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She says I'm moving too fast

Canadianpimpology

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Well here's the deal. Me and my ex went to the movies a few days ago with a bunch of friends. We kind of planned out before that we were going to make out since we never got the chance to when we were going out (we rarely saw each other). So anyways, in the first hour or so of the movie she didn't want to do anything. I thought it was because she didn't think I was attractive but finally she let it go and we started making out and then I was rubbing her tits and my other hand was close to her **** (clothes on btw). I know she's done all this before sine she was kind of a ho a while back. I think she's changed now though.

Everything would be a-ok but she's in love-and I mean truly in love with this other guy that I know. He's already told her no but she's liked him for 9 years and her crush isn't going away that soon. She said that she likes me but she is in love with him. We were planning to hook up later though. I told her not to rush anything esp. since I'm still getting over my ex (well I pretty much am over her), and said that we might hook up in January sometime. She says that she doesn't want feeling to get hurt so she wants to be over him before we go out. Fair enough.

Anyways, she said that I was moving too fast at the movies. I guess if I look back at it now I kind of was, but that was only really because I thought she was like that and we planned we were going to do that stuff. She said later that if I just want her for the physical stuff, she can't do it. Matter of fact is, I don't want her just for the physical stuff. I don't know what to do, and she seems really pissed off now. Should I wait? Let her call? Help would be appreciated.
 

Luscious

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Alright.
I've been waiting for a chance to try this out...here goes..

Let's look at the facts:
- You like her
- She USED to like you, but now digs some other dude.
- Thankfully, you don't like this other dude in that way (or else we'd be wondering...)
- You got a little play at the movies
- She threw down an anti-slut defense and subsequently said, basically, you moved too fast

Now, analyse:
- You're into her. Simple enough. However...
- She no longer wants you, man. She's into someone else. And if she's been diggin him 9 years, your odds are bad. She will need to get shut down by this guy SEVERAL times before she comes to her senses...she's like a female AFC of sorts.
- You don't like the other dude in THAT way. Much props on your straight-ness.
- Bonus points on the movie action. However, this seems like it was just an 'experiment' to see what could have been had you two remained an item. By the looks of her comments, the conclusions of this experiment ain't too good for you.

...argh. Too much writing.
Anyhow, you won't like this, but best bet #1 is to cool the jets on her. She's messed. You just gave her a golden opportunity to spend more time with you and she foolishly passed it over. That is her mistake, not yours. She's the one who will live with that in 2 years/ 2 months/ any time multiple of 2 when she realizes that she ****ed up huge and could have had you. This isn't your fault, cause you played it as it lied on the green and took what the course gave you at the theatre. She just realized that she went pretty damn far and may have become frightened of slipping back into ho-mania.

Argh. Writing...too...much...

Bottom line: Cut her off. It's been said time and time again, I know. But dude...it WORKS. I've roped two broads from LJBF into lust-zone using it. Chicks are naive and will not know what they have until it's gone.
:rolleyes:

Later.
 

Canadianpimpology

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Originally posted by Luscious
Alright.
I've been waiting for a chance to try this out...here goes..

Let's look at the facts:
- You like her
- She USED to like you, but now digs some other dude.
- Thankfully, you don't like this other dude in that way (or else we'd be wondering...)
- You got a little play at the movies
- She threw down an anti-slut defense and subsequently said, basically, you moved too fast

Now, analyse:
- You're into her. Simple enough. However...
- She no longer wants you, man. She's into someone else. And if she's been diggin him 9 years, your odds are bad. She will need to get shut down by this guy SEVERAL times before she comes to her senses...she's like a female AFC of sorts.
- You don't like the other dude in THAT way. Much props on your straight-ness.
- Bonus points on the movie action. However, this seems like it was just an 'experiment' to see what could have been had you two remained an item. By the looks of her comments, the conclusions of this experiment ain't too good for you.

...argh. Too much writing.
Anyhow, you won't like this, but best bet #1 is to cool the jets on her. She's messed. You just gave her a golden opportunity to spend more time with you and she foolishly passed it over. That is her mistake, not yours. She's the one who will live with that in 2 years/ 2 months/ any time multiple of 2 when she realizes that she ****ed up huge and could have had you. This isn't your fault, cause you played it as it lied on the green and took what the course gave you at the theatre. She just realized that she went pretty damn far and may have become frightened of slipping back into ho-mania.

Argh. Writing...too...much...

Bottom line: Cut her off. It's been said time and time again, I know. But dude...it WORKS. I've roped two broads from LJBF into lust-zone using it. Chicks are naive and will not know what they have until it's gone.
:rolleyes:

Later.

Thank you!!! That was a great post man, excellent. Ok, a few corrections. She likes me, and wants to go back out. She says she wants to hook up, but she wants to get over this other guy first fully. This other guy has rejected her at least 3 times I know of, and she knows she'll never have him. But think about it, if you've liked someone for nine years, you aren't going to get over them that quickly.

About the slipping back into ho-mania thing, you are exactly right. That's who she isn't trying to be. I shouldn't have done all that with her, but I was misled when she said she wanted to make out with me at the movies. I'll try cutting her off. Gracias.:)
 

jmm854

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The best way to measure how important you are to her is to back off for awhile. If she comes to you, she wants you, and if not, you didn't waste your time on a girl it was never gonna happen with. Make it clear to her that you're not gonna be available forever, put some pressure on her.
 

Canadianpimpology

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Thanks you guys. Yeah, I'm going to get in touch and go out somewhere with her during the break. Any ideas where to go? My house is boring. I was thinking the mall. She wanted to go ice skating, but it's not my thing.

Anyways, I am pretty ticked off with her. I am because I have our AIM convo from the day before the movies and she said that it would be cool if we made out at the movies. And then she says after that I'm moving too fast. When I talked to her about that, she said she felt like it then and it would be cool, but she didn't want to when we got there. Well I guess that excuse would be valid if she TOLD me that she didn't want to and then I would have layed off, but she went with it. Yes, it's true that I was the aggressor and I made all the moves (that's how I operate), but she should have stopped me. Her excuse for not stopping me: well it's kind of hard to stop someone you have feelings for. That isn't acceptable in my book and not a valid reason to get mad at me for and put me through this.

When I asked her if there is still a possible future she said that she doesn't know yet. She wants to hang out, but not do anything. She said that she's a little cautious and scared from the movies. Damn it, I'm not gonna f*ckin rape her, what does she think!!! This hella isn't cool. Any other comments/advice would be appreciated.
 

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Luscious

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Thanks for the props.

Man, you gotta get one thing straight: don't show her you got any interest in her. By asking her about your future with her, you gave her a damn good christmas gift: the ball's in her court. Now SHE decides if you two go anywhere. And when chicks decide, bad things happen, as we all know (some of us all too well).;)

On a little side note here: Try not to plan any makeout sessions or stuff like that. For some reason, it's just damn awkward if you plan it out before and the time comes. It's like "Rrrrright....so here's where I grab your..." and it seems almost like 'going through the motions'. Chicks love spontaneous behaviour, man, so don't mention 'makeout', just mention a movie and drop some suggestions, but never a concrete offer, of a makeout session. It works wonders.

Later.
 

ChevyLover

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Yeah, I'm going to get in touch and go out somewhere with her during the break. Any ideas where to go? My house is boring. I was thinking the mall. She wanted to go ice skating, but it's not my thing.
WTF??????? GET OVER HER! cut her off dude, or you will regret it. She is taking you for granted big time. She said "that she doesn't know yet" when you asked her if there was a future.
1. don't ask her if there is a future - gives her control
2. she doesn't know???...your reply should be, well I don't want you in my life at all then. I deserve better than to be led on and mistreated.

This girl is not being fair in the relationship. Tell her to go get that other guy that she has a huge crush on, and that you are going to find someone better because you don't have time to waste on bullshiat like this. Tell her that you are done with her because she doesn't have the intelligence to realize what has been right infront of her the whole time.

Thats all I gotta say. Take my advise, or don't but I think that if you don't, your gonna lose this game.
 

Canadianpimpology

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Well, yeah I pretty much got all out pissed at her. She's pretty much apologizing to the max right now. I told her that I was pissed cause she said it was cool and all and she went along with it and I told her it ain't even fvckin cool to get pissed at me like that after she goes along with it. I basically made her realize that I'm boss. I'm honestly reconsidering whether I really want her or not. I DO have other options, but the other two girls I'm thinking of, one lives far away from me (and I can't drive yet), and the other one has a bf right now so she's really my only immediate option now.
 

Mack Of All Trades

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doesnt look good for you, man.
 

BackInTheGame78

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Exactly she was using him for free attention.



Should get out of that scarcity mindset
Yup...this type of scarcity mindset will do more to screw you over than anything else. When a woman knows she is your only option your attractiveness drops by several points.
 

bat soup

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Well here's the deal. Me and my ex went to the movies a few days ago with a bunch of friends. We kind of planned out before that we were going to make out since we never got the chance to when we were going out (we rarely saw each other). So anyways, in the first hour or so of the movie she didn't want to do anything. I thought it was because she didn't think I was attractive but finally she let it go and we started making out and then I was rubbing her tits and my other hand was close to her **** (clothes on btw). I know she's done all this before sine she was kind of a ho a while back. I think she's changed now though.

Everything would be a-ok but she's in love-and I mean truly in love with this other guy that I know. He's already told her no but she's liked him for 9 years and her crush isn't going away that soon. She said that she likes me but she is in love with him. We were planning to hook up later though. I told her not to rush anything esp. since I'm still getting over my ex (well I pretty much am over her), and said that we might hook up in January sometime. She says that she doesn't want feeling to get hurt so she wants to be over him before we go out. Fair enough.

Anyways, she said that I was moving too fast at the movies. I guess if I look back at it now I kind of was, but that was only really because I thought she was like that and we planned we were going to do that stuff. She said later that if I just want her for the physical stuff, she can't do it. Matter of fact is, I don't want her just for the physical stuff. I don't know what to do, and she seems really pissed off now. Should I wait? Let her call? Help would be appreciated.
It seems that she doesn't like you enough to cooperate fully.

She also sounds a bit stupid.
 

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christie

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Atom Smasher

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Guys that was me, my other user name on here. I’m still waiting to see what she decides. I made out with her again in 2011 and although she was a little angry about that, she says she’ll get back to me shortly. She still thinks I’m moving too fast. Should I go NC?
 
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