to the occasion.

As a man, it is our duty to make sure that our minds are healthy and we are in full control of them.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Howdy.

two things happened over the last 5 years, I got very much into my career and I also noted my libido drop. I get that in the years 35+ it’s not like 18, but the drop was quite dramatic and it worried me a bit. I’d go full fortnights without any interest.

So, losing some weight helped a bit, but I really was scratching my head as over say 3 years it had still dropped - a lot.

Then 2 things happened. I passed a very tough work exam and BOOM. The relief and drop in stress sent libido like a rocket.

a second thing happened. I have a bitter work rival, a very devious individual who has been working to get me out the business any way he can.

last week 2 things happened. He was essentially doctoring emails from senior people to score points over me (long story but I went to these people, for the full story, and then kind of exposed it - in a non aggressive way so I didn’t come off a jerk) and after this, the guy who’s been at my neck at work for a decade, then made a beef with a senior manager - for no reason really, I guess he was still sore from the thing before.
So in 2 days the dude who turned a lot of people against me in the business, got exposed and committed career suicide. Advantage me. Massively.

My libido is of epic proportions now, several romps a day with the Mrs and still plenty to spare.

I have concluded that there is a lot more to libido than low body fat or physical things. It’s in the mind and self esteem is very key.

So to any approaching middle age guys who are slowing up in this department, make goals, win battles. Succeed. It did more for me than any blue pill.

just had to share this as such a dramatic turnaround.
I think stress is the biggest killer of all.
When were so focused and diligent it seems harder for the libido. Back when we didn't care and were relaxed the libido did what it was supposed to. We were less focused in those days and more non chalant
 

FlexpertHamilton

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This is interesting. I'm only 29 but in the past couple of years I've felt a big drop in libido which is very bad because it was already much lower than other guys my age.

I am fairly health and have a very low-stress lifestyle, so it's quite strange. Ruling out hormone/endorcrine issues, it may simply be a mental issue that stems from the sort of things you describe. Status and other environmental conditions can effect your mind a lot more than you'd think.
 

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Lookatu

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Biologically, stress spikes cortisol levels which in turn reduces testosterone levels. Low T = low libido.

There is more padding in this area for younger guys because their testosterone levels are naturally higher.

But the older you get, it is critical to learn to manage your cortisol, testosterone, estrogen levels so they aren't out of balance and causing you issues. (getting fatter, low libido, low energy, etc). Because statistically, guys testosterone levels start going down from age 30 and you could be as low as 1/2 your testosterone levels by the time you reach 50.
 

Lookatu

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This is interesting. I'm only 29 but in the past couple of years I've felt a big drop in libido which is very bad because it was already much lower than other guys my age.

I am fairly health and have a very low-stress lifestyle, so it's quite strange. Ruling out hormone/endorcrine issues, it may simply be a mental issue that stems from the sort of things you describe. Status and other environmental conditions can effect your mind a lot more than you'd think.
I would recommend a Testosterone test and see where you're at. I took one 4 years ago and another one last week. I'm waiting on my results.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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I would recommend a Testosterone test and see where you're at. I took one 4 years ago and another one last week. I'm waiting on my results.
What's the point? If it's high it wouldn't explain anything, if it's low there's not much to be done about it unless your Dr is willing to get you on TRT (which they won't unless it's extremely low and you're over 40).

I have tested it a few times and the numbers varied wildly each time. They always insisted it was "normal" despite the reference range being absurdly wide and not accounting for age. They don't give a **** about men's T levels and they don't really know what the **** they're talking about.
 

Lookatu

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What's the point? If it's high it wouldn't explain anything, if it's low there's not much to be done about it unless your Dr is willing to get you on TRT (which they won't unless it's extremely low and you're over 40).
The point is it will guide you in the right direction of where you have to improve. If you're T levels are low, you can change your diet and workout to bring it back up. You're only 29.

If your T levels come back on the high side, you know you have to work on the mental/psychological side (Reduce stress, improve inner self, meditation, don't hang around toxic people, reduce or cutout porn/masturbation, etc).
 

FlexpertHamilton

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The point is it will guide you in the right direction of where you have to improve. If you're T levels are low, you can change your diet and workout to bring it back up. You're only 29.

If your T levels come back on the high side, you know you have to work on the mental/psychological side (Reduce stress, improve inner self, meditation, don't hang around toxic people, reduce or cutout porn/masturbation, etc).

I already do all the sort of things that should raise T levels by default and have been for years (especially diet, stress, sleep, and avoiding porn/fapping), with the possible exception of status-seeking behavior, so that's why it seems pointless.

At its highest point, about 4 years ago, I wasn't lifting too much, worked at a job I hated, and was broke. That said I do remember having lots of sex with different women so maybe that inflated it. There's just too much to account for really. Plus you have to look at more than just total T, you have to factor in free T, bioavailable T, albumin, etc and that just adds to the complication.
 

Lookatu

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I already do all the sort of things that should raise T levels by default and have been for years (especially diet, stress, sleep, and avoiding porn/fapping), with the possible exception of status-seeking behavior, so that's why it seems pointless.

At its highest point, about 4 years ago, I wasn't lifting too much, worked at a job I hated, and was broke. That said I do remember having lots of sex with different women so maybe that inflated it. There's just too much to account for really. Plus you have to look at more than just total T, you have to factor in free T, bioavailable T, albumin, etc and that just adds to the complication.
Well it looks like you're not willing to look into things and have given up. I don't know what else you can do with your mindset. Maybe go join a monestary?
 

mrgoodstuff

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Biologically, stress spikes cortisol levels which in turn reduces testosterone levels. Low T = low libido.

There is more padding in this area for younger guys because their testosterone levels are naturally higher.

But the older you get, it is critical to learn to manage your cortisol, testosterone, estrogen levels so they aren't out of balance and causing you issues. (getting fatter, low libido, low energy, etc). Because statistically, guys testosterone levels start going down from age 30 and you could be as low as 1/2 your testosterone levels by the time you reach 50.
I had a theory that younger folks were more relaxed and not as "in control" of their lives. So the libido drives and controls them. As we get older we get more self control, more diligence and life has alot more on our minds. So an older person is not relaxed and his thoughts, he's focused on what needs to get done and his "in the moment" mindset is focused on that purpose. So naturally the older has more focus but MORE STRESS in order to do so, and he's focused on objectives, not allowing his "feelings" to drive him.

The younger guy has a huge libido, anything can trip him off, boobs, camel toes, even camel toes on a fat chick. He can see her in an intense sexual light and pound her out even though it's not his preference.

So my theory was that part of it is physical changes reducing test and libido and adding stress, but it's the older mans MINDSET which has a huge bearing on the normal testosterone, stress, and cortisol levels. That perhaps one can learn to release his powerful mindset required for purpose and have a more freer flowing, libido driven mindset when the purpose requires it.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Well it looks like you're not willing to look into things and have given up. I don't know what else you can do with your mindset. Maybe go join a monestary?
I haven't given up, I think the best course of action is to do your own research on pubmed and develop a TRT regimen from buying stuff online. I'm actually pretty close to going down that rabbit hole.

My only point was that most Drs are pretty much worthless for solving this problem.
 

Lookatu

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I haven't given up, I think the best course of action is to do your own research on pubmed and buy your own TRT regimen from online sources. I'm actually pretty close to going down that rabbit hole.
You do what you gotta do but I'd highly recommend against TRT until you've at least gotten a testosterone test and tried everything else under the moon. Because it is something your body will rely on once you get on it. You're only 29. If anything, I should be on TRT but fighting against it.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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I had a theory that younger folks were more relaxed and not as "in control" of their lives. So the libido drives and controls them. As we get older we get more self control, more diligence and life has alot more on our minds. So an older person is not relaxed and his thoughts, he's focused on what needs to get done and his "in the moment" mindset is focused on that purpose. So naturally the older has more focus but MORE STRESS in order to do so, and he's focused on objectives, not allowing his "feelings" to drive him.

The younger guy has a huge libido, anything can trip him off, boobs, camel toes, even camel toes on a fat chick. He can see her in an intense sexual light and pound her out even though it's not his preference.

So my theory was that part of it is physical changes reducing test and libido and adding stress, but it's the older mans MINDSET which has a huge bearing on the normal testosterone, stress, and cortisol levels. That perhaps one can learn to release his powerful mindset required for purpose and have a more freer flowing, libido driven mindset when the purpose requires it.
This makes sense. I also find it related to creative energy in general; you have to be kind of loose, energetic, and imaginative to have a strong libido.
 

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FlexpertHamilton

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You do what you gotta do but I'd highly recommend against TRT until you've at least gotten a testosterone test and tried everything else under the moon. Because it is something your body will rely on once you get on it. You're only 29. If anything, I should be on TRT but fighting against it.

But that is precisely where I am at. I checked my T levels several times, at different places, for years, and it didn't really tell me anything . I have researched it to death and have done everything that people recommended and felt no different.

Your body will likely lower its natural production of T if you get on TRT...so just don't stop taking it. If you can't take it anymore it'll plummet enough for doctors to FINALLY take it seriously.
 
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mrgoodstuff

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This makes sense. I also find it related to creative energy in general; you have to be kind of loose, energetic, and imaginative to have a strong libido.
Agree! Creativity is free thought! So as a more focused individual if you can add a creative craft such as playing an instrument, singing, dancing, drawing, creating art it will allow your creative juices to FLOW!!! This will raise that feeling of "juice" in your body, and that libido and desire goes up! A creative mindset is an expansive mindset that wants to grow like a sponge in water!
 

Lookatu

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But that is precisely where I am at. I checked my T levels several times, at different places, for years, and it didn't really tell me anything . I have researched it to death and have done everything that people recommended and felt no different.
Hmm. I don't know what else to say then. It sounds like you tried everything and your libido is still low at 29yo. Best of luck in getting it sorted out.
 

FlexpertHamilton

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Didn't mean to hijack this thread...

Hmm. I don't know what else to say then. It sounds like you tried everything and your libido is still low at 29yo. Best of luck in getting it sorted out.
Thanks. Everything else equal, I think libido and T levels in general are largely determined by lifestyle/environment and your general mental state. Something you indeed will have to work out for yourself and not always so easily fixed.
 

christie

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Agree! Creativity is free thought! So as a more focused individual if you can add a creative craft such as playing an instrument, singing, dancing, drawing, creating art it will allow your creative juices to FLOW!!! This will raise that feeling of "juice" in your body, and that libido and desire goes up! A creative mindset is an expansive mindset that wants to grow like a sponge in water!
good job, I agree. This is the way to support your theory.
 
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