Some of you guys are aware I have a GF who comes from a wealthy family and also makes a decent living on her own. We've been together over a year and have had a lot of ups and downs. We both have a lot of pride and egos and while we can set them aside most times, whenever we bump heads it gets ugly, to the point where I'm convinced it's not going to work with this woman and I need to move on. Here's the kicker, I'm closing on a home very soon and currently staying with her until that happens and as of late she's been throwing around the idea of investment properties. She just moved to the city I'm in and it's a hot spot for real estate. The idea is that she would provide the funds to get started as long as I live with her at one of the properties and in the meantime rent mine out. Living with her is not something I want (atleast not yet) but this is one of those "hmm this could payoff for me if I just put up with certain things" type of situation. This isn't something I have to decide now. Just a thought to throw out to SS and get some opinions.
Im a little convinced you may already know your answer. You sound like your doing well. Why fck it up? On the other hand if you can keep your assets free and clear from litigation why not make some money?
Why not go with the flow and put your ego in check, cash and dash later on if your not happy. Just don't make it legally binding.
I’d tell her “babe, before we can go to the next level, because I know that’s what you want, we have some issues we need to work on.”
This is an In person convo, at a nice dinner perhaps.
Tell her about those times you had those “I don’t know if I can deal with this woman moments”
if she doesn’t convince you that she is going to work on those issues, don’t do any moving together or investment properties or any sh*t like that.
Don’t make it an ultimatum, but you and the so suave bro’s know it’s really an ultimatum.
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Yes, From the investment aspect, it’s usually a wise choice to never get into financial agreements, verbal or otherwise with friends, lovers, and family.
Yes, From the investment aspect, it’s usually a wise choice to never get into financial agreements, verbal or otherwise with friends, lovers, and family.
And that's what I'm struggling with. I don't know if it'll work out with her in the long run, regardless if we do this. But she works as a relationship manager at a clearing house and knows a **** ton about investments, things I can't wrap my head around. On one end it sounds like a great opportunity, but the risk of course is being tied up with someone I won't like in the future.
Whenever money gets Involved the dynamic changes completely..
Should just keep money and personal relationships completely separate from each other because money introduces a toxic element in humans..
If you think having a financial relationship with her is a good idea do it..
If you think having that relationship is is big bad fvxking mistake that's going to end in ww3 do not do it..
Simply keep the relationship going with no personal attachments and just have fun. If she keeps pushing for a ltr tell her flat out you don't trust her like that and your good doing what your doing, her pushing you with an ultimatum is a lack of respect and boundaries.
Your money is yours and you better fvxking know how to keep it away from incompetent people. Serious competitive cut throat game.. you don't just team with anybody and expect good results. Because good results are rare and takes skill. You think most women get good results long term LOLOLOL
Me personally. Never work with people who haven't made all their money by themselves. Inheritance money is a joke and unearned, the individual has no idea how money works and will most likely fvck everything up.
Exactly my point. This really doesn't have anything to do with the investment issue, that's just the convenient justification OP has convinced himself of in his own mind.
why do you not want to live with her yet? don't trade the relationship for money, you will end up with neither. some couples move in together to save money, then their relationship degrades because it was not in the right phase to become that kind of relationship. do you see her as a business partner or a relationship more?
I’d tell her “babe, before we can go to the next level, because I know that’s what you want, we have some issues we need to work on.”
This is an In person convo, at a nice dinner perhaps.
Tell her about those times you had those “I don’t know if I can deal with this woman moments”
if she doesn’t convince you that she is going to work on those issues, don’t do any moving together or investment properties or any sh*t like that.
Don’t make it an ultimatum, but you and the so suave bro’s know it’s really an ultimatum.
Cola its ironic a friend of mine is having these chats with his 25 yr GF just yesterday. Hes being pressed for a ring.
As good as your post is these chats with girls rarely ever work.
Negotiating with girls is useless. Its better to just tell them what you expect. And if they dont meet those expectations then your attention is cut off. Or a breakup. Compliance screening is hugely important these days. So you don't end up her therapist.
And this friend of mine is trying to just that.
As another poster said why it is important to LTR down assets wise. Someone poorer then you.
Whenever I see those two words 'Investment Opportunities' in sequence together, I immediately think of pyramid schemes.
Those two words get thrown out a lot during sales pitches.
Put away your credit card.
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Cola its ironic a friend of mine is having these chats with his 25 yr GF just yesterday. Hes being pressed for a ring.
As good as your post is these chats with girls rarely ever work.
Negotiating with girls is useless. Its better to just tell them what you expect. And if they dont meet those expectations then your attention is cut off. Or a breakup. Compliance screening is hugely important these days. So you don't end up her therapist.
And this friend of mine is trying to just that.
As another poster said why it is important to LTR down assets wise. Someone poorer then you.
It's not really a negotiation, he's laying down his expectations before commiting further. I think this is perfectly reasonable. She has an opportunity to chime in and then you see if you're on the same page or not. You can after that decide if you want to leave or not as a man.
If you don't make her feel involved in the relationship, there will be no relationship anymore. The key is being firm and stand your ground and not turn it into an argument.
OP is a confused individual ATM. In order for him to lay down his expectations he has yo have them first. And her being in a better financial situation and an "Ego" equal to his it doesn't look like he can do that ATM.
She seems like she has the leverage in this dynamic. And OP does not seem like the cash n dash type of casanova so until he figures out his purpose in this one he will most likely just keep butting heads with her.
Spaz you said the words. The amount of men im around in my daily life that negotiate with their girls is astounding. Sad but true.
Whether its money, direction, purchases, desire, sex, etc etc
Its a very high number. We are in the matrix.
Spaz you said the words. The amount of men im around in my daily life that negotiate with their girls is astounding. Sad but true.
Whether its money, direction, purchases, desire, sex, etc etc
Its a very high number. We are in the matrix.
