Stagnation at SoSuave: When Frame is Weakness

[samspade]

I'm bumping this thread because it's great. Been reading a lot of @fastlife lately and having some real paradigm shifts.

 

[sazc]

@fastlife GREAT POST.

This is dead on what I see going on here.

Members spewing rhetoric to justify the position they find themselves in, instead of accepting responsibility for the position they PUT themselves in

 

[sazc]

Wow, this post is from 2016. This shiz has been going on a loooooong time

 

[GrowingPains]

Wow, this post is from 2016. This shiz has been going on a loooooong time

Bump.

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[Lynx nkaf]

I have been with several nurses throughout my dating life and they were all VERY freaky in the sheets....It must have something to do with being very familiar or comfortable around naked bodies and pain.

my construction brothers all say this too

 

[logicallefty]

my construction brothers all say this too

Not only this but nurses are also caring people by nature and make good partners outside the bedroom. Plus they are smart and make good moola.

 

[Lynx nkaf]

Not only this but nurses are also caring people by nature and make good partners outside the bedroom. Plus they are smart and make good moola.

you're right on the moola. Same as construction.
Good, good obedient women from the breakroom phone calls everybody has to overhear. Obedient and gentle.
They can settle in large cities or small towns easily.
Shiftwork is the only downer.

 

[Lookatu]

my construction brothers all say this too

I'm glad you resurrected this as it was new for me. I don't think the OP post can be bumped up enough.

As for nurses, yes, the top two that I've ever had sex with were both nurses. AMAZING...

 

[macallik]

Well said. This forum has turned into borderline misogyny and so this post is worth a read to newcomers

 

[fastlife]

Cool seeing this pop up 6 years later and glad guys are still benefitting from it. Just wanted to say that for the record, still stand by this post 100%. There’s been plenty of ups and downs between then and now, but this shift in philosophy marked a major turning point for me, really in every facet of my life and in ways I couldn’t have imagined, and hoping the guys out there can take it and run with it!

 

[nicksaiz65]

Cool seeing this pop up 6 years later and glad guys are still benefitting from it. Just wanted to say that for the record, still stand by this post 100%. There’s been plenty of ups and downs between then and now, but this shift in philosophy marked a major turning point for me, really in every facet of my life and in ways I couldn’t have imagined, and hoping the guys out there can take it and run with it!

I always enjoy your posts and thoughts bro! They’ve helped me out a ton!

 

[fastlife]

I always enjoy your posts and thoughts bro! They’ve helped me out a ton!

Keep pushing it bro!! Forgot you're only 24--that's how old I was when I first started getting into any of this stuff--so you definitely have a head start and it's only up from here.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Keep pushing it bro!! Forgot you're only 24--that's how old I was when I first started getting into any of this stuff--so you definitely have a head start and it's only up from here.

Thanks man! The info you've provided is invaluable. I'll continue to take action and keep you guys updated.

 

[bat soup]

You know what you like: You don't cold approach because you don't like it. You don't go to night clubs because you don't like them. You don't text girls because you don't like it. You next first and ask questions later; better safe than sorry, and it's damned convenient if you can write off a woman as 'low interest' before risking rejection. You don't talk to girls at all because there just aren't quality women where you live. Or you only date girls you aren't even attracted to because then you'll have the upper hand and hot girls--well, they aren't really all that great anyway.

You call this frame.

You rationalize your stagnation:

• I'm the prize.
• My time's too valuable.
• All women are wh0res and backstabbers, etc.
• Alphas do this and betas do that (always self-identifying with the Alpha).

But you're still not happy. You found SoSuave and constructed a little comfort zone, where all your new ego-investments will be constantly reinforced by a chorus of assenting voices. You don't lose anymore, like you used to before you got hurt. You can't go back to feeling hurt--so feeling nothing is the next best thing--and the battle you were wounded in, well it wasn't really worth fighting for anyway. And--and--and you're getting laid, right? At least a little more than you were before; you must be doing things right this time--even if you've been doing the same thing for years with the same results with the same women.

But really your 'frame' is a prison. It isn't strength. It doesn't allow you to try new things. It doesn't allow you to experience the full range of emotions (Wait, I forgot, emotions can only be weakness). Really you're just afraid and practicing pain-avoidance. Even though pain is what inspired you to get to this point, in the first place, you've gotten far enough.

You're still afraid that that 20 y/o hottie won't think you're alpha if you allow yourself to experience her fully or, god forbid, play around a little bit. You're only alpha if people think you are, and if you next people before they get close enough to make that judgement, you never have to face it. And if you growl loud enough, none of the members here will call you on it. And it's gotten you results that are good enough (even though they're not all that great, it's better than pushing yourself out of your comfort zone).

Which brings us to the single most misinterpreted mantra of SoSuave culture: Be the prize.

The natural extension for finishing this thought is Be the prize (for women). Search the forums for Be the prize and this is the context you'll find. But it's wrong. You should be the prize for yourself. The prize is watching yourself develop; it's putting yourself in situations that you aren't comfortable with and feeling the rush of pushing through those discomforts; it's having fun and enjoying the person you are, even if it costs you the girl, instead of being a feelingless drone who gets a little pvssy here and there (so you must be doing it right). You're never wasting your time with anything you do, involving women or anything else, if you're learning from it and pushing yourself to be a fuller person than you were before.

It's true a lot of strategies are based on trying to avoid discomfort/pain - essentially running away from fear.

In reality, you often have to face your fears and the pain in life in order to progress.

Embrace the pain and you will win this game.