She started to talk to me after I gave up.

nelysses

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I met a new girl. She had absolutely no interest in me. Actually, even though I wanted it very much, I tried it for a while and then gave it up. She already had a boyfriend during this period. We didn't talk for a long time. she showed me to a ring his boyfriend bought for her etc.
I wished her a happy birthday with texting. she thanked me, but when I wanted to continue the conversation, she left my message as seen.
Therefore, even though I liked it very much, I decided to definitely forget about the girl.
When I talked to a mutual friend, she said that I should forget about the girl. and I said okay.

Normally she would never talk to me unless I did. But 2 days after I gave up, I said good morning etc. in the morning. She started to say. SHe still has a boyfriend. She probably wants to be polite, but what should I do in this situation? Even if I say I forgot, when she acts like this, everything goes back to square one.
 

HaleyBaron

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I met a new girl. She had absolutely no interest in me.
There's your answer. Move on to the next woman.

You're 20, so take this advice to heart: go after a lot of girls. Do not get oneitis. I don't know your current situation but I suspect you are still a poor young person with no resources, sh*tty car, and may still live with their parents. I don't know your physical aspects either. You're likely talking to young women around your age, too. Your competition is all the hot and rich guys you see on Instagram.
 

nelysses

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There's your answer. Move on to the next woman.

You're 20, so take this advice to heart: go after a lot of girls. Do not get oneitis. I don't know your current situation but I suspect you are still a poor young person with no resources, sh*tty car, and may still live with their parents. I don't know your physical aspects either. You're likely talking to young women around your age, too. Your competition is all the hot and rich guys you see on Instagram.
I had a nice physique, but due to injuries I gained about 40 kilos. I'm still on a diet. I am 185 tall. I was 90kg but now I'm 110...
I'm in a small city and I'm doing the best I can with girls. Of course, without disrupting the lessons.

I don't know if you've ever been to a small city, but there aren't many options :D Therefore, you are more likely to fall in love with someone and get attached. Because when it doesn't, you don't have many options.
On holiday or in a club etc. It's not a big deal to get rejected or not after talking to a girl. But I've seen a lot of people enter here with the mindset of "I want it".

I will let the girl go, but the better she behaves, the harder it gets.

The thing I don't understand the most is: How should I establish the balance between working hard and quitting because I want it?
They say that if power wants something, it goes and gets it. I want to go and get it because I want it so much, but this time I'm feeling very needy.
 

ThisIsSparta

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I had a nice physique, but due to injuries I gained about 40 kilos. I'm still on a diet. I am 185 tall. I was 90kg but now I'm 110...
I'm in a small city and I'm doing the best I can with girls. Of course, without disrupting the lessons.

I don't know if you've ever been to a small city, but there aren't many options :D Therefore, you are more likely to fall in love with someone and get attached. Because when it doesn't, you don't have many options.
On holiday or in a club etc. It's not a big deal to get rejected or not after talking to a girl. But I've seen a lot of people enter here with the mindset of "I want it".

I will let the girl go, but the better she behaves, the harder it gets.

The thing I don't understand the most is: How should I establish the balance between working hard and quitting because I want it?
They say that if power wants something, it goes and gets it. I want to go and get it because I want it so much, but this time I'm feeling very needy.
Where do you live?

In general "trying hard" doesnt get you the girl. In fact it might not bring you the result you want even IF you could convince her to like you, as it positions HER in a place of power in the relationship from the start.

Further, you cant make people fall in love with you, however hard you try.
I know this works in Hollywood and Disney but not in real life.

Its also less a question of "giving up" but rather to recognize that a woman is not interested in you at that point and move on.

The wise man chooses amongst the women that choose him.

Use your energy to become more attractive to women in general and you will see results down the road. I know its hard as a young guy, most of us have been there.

"Work hard" on becoming the best version of yourself instead of getting that one woman that isnt really into you. Dont waste your time.
 

RangerMIke

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Happens more than you might think.

Basic human nature... we fear loss more than we value potential gain. There is also a factor of curiosity.... we always wonder what happened when situations change beyond expectations.

If a man stops reaching out, when he had been pursuing she will wonder 'What happened?' It doesn't mean she is really interested in the man, she is only wondering what happened. So I never read too much into that. When it happens, try to make a date if you are still interested, if she won't agree to a time/place/activity to meet up... well you have your answer.... she was only curios... just move on.
 

Dr.Suave

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Normally she would never talk to me unless I did. But 2 days after I gave up, I said good morning etc. in the morning.
She´s breadcrumbing you because even though she is not interested in you, she gets off on using you for the free attention and validation. Block her and improve yourself until you can pull a younger and hotter girl than her.
 

nelysses

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You really need to stop posting here and start working out and talking to more girls in person.

You made some progress when you did that for what? A week?

Now you're back to this sh**...
Really man?
When there is a problem, you get advice from people who have experienced the same problem before you.
You don't need to rediscover America.
Something happened with the girl that I didn't plan on and I came here to ask about it. I don't have much time anyway, I'm busy preparing for my exams.
After the exam, I will have 2 months of free time and I will spend all of it improving myself.

I understand the issue you are talking about very well and I'm trying for sure. But as you read this article, you know like 0.00001% of my life.
When I told you I lived in a small city, you couldn't understand the situation and told me to go out. You probably thought I was a loser who stayed at home all the time. But did you know that 2 years ago, my name came out as bland (I don't know the word. I'm using translator.) because I went out and approached the girls?
Do you know what it means to study in a building off campus even though you go to university?
Do you know what it means to not have a single place where you can go at night?
Have you ever lived in a place with only 5 streets?

I really appreciate your help and all I want you to know is that I tried. But what should I do when there is nowhere to meet someone? What kind of environment will I create?
We go out with my friends, drink coffee and come back again. There is nothing else to do...
 

nelysses

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She´s breadcrumbing you because even though she is not interested in you, she gets off on using you for the free attention and validation. Block her and improve yourself until you can pull a younger and hotter girl than her.
Anyone younger would be a pedophile, but yes, I never mind :D
We were already in different schools next year. Probably she just wanted to be kind. I attach too much meaning to some things.
Where do you live?

In general "trying hard" doesnt get you the girl. In fact it might not bring you the result you want even IF you could convince her to like you, as it positions HER in a place of power in the relationship from the start.

Further, you cant make people fall in love with you, however hard you try.
I know this works in Hollywood and Disney but not in real life.

Its also less a question of "giving up" but rather to recognize that a woman is not interested in you at that point and move on.

The wise man chooses amongst the women that choose him.

Use your energy to become more attractive to women in general and you will see results down the road. I know its hard as a young guy, most of us have been there.

"Work hard" on becoming the best version of yourself instead of getting that one woman that isnt really into you. Dont waste your time.
Yes. Like in films I thought I can get her if I want too much.
Also "as a man, if you want something, go and get it"
I was so obsessed with the idea and wanted it, but it's time to give up.
 

BPH

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Really man?
When there is a problem, you get advice from people who have experienced the same problem before you.
You don't need to rediscover America.
Something happened with the girl that I didn't plan on and I came here to ask about it. I don't have much time anyway, I'm busy preparing for my exams.
After the exam, I will have 2 months of free time and I will spend all of it improving myself.

I understand the issue you are talking about very well and I'm trying for sure. But as you read this article, you know like 0.00001% of my life.
When I told you I lived in a small city, you couldn't understand the situation and told me to go out. You probably thought I was a loser who stayed at home all the time. But did you know that 2 years ago, my name came out as bland (I don't know the word. I'm using translator.) because I went out and approached the girls?
Do you know what it means to study in a building off campus even though you go to university?
Do you know what it means to not have a single place where you can go at night?
Have you ever lived in a place with only 5 streets?

I really appreciate your help and all I want you to know is that I tried. But what should I do when there is nowhere to meet someone? What kind of environment will I create?
We go out with my friends, drink coffee and come back again. There is nothing else to do...
Every time you complain on this forum it's because of some sort of relationship online; over the phone, via text, messaging on Instagram, etc.

Your entire dating world revolves around your phone. Go out into the real world and figure it out. You post the same problems every time and it's because you fixate on a single girl, which is only a problem because you are not talking to enough girls.
 

AmsterdamAssassin

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Yes. Like in films I thought I can get her if I want too much.
Just FYI, films are not real life. It's fiction, scripted. :cool:
 

nelysses

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Every time you complain on this forum it's because of some sort of relationship online; over the phone, via text, messaging on Instagram, etc.

Your entire dating world revolves around your phone. Go out into the real world and figure it out. You post the same problems every time and it's because you fixate on a single girl, which is only a problem because you are not talking to enough girls.
Actually, it's not just one girl. So far I've talked about 4-5 different girls here. Since my English is not very good, I can use certain sentences and I think they are understood the same. I noticed it too. Maybe because I didn't use their names.

You are right about the Instagram part. Even though it has to do with my introversion to some extent, at some point it's all on me.
As I mentioned, since it is not a place to meet people, I noticed that other people use Instagram a lot to meet each other. I set 2 dates from here before. but you are right about this. I think I should be more social. However, as I said, the whole city consists of cafes. Think of 5 streets side by side and 2 cafes on each. This is just where I live.

I also realized that you are right about adequate girls. I thought that girl was very special. Then I met 3 more of them. Then I realized that even if we don't have a relationship, we need to leave them as beautiful memories and move on.
When I look back today, I laugh at the days when I was sad thinking about that girl.

My only problem right now is not being able to meet new people, but when I look around me, everyone suffers from the same problem. Most people go to another city when they have holidays (they go to their own homes from university)
But I'm not going because I already live here.
 

tksniper

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Most women will run away from you when you chase after them but as soon as you look away, they start to check you out.

What does this mean? It means men were never meant to chase after girls/romance. You are supposed to be about your business/goals/dreams.

There was even a study about the most attractive poses by men and it involved men looking away and in deep thought. The pictures where men looked directly into the camera with eagerness were the least attractive. Think about that. Looking at women with eagerness is what 99% of simps do.

This website should changed its name to sosimp because actual guys who get girls don’t spend that much time thinking about them. They are too busy trying to pursue their dreams.
 

Divorced w 3

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Anyone younger would be a pedophile, but yes, I never mind :D
We were already in different schools next year. Probably she just wanted to be kind. I attach too much meaning to some things.

Yes. Like in films I thought I can get her if I want too much.
Also "as a man, if you want something, go and get it"
I was so obsessed with the idea and wanted it, but it's time to give up.
The trick is to be nice to her after you fvck her not before.
 

BPH

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Actually, it's not just one girl. So far I've talked about 4-5 different girls here. Since my English is not very good, I can use certain sentences and I think they are understood the same. I noticed it too. Maybe because I didn't use their names.

You are right about the Instagram part. Even though it has to do with my introversion to some extent, at some point it's all on me.
As I mentioned, since it is not a place to meet people, I noticed that other people use Instagram a lot to meet each other. I set 2 dates from here before. but you are right about this. I think I should be more social. However, as I said, the whole city consists of cafes. Think of 5 streets side by side and 2 cafes on each. This is just where I live.

I also realized that you are right about adequate girls. I thought that girl was very special. Then I met 3 more of them. Then I realized that even if we don't have a relationship, we need to leave them as beautiful memories and move on.
When I look back today, I laugh at the days when I was sad thinking about that girl.

My only problem right now is not being able to meet new people, but when I look around me, everyone suffers from the same problem. Most people go to another city when they have holidays (they go to their own homes from university)
But I'm not going because I already live here.
I really think you just need to go out and get rejected until you stop caring.

I think 90% of your problems stem from overthinking and putting girls on pedestals, and you need to have more in-person interactions rather than Instagram.
 

nelysses

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I really think you just need to go out and get rejected until you stop caring.

I think 90% of your problems stem from overthinking and putting girls on pedestals, and you need to have more in-person interactions rather than Instagram.
I think I rejected enough. And a small detail. I have OCD as reported by psychiatry.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Yes, she likes attention. Trust me, she isn't any more interested in you now than she was then. She just will do enough to get attention from you and when you try to push it any farther she will make up excuses or disappear.
 

AureliusMaximus

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I met a new girl. She had absolutely no interest in me. Actually, even though I wanted it very much, I tried it for a while and then gave it up. She already had a boyfriend during this period. We didn't talk for a long time. she showed me to a ring his boyfriend bought for her etc.
I wished her a happy birthday with texting. she thanked me, but when I wanted to continue the conversation, she left my message as seen.
Therefore, even though I liked it very much, I decided to definitely forget about the girl.
When I talked to a mutual friend, she said that I should forget about the girl. and I said okay.

Normally she would never talk to me unless I did. But 2 days after I gave up, I said good morning etc. in the morning. She started to say. SHe still has a boyfriend. She probably wants to be polite, but what should I do in this situation? Even if I say I forgot, when she acts like this, everything goes back to square one.
Don't be simp; so stop simping for her with "good morning" and other bs messages. There are billions of girls in this world, move on.
 
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