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Shooting yourself in the foot - approach/interaction Journal

anour

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Dj’s

i just came out of a bar, met this stunning beauty. I approached her and we begin small talk. Once we begin small talk, she comes closer, she then points her feet outwards like she wants to exit, it kept happening back & forth for a little while. We still vibing and i see a tattoo on her written with my language, i ask her if she knows my language, she replies just a few words. She then says she has to go back to her friends, she says they’re on an exchange too (they’re on a university exchange, i am a uni student) i was like let’s go and meet your friends.

We go and i start talking to her friends, she leaves to get something to eat. I am connecting with her friends, i keep it playful. She then comes back after a while and tells me to get up from the chair as it is her chair, i reply no go get a new chair. “For some reason i got irritated like wtf why would you say that, i would say this is an overreaction from me but nevertheless felt disrespectful. Mindset change perhaps?” After that i got up and here is where i fumbled -> i started playing with my phone for a bit and everybody just became silent. One of the girls was really engaged with me and i told her what’s your instagram literally infront of the girl who i approached like 5 mins ago she writes it down and doesn’t follow me (discovered that later,but from here downhill) i started saying that i have to go after that, and said bye to everybody, and then said bye to the girl i approached she started eying me up and down. I then left.

This by far has been the most irrational & illogical move i have ever done with women. Clearly the woman i approached was interested because she let the conversation go on + let me speak to her friends. I however ****ed myself up after that chair thing.

My question DJ’s is how do you handle such fumbles? How do you prevent them from happening?
 

zekko

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Honestly, your "Go get a new chair" sounds like some of the old PUA advice I've read, like where they switch places with the girl so as to make themselves the center of the group. But I would say don't be a ****, and you won't have to recover from it.
 

anour

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Honestly, your "Go get a new chair" sounds like some of the old PUA advice I've read, like where they switch places with the girl so as to make themselves the center of the group. But I would say don't be a ****, and you won't have to recover from it.
I don’t understand what you mean? Don’t be an as8hole is what you meant? Like should i have gotten my own chair?
 

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AmsterdamAssassin

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Don't ping me. If I want to participate in the chorus, I'll find the thread myself.
We go and i start talking to her friends, she leaves to get something to eat. I am connecting with her friends, i keep it playful.
That's where you went wrong.
She leaves and you stay and talk to her friends?
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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I don’t understand what you mean? Don’t be an as8hole is what you meant? Like should i have gotten my own chair?
There are so many ways to recover from this without being dismissive. Even "You can sit in my lap" would be better than telling her to get a new chair.
 

anour

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There are so many ways to recover from this without being dismissive. Even "You can sit in my lap" would be better than telling her to get a new chair.
Bro i fumbled because i was smoking weed, i just really got shocked and replied without even thinking.
 

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AmsterdamAssassin

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Bro i fumbled because i was smoking weed, i just really got shocked and replied without even thinking.
I'm on medical cannabis. Don't blame the weed.
If you get socially stunted from drugs or alcohol, don't partake before you go out to approach women or don't approach women when you're under the influence.
And never, ever reply without thinking. Even if you have to drop an 'awkward pause' always choose your words with care.

What am i supposed to do, go and Follow her?
D'uh.
"I could use a bite to eat, show me where the food is."
"I'll come along to make sure you pick the junk food."
"I was hoping you'd cook for me, but you can buy me dinner."
 

zekko

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I don’t understand what you mean? Don’t be an as8hole is what you meant? Like should i have gotten my own chair?
Stupid censor. I meant don't be a d!ck.
Like I said, old school PUAs would have loved you stealing her chair, but obviously you regret that move. So yeah, I would have gotten my own chair. I would rather lose the girl than be a jack@ss though. A lot of guys here would likely disagree with that, but it didn't work out for you. Of course, it might not have worked out the other way either. Anyway, the chair's unimportant (except that maybe it p!ssed her off). I think your real mistake is you didn't even try to get her number.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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I think your real mistake is you didn't even try to get her number.
After letting her leave for food, that number wouldn't have done him any good.
 
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