Update:Bumping this. My ex from eight years ago is sniffing around. She wants to bang again. She is hotter than my current LTR but way less of a good woman in terms of character. Problem is I moved since dating the ex. Not trying to fly out to her city as I have no built-in excuse to take a weekend there.
How do I set up the bang? As said in the OP do not judge.
I took @BeExcellent comments on disclosure and did just that.
I told the ex I can’t visit her because I am currently in a relationship but not engaged or married. Told her I want her to come my way because there is still chemistry.
She claims to be “surprised if I were single anyway bc I am a great catch.” Asked her thoughts about coming through. Her response “I appreciate the honesty but I have to think about it.” I left the conversation with a simple “I would love to see you but I understand.” Ball now squarely in her court.
I actually felt good about this. It is a win-win.
-if she never reaches out, I dont have to sneak around. It’s done.
-if she reaches out, whatever happens is of her own volition