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EyeBRollin

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Bumping this. My ex from eight years ago is sniffing around. She wants to bang again. She is hotter than my current LTR but way less of a good woman in terms of character. Problem is I moved since dating the ex. Not trying to fly out to her city as I have no built-in excuse to take a weekend there.

How do I set up the bang? As said in the OP do not judge.
Update:
I took @BeExcellent comments on disclosure and did just that.

I told the ex I can’t visit her because I am currently in a relationship but not engaged or married. Told her I want her to come my way because there is still chemistry.

She claims to be “surprised if I were single anyway bc I am a great catch.” Asked her thoughts about coming through. Her response “I appreciate the honesty but I have to think about it.” I left the conversation with a simple “I would love to see you but I understand.” Ball now squarely in her court.

I actually felt good about this. It is a win-win.

-if she never reaches out, I dont have to sneak around. It’s done.

-if she reaches out, whatever happens is of her own volition
 

joesknows

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10 hour drive, 1.5 hour flight. Logistically she would have to come here.

Current LTR does not live with me but is begging for marriage. My biggest concern is the pattern interrupt. I can’t suddenly disappear for a weekend. Maybe I could set something up during the week.. . (Ex gf works from “home”)?
10 hours???? 20 hours roundtrip.

1.5 hrs: more likely triple that getting to and from the airport, check in, and likely delays. 6-10 hours roundtrip.

I'm perfectly fine with 2 to 4 hours of driving roundtrip, but the numbers you're dealing with are just....
 

Fruitbat

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Honest answer? Pay. No strings. No risk.

I don’t, happy enough with what I have, but if I wanted to and felt I had to, I would go that way. It’s worth the money for not having to look over ones shoulder.

personally though I’d just advise you to be single. You will feel guilty afterwards. If she ever finds out it’s game over, even if you stay together she will kind of be allowed one of her own.

plus it isn’t right to lie to people. It’s deceitful, but it happens.
 

EyeBRollin

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personally though I’d just advise you to be single. You will feel guilty afterwards. If she ever finds out it’s game over, even if you stay together she will kind of be allowed one of her own.

plus it isn’t right to lie to people. It’s deceitful, but it happens.
Personally I have never felt guilty about sex with another woman while in relationship and don’t think any man should.

This points to a broader issue. The rules between sexes are not symmetrical. A man fvcking another woman is not the same as a woman fvcking another man. The equivalent would actually be spending large amounts of money on a side bvtch- buying her shvt and putting her up in an apartment, etc. A lot of high income cheaters commit that error as well, which is the true sin.
 

Pan87

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4 digit pass code? Shod have spent that last year having her pick your lottery numbers.
4 digit passcode is 9999 possible combinations. Unless you're a computer, you aren't breaking that quickly.

You're married anyway, so how's your sideb1tch game going? Wouldn't your wife be upset if she saw you writing on this forum?
 

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Fruitbat

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Personally I have never felt guilty about sex with another woman while in relationship and don’t think any man should.

This points to a broader issue. The rules between sexes are not symmetrical. A man fvcking another woman is not the same as a woman fvcking another man. The equivalent would actually be spending large amounts of money on a side bvtch- buying her shvt and putting her up in an apartment, etc. A lot of high income cheaters commit that error as well, which is the true sin.
it’s not the same because once a dude has blown his load, he’s usually over it and it’s done. Broadly, a woman cheating is branch swinging. However, tons of dudes branch swing and tons of women still want a guy on the side. Humans are varied and there are only broad generalisations and trends, not rules.

I’m not being a d1ck mate but you either haven’t loved any girl you’ve cheated on, or you’re just so red pill you don’t fall in love and see life very transactionally. I had one chance in my current marriage, I went out with the boys on a stag do and got loaded and had some nasal refreshment, shall we say (last time I did actually about 3 years ago). The opportunity came up and I passed. When I got home, I remember my wife puking from morning sickness for about an hour and then she went and cooked me breakfast and I remembered thinking how happy I was that I did the right thing.
 

Juanto

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Personally I have never felt guilty about sex with another woman while in relationship and don’t think any man should.

This points to a broader issue. The rules between sexes are not symmetrical. A man fvcking another woman is not the same as a woman fvcking another man. The equivalent would actually be spending large amounts of money on a side bvtch- buying her shvt and putting her up in an apartment, etc. A lot of high income cheaters commit that error as well, which is the true sin.
Which begs the question, why not have an open relantionship? Would save everyone so much drama
 

stringpuller

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The opportunity came up and I passed. When I got home, I remember my wife puking from morning sickness for about an hour and then she went and cooked me breakfast and I remembered thinking how happy I was that I did the right thing.
Women think like this fruitbat. They are brutal with there sexual agency. They absolutely can make herself feel fine for some reason after banging.
Broadly, a woman cheating is branch swinging.
Not entirely true. They only Branch swing when their guy stops leading, being a simp and then gets butthurt about her getting a text from Matt from accounting. Then and there is were the branching starts.
A women can and will fck a sexually dominate alpha if plausible deniability is there.
 

stringpuller

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All you guys should watch this interview. Its full of nuggets. Especially LTR and married dudes. This is what happens over time when you dont have other sexual options or competition and you start having to make appointments for sex with your wife.
Oh and for you money guys. Dude is fcking loaded.

 

Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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Call me a pos, I’m in a ltr and I have a secret girl on the back burner. They will never know about each other because I make sure that they aren’t unpredictable and I do my best to cleanup after im done with them. You literally have to try and get caught at this point. The biggest pain in the ass is a girl that is unpredictable and you can’t feel comfortable about where she’s at or if she sill randomly show up at your house.

I probably wouldn’t cheat if my gf was my dream girl in standards lol
 

stringpuller

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Call me a pos, I’m in a ltr and I have a secret girl on the back burner. They will never know about each other because I make sure that they aren’t unpredictable and I do my best to cleanup after im done with them. You literally have to try and get caught at this point. The biggest pain in the ass is a girl that is unpredictable and you can’t feel comfortable about where she’s at or if she sill randomly show up at your house.

I probably wouldn’t cheat if my gf was my dream girl in standards lol
A rule of thumb men should go by is this.
If you find a pattern of "can we have sex tonight" and her no longer initiating or I have a headache.
You need a new girl because you are months if not years behind her hypergamous filter. Meaning she is already filtering you.

If you get starved of sex from a chic and you get caught. Tell her the fcking truth.

"If you didnt stop fcking me I guess we would be in a different situation ya stupid kunt" yes it felt great too"

Even that is TOO close to negotiating with her. Its true.
Actions are the verbs women hear the loudest.
 

Juanto

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Has to be negotiated past her entire lifetime of social conditioning. That’s like scaling a mountain…
Changing the terms mid relationship is extremely hard for sure. Im talking about right from the start
 

EyeBRollin

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Changing the terms mid relationship is extremely hard for sure. Im talking about right from the start
I don’t trust any woman is truly alright with open relationships. I don’t believe it is a question of when to being it up; rather that most women to an extent will accept sharing a high value guy if the power/SMV difference between them is significant enough (they have no choice).

The erroneous assumption is that women gain power in long term relationships. I’d argue that the opposite is true from an SMV standpoint the older they are. (A 45 year old man with baggage is higher SMV than a 45 year old woman with baggage).

Re: the interview @stringpuller it was cringeworthy for the most part. However, when Robert K finds his nuts he is in a far better place than his ex wife will be.
 

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catsmeow

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Update:
I took @BeExcellent comments on disclosure and did just that.

I told the ex I can’t visit her because I am currently in a relationship but not engaged or married. Told her I want her to come my way because there is still chemistry.

She claims to be “surprised if I were single anyway bc I am a great catch.” Asked her thoughts about coming through. Her response “I appreciate the honesty but I have to think about it.” I left the conversation with a simple “I would love to see you but I understand.” Ball now squarely in her court.

I actually felt good about this. It is a win-win.

-if she never reaches out, I dont have to sneak around. It’s done.

-if she reaches out, whatever happens is of her own volition
Another female chiming in.

@EyeBRollin, that's awesome, good for you mate.

Open and honest disclosure is the only way to go, posted it about it yesterday on a different thread (guy whose gf was talking to another guy for 2 years), interesting thread.

My guess is this chick WILL reach out, why? Because your honesty allows her to develop TRUST, such that she will always trust that you will be honest and forthcoming, NO secrets, no hiding.

That is huge for many women, at least it is for me and other women I know.

In fact I am actually beginning to embrace the notion of non-monagamy. Given what's been expressed by most here, it's not natural for many men. And some women.

So for me, rather a man be open and truthful like you were EyeBRollin than sneak around, lying, cheating.

I may not like it, but it was honest and again allows me to trust you - trust that you won't lie and cheat, which is deception, and toxic to any relationship.

Wondering if any of you are familiar with something called "compersion"?

Its a relatively new concept and word, which means:

"A feeling of joy when a loved one invests in and takes pleasure from another romantic or sexual relationship."

This is now becoming a "thing" for some couples. Similar to poly I suppose. It's jealousy's opposite.

I think relationships are in a state of change. Evolving. The way most are now, it's just not working.

Far too much cheating, lying and deception happening.

Time for a change.
 
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Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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A rule of thumb men should go by is this.
If you find a pattern of "can we have sex tonight" and her no longer initiating or I have a headache.
You need a new girl because you are months if not years behind her hypergamous filter. Meaning she is already filtering you.

If you get starved of sex from a chic and you get caught. Tell her the fcking truth.

"If you didnt stop fcking me I guess we would be in a different situation ya stupid kunt" yes it felt great too"

Even that is TOO close to negotiating with her. Its true.
Actions are the verbs women hear the loudest.
it is extremely negative to try and turn every post to “your girl is cheating on you” or HYPERGAMY
 

stringpuller

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it is extremely negative to try and turn every post to “your girl is cheating on you” or HYPERGAMY
Your opinion bro. Look around you at the reality of whats going on.
I dont think its negative at all. Women are being women and the market is what it is.
If you enjoy being put in a womens frame and being controlled by "A" vagina. Keep on chuggin then brotha.

What is truthfully negative is you not having the balls to tell your LTR you like and are having side puzz. That my friend is scarcity and a neediness you wont cure.

Im working so I have to edit.
Jake so lets get this strait. You are saying you wouldnt cheat or not be honest if your girl had the standards you desire? Correct?
While telling me that its overly negative to post about women being deceptive.

Come now Jake you can't have it both ways. What are you afraid of? Losing both?
Why not have standards for yourself like being direct? Honest.
Maybe if you did your LTR would adopt those standards?
But hey its your world bro.

My LTR knows I like women and I dont hide that fact. If she doesn't like it she can leave and go restrict someone else's life through the puzzy control while she gets plowed at work by a co worker.
I told you AFCs before own your dik, your desire and your sexuality. Do not apologize for it. Own it and be confident with it.
 
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Jake_Gyllenhaal69

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Your opinion bro. Look around you at the reality of whats going on.
I dont think its negative at all. Women are being women and the market is what it is.
If you enjoy being put in a womens frame and being controlled by "A" vagina. Keep on chuggin then brotha.

What is truthfully negative is you not having the balls to tell your LTR you like and are having side puzz. That my friend is scarcity and a neediness you wont cure.

Im working so I have to edit.
Jake so lets get this strait. You are saying you wouldnt cheat or not be honest if your girl had the standards you desire? Correct?
While telling me that its overly negative to post about women being deceptive.

Come now Jake you can't have it both ways. What are you afraid of? Losing both?
Why not have standards for yourself like being direct? Honest.
Maybe if you did your LTR would adopt those standards?
But hey its your world bro.

My LTR knows I like women and I dont hide that fact. If she doesn't like it she can leave and go restrict someone else's life through the puzzy control while she gets plowed at work by a co worker.
I told you AFCs before own your dik, your desire and your sexuality. Do not apologize for it. Own it and be confident with it.
nah I’m good mane
 

Juanto

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I don’t trust any woman is truly alright with open relationships
Why does this matter? She is either in, or she is out. If she initially is in and for some reason later she decides that isnt for her, so what? Replace her with another one, or keep seeing the other ones you are already seeing.
 
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