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Saw A Woman Cold Approach A Guy Today

BeExcellent

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I would consider this an approach. Had you only sat in that location and nothing said from you, it is still an approach. It's not balanced, you moved in, and initiated, good job.

You continue to describe him as "cute". cute and admiration are not close together. I would expect a male player to describe the latest plate as cute.
He is cute. He is sexy. He is hot. He is handsome AF. He is slightly sly, very silly and he’s sweet. All the above. But I know him now.

When I first saw him I thought “He’s cute” but I didn’t think much else about it. But I needed a refill on my drink and the spot next to him was (purposely by his account) clear of people, so that was the logical place to get a drink order to the bartender. I asked him how his night was going more out of my normal social modus operandi and when he engaged the conversation I realized he liked me.

I was there with a group of friends including someone else I had been seeing recently but who was completely sideways that night (behavior I was already weary of dealing with)…and that dude was on such thin ice that I had told him earlier the same evening I wasn’t going to deal with it anymore…so of course he doubled down…and went to go flirt outrageously with other women. I thought “Cool. I’ll chat with this guy. He’s interesting…”
 

2Rocky

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He is cute. He is sexy. He is hot. He is handsome AF. He is slightly sly, very silly and he’s sweet. All the above. But I know him now.

When I first saw him I thought “He’s cute” but I didn’t think much else about it. But I needed a refill on my drink and the spot next to him was (purposely by his account) clear of people, so that was the logical place to get a drink order to the bartender. I asked him how his night was going more out of my normal social modus operandi and when he engaged the conversation I realized he liked me.

I was there with a group of friends including someone else I had been seeing recently but who was completely sideways that night (behavior I was already weary of dealing with)…and that dude was on such thin ice that I had told him earlier the same evening I wasn’t going to deal with it anymore…so of course he doubled down…and went to go flirt outrageously with other women. I thought “Cool. I’ll chat with this guy. He’s interesting…”
As a guy, I like to be opened by women indirectly. Mainly because I get turned on by confident women. The whole meek, coy, shy girl act frustrates me to no end. In feeling that way I have to demonstrate that I am a sociable person by initiating conversations with other people, in order to give the approachable vibe, and stimulate the competitive spirit in those women to act on their attraction.

So many of these guys are tilting at windmills when it comes to their poor luck with women.
 

joesknows

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Being cold approached on the street by a woman is extremely unlikely in North America, even if you are a very good looking guy. That’s why the dude probably thought that he was being set up to get robbed or scammed. And he was probably right.
Especially in the way described in the scenario. Even if he wasn't being setup, it was a high enough of a probability for him to decline immediately.

Women approaching men isn't a rare scenario, but the vast majority of these approaches IME take place on weekends, particularly evenings, in closed party venues, where music and alcohol are flowing.

Even so, most men are rarely if ever approached.
 
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PRW63

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I was there with a group of friends including someone else I had been seeing recently but who was completely sideways that night (behavior I was already weary of dealing with)…and that dude was on such thin ice that I had told him earlier the same evening I wasn’t going to deal with it anymore…so of course he doubled down…and went to go flirt outrageously with other women. I thought “Cool. I’ll chat with this guy. He’s interesting…”
That is why I always tell guys to never ask if she has a BF. It is weak, timid. You never know if the so-called BF has one foot out the door already and you just might the excuse she is looking for. But if you ask,...she has to say, "Yea, he's right over there",.....awkward,.... and you are now out of the game. What happens between her and a guy she was seeing five minutes ago is between them,...none of your business. Your job is to give her an opportunity and up to her to decide if she wants to take it.
 
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BeExcellent

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That is why I always tell guys to never ask if she has a BF. It is weak, timid. You never know if the so-called BF has one foot out the door already and you just might the excuse she is looking for. But if you ask,...she has to say, "Yea, he's right over there",.....awkward,.... and you are now out of the game. What happens between her and a guy she was seeing five minutes ago is between them,...none of your business. You job is to give her an opportunity and up to her to decide if she wants to take it.
He did tell me he thought I must be married. He was delighted to discover I was not. :)
 

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DonJuanjr

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There is a difference between her walking up and introducing herself and letting him know she exists...--vs-- asking the guy out and "being the man" in the situation.
What you originally wrote a retort to, was zimbabwe asking about if a female approached. So that's why I posed the question. Now you're talking about if a female does the asking out. Personally, I wouldn't mind if a female does either. If she tries to take on a masculine role throughout our interaction, I'll just kick her to the curb.
 

jimwho

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It's been my experience that women showing (glaringly obvious) interest, or asking you out
Has not come close to "being the man" I sense women see something shiny and new and they want to pick it up like anyone else. Myself, I give women openings to show interest before I lay on the charm. It's what works for me. Plus now that I'm older, I can't be the
creepy guy if they show interest.


As for the OP story it sounds a bit suspect or spooky in a street smarts kind of way. Like the
Guys girlfriend put her up to it for a test??? Who knows.
 

metalwater

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He is cute. He is sexy. He is hot. He is handsome AF. He is slightly sly, very silly and he’s sweet. All the above. But I know him now.

When I first saw him I thought “He’s cute” but I didn’t think much else about it. But I needed a refill on my drink and the spot next to him was (purposely by his account) clear of people, so that was the logical place to get a drink order to the bartender. I asked him how his night was going more out of my normal social modus operandi and when he engaged the conversation I realized he liked me.

I was there with a group of friends including someone else I had been seeing recently but who was completely sideways that night (behavior I was already weary of dealing with)…and that dude was on such thin ice that I had told him earlier the same evening I wasn’t going to deal with it anymore…so of course he doubled down…and went to go flirt outrageously with other women. I thought “Cool. I’ll chat with this guy. He’s interesting…”
cool, all those words are like cute. so you picked a new guy before exiting the thin ice dude, I think this is the normal way.
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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I will wait until I see her a couple times before I approach regardless of her interest level, if she trys to talk to me ill blow her off, she will receive me regardless or she will not, I'm in no rush for the attention of any woman and they know it
 

Hamurabimbi

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“I’m not interested.” Is pretty rough. I’ve used “Thanks, but my girlfriend probably wouldn’t appreciate that.” I have been cold approached several times. I’m short. I got the ‘you’re gay’ once. But the circumstances were quite different.
 

2Rocky

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“I’m not interested.” Is pretty rough. I’ve used “Thanks, but my girlfriend probably wouldn’t appreciate that.” I have been cold approached several times. I’m short. I got the ‘you’re gay’ once. But the circumstances were quite different.
Mine was " I'm headed home to a woman I love very much. But thanks for saying something." It takes all the rejection off them. and reinforces that "All the good ones are taken".

The nice thing about "a woman I love very much" is that it could cover a wide variety of situations. If you don't find the woman attractive, you could mean your mom and be sincere about it without lying. And what woman could fault you for being a loving partner?

Always leave women better than you found them guys.
 

characternote

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My wingman gets approached a LOT! At night time it's like maybe 5 times per night, and I think it's happened to him in the day too, but very rare, and typically with older women who don't stand a shot lol

The most common openers i've seen girls use on him is pretending to recognise him.

He typically is always polite and chats even when he isn't interested. A lot of the time he's kind of dodging kisses like Tyson Fury if it's in a club or something with a slightly drunk girl who is trying hard to 'seduce' him and it's pretty funny
 
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Hamurabimbi

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Mine was " I'm headed home to a woman I love very much. But thanks for saying something." It takes all the rejection off them. and reinforces that "All the good ones are taken".

The nice thing about "a woman I love very much" is that it could cover a wide variety of situations. If you don't find the woman attractive, you could mean your mom and be sincere about it without lying. And what woman could fault you for being a loving partner?

Always leave women better than you found them guys.
i’ve honestly had an SO each time I’ve used the line.
 

mrskinnypantz

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My brother is 6'6 and gets cold approached often. The height factor is real. Guys reading this can deny this fact as much as much as they want but height gives you a massive advantage.

I even ran a social experiment once and wore lifted shows to make me 6'6. I went out clubbing that night and the difference was very noticeable in the way women would look at me and treat me. My 6'6 brother was with me and even said wow that girl looked you up and down and just ignored me. Then he said too bad you need those lifted shoes. Hahaha I said well im 6'2 really so im happy with that. Sure enough i pulled that night as well frlm a girl who approached me. The shoes were uncomfortable asf because i had to stuff them with stuff as well to increase height. I should do that experiment more often lol.
The height factor is very real, anything over 6’ is the winning zone .
You can still slay if you’re shorter tho, but it’s not gonna be as easy
 

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Zimbabwe

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And the lifts? Stuffing your shoes with whatever to make you appear taller?

Do woman actually respond positively to that? Apparently they do which is why you do it.
It gives average height guys a chance to bang a girl who would otherwise dismiss them for height alone.
 

firstbornunicorn

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Happens to me. Usually women I'm not interested in, and/or they don't understand my playfulness. One dead-pan asked me if I had a girlfriend. I said "I have room for one more that can cook", and she just ended the interaction.
 

zinc4

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Fair enough, as I said at the end of my post, I am just surprised by it. Not my scene, nor my friends but we don't speak for all women obviously.

I would much prefer a shorter man with a knockout sexy as hell physique to a taller man who was awkward and/or wearing lifts.

To each his own.

You wouldnt know it in the first place lol. Not like they are going to up and tell you.
 

mrskinnypantz

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Ok guys, I am trying REAL hard to imagine what you experience with respect to height. I believe what you say but it's pretty far removed from what attracts me personally and my friends.

Like last weekend for example, I met a guy who must have been around 6'3" or 6'4", way too tall, he was gawky as hell, didn't stand straight, was too skinny, okay face but in truth his height and everything that went with turned me OFF.

And the lifts? Stuffing your shoes with whatever to make you appear taller?

Do woman actually respond positively to that? Apparently they do which is why you do it.

But seriously, don't you feel silly?

Not a judgment, just asking. I think it's different from dressing stylishly, wearing a sexy cologne or women wearing makeup, short skirt, etc. But we all do what works, if the lifts or stuffing work for you, more power to ya.

I am just surprised by it, that's all.
If 6’3-6’4 is too tall for you..
You must be 5’ or shorter?
but not all women care about height, and height is not a license to be lazy and out of shape either.
As far as those lift shoes go I wouldn’t go near em , cause I wouldn’t like taking them off and coming back down.
 

Bokanovsky

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The nice thing about "a woman I love very much" is that it could cover a wide variety of situations. If you don't find the woman attractive, you could mean your mom and be sincere about it without lying. And what woman could fault you for being a loving partner?
Thanks, I had a good chuckle out of this one :D Unless you love your mother in ways that are illegal in most states, how on earth could that line be "sincere"? It's like bragging to your friends about picking up a girl when in reality you picked her up from the train station...as part of your job as an uber driver...lol.
 
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